Song Luan had just woken up and didn't have much strength left in her body. She leaned against the pillow tiredly with a cold expression. Seeing Zhao Nanyu's stiff and haggard face, she pulled up the corners of her mouth and chuckled, "Men are cruel and ruthless. I can understand that. To become an emperor, you can't stand firm without being cruel."
So his killing of his wife was nothing, she was just one of the stepping stones on his road to power.
Song Luan did not lie. She felt empty and confused inside, but she was not sad or upset, and she was not moved. It was as if she was watching someone else's story.
Zhao Nanyu felt that every word coming out of her mouth was tearing his heart out, and she might as well curse him viciously.
He opened his mouth, his throat was a little sore. At this moment, no matter what he said, it would be useless. It all seemed like an excuse. It was undeniable that he had done that.
Song Luan lowered her head, as if she didn't want to see him. She played with the quilt cover with her fingers. Her long hair covered half of her face. She smiled and continued, "But you were really too cruel to my parents and brother."
Thinking of the noble and unrivaled Crown Prince in armor in her dream, Song Luan felt a little uncomfortable. Her brother must have loved her very much and had been protecting her since she was born.
In the end, his body was torn apart, which was a horrible sight.
Zhao Nanyu's throat was in great pain, and his eyes were gradually turning red. He explained word by word: "I didn't kill your father, mother, and brother."
It wasn't him, it was the army of the King of Southwest who did it.
It was he who told the commander-in-chief of the march about the secret passage out of the palace, and it was the deputy general beside him who chopped off the head of the Crown Prince.
All of these things have already happened.
Song Luan felt that there was no need for him to lie to her. She nodded to show that she understood. She groaned and said, "Maybe they were afraid that I would go to look for you and not leave, so they lied to me."
She lied to her that her parents and brother were killed by her husband.
But none of this mattered anymore. When Song Luan woke up, she thought she would hate him and wish he would die, but her heart was calm and peaceful like a dead spring.
She couldn't even hate him anymore.
Song Luan said casually: "We should have no other misunderstandings, right? You shot that arrow yourself, right?"
Her original intention was just to confirm, and she really had no intention of settling any scores.
Zhao Nanyu's body suddenly froze, his limbs were cold, his fingertips under his wide sleeves were trembling slightly, the color on his face faded a little bit, his lips turned pale, he took a breath, tried to steady himself, "It's me."
He killed him with his own hands, there is no excuse.
When he held the bow and arrow, his hands did not shake at all. He was resolute and decisive, and ended her life cleanly and neatly.
Song Luan said: "It's good as long as there is no misunderstanding."
Compared with the imperial ambitions, what does killing one's wife matter?
What's so embarrassing about the princess of the previous dynasty? If she had survived by chance, the spit of the Confucian officials would have forced him to divorce her. A proud and arrogant person like the little princess would definitely not live in disgrace and would be ashamed for the rest of her life.
Besides, almost all her family members were gone, so even if Zhao Nanyu didn't kill her, she wouldn't be able to survive.
Song Luan thought so and felt that she was really magnanimous and could think from Zhao Nanyu's perspective.
The man in front of her seemed to want to touch her, his hand stretched out in the air and then moved back abruptly, he asked with difficulty, "Do you hate me?
Song Luan was a little confused, then shook her head, "No hatred."
But I don't love him either.
Doesn’t it take effort to hate someone?
Song Luan felt tired of watching the entanglement of several lifetimes. Love and hate were like floating clouds that could be blown away by a light breeze.
Song Luan pondered for a while, then slowly said, "Zhao Nanyu, please let me go."
It's boring. It's really boring.
She lives alone and is free and carefree.
Zhao Nanyu's face suddenly turned even paler. He grabbed her wrist tightly and said fiercely, "No."
Song Luan blurted out, "But I don't like you, and I will never like you in the future."
She didn't think her words could cause much harm to Zhao Nanyu.
What's the point of spending the rest of your life with someone who will never fall in love with you? Song Luan couldn't figure it out, but she had never been able to understand Zhao Nanyu's thoughts.
It was clearly he who killed his wife with his own hands, and it was he who demanded an afterlife in the end.
Men are just so cheap.
Sharp pain crawled from the soles of his feet to the back of his head, and Zhao Nanyu murmured to himself, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I don't love you."
As long as the person is still by his side, it is enough.
He doesn't ask for anything else.
It would be nice to live like this for the rest of my life.
It doesn’t matter if there is no afterlife.
He can bear it.
The child sleeping in the bed opened his mouth and cried loudly.
Song Luan's heart softened when she heard the baby crying. She gently held the child in her arms and coaxed the child in a low voice, completely ignoring the man in front of her.
But after coaxing for a long time, the child still cried louder and his face turned red.
Song Luan had never taken care of a child before, and she was at a loss as to what to do.
Zhao Nanyu said, "He might be hungry." He stretched out his hand to her, "Give me the child, I'll take him to the nurse."
Song Luan hugged the child tightly and said, "I'll feed it myself."
In front of Zhao Nanyu, Song Luan didn't know where her shame came from. She was a little embarrassed to undress in front of him and signaled him to leave with her eyes, but Zhao Nanyu pretended not to understand and stayed shamelessly.
Song Luan blushed as she unbuttoned her clothes and began to breastfeed the baby with clumsy technique.
She turned sideways, reluctantly letting Zhao Nanyu see her.
As expected, the child stopped crying and making a fuss after drinking milk. Song Luan lowered her head and looked at the baby in her arms with loving eyes. Although the tiny child had not opened his eyes yet, she just thought that her child was very cute.
After the baby was full, he moved his arms and fell asleep again.
Song Luan was reluctant to put him down, and held him and watched him for a long time. The candlelight flickered, and her expression was unusually gentle. She gently put the child on the bed, then raised her face and said slowly to Zhao Nanyu: "I want to go back to the Song family to live for a while, what do you think?"
Of course, after going to the Song family, she would never come back.
Zhao Nanyu lowered his eyes, and his bony fingers tightly grasped her wrist. His voice was hoarse and sounded a little gloomy, "Don't even think about it."
Zhao Nanyu's twisted character will not change because of his past mistakes; his strong desire for control and his unwillingness to let go until death remain the same.
Paranoid and stubborn.
Guilt wasn't enough to make him let go.
Song Luan was not surprised to get such an answer from him, "Whatever you want."
It doesn’t matter what happens to Zhao Nanyu.
She also has two children.
Song Luan thought silently that maybe she really liked Zhao Nanyu in the past, otherwise she would not have been so sad when he chose to kill her.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that she was heartbroken. All the sweet years they had spent together and her deep love for him disappeared with that arrow.
In this life, Zhao Nanyu has become an insignificant person to Song Luan.
It would be best if I could leave him.
Shi Ge'er was very sad at first when he found out it was a brother and not a sister. After all, he had been looking forward to it for a long time and always thought that the baby in his mother's belly would be a lovely sister.
After school every day, he would come to Song Luan's room, stay by his brother's bed, and look at his brother attentively.
Zhi Ge'er asked curiously, "Mother, why haven't my brother's eyes been open? Does he not like me?"
Song Luan smiled and replied: "No, you were like this when you were a child. Your brother's eyes will open in two days."
Shi Ge nodded, "I understand. I'll just wait."
He also wants to play with his brother.
The child hasn't been given a name yet, not even a nickname.
Song Luan rarely talks to Zhao Nanyu anymore, and even when they do, they always talk about their children.
His stubbornness really exceeded her imagination. When Song Luan had free time, she would occasionally think of the times he killed her.
She herself felt that she was very miserable. She died again and again, and every time at the hands of the same person.
She really wanted to leave Zhao Nanyu, but why did she have to struggle so much and end up with Zhao Nanyu?
But Zhao Nanyu never gave in to her wanting to leave.
At dusk, he returned from the palace. Song Luan held the child and hummed a song to him. After coaxing the child to sleep, she had time to ask him, "You haven't named him yet."
Zhao Nanyu replied: "Call me Zhao Zhi."
Song Luan had no objection. The name was not bad, so she nodded and said, "Okay."
Zhao Nanyu added: "You can come up with the nickname for the child."
Song Luan was not usually a person who liked to use her brain. After a moment, she said, "Just call him Erbao."
The second baby, nice to hear and easy to remember.
Song Luan gently pinched Erbao's little face, "Eat, sleep, sleep, eat, you are the one who lives the most comfortably in the whole mansion."
Zhao Nanyu looked at her and the child silently without saying a word.
The first person Erbao saw when he opened his eyes was his father. His black eyes rolled around and the little guy, who smelled like milk, was grinning, but suddenly, he burst into tears loudly.
When Shi Ge'er was a child, he was mostly with Zhao Nanyu. Zhao Nanyu was very adept at taking care of children. He held the child in his arms skillfully and coaxed him gently.
Erbao didn't seem to like his father very much. He didn't give him any face and continued to cry loudly.
When Song Luan heard the sound, he hurried out of the house and took the child from him.
As soon as the second baby was in his mother's arms, he stopped crying and lay down obediently.
Zhao Nanyu couldn't help but curse in a low voice, "Little bastard."
The second baby is very cute, with a fair and clean face, some flesh on his face, and big eyes. He rarely cries, but his father is always there every time he cries.
Song Luan had no resistance to the cute baby, not to mention that this baby was born after she had been pregnant for ten months. She would not tolerate Zhao Nanyu scolding her.
She replied angrily: "He is a bunny, and you are the rabbit."
Zhao Nanyu responded generously, "Yes, I am."
The second baby was only ten days old. He slept for ten hours a day. He closed his eyes when he was full. He would only look at them with noble eyes when he was in good spirits.
Zhao Nanyu gently placed his hand on her shoulder and spoke slowly, "The baby's full moon celebration still needs to be held. Leave these matters to me. I just want to ask you, is there anyone you want to invite?"
Song Luan shook her head, "No."
She didn't know many people.
Zhao Nanyu then asked: "What about those who don't want to be invited?"
Song Luan didn't bother to be polite with him and said directly: "Your second aunt. I don't like her."
He was sarcastic and sycophantic, and had often done things that tripped her up in the past.
Zhao Nanyu said: "Then I won't invite you."
Erbao was sleeping soundly in the cradle. Song Luan suddenly remembered something. She looked up, stared into his eyes, and asked, "I hadn't been pregnant for many years at that time. Was it you who did that?"
She spoke casually, as if she didn't take it seriously.
Zhao Nanyu's heart was suddenly pierced by her words, and bleeding continued to flow.
He replied hoarsely, "Yes, it's me."
In her previous life, the prince and the little princess were childhood sweethearts. They had known each other since they were young, and when they got married, she thought they were in love with each other. I never doubted my husband's sincerity.
Song Luan's eyes were a little blurry. She remembered that the little girl in her dream seemed to have cried many times because she couldn't get pregnant.
Song Luan came back to his senses, and the words came out of his mouth without thinking, "You are so mean."
She propped her chin up with both hands and asked again, "If you are so bad, why don't you just be bad to the end?"
It’s not that I can’t do it. I’ve already tried to kill her. Zhao Nanyu regretted it in the end.
He endured the pain and said, "Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?"
"Okay, then don't tell me."
Song Luan had just given birth to a child, and her breasts were bulging. Her old clothes seemed a little small on her, outlining her figure to perfection.
After eating some nourishing foods for half a month, Song Luan's complexion became rosy and her body looked a little fuller than before.
The second baby likes to sleep in her arms, and every time he goes to sleep, he always uses his chubby little hands to pull the collar of her clothes. The baby doesn't have much strength, so he can just use his curled up fingers to pull it open with a little effort.
Song Luan's whole attention was on the child, and she paid very little attention to Zhao Nanyu.
But Zhao Nanyu was unwilling to swallow his anger in front of her, and could not help but order the wet nurse to take the child to the cubicle.
Song Luan looked at him coldly and unhappily, "What do you mean?"
Zhao Nanyu was dressed in black, standing in the darkness and looking even more gloomy. He said slowly, "I'm afraid I'll tire you out. You don't need to take care of the kids all day."
Song Luan almost rolled her eyes at him, "I'd love to."
Zhao Nanyu pinched her thin wrist bone and said, "I don't like it. You have to look at me."
He suddenly leaned over, his thin lips touching her snow-white neck, "It's okay if you don't like it, but you can't ignore me on purpose."
After estrangement comes leaving.
Song Luan shrank back and smiled sweetly, "I didn't."
Well, she was definitely distancing herself from her.
Song Luan even took advantage of the fact that he was not at home and secretly wrote a letter to Aunt Lin, in which she clearly stated that she would take the two children back to the Song family.
Song Luan spent a large sum of money to bribe someone to take the risk of delivering the letter to her.
She planned it well. On the day of Erbao's full moon, she took advantage of the crowds of people and sneaked out under the protection of Aunt Lin.
The person was lost in his own home, so Zhao Nanyu should not try to blame others.
However, two days later, Zhao Nanyu came to see her with the letter she had sent to Aunt Lin.
Zhao Nanyu's face was calm. He took out the envelope from his sleeve, put it on the table, and chuckled, "I taught you how to write, and you really put it into practice."
Song Luan faced him and said, "You taught well."
Zhao Nanyu was so calm that it was a little scary. "I won't let you leave."
Song Luan was a little annoyed and said without restraint, "You are so annoying. Is it fun to force someone to do something? I was killed several times, not you. Why don't you let me go? I am a victim and I haven't said anything yet. Can you let me go?"
Zhao Nanyu was probably crazy, with a dark light in his eyes. He approached her step by step and said, "I won't let go."
He is selfish and stubborn.
Zhao Nanyu smiled and said, "If you really want to leave, you can leave the child behind."
Can she bear with it?
She couldn't bear to do that.
Zhao Nanyu rarely used such methods on her before, but when he really used these inferior methods, he did so without hesitation.
"Zhao Nanyu, do you know or not?"
"I don't hate you nor do I love you."
"You are a stranger to me."
"Are you still going to keep me by your side?"
All these words turned into sharp swords that killed people without shedding blood, stabbing into his body one by one.
Zhao Nanyu smiled lightly and said, "I want it."
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