Chapter 54: When the first snow falls, I will take you back to Jiangling...
After Lu Tingwu waited for his father to leave, he ran over. As soon as he entered the study, he saw Lu Tingwan stumbling and struggling to walk, and his steps stopped outside.
Choking with sobs and aching with heartache, she called out, "Ah Wan..."
The word "Awan" was drawn out very long.
Lu Tingwan's tears, which she had been suppressing for a long time, began to fall again: "Sister... am I wrong?"
Lu Tingwan clutched her arm tightly, her palm clinging to broken snow, stained red with blood from the scratches from the porcelain shards. "Am I, am I my father's daughter?"
Her words pierced Lu Tingwu's heart. She blamed herself, blamed herself for letting her marry in place of others, and blamed her father for being so cruel to her.
"Ah Wan, I'm sorry for you..."
"Sister," Lu Tingwan said, a sad smile fading from her brows, "you must love and cherish Mr. Jiang, and grow old together."
"Awan?"
Kyoto's first snow arrived uninvited, starting with fine flakes that gradually grew denser, dotting the bluestone tiles before covering them with a layer of white.
As the sky darkened, the corridor lights came on, swaying in the wind and hitting the eaves pillars. The lamps left their mark on her cheek, leaving it red and swollen from Lu Mingqian's fingerprints.
The cold wind blew in my face, exacerbating the stinging pain.
This was the first snow she had ever seen since she was a child. Lu Tingwan looked up at the dark night, seeing countless snowflakes falling. She was like a newborn creature, full of wonder at the first snow. She raised her palm to catch the fragments, which instantly turned into mist. With a touch of her fingertips, they disappeared.
"It's snowing..."
Lu Tingwu stepped forward and looked at the wound on her cheek with concern: "Ah Wan, does your face hurt? Can I apply some medicine for you?"
"Sister? I almost ruined your marriage, and my father blamed me. Don't you blame Wan?" Her eyes were filled with sadness as she continued to look at the endless darkness. Even the high walls and eaves were hidden in the night.
Snowflakes fell into her eyelashes, and Lu Tingwan blinked and looked away.
"How can I have the nerve to blame you?" Lu Tingwu felt extremely distressed. "If it weren't for you..."
Lu Tingwan interrupted: "Sister, Kyoto is so cold, I have to leave..."
"It's snowing heavily, and you have a leg injury. I'll treat your wound and send someone to take you back to the Cheng Mansion."
Lu Tingwu thought she was just being cold and didn't understand what he meant.
Lu Tingwan turned a blind eye and just walked out of the Lu family in the snow.
Returning to Cheng Mansion, after tonight, there would be no room for her anymore. Although it was snowing, the streets of Kyoto were still crowded after dark. People were immersed in the auspiciousness of the first snow, praying for blessings and having fun.
She wandered aimlessly like a soulless skeleton.
Zhichunli was gone. In half a year, she gradually brought Zhichunli to the attention of the people of Kyoto. In a few years, it would become famous.
Now we can only stop here.
Maybe it is God's will that no one can stay in Kyoto, and nothing about her will be left behind.
She didn't know how long it had been before she reached Weiyang Street, where the bustling crowd pulled her back from the quagmire.
Is this Chunfeng Tower?
People in this world are drifting and aimless, like a wisp of water floating up and down, rising with the wind and falling with the wind.
This is where the desperate ones go, and this is also where the powerful and wealthy go. It's all just a matter of fate. There's no need to talk about nobility or humbleness. Everyone just gets what they need.
The sound of wind instruments drifted in, a mixture of compassion and joy, as people in different situations conveyed their emotions. The waitresses outside Chunfeng Tower greeted passers-by.
Whether you are reluctant or bold, or hiding, you will all go to jail in the end, so why bother deceiving yourself?
Lu Tingwan shook his head and continued forward. After taking a few steps, a "bang" sound startled the guests in Chunfeng Tower and they exclaimed.
The voices of pedestrians exploded, and someone shouted at the crowd, which reached Lu Tingwan's ears.
"Someone jumped off the building..."
In an instant, guards formed a human wall outside Chunfeng Tower, and no one was allowed to approach.
As she continued walking forward, someone in the crowd called out again, "Isn't this the daughter of farmer Lao Zhou?"
"The lawsuit was won, and Gao Heng is already dead. Why are you still so depressed?"
Lu Tingwan froze in place, motionless, like a human-shaped ice sculpture in the snow. Passersby, in a hurry, bumped into her while watching. Only then did she come to her senses, her soul floating in the snow, entangled with the unwillingness and hatred in her heart, making her uncomfortable and heartbroken.
With her remaining strength, she pushed through the crowd and her eyes fell on the person lying in the snow. Her eyes were wide open and the smile on her lips seemed to tell her that the world was unfair and human life was worthless. She would not be able to wait for the day when she would return to Jiangling.
Hua'er was still wearing the clothes she wore on the day she entered Chunfeng Tower. After Lu Tingwan left, he injected a ray of light into her closed and dark vagina, a light source that could bloom into the scorching sun.
When she mustered up the courage to step out of the darkness and greet the scorching sun, gossip came flooding in from all directions like a tidal wave, leaving her powerless to resist and not allowing her to put up a fight, drowning the weak flower in rumors of cannibalism.
Those voices pushed her back, devoured her, and tore her apart step by step!
"That's the dirty stuff from Chunfeng Tower."
"Since you still have the nerve to come back."
"How dare she come out and see people?"
"Who would want someone like her in the future?"
"Since it's already dirty, let me play with it?"
“…”
She retreated to her nest, which she thought could protect her, hid in a corner where no one could see her, and hid herself step by step.
But those voices were always there, penetrating through the walls, through the veils, and into her heart, like stubborn evil spirits, wanting to devour her, tear her apart, and force her to death.
She returned to Chunfeng Tower, looked up at the bustling Kyoto in the first snow, and jumped from the highest point, carrying the stigma bestowed on her by the world, blending into the snow-white sky and ground. Her blood dyed the thin snow red, like blooming flowers, imprinted in this white winter scene.
In her hand she was still holding the flower branch that Lu Tingwan had given her when he left.
“As long as your heart is toward the sunshine, there is life.”
“Even a withered petal has its uses. It’s not the petal itself that is useless, but the inability to discover the use of things themselves that is the most useless.”
"Flower, you are not dirty, they are dirty."
"When the first snow falls, I'll take you back to Jiangling, okay?"
Zhou Hua was just one breath away when she saw the figures squeezed out of the crowd. She opened her lips and said silently, "Sister, I can't wait any longer..."
Lu Tingwan rushed through the protective enclosure set up by the guards and knelt in front of Zhou Hua. She looked at her covered in blood, with her hands raised helplessly but not knowing where to start. She was afraid of hurting her by touching her, and also afraid of scaring her already timid body. She suppressed her sobs and tried to calm her beating heart, but it was no use.
"Flowers...flowers..." Lu Tingwan lost his voice, and the tears that had been held back flowed like a torrent at this moment.
"Hua'er, you promised me, wait for me, wait for me to take you away..."
Zhou Hua raised her hand, but was powerless to touch her. Her tightly clenched palm slowly loosened. The wind and snow blew, and the petals drifted away. She closed her eyes...
The beautiful Zhou Hua ended her short life in this first snow. She chose to hide from the rumors in order to stop herself from dying.
In the end, the petals were rolled away to who knows where. Her vision was blurred by tears and she could not see clearly, but she only felt that the pool of blood was bright red and dazzling.
"Flowers..." Everyone kept talking as Lu Tingwan was heartbroken.
"Isn't this Shopkeeper Jiang?"
"Life is unpredictable. I heard that Shopkeeper Jiang offended someone by redressing the grievances of the farmers, and Zhichunli was also closed down. Now this farmer's daughter has committed suicide to prove her righteousness. It's so sad, so sad."
Zhou Hua was not wrong, but she could not overcome the indestructible wall built of prejudice.
Lu Tingwan was heartbroken. She had made every effort, but in the end, nothing was left and the ending did not get better.
She took off the cloak and covered Zhou Hua's slender body. It was the last bit of dignity she could give.
Lu Tingwan dipped her fingertips in the blood mixed in the snow, dotted it on Zhou Hua's lips, and then lightly smudged it, adding the final touch of makeup to her.
"The flowers are beautiful. I hope to be born in an enlightened and prosperous world in the next life, and no longer be trapped by the mundane world."
Uncle Zhou came over from the crowd and cried out in grief when he saw this scene. Lu Tingwan gradually lost his hearing from the humming and noise, and the people in front of him became circles of blurry stars. The first snow kept falling, and the coldness on his body dissipated the warmth in his body.
So cold!
At some point, she became dispirited and wandered the streets aimlessly like a zombie.
Ice and snow fell into her collar, and her cold body caused her to shiver continuously.
She told Lu Mingqian that everything turned out as she wished, but Zhou Hua ultimately chose to end her life, sacrificing her illusory reputation of innocence.
The result has not changed.
It was her. It was she who insisted that Uncle Zhou go to the Ministry of Justice to appeal for justice, letting the whole city know about it and exposing Zhou Hua's experience to everyone. Otherwise, she would not be so depressed.
Lu Mingqian's words lingered in his mind like an evil ghost.
“Is this the best possible outcome?”
Yes, she had no idea how the situation would develop, nor could she control his life or death. Everything was in vain, and the bloody scene lingered in her mind for a long time.
This result was not what she wanted.
But she is not the only one who caused this result.
Lu Tingwan suddenly figured something out, and her wandering spirit returned. With her eyes as bright as torches, she used her remaining strength to return to Cheng Mansion in the heavy snow.
But her clothes were no longer neat, her cheeks were flushed, her eye sockets were swollen from crying, and her delicate face was covered with tear marks. She no longer cared about her appearance and clothes as usual, and strode towards the study.
She was not sure whether Cheng Xianzhi was there, but her only thought at the moment was to see this person immediately.
There were two servants guarding the door outside the academy. Before the servants could greet him, Lu Tingwan had already rushed into the study. The servants followed closely behind him, trying to stop Lu Tingwan from rushing in so rashly.
Han Zhou and Cheng Xianzhi were discussing matters inside. No one else was allowed to enter without being summoned. This was Cheng Xianzhi's rule, and the people in the mansion didn't dare to break it, so they were anxious.
She pushed the door open and walked in without hesitation. Han Zhou heard the commotion outside and was about to come out to investigate when he was bumped into by Lu Tingwan. Lu Tingwan just glanced over and saw Cheng Xianzhi sitting inside, looking at this person.
Han Zhou raised his arm to block her way. "Second Madam, what's this? Han Zhou is discussing matters with the Lord. What's your urgent matter?"
Lu Tingwan turned her head, and Han Zhou saw her face clearly. The finger marks were particularly clear, and there were pieces of snow hanging on her body.
Without giving Han Zhou time to think, Lu Tingwan pushed away the person blocking her way. Han Zhou could have remained motionless, but he used the force to dodge to the side and gave Cheng Xianzhi a look.
Cheng Xianzhi didn't know what had maddened her, so he said in a cold and stern voice, "Han Zhou said, I'm discussing something."
I originally thought that she came for the divorce that I had promised her that day.
But Lu Tingwan was approaching with an agitated mood, and her eyes contained an inexplicable hatred. Without waiting for Cheng Xianzhi's reaction, she swept the stacked books on the desk to the ground without warning, and some of them fell on Cheng Xianzhi. Cheng Xianzhi frowned and suppressed his anger, and his emotions were quite stable!
Lu Tingwan leaned on the table with both arms, his eyes bloodshot as he asked, "You've been investigating Gao Heng for a long time, right?"
Facing the sudden question, Cheng Xianzhi remained calm and just gestured to Han Zhou, who went out and closed the door.
Through the candlelight, Cheng Xianzhi's eyes were fixed on the fingerprints on her cheek. He could even smell the scent of blood. He didn't ask the question in his heart, but asked, "What did Lu Mingqian say to you?"
"Don't ask me," Lu Tingwan yelled, "Now I'm asking you, were you investigating Gao Heng before I brought Uncle Zhou to the Ministry of Justice to appeal for justice?"
Cheng Xianzhi looked her straight in the face and remained silent for a long time. This response was tantamount to confirming her guess.
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