Chapter 23 Confession
"So, in your heart, who would you rather confess first?"
Holding the phone, Lin Yujing felt a sudden unease, almost like her own hesitation.
But the moment his voice came out, her heart melted.
"Jingjing, are you feeling better?"
Where would someone undergo dangerous heart surgery themselves, yet be more concerned about the health of others?
"I'm so sorry! It's been more than half a month since I found out about your surgery." She stood on the balcony, the winter wind making her nose slightly red, and quickly explained to him.
“I deliberately prevented Chu Yan from saying it.” Chen Jingshu should have been lying in bed; you could hear the rustling sound of fabric as he turned over. “I didn’t expect you to ask.”
"I was afraid you wouldn't like it, so I asked around about your schedule." She bit her lip, speaking softly and with a sense of inferiority, revealing the love she had been desperately suppressing in her heart, a love that was both turbulent and restrained.
“Jingjing, if you want to know my schedule, I’ll have Yuan Shu send you a copy every day from now on.” His voice was soft, yet it was as if he could see right through her heart through those words.
That's not what I meant.
"But that's what I mean."
Lin Yujing's eyes suddenly became moist and hot, and her heart pounded at his words. At the same time, she felt that she had been too selfish all along.
I'm always being sentimental and conflicted around him, both in the past and now; I'm awkward and not open with him.
Chen Jingshu was really unlucky to meet her.
"Was your surgery successful?" Lin Yujing admitted that she wasn't brave enough and needed a little time to adjust to his sudden closeness.
So we changed the subject, to an ambiguous and seemingly plausible topic.
Upon hearing this, Chen Jingshu chuckled softly, somewhat unwilling to let her off the hook, determined to tease her heart in the dead of night. He asked in a languid yet sexy voice, "Jingjing, are you greeting the investor boss or Chen Jingshu right now?"
A single, casual remark, carried on the early winter evening breeze, utterly stirred up people's hearts.
Lin Yujing brushed a strand of hair that had been messed up by the wind, and deliberately snapped the rubber band back. "A-Shu, I'm saying hello to my first love."
There was a sudden silence on the other end of the phone, and just when Lin Yujing thought the call had been disconnected, she suddenly heard a sound like a heart beating rapidly coming from the receiver.
For a moment, she thought she was just too nervous, which was why her uncontrollably rapid heartbeat gave it away.
"Don't worry, your first love's surgery was a success."
"What's that sound over there?"
Almost simultaneously, the two spoke.
Chen Jingshu seemed embarrassed again, and his voice lowered a few decibels. "It's the sound of the heart monitor. When my heart beats too slowly or too fast, it will emit a heart rate synchronization warning sound."
Lin Yujing felt her heartbeat getting out of control. "It seems a bit fast. Should I call the doctor?"
“Jingjing, my biggest heart problem is low heart rate,” Chen Jingshu explained to her. “That was the fastest my heart had ever beat since the surgery.”
Lin Yujing's cheeks began to burn, and her mind went completely blank. "Is that abnormal?"
"It's not unusual. It's my first love, their concern for my body, the tangible changes in my heart that made me happy." Chen Jingshu spoke directly and clearly, leaving no room for ambiguity. The emotional tug-of-war between adults is full of alluring fantasies.
"When are you going back to China?" She still couldn't bring herself to say it directly, so she silently translated the question into her heart: 'I want to see you.'
"I didn't know either. You need a medical examination report to be discharged here, and you have to meet the standards." After saying that, Chen Jingshu asked, "What's wrong? Is there something urgent that requires me to go back to China?"
"It's nothing urgent." She couldn't say that what was urgent was wanting to see him.
"Really, there's nothing urgent that requires you to see me?"
"No."
Chen Jingshu's voice immediately dropped, "I understand, so you don't want to see me."
Lin Yujing felt that after he grew up, even his way of doing things and his personality changed.
They enjoy creating a lively atmosphere, teasing people, and especially misinterpreting what others say.
In short, things have gone bad.
"Chen Jingshu, don't misinterpret my words!" It's rare for me to actually provoke her.
"Then what did you mean when you asked me when I was going back to China?" The stubborn girl kept pressing for an answer.
She couldn't help but think that this was probably a characteristic of capitalists.
One sentence can be interpreted in a hundred ways, leading to a complaint: "How can a simple sentence contain so many layers of meaning?"
"..." To everyone's surprise, Chen Jingshu remained silent.
Over the phone, one can only discern another's emotions through the electrical current, and Lin Yujing inexplicably pictured him looking wronged.
"I wanted to ask when you'll recover." She still couldn't bring herself to blame Chen Jingshu; he was the one who held the privileges in her life.
Chen Jingshu was then happy and replied, "I will definitely return to China before the winter solstice."
winter solstice.
His words this time seemed to leave room for interpretation.
Because the winter solstice is her birthday.
So, as if by some kind of agreement, Lin Yujing drew a circle on the calendar on her desk that night for the winter solstice.
It reads: Ah Shu is back in China.
-
"President Chen rushed back to China before the winter solstice, it seems he's going to celebrate your birthday with you," Qi Woxue said to her with a smile after learning this.
Lin Yujing lay on the table, "Actually, in these 25 years, I've only celebrated my birthday once."
Back in Penghu, Chen Xuan and Chen Jingshu were there to keep her company.
During the seven years they were separated, she struggled to make ends meet, let alone make a point of commemorating any particular day.
"Oh! Poor child, someone will definitely be there for you in the future."
Lin Yujing shrugged and sighed slightly, not wanting to talk about these things. "Senior sister, are there any temples that are more effective? I want to get him a peace charm."
She couldn't afford expensive gifts, so she thought of giving something that would better express her feelings.
"Recently, the incense ash glass bracelets at Yonghe Temple have become very popular, but you have to start queuing at seven in the morning, and there are only 200 bracelets available each day."
Lin Yujing searched online and found that "it seems pretty good; many people say it works."
She acted immediately, getting up at six o'clock the next day and planning to queue at Yonghe Temple at seven o'clock.
As she was congratulating herself on arriving ten minutes early, she discovered that the line was already full.
Those who return empty-handed on the first day get up before dawn on the second day.
In December, the windows were shrouded in a hazy mist.
When the light is turned on, the water droplets condense and slowly slide down.
Qi Woxue groggily opened her eyes and asked, "It's only 4:30, why are you up so early to write your thesis?"
Lin Yujing took out a thick down jacket from the closet, wishing she could wrap herself up like a bear. "No, I'm going to the Yonghe Temple to ask for a bracelet for A-Shu."
Qi Woxue frowned, her head slumped, and she collapsed again. "It's insane, it's below zero today."
As Lin Yujing walked out of the dormitory building, puffs of white mist appeared with just her breath.
By the time she rode a shared bicycle to Line 15 and then transferred to Line 5 to Yonghegong, it was still only six o'clock, and the sky over Yijing was just beginning to turn a pale gray.
It got so cold that she bought a bottle of hot soy milk from the side and held it in her arms to warm herself up.
"Miss, are you also here to make a wish at Yonghe Temple?" While waiting, a girl of similar age suddenly struck up a conversation with her.
Lin Yujing was slow to warm up to people, and she didn't explain, only nodding.
"Seeking wealth? Seeking romance?"
"Neither."
"Have you ever heard of the Yonghe Temple's prayer and wish-making remedies, which are said to be effective?" The girl seemed to be very outgoing, and since there were only the two of them around, she stood next to her and started chatting.
"What is the efficacy of adjustment?"
"For example, if you seek wealth, you might get hit by a car on your way back, and the compensation for a broken bone is also considered wealth. Or, if you seek a change of fortune, you might end up changing jobs or careers. In short, the outcome is what you wanted, but the process is rather unexpected."
Lin Yujing had never heard such a bizarre claim before, and she was amused. "It's possible to say that? It seems that the gods are rather rebellious."
"Then what exactly do you want from here?"
"I'm not making any wishes, I'm just asking for a friend to have a bracelet made of incense ash for their safety and health."
"Boy friend?"
"no."
"What kind of friend would you have to be to come and queue up for blessings before dawn in sub-zero temperatures?"
Lin Yujing just smiled and asked in return, "And you, are you here to make a wish?"
The girl's expression suddenly turned somewhat forlorn. "Well, I want to see if my bizarre wish can be granted by the gods."
Lin Yujing looked at the girl in front of her. She was beautiful, bright and flamboyant, dressed in designer brands from head to toe, and her hair exuded the air of a pampered rich girl.
"Tell me, how bizarre is it?"
"How bizarre? I want to marry my brother, is that considered weird?"
Lin Yujing always respected all sexual orientations, but she was still surprised by her question, "Stepbrother, foster brother, or godbrother?"
“Dear, from the same family tree.” The girl said, choking on the cold wind. “My family has arranged a blind date for me, and this year is probably my last chance.”
Lin Yujing didn't know what to say. Just as she was about to comfort her, the doors of Yonghe Temple opened.
A group of people rushed in together, and when she turned around again, the girl was gone.
With only her bizarre wish, she queued up and bought a blue, ash-colored glass bracelet to pray for good health.
By the time she squeezed out of the crowd, it was already broad daylight.
The former royal site was solemn and imposing, with a constant stream of pilgrims, and the entire ancient building was shrouded in wisps of bluish-gray smoke.
For some reason, Lin Yujing also followed the crowd to the place of prayer.
I thought to myself, if the ending can come true, it doesn't matter if the process is rugged, bizarre, or even a tragic and heartbreaking one.
-
After a weekend, there are only four days left until the winter solstice.
Lin Yujing's mentor recommended a client surnamed Li to her, saying that her daughter was about to get married and she wanted Li to paint an oil painting to mark the occasion.
"Jingjing, what's the bride's name?"
Do you know Li Qinci?
“The only daughter of the Li family in the capital.” The girl from the same college, who was also working on a manuscript, nodded and pointed to the Chinese medicine packet on her desk. “The Chinese medicine you’re drinking is from her family.”
Zhang Jiale was lying on her desk. The sun had already set, and he was extremely sleepy, but he still refused to leave and insisted on staying with her.
They chatted idly, listening to the two gossip.
"That's amazing."
"So, you only want six thousand six, which is too little."
Lin Yujing smiled and said, "I'm painting a picture for the bride, just to share in the joy."
"Sister, you shouldn't get involved in any celebratory events." The girl suddenly whispered, "Miss Li was studying in Germany and had no idea that her fiancé had a first love. I heard she was the daughter of his family's driver. They grew up together as childhood sweethearts, but unfortunately, they were not a good match, and his family absolutely refused to approve."
"And then?" Lin Yujing, who was usually not interested in such gossip, was unusually curious today.
"The groom had made a scene and tried to run away before the engagement, but when his mother fainted, he was immediately scared and agreed. The key point is that both the groom and his first love are deeply in love and haven't broken up yet; they're secretly keeping each other."
Zhang Jiale said lazily, "Isn't that like a first love turning into a mistress?"
“That’s not wrong,” the girl nodded. “But her first love was really tragic. Her parents burned to death in the villa while trying to save her parents. As a result, she turned her back on them and only wanted to get close to the Li family.”
"..." Lin Yujing held a few pencils, feeling a little indescribable.
"My first love was a top student, either from Peking University or Renmin University. People say she was an intellectual, passionate, and talented woman."
Zhang Jiale clicked his tongue, "There's always a lot of trouble in wealthy families."
"If you ask me, it would be best to marry an ordinary local from Beijing, someone from a warm and loving family," the girl said.
Lin Yujing smiled and said, "Last time, when Senior Sister Qi and I were promoting the Hundred Schools Alliance in People's Park, we met a few middle-aged women who said that their families belonged to the Plain Yellow Banner and their sons could only marry girls from Beijing, not even Mentougou, and Chaoyang District would do. Since Senior Sister Qi and I were from Tsinghua University, they gave us special face and asked which banner we belonged to."
"What did you say?"
“I said, I belong to the five-star red flag.”
Immediately, everyone burst into laughter. "Jingjing, you always look so serious and earnest. I thought you didn't have a talent for humor."
As they were talking, the studio door was suddenly pushed open from the outside, and the old, warped wooden door immediately emitted a sharp, screeching sound.
Along with the cold wind sweeping in, carrying a faint scent of ebony and sandalwood, it all rushed into the room.
Instantly, Lin Yujing looked up and saw a tall, slender man walk in.
He was nearly 189 cm tall, wearing a red hooded sweatshirt under a white down jacket. He smiled gently upon seeing her.
The proud young master seemed to have lost a lot of weight. His two hands, brimming with food, strode in with his head held high, his posture upright and exuding an air of effortless elegance.
Lin Yujing was so surprised that she dropped her pencil on the ground. The slender cylinder rolled all the way to Chen Jingshu's feet.
"Didn't you just come back on the winter solstice?" Her nose was starting to turn red, and she wanted to get closer but was afraid that the person in front of her was a dream.
Chen Jingshu mentioned desserts she bought from a bakery, her favorite flavors, saying, "I miss my homeland so much, I couldn't wait to come back."
Since some unspoken things were revealed, Chen Jingshu no longer pretended when he looked at her; his eyes were full of deep affection. And because there was still a thin veil between them, there was an added layer of ambiguous tension.
Zhang Jiale, however, was quite annoyed. "What are you doing here?"
Chen Jingshu never confronted him directly, but instead coaxed him like a child, saying, "You've been drawing with your sister again, so here's a little cake as a reward."
Lin Yujing sighed helplessly and pouted, "Is your flight today?"
“It landed just an hour ago.” Chen Jingshu stood in front of her, rubbing his hands together, but his gaze never left her face.
"It's so late, why don't you go home first!" She gave up her chair so that Chen Jingshu could sit there, afraid that it would strain his heart.
The tall, thin man, even while seated, maintained eye contact with her. "It was on my way, so I came."
Zhang Jiale said sourly, "When did the international airport become conveniently located on the North Fourth Ring Road? This is the first time I've seen it happen in two hours."
"Little Lele, you're such a kid now. When lovers are in love, everywhere is on the way," the girl said with a smile.
Lin Yujing felt a little embarrassed and didn't know how to balance her feelings about Chen Jingshu's sudden appearance.
"Why is your face covered in lead when you're just painting?" He ignored what others were saying and just stared at her face as if he could see something amazing in it.
Upon hearing this, Lin Yujing prepared to raise her hand to wipe it, but before she could lift her hand, Chen Jingshu grabbed her elbow, saying, "Your hands are full of lead; you'll only make them darker the more you rub."
Even at such close range, the scent of ebony and sandalwood emanating from him intensified with the rising room temperature, and his scorching breath was directed directly at her nose whenever he spoke.
The worst part was that she felt Chen Jingshu's gaze move down and hover over her lips.
Sure enough, as she felt the warm, delicate fingertips caressing her cheek, she also saw Chen Jingshu's Adam's apple bobbing up and down restrainedly against his collar.
This was his emotional outburst, and her heart started racing along with it.
"Are you still painting?" Chen Jingshu asked.
When he arrived, everyone in the studio was only focused on the two of them. If they stayed any longer, they would probably disturb the other people.
She couldn't bear to look directly at Zhang Jiale's expression, especially now.
"I'm not drawing anymore. I'm going back to my dorm to write my thesis." She lowered her head and began to concentrate on packing her pencil case.
Chen Jingshu casually sat on her stool, occasionally flipping through her works and glancing at her schoolbag.
To others, it appears as a harmonious and familial atmosphere.
However, her journey back to the dormitory was not peaceful.
Zhang Jiale and Chen Jingshu squeezed her in the middle, while Yuan Shu drove behind them, shining his lights for the three of them.
"You're dragging your senior along and not letting her ride in the car. It's so cold outside, aren't you afraid she'll get sick?" Chen Jingshu preemptively threw the question at Zhang Jiale.
Zhang Jiale crossed his arms and said, "If President Chen is feeling weak, he should go home and rest. I've been picking up and dropping off my senior every day for the past year, and I haven't let her get sick."
Lin Yujing bit her lip. She couldn't please everyone, so she simply kept quiet.
Chen Jingshu never directly confronted Zhang Jiale, and then shifted the focus to Lin Yujing, saying, "Jingjing, when I was recuperating in Los Angeles, I passed by a silver jewelry store and felt that this necklace would suit you very well."
An elegant fishbone necklace with a beautiful and delicate diamond-encrusted silver ring as a pendant.
The deep red diamonds embellish the necklace with a mysterious and elegant touch.
"A birthday present?" Lin Yujing had always assumed that he was coming back on the winter solstice to celebrate her birthday, so she automatically assumed that a slightly more expensive gift would be a birthday present.
"No, it's just a necklace that suits you perfectly. There will be other gifts for your birthday," Chen Jingshu said.
Lin Yujing was somewhat flattered.
His recent change has been too rapid; she hasn't immediately switched from her usual sarcastic and cynical mode to her gentle and considerate one.
But she was certain that her heart belonged to him. "It's beautiful, I like it very much, and I also have a gift for you."
Upon hearing this, Chen Jingshu looked at Zhang Jiale with even more smugness, as if he were a victor, "The feelings of first love are always more profound."
Zhang Jiale was so angry he could barely contain himself, but he couldn't take it out on Lin Yujing, so he stopped and said, "Senior, I'm going to the lab. I'll come back to see you tomorrow."
Watching him run off into the distance, Chen Jingshu put his hands in his pockets and sighed softly, "He's still just a kid, he can't keep his composure at all."
Lin Yujing looked up at him and asked, "Didn't you make him leave in anger?"
Chen Jingshu shrugged, looking completely innocent. "He only got angry and ran away because you said you had a gift for me."
"..." That seems to be the case, but she didn't really think much about it at the time; she just subconsciously wanted to reciprocate.
Lin Yujing treasured the gift she gave to Chen Jingshu and kept it in her desk drawer in her dormitory.
So she had no choice but to take him to the dormitory again. "Senior Sister Qi went home today and doesn't live in the dormitory, so you can come and rest for a while."
Chen Jingshu was still arranged to sit on the stool in her dormitory. He was unusually cooperative and sat obediently, waiting for her to receive the gift.
She took out a bracelet she had kept hidden for a long time from a light beige velvet pouch. "It's a bracelet from Yonghe Temple. Although it's not expensive, I heard it brings good fortune and health."
He didn't even look at the bracelet, he just raised his hand and stared at her, saying, "Help me put it on."
Lin Yujing pursed her lips, and without being coy, obediently put the bracelet on Chen Jingshu's wrist. But just as she was about to pull her hand back, he suddenly grabbed her wrist.
Caught off guard, she tried to struggle, but he only tightened his grip.
"Chen Jingshu, what are you doing?"
The two were once very close together and had many intimate moments.
Even after many years, she still remembers Chen Jingshu's emotional reaction.
At this moment, it was just the two of them in the dormitory. In the quiet room, they could even hear each other's heartbeats clearly.
Chen Jingshu tugged at her for a bit, and sensing her resistance, he gently released her hand, pointed to the calendar on her desk, and asked, "You even circled it? Is my return to China very important?"
Actually, Lin Yujing wasn't entirely without reason when she made those ambiguous gestures.
She wanted to succumb to temptation, but at the same time, she felt she couldn't let their relationship become ambiguous under these circumstances.
But when it came to the truth, she didn't mince words: "Yes, it's very important."
Chen Jingshu looked at her, sighed deeply, and when he reached out to touch her again, he only touched the end of her hair before silently withdrawing his hand.
"Alright, seeing you and hearing your words is enough." Chen Jingshu then received a message from Yuan Shu urging him that his grandfather was still waiting at the old house. "You should get some rest. I'll be going now."
Lin Yujing followed him for a few steps, but Chen Jingshu stopped her in the dormitory again. "Don't see me off. I can't stay. I'll want to take you with me."
"You've been acting a bit frivolous lately."
"Jingjing, you've seen my unserious side before. This is already quite restrained."
Lin Yujing didn't dare look him in the eye anymore. "He's so annoying."
Chen Jingshu chuckled softly, and finally couldn't resist ruffling her hair. "You're so alluring, yet you won't take it any further."
"Stop spouting nonsense. I'll stand here properly and not even give you a second glance."
"Hmm. You're already standing right in front of me, is there anything else I need to do?"
Even during the ambiguous and drawn-out period, former lovers who had been intimate often carried a hint of lust.
Lin Yujing gave him a push, "Go back quickly, be careful on the road."
-
The following day, Chen Jingshu began working as usual.
After being apart for more than half a month, the people in the president's office were at a loss for what to do when they met again.
Most importantly, people who used to be serious and unsmiling started behaving like completely different people from the start of the morning meeting.
People were whispering among themselves, asking, "Is Mr. Chen going to the United States for a heart transplant?"
Chen Jingshu heard it but didn't pay any attention to it.
However, it really felt like a heart transplant, bringing back the heart that once dared to love Lin Yujing.
Around noon, he needs to take his medicine.
He called out to Yuan Shu twice, but no one answered, so he had no choice but to take his water cup to the tea room himself.
As soon as Chen Jingshu pushed the door open, he heard two girls chatting in the corner of the sofa.
"I'm so worried! Recently, a guy who looks a lot like my first love has appeared in my life. He's been pursuing me intensely, and it seems like he's planning to confess his feelings soon."
"Isn't that great?"
"The key thing is that my first love also suddenly came back to me. But he was aloof and I couldn't figure out what he was thinking."
Chen Jingshu initially felt that eavesdropping was inappropriate and planned to leave and come back later. However, upon hearing the specifics of their conversation, he inexplicably stopped in his tracks.
"So what are you struggling with?"
"To be honest, I can never forget my first love. After all, he was the first person I truly fell in love with, but he didn't make any move. But if I reject someone like my first love for him, I can't bear to give up the sincere and meticulous love I have now."
"Then why not stop worrying about it and just be with whoever confesses first? In relationships, if a girl is too proactive, she will appear passive and submissive later on."
After the two girls reached their conclusion, they got up to go back to work. As a result, they found themselves staring at each other without any warning, which was quite awkward.
"Hello, Mr. Chen." However, since it was a work setting, the two girls felt more guilty about being caught slacking off and chatting by their boss. "We'll go back to work now, goodbye."
Chen Jingshu made way for the two girls, but as one of them was about to push the door open to leave, he asked, "So, in your heart, who would you rather confess first?"
The girl paused for a moment, probably not expecting her boss, who was usually indifferent to romantic relationships, to be curious about her employee's girlish feelings. But she still replied, "Of course it's my first love, after all, the first person I've ever had a crush on."
-
Chen Jingshu sat alone in the tea room for a long time, and as soon as he went out, he saw Chu Yan.
Chu Yan seemed to have heard something funny and walked straight towards him, saying, "I just heard from Lao Ren that your little stand-in is planning to confess to Jingjing on her birthday!"
A note from the author:
Mr. Chen was busy preparing for the confession ceremony today, so he didn't have time to sing.
-
Thank you to all the little angels who voted for me or watered my plants with nutrient solution between 23:38:31 on September 13, 2023 and 23:51:19 on September 14, 2023!
Thank you to the little angels who watered the nutrient solution: 2 bottles of Adonggua; 1 bottle each of Dadanyang and Xixiuqiangwei;
Thank you so much for your support! I will continue to work hard!
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