Chapter 38 Since we made a mistake...
Rental housing.
Huang Yin was applying iodine to Li Sheng. Her hand trembled, and the cotton swab brushed against Li Sheng's wound. Li Sheng jerked backward, his body aching terribly. Tears streamed down Huang Yin's face.
Li Sheng comforted her, "Don't cry, I'm fine. I'll be fine after a good night's sleep."
Because he couldn't hear much of the outside world, he couldn't control his volume well. Afraid that his voice would frighten Huang Yin, he spoke softer and softer until the last few words were almost a whisper.
Huang Yin's kneeling pleas for mercy touched some of Wang Dapeng's friends, who couldn't bear to watch any longer. They went to find the owner of Yunji Restaurant, who, to protect his business, stopped the group and took Brother Jiang to the hospital. Before the police arrived, everyone had left.
Huang Yin's hands trembled as she murmured, "Why, why..."
Li Sheng held her hand, wanting to comfort her, but seeing Huang Yin's indistinct lip movements, he said, "Will he die?"
Huang Yin's eyes were filled with despair: "What should I do? If he dies, will we... become murderers?"
“I did it all, it has nothing to do with you,” Li Sheng said.
Huang Yin looked at Li Sheng: "No...it was me, I did it, the scissors..."
The scissors were left by Huang Yin for Li Sheng to use for cutting hair; Huang Yin had kept them in her bag. During the struggle with Brother Jiang, she pulled them out and stabbed him in the abdomen. Li Sheng rushed in, snatched the scissors from her hand, and shielded her behind him. In the three seconds of confrontation, he stabbed the other man again with the scissors, once, then twice.
Blood stained his hands.
Huang Yin said bitterly, "Why do you have to do these things for me?"
Li Sheng couldn't explain why the son of a rapist hated this crime so much. The first stab was to Huang Yin, and the second was because he genuinely wanted to kill him. He said, "He deserves to die."
After a moment of silence, Huang Yin hugged Li Sheng tightly, their necks pressed together and their arms intertwined. She said, "Li Sheng, I have a secret."
He was very close, and Li Sheng heard him clearly. He said, "I... have some too."
The next second, the two of them spoke at the same time.
Huang Yin: "I'm pregnant."
Li Sheng: "I am gay."
......
There were faint breathing sounds in the room, one breath, two breaths.
The two people who had been embracing separated. Li Sheng was taken aback, but Huang Yin remained calm and replied, "I know."
Li Sheng was a little confused: "You're pregnant?"
Huang Yin: "It was... an accident, Cao..."
She didn't want to mention that person's name: "After we broke up, I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and he... ran away."
Li Sheng felt an indescribable pang of heartache. Besides Li Jiacong, Huang Yin was his only friend in this city. She was beautiful, like a white daisy in the mountains he had seen—elegant and gentle, her innocence always suffering.
Before Li Sheng could reply, Huang Yin quickly wiped away her tears, and Zheng took his hand and said, "Let's go."
She said earnestly, "This place doesn't belong to us. Let's go to a new small city together and live a good life."
Li Sheng remained silent; he knew this place didn't belong to them. The city was bustling, brightly lit, and suffocating. People were packed together, shoulder to shoulder, making it hard to breathe.
Huang Yin lowered her head and said, "I know you're waiting for him, but will he come looking for you again?"
Has he seen how destitute you are? Do you have enough money to support your next meeting with him? And how will he treat you when you do meet?
He had probably experienced too many heartbreaking moments tonight, both physical and psychological. By now, Li Sheng was somewhat numb. There were some things he was very clear about.
He was unwilling to let go of Li Jiacong; this was unilateral on his part, and he knew it. Removing Li Jiacong from his heart would be a huge undertaking, and he knew that his endless wait, awaiting Li Jiacong's next call, would be filled with increasingly heartless words: "We were wrong."
He couldn't wait for him any longer.
How foolish I was, like a kind but desperate sheep trapped in a ditch, barely able to survive.
If the police car pulled up in front of him, what awaited him was a life clearly divided between his and Li Jiacong's. No, they were already completely different. He could never catch up with Li Jiacong.
Li Sheng slowly raised his eyes, glanced at the time on his phone. New Year's Eve was approaching. He was lost in thought about Li Jiacong, but the voice in his ear became clearer and clearer.
“We can go to places where no one ostracizes us, places where no one looks down on us. It doesn’t matter if we earn less; we’ll get through it eventually.”
A few scattered firecrackers began to sound outside. After a while, Li Sheng said, "Okay."
Just as she finished speaking, Li Sheng's phone rang. It was Li Jiacong calling. Huang Yin was about to be happy, but after glancing at it, she suddenly became a little nervous. Li Sheng answered the phone and held it close to his ear.
Li Jiacong: "You made a phone call?"
Li Sheng: "Hmm?"
Li Sheng remembered; his phone was in his pocket, and he accidentally pressed the button.
Li Jiacong: "What's wrong with you? Your voice sounds off."
Li Sheng: "Jia Cong, can we meet tomorrow?"
Upon hearing his request, the person on the other end still seemed hesitant, pausing for a moment before asking, "What's wrong? Has something happened?"
Li Jiacong could tell from Li Sheng's slow reply that something must have happened again, but what he didn't know was that Li Sheng's hearing had been impaired from the beating, and his phone had been broken, so he couldn't hear clearly.
Li Sheng kept saying, "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Li Jiacong said helplessly, "I'm not sure if I can go out to see you. Wait for my letter."
The phone call ended abruptly. Li Sheng leaned back against the headboard and took a deep breath. He glanced at Huang Yin, whose expression was worried, but Li Sheng smiled and said, "I'm leaving. I wanted to say goodbye to him."
Fireworks lit up the sky outside. The light shone on Huang Yin's face, making her look radiant and beautiful.
-
The streets were deserted, with red dust scattered on the ground.
Li Sheng waited until dark before receiving a text message from Li Jiacong, arranging to meet near Li Jiacong's house. The location was a small restaurant, but when Li Sheng arrived, he found that the restaurant was already closed.
He stood shivering in the wind. His body was always sluggish; the place where he was hit yesterday had swelled up a lot today, his wrist was swollen, and the front of his calf had been crushed by something, tearing the flesh inside and starting to get inflamed; his entire calf had become twice as thick.
He limped along the way, stopping whenever he saw a police car to make himself look less like a fugitive. In the distance, he saw Li Jiacong walking out from a sea of white.
It had been a while since I'd seen him, and Li Jiacong looked very dejected. As I approached, I saw the small restaurant was closed and cursed, "Damn, I thought I could sit for a while."
Li Sheng couldn't help but laugh, a smile playing on his lips. He reached out to hug Li Jiacong, but his raised arm wasn't very high to begin with, and Li Jiacong took a small step back, causing him to miss the hug.
Li Jiacong said, "There are people here."
Li Sheng's eyes welled up with tears, and he couldn't hold back any longer. The urge to cry out was pressing on his throat. It felt as if he had crawled forward on his knees for ninety-nine steps. With great difficulty, he managed to get close to Li Jiacong for a moment, but the other party dodged away.
Yes, they were always ashamed to be seen by others.
Li Sheng had too many unresolved feelings bottled up inside him, and in that instant, they exceeded his capacity. He took a step forward forcefully, enduring the pain in his body, and hugged Li Jiacong without a care in the world.
Li Jiacong was stunned. He knew that Li Sheng, though seemingly obedient, actually had a stubborn temper more than anyone else. He didn't struggle anymore, but just sighed. He wanted to have a good talk with Li Sheng, but before he could speak, his lips were covered by a kiss. Li Sheng turned his head and kissed him.
At the beginning of the new year, they had kissed so passionately in the street. Li Jiacong was stunned for a moment, then struggled and broke free from Li Sheng.
Li Sheng felt a sharp pain in his arms, but he still wouldn't stop and kissed him again. Soon, the taste of blood came from between their lips and teeth. Li Jiacong pushed him away forcefully, as if he had touched some wound on Li Sheng's body. Hearing Li Sheng's hiss as if he was in great pain, he finally let go.
Li Jiacong wiped his mouth: "What the hell are you doing?"
Li Sheng, his eyes red, both calm and frantic, grabbed him and said, "Come on, let's do it again."
Li Jiacong was shocked: "What?"
"Do it again."
Are you alright, Li Sheng?
Li Sheng couldn't pull him away, so he turned around and stared at him with those dark eyes, saying, "Li Jiazong, I'm leaving. If I leave here, will you still contact me?"
Li Jiacong frowned: "Where are you going?"
"Go to another city."
Although Li Jiacong wanted to end the relationship, upon hearing that Li Sheng was leaving, he couldn't help but ask, "What's different here?"
In the instant Li Sheng hesitated, Li Jiacong suddenly understood: "Damn, it's because of that guy surnamed Feng, right? He's making things difficult for you? Is there no law anymore?! Call the police, go call the police!"
Li Jiacong still had a fiery temper that would ignite at the slightest provocation. Li Sheng looked gloomy. He knew that Li Jiacong didn't understand these things. He didn't understand why these complicated and incoherent messes would come uninvited; he didn't understand that even if he remained quiet and didn't resist, he would still be relentlessly pressured; he didn't understand that the place he lived in was a quagmire that forced people to fall into it.
Resistance is futile, especially since another girl is involved. Li Sheng simply said, "It's not that simple."
A cold wind howled past his ears, cutting like a knife. Li Sheng's face looked especially pale under the streetlights. He still didn't want to leave Lijia Cong like this. He said cautiously, "We've waited... we've waited until we're in a new city. We... we can start over, if you're willing..."
Li Jiacong interrupted him, "We never even started. This relationship is abnormal, it's wrong, it shouldn't have started. It's my fault!"
Li Sheng's chest felt completely cold. After listening to Li Jiacong's words, he remained silent for a moment, his expression suddenly becoming as calm as snow, pure and white, as if he had expected it. He really thought Li Jiacong would say that.
He watched him from the cold wind. Li Jiacong dared not look into the meaning in those eyes.
Li Jiacong had never loved him. Li Sheng finally accepted this fact. A single tear slid down his cheek, and only then did he realize that he was truly frozen, with a strong metallic taste in his throat. Listening to Li Jiacong repeat "It's my fault," "I'm wrong," "I'm guilty," he took out a small gift box from his pocket, and with his frozen fingers, he mechanically and slowly placed it into Li Jiacong's hand.
He bought this for himself when he left the village, and now he is giving it to Li Jiacong.
Li Jiacong asked, "What is this?"
Li Sheng didn't say a word, nor did his gaze linger. He turned around and left silently.
Li Jiacong opened the box. Inside was a necklace with a silver cross pendant. He understood that Li Sheng's last words were:
I hope you find redemption.
—Since we made a mistake.
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