Chapter 41 Dust Life is unpredictable, no...
Li Nuo is having his last winter break of junior high school. During this break, Huang Yin forces him to attend all sorts of extra classes, and Li Sheng is responsible for picking him up and dropping him off. Every day on his way to school, Li Nuo tells his father, "I'm going crazy."
Li Sheng put the helmet on his head and said, "Go crazy after the exam."
Li Nuo: "Dad, do you have no humanity left?"
Li Sheng said, "You should cherish this opportunity, because your future job will be even more demanding."
Li Nuo scoffed.
Li Sheng got on his motorcycle and took Li Nuo to her tutoring class. Before getting off, Li Sheng said, "Your mom will pick you up tonight."
Li Nuo asked in surprise, "Huh? Where are you going?"
Li Sheng said, "I'm going out for a bit."
Li Nuo: "Eating, drinking, and having fun?"
Li Sheng patted his head: "Children shouldn't meddle in adult matters!"
Watching Li Nuo walk into the tutoring class, Li Sheng called Huang Yin. Huang Yin laughed on the other end of the phone and said, "Is Li Jiacong about to catch a fire?"
Li Sheng curled the corners of his lips: "No."
"I think he's going to cause a fire. He's always wandering around the shop. Is he really that idle?"
"They seem to have a lot of free time."
The two laughed. Huang Yin said, "You go keep him company, I'll take care of Li Nuo."
"Li Nuo's classes on odd and even days are in the morning..."
Huang Yin interrupted him, "Oh, you don't need to worry about it. I'll ask him. The child is so big now, so don't worry! In a few more years, he'll be old enough for us to know each other." She paused, then added, "When he's a little older, I'll tell him about our relationship."
Li Sheng was somewhat flustered: "I'm afraid of him... afraid he won't be able to accept it."
“There are many things in life that are hard to accept, but he should be happy to have a father who loves him like you.”
Li Sheng hesitated: "I'm afraid of losing him."
Huang Yin was slightly taken aback, realizing she had oversimplified the matter, and changed the subject: "Okay, I understand, let's not talk about this anymore, have fun!"
After hanging up the phone, Li Sheng rode his motorcycle to Li Jiazong's apartment building. Li Jiazong walked out of the complex, wearing a black trench coat and sunglasses; Li Sheng thought to himself, "Why is he dressed like a blind fortune teller?" But when Li Jiazong walked up to him, he asked, "Am I handsome?"
Li Sheng swallowed his words and said, "It's alright."
Li Jiacong: "Can you tell me the truth? What you've written is clearly ugly."
Li Sheng: "Sorry, it looks terrible."
Li Jiacong: "..." I don't really want to hear the truth.
He looked Li Sheng up and down and asked, "Why didn't you bring anything?"
Li Sheng asked, "What should I bring to the concert?"
Li Jiacong thought for a moment and said, "Indeed, you don't need to bring anything except your ears. Let's go, I'll take you on the plane."
And so, Li Jiacong drove Li Sheng to the airport. This was Li Sheng's first time flying in over thirty years. Checking in and boarding the plane filled him with excitement and wonder, but he had to maintain the composed demeanor of an adult.
Just as the plane took off, feeling a sense of weightlessness, Li Sheng gripped Li Jiacong's hand tightly.
Li Jiacong glanced at him: "Aren't you excited?"
“Ah,” Li Sheng replied curtly.
The plane entered the clouds, a vast expanse of white. A few hours later, he would appear somewhere else. Looking out the window, he suddenly asked, "Jiacong, where have you been all these years?"
Li Jiacong also rested his chin on his hand and looked outside: "There are many."
"for example?"
Li Jiacong said, "I've been to many churches abroad, such as Paris, the Vatican, Milan, and Serbia. I've been to almost every church in Europe."
Li Sheng was surprised: "You're going to church?"
Li Jiacong nodded: "Yes, that's all I want to go."
Li Sheng: "Why?"
“Do you know that strange feeling? It’s like you’re thousands of miles away from home, in another country where nobody knows you, nobody cares about your appearance or identity, and you feel extremely free,” Li Jiacong said. “Then, when I walk into those luxurious and dazzling churches, I fantasize that I will suddenly meet you at some corner, under some icon.”
That freedom was an illusion, and he walked through sixteen churches in Europe with this fantasy. He only hoped that God would have mercy on him again and let him meet Li Sheng again, just like the first time he pulled him out of the ditch, he wanted to hold his hand tightly again and lead him out.
“But I knew that the probability of meeting you abroad was a miracle, so I returned to Shiqiao.”
Li Sheng turned his face away, his eyebrows involuntarily furrowing, and his nose stinging. It took him a long time to compose himself before he lifted Li Jiacong's hand and straightened his fingers one by one.
Li Jiacong: "What are you doing?"
Li Sheng reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring, a plain white silver band. He put it on Li Jiazong's ring finger and said, "I originally wanted to give it to you when I came back, but now I want you to wear it sooner."
He extended his other hand, on which hung an identical ring on his ring finger. This was Li Sheng's traditional and stubborn little ritual; he hoped to connect himself and Li Jiacong with something, even if it was just a small silver ring binding his ring finger. Through two identical objects, he hoped they could have some kind of subtle telepathic connection.
Li Jiacong raised an eyebrow and said with ill intent, "Is this a marriage proposal?"
Li Sheng was taken aback, and Li Jiacong immediately said, "Just kidding."
He stroked the ring. This was the second time Li Sheng had given him a gift. Compared to the things he gave casually, Li Sheng's gifts were always so formal and elaborate.
Li Sheng listened to what he had just said as if he were seriously considering it, and said, "That day will come."
Life is unpredictable, isn't it?
Fourteen years, more than 5,100 days—in such a long time, he never imagined that Li Jiacong would sit next to him again. But now, they were on the same plane, going to see a concert by a singer they once loved.
As night falls and the ground gradually lights up, countless lights weave a net as the plane lands in Shanghai, a vast and bustling city: alleyways, the Suzhou Creek, and the Oriental Pearl Tower.
All of this dazzled Li Sheng.
In late December in Shanghai, Li Jiacong boldly walked hand in hand with him on the street, and no one paid any attention or watched.
At 8 PM, they entered the concert venue. Their seats were far from the stage; they could only see tiny figures. Li Jiacong rummaged in his pocket, which resembled a magic bag, pulled out a pair of binoculars, and boasted, "Five yuan a time, I'll lend it to you."
Li Sheng said dismissively, "No need to be polite, my eyesight is good."
After she finished speaking, the venue went dark and the crowd fell silent. Li Sheng felt his heart pounding. Then, countless stars appeared, converging and swirling on the stage. As soon as that clear and beautiful voice came out, Li Sheng's hair stood on end.
A speck of dust drifts on the wind.
— The wind stops, and the flowers bloom with her fragrance.
The starlight converged to form Faye Wong's face, and the melody carried a heavy sense of story, instantly taking him back to the past, back to his rural bungalow, where he saw himself sitting alone on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed); sunlight shone through the old glass, the blue-green window frame was mottled and peeling, there was no clock, no cell phone, he couldn't even remember how he spent those days.
— For a time, I only peered into the darkness.
Li Sheng felt a lump in his throat.
— This is how a speck of dust lives in the world.
His days were like dust, his youth like dust itself—humble, adrift, outside of normalcy. He tried to drift back on track, to be liked, to land on Li Jiacong's shoulder.
Li Jiacong had his arm around his shoulder, a bright silver light gleaming on his fingers. His childhood dream had actually come true; how incredible.
The incredulous person turned around, saw him, and said with a smile, "It's only just begun, why are you crying so early, my fans?"
Li Sheng held back his tears as Li Jiacong continued whispering in his ear, "I should have drawn a fan-exclusive design on your face. No wonder you were staring at someone else's face for so long, were you jealous..."
Li Sheng covered his mouth and said in a nasal voice, "Shh—don't force me to beat you up in front of Faye Wong."
Li Jiacong giggled in his arms, and Li Sheng laughed along with him, crying and laughing at the same time.
Memories drifted back with the song, and Li Sheng suddenly remembered that night. He asked, "Where did you end up the night you came to see me in 2003?"
In 2003, an unprecedented New Year's snowfall had already reached above knee-deep by midnight. Li Sheng knew that Li Jiazong had searched for him in the direction of Shiqiao, but the roads to the countryside were long gone. Where had he gone, and how would he get back?
Li Jiacong was stunned for a moment. He had almost forgotten. After thinking for a while, he said, "I went to...the hospital."
Li Sheng raised an eyebrow slightly: "What?"
Li Jiacong chuckled and sighed.
In 2003, he collapsed from the cold three kilometers away from the scene of a murder and robbery; the victim was a taxi driver.
At the time, he was crawling on the road to Shiqiao Village. The police received an emergency call and searched the vicinity of the crime scene. When they found him, Li Jiazong was disoriented. He said he had urgent business and had immediately gone to the church in Shiqiao, telling the police to go handle the case and do what they needed to do. However, the reality was that the mountain road was blocked by a vast expanse of white snow, and there was no church to be found. When the police asked him what he was doing, he repeatedly said, "Looking for someone." The police looked at each other and determined that Li Jiazong was probably frozen senseless, so they dragged him into their vehicle.
Afterwards, he cooperated with the investigation, but he knew nothing else except for the three gunshots. Later, he learned that the suspect had been arrested, a laid-off worker from the South Mine.
That night, his body was frozen stiff. He developed a high fever and was taken to the hospital. When he woke up, Chen Wen was beside him, tears streaming down her face. It was because of that night that Chen Wen became convinced that her son was possessed by a demon and spent a fortune on treatment—otherwise, what normal person would still stubbornly keep going under such impossible circumstances?
Li Sheng gripped his hand tightly, suddenly feeling a pang of heartache and remorse. He had never truly hated Li Jiacong, yet Li Jiacong had received double the punishment. Li Jiacong's smiling eyes reflected his image, and Li Sheng said, "I will never leave you again."
"I won't hide."
"I will always be there for you, anytime."
Li Jiacong smiled, his mischievous eyes seeming to say, "Really?"
Li Sheng said, "Really!"
Li Jiacong said, "Let's see how it goes in the next fourteen years."
Before Li Sheng could speak, the last song began to play on stage, signaling the end of the performance. The song was called "Dream," and Li Sheng had never heard it before.
— The wind kisses the reeds goodbye
— The road ahead is long and dusty.
Amidst the cheers and applause of the crowd, Li Sheng took a deep breath and looked at Li Jiacong. Li Jiacong also turned his head. They looked at each other, and after a moment, they naturally and passionately kissed, their voices mingling in each other's ears.
Li Jiacong asked him, "Have you ever been back to Shiqiao?"
“Go back.”
Li Sheng: "Have you heard the sounds from there?"
I've heard of it.
—The barking of dogs, the chirping of insects.
"Birdsong."
"The sound of prayer."
"Crying and screaming."
…
"The sounds of our lives can be heard."
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