Ice JOYS
It was a stuffy rainy night in the rental house.
Without any warning, Bai Luo dreamed back to the oath-taking ceremony held one hundred days after his senior year.
The scorching sun made the summer roads hot and the heat waves rolled in.
Bai Luo leaned against the ginkgo tree that was so green it looked like white. A warm breeze blew by, puffing up the girl's new white shirt.
Looking out into the distance, the continuous canopy line pushes the greenery to the horizon. The tender leaves are shimmering with a vibrant green.
According to convention, parents and children are required to attend the oath-taking ceremony together.
But she didn't know who to call?
Father?
She is separated from him by life and death.
Mother?
She is separated from me by an ocean.
Uncle?
She is separated from me by the Hong Kong River.
No one can cross the rift of time and space and step onto her lonely oath-taking platform.
A man was wandering leisurely in a telephone booth on campus.
Several figures in the pavilion were leaning on the receivers, happily sharing with their parents the joy of having no classes in the afternoon and holding a swearing-in ceremony.
Long, bright sunlight and the girl's slender figure.
Burying her cheek in the warm locks of hair, her slender white fingers touched the faded telephone keys.
Relying on vague memory, I entered eleven digits.
No one answered.
The result was as expected. There was no feeling of emptiness in my heart, but it was just mechanical and repetitive, with the empty number repeating over and over again in the dead silence.
The air was filled with the faint scent of sunshine, and at some point, the hint of mint had seeped in.
It's so cool that it makes you dizzy.
"Are you done yet? How long has it been?"
"If you don't want to answer the phone, then hurry up and leave. There are so many people waiting in line behind you."
"That's right, he has no sense of public morality at all. No wonder he didn't answer the phone. It turns out he was born by his parents, but he didn't raise them."
"Hahaha, everyone knows she's an orphan. Isn't it because she relies on connections above her that she can do whatever she wants?"
"Bo Yu from Class 8 has such a rich and powerful family, yet he doesn't skip classes as often as she does. It turns out people are different."
The man standing in the sun in a daze suddenly felt a dampness on his face.
The sun is scorching, so why are my cheeks wet?
She is not a child born by parents but not raised by them.
No, no.
In the courtyard of the teaching building, the century-old plum tree is covered with lush new leaves. When the wind blows, layer upon layer of greenery floods the area.
But it cannot withstand the bloody heart and the flooding blood in the chest.
No circulation, no flow.
The corridor was filled with the restless atmosphere of youth. Bai Luo squeezed through the crowded stairwell and arrived at the head teacher's office.
I knocked on the door, waited for permission, and pushed it open before entering. My nostrils were immediately filled with the minty scent that had penetrated my respiratory tract in the phone booth.
A noble lady sat upright in the head teacher's office chair, her dark green cheongsam fitting her figure tightly, her makeup delicate but not sharp, her eyes calm, and her every move and gesture revealed the elegance of a noble family.
"Is there something you want to say?"
The head teacher glanced at Bai Luo, his eyes behind the glasses serious.
Bai Luo stood with his head lowered, his hands tightly clutching the corners of his shirt.
"My parents can't come to the 100-day oath-taking ceremony. Can I not attend it?"
Upon hearing this, the head teacher's face darkened slightly, and after thinking for a while, he sighed.
"Bai Luo, I know your situation is special, but this conference is very important to all students. It serves as a motivation and mobilization before the college entrance examination."
The scorching sun outside pierced through the office window, falling sparsely onto the moist eyes hidden in the hair.
The lady at the side looked at the skinny girl in front of her and knocked on the table.
"Little girl, if your parents can't attend, I'd like to accompany you to the swearing-in ceremony. Do you think that's feasible?"
Bai Luo raised his eyes and met her gentle gaze. His heart warmed and tears almost burst out.
"Really? Thank you. And your children?"
The lady smiled and nodded, patting Bai Luo's shoulder gently.
"Of course, kid. My son has his daddy here."
Bai Luo stared at the lady with tears in his eyes and thanked her again solemnly.
"thank you."
Thank her for warming her eighteen-year-old heart that was shattered into glass at dusk as she fell into the endless corridor.
She didn't know that the man called "father" by the lady had never attended the auditorium of the Hundred Days Oath-taking Ceremony.
Everything was just a play carefully planned by the young man.
The eighteen-year-old boy does not regret giving up his mother's love.
The 21-year-old boy also did not regret bringing her home.
*
Late spring was drawing to a close, and the ginkgo trees along the road were already lush and shady. Inside the cramped, rickety bus, a damp, post-rainy air poured in through the windows.
Bai Luo squinted his eyes at the densely packed text on the phone screen. To become a war correspondent required courage and perseverance beyond the ordinary.
They often find themselves in the midst of bullets and use their pens and cameras to record the suffering and great changes in the world on the brink of life and death, and convey the most authentic voice to the world in the smoke of gunpowder.
After getting off the bus, Bai Luo walked home along the night alley filled with the smell of fireworks.
＿＿
After returning to the rental house with Bo Yi that night, Bai Luo returned to the school apartment the next morning to pack his luggage.
She was still accompanied by a suitcase.
The sun shone from the west to the east, illuminating the cool morning light in the room.
Bai Luo knelt in front of the suitcase to organize the odds and ends.
The bedroom window was half-closed, and the damp and musty smell of the alley wafted in, mixed with the smell of pickled cabbage from someone's household.
The morning breeze makes people feel dazed and their senses wander.
Last night on the road, she asked Bo Xi to borrow 10,000 yuan, but he didn't say a word.
As if he didn't care about money at all, he transferred 10,000 yuan directly via mobile phone.
It is accompanied by the sentence "If it's not enough, tell me and I'll transfer it to you."
Bai Luo never thought that he liked him. They were like parallel lines that had no intersection in high school, and they never met by chance in college.
We just passed each other late at night in a dilapidated alley.
Except for the day after each typhoon, when he would check the water pipes door to door on behalf of the community maintenance workers, there were no other ripples.
But now she has changed a little.
I think he is so considerate to me because he likes me.
But she had nothing to give him in return. The only thing she could give him in return was...
As soon as he thought of this, he suddenly stood up and rushed straight towards the figure curled up in the shadow of the sofa.
The sun outside the floor-to-ceiling window rose slowly, and the wind blew from west to south, ruffling the ice-blue hair of the girl standing in the sun.
"Bo Qian."
The wind is too loud and the voice is too soft.
The boy, whose headphones blocked out the outside noise, felt his vision invaded by a gentle darkness, as if someone had cut off a corner of the dusk in advance and hung it before his eyes.
His eyebrows and eyelashes were warm and he lazily lifted his eyelids.
In his perspective, the girl stood silently with her long hair hanging down, saying nothing, only her eyes fixed on him.
Why do I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable?
"What's wrong?"
He didn't take off his headphones, and his voice was hoarse from sleepiness.
The girl hid her fingers in the thin hollow sleeves of her shirt, clasping them tightly around her trouser seams, and spoke word by word.
"If you have any ideas in that regard, please tell me."
Listening carefully, one can hear a slight tremor in the voice.
The person on the sofa didn't understand what he meant, so he took off the headphones that were pressing against his temporal bone, and frowned slightly.
"What?"
The branches of the ginkgo tree at the entrance of the alley grow hunched, hanging high in the air with the silent and lonely spring breeze.
Bai Luo bit his lower lip, the courage to burn his boats brewing in his throat, and finally uttered a burning word.
"It's okay to change your bedmate to your bedmate."
“…”
Bo Xi's brows relaxed in an instant and he suddenly became happy.
It’s hard to guess what’s going on in her little head day by day.
He tilted his head nonchalantly, with his earphones hanging loosely from his earlobes.
"Should I thank you?"
"Um?"
Bai Luo's cheeks felt hot from his smiling eyes. He gritted his teeth and refused to take a single step back, but instead hurled an angry question at him.
"You can't?"
Bo Qi laughed. It was the first time in his life that someone questioned his ability. His eyes were fierce, filled with a sense of roguery, and his tone was full of ridicule that was evil to the core.
"How many times can you stand me?"
The next second, she fled.
The bedroom door slammed shut, and my shoulder blades hit the door heavily, burning my cheeks.
The living room was filled with the young man's laughter, which was clear and sarcastic, and every word hit people's eardrums.
"I'm not interested in that stuff."
The words "sexual apathy" suddenly popped up in Bai Luo's mind.
Thin, bitter, cold, and bland.
＿＿
The walls of the narrow alleys are covered with ivy, and vines cling to the iron bars of the balconies.
Last night's rain caused a chaotic mess of antennas to fall down in the alley.
When the wind blows, the colorful clothes on the clothesline flutter, emitting a faint scent of soapberries.
Bai Luo climbed the stairs in the dusk light. The moment the rusty keyhole swallowed the key, his eyelids trembled for no reason.
As I walked into the room in slippers, the luxury goods and exquisite fruit and vegetable boxes stacked on the entrance cabinet immediately caught my attention.
They are all expensive things.
What day is today?
Traditional festival?
Bo Yi's birthday?
"Wash your hands and eat."
While he was distracted, two ordinary instructions came to his ears on the wind.
"good."
The faucet in the bathroom was running, Bai Luoxuan opened the milky white porcelain bottle, and foam appeared on the palm of his hand.
The evening breeze blows the jasmine fragrance away into the twilight.
The loneliness outside the window is long, and is filled inch by inch by the figures returning home.
The two of them sat opposite each other, with the small square dining table placed quietly under the gray light.
Bo Xi prepared one dish and one piece of meat every night. After first asking about Bai Luo's dietary restrictions, he remembered that Bai Luo did not eat coriander.
From now on, whenever coriander is needed for seasoning, use chopped green onions or garlic sprouts instead.
An invisible layer of moisture hung in the air. Bo Yu stood up, his cold fingers covering the dusty glass, and pushed open the casement window.
The sky is bright.
A warm breeze curled in from the gray evening air, carrying the faint sound of TV music from the neighboring building.
"I want stable happiness"
“Being able to touch with both hands”
Dusk falls. Wind blows by the window. Food in the bowl. People around me.
The moment of "happiness" has become concrete and warm.
The two of them cannot figure out every moment of the future, but it seems that only the present is the most real.
Halfway through dinner, Bo Xi raised his eyes and spoke suddenly.
"Someone came looking this afternoon."
Bai Luo paused slightly, his porcelain-white finger bones condensed into a lustrous spot in the light and shadow.
"Okay, I understand."
Little uncle?
I clearly remember reminding him once that if he visited in advance, he must let me know in advance.
But it cannot be ruled out that he brought warmth with him without permission.
"I came with something."
The car lights on the road flashed by, illuminating Bo Xihui's obscure facial features.
Bai Luo chewed the thin piece of beef given to him in the porcelain bowl and mumbled incoherently.
"You accepted it."
It is a statement, not a question.
The gift boxes stacked at the entrance have confirmed the answer.
Bo Yu ate quickly, moving all the remaining meat on the plate into Bai Luo's bowl like a whirlwind, then put the bowl down and put down his chopsticks.
He leaned back lazily, enjoying the evening breeze.
"Don't miss it."
Then he casually asked a question.
"I think he's been waiting for you to come back. Could it be that your ex-boyfriend is asking for a reconciliation?"
The emphasis on "ex-boyfriend" was deliberately placed between the words.
"I've never been in love."
Bai Luo slowly twisted the beef with sauce.
But deep down, he admired Bo Xi's cooking skills and felt that his skills were no less than those of professional chefs.
For every meal, the meat, shrimp, beef, ribs, and chicken wings were mostly transferred from him to her bowl. Over time, she felt that she was getting fat because of him.
He added vaguely.
"He is my uncle."
But Bo Xi clearly froze for a moment.
Amidst the faint sound of the wind, she could clearly hear a sneering laugh emanating from his throat.
Stinging like ice, with a dull and sarcastic tone.
The sneering meaning is clear and does not linger on the previous sentence, but focuses on the three words "little uncle".
"Then he is an old cow eating young grass."
In the bluish-gray twilight, Bo Xi felt several degrees colder, with a sarcastic smile on the corner of his lips.
Since they started living together again, they were used to meeting each other at night. Apart from a few words during meals, they were silent the rest of the time.
His silhouette was cold and sharp under the evening light. Bai Luo only felt the heavy pressure, but could not understand the origin of the sarcastic tone.
Her mind is hidden in darkness, never letting anyone see the truth.
He was covered with thorns and no one could get close to him.
Even if two people share a bed and the same quilt, they are still the most familiar strangers.
It was truly strange. Completely strange.
They knew nothing about each other, only knowing that the other person was sinking on the same path of self-degradation as themselves, but each was burdened with different reasons for their failure.
After swallowing the last bite of rice, Bai Luo continued what he was saying.
"Why don't you think I'm the young grass eating the old cow?"
"You're not blind."
Bo Yu stood up, picked up the dishes and chopsticks, and sneered before stepping into the kitchen.
Gray, hazy light silently seeped in from the kitchen window.
Bai Luo looked at the tall figure in the darkness and curled his lips silently.
He is unhappy.
So what is his relationship with my uncle?
Bai Luo collected her pajamas and went into the bathroom. As agreed with Bo Yi, she showered after meals, while he usually showered before bed.
The warm water waves flow over every inch of your skin, bringing you comfort.
Her toiletries all have a fresh jasmine scent.
Before moving in, there was only a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo on the sink.
After she moved in, all kinds of bottles and jars were displayed on the tables and in the cabinets.
She told Bo Xi that he could use her bath products when washing his hair, taking a bath, and doing laundry.
He really listened.
Every time before going to bed, Huihui could smell the faint scent of jasmine on his body.
The low-ceilinged bedroom was filled with a lingering scent of jasmine, and even the cat was not immune, its fur stained with the delicate fragrance.
After taking a bath, Bai Luo washed his underwear and crumpled up the large pieces of clothing into a ball and threw them into the drum of the washing machine.
Because her clothes were thin and she was afraid of wasting electricity, she walked under the moonlight, looking for Bo Qi's figure.
On the open-air balcony, the young man sat dejectedly on a double rocking chair, the cigarette between his fingers flickering in the wind.
"Bo Yi, do you have a shirt to wash?"
Zhanmo's five fingers touched the rocking chair and rocked it for him.
The person leaning lazily on the backrest raised his eyes irritably.
The smoke between the fingers slowly dissipated, blurring the gaze between the two people.
Bai Luo thought he didn't hear it and waved away the smoke that was rushing around in the mist.
The night was rolling in. Her serious eyes fell into his gray pupils.
"Do you have any shirts to wash?"
The hand hanging in the air was suddenly pulled down by the wrist and playfully led to the bottom of the hem of the sweatshirt.
"This one needs to be washed."
The late spring evening breeze was out of control, making the air hot.
Bai Luo struggled with his wrist bones, but he was pulled closer by him.
The thumb stroked the soft flesh on the inside of the wrist, ambiguous and teasing, but also threatening.
"Aren't we going to take a shower together? Take it off."
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”
“…”
I have indeed seen it.
＿＿
One morning, she accidentally left her laptop in the bedroom and did not return to the rental house until the sun had moved away.
Suddenly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, I gently pushed the faded paint door of the bathroom with my slender fingers, and the old wooden hinges creaked.
Their eyes met through the misty vapor.
No one was prepared. Everyone was stunned. Their brains completely short-circuited.
No one expected such an absurd encounter to happen in a dilapidated rental house, in a cramped bathroom, at noon under the scorching sun.
Bai Luo's cheeks flushed instantly, and he wished he could hide in a crack in the ground...
Bo Xi's innocence throughout his life was gone just like that. He was completely seen through and had nowhere to hide.
＿＿
Clouds pressed overhead, the moonlight flickered, and the balcony's iron railings were covered in lush green creepers, hanging high above the desolate, damp twilight.
"Are you wearing anything else underneath?"
Bai Luo's facial features looked bewildered under the gray night light.
"You'll know if you take it off and take a look."
There was a sense of mischievous pride and a sense of control in the throat, but it was also mixed with a barely noticeable softness.
Bai Luo seemed to have struggled for a while, and his other hand, which was close to the air, suddenly covered his fierce and playful eyes.
The hand that was holding the wrist bone was hot, and it lifted the hem of the sweatshirt directly, reaching into the unknown without hesitation.
The palm of my hand felt hot and hard.
Not wearing!
It is empty sincerity.
The gray-blue breathing was sometimes light and sometimes heavy, and Bai Luo wanted to withdraw his hand.
The next second, he was sanctioned.
Bo Xi used his other hand to press hard on the back of her hand through the fabric.
The burning sensation is tingling and the numbness is tingling.
"Bo Lan!"
Bai Luo was a little annoyed, but he didn't dare to remove his hand from his eyelids.
The man with his eyes covered curled his lips lazily and asked in a shameless tone.
"Don't you like it?"
Bai Luo was well aware of his temper. The more he went against him, the more stubborn he would be.
"I like it."
Squeezing out words through gritted teeth.
In the twilight of the night, Bo Xi slowly loosened his grip. Bai Luo hastily pulled away, his hand covering his eyes slipping away.
Escaped in panic.
It felt like I was holding a fire in my palms, and I couldn't cool down my burning breath.
The piercing light flooded into the black eyes again, and was penetrated by a gust of wind, which shattered the heat accumulated in the heart.
The hand that grabbed her wrist and squeezed out a thin layer of sweat had never grabbed the moon before. It always grabbed the shadow.
Now, what he was holding was the girl's wrist bone, her living flesh and blood, his light, his rebirth.
The darkness was endless, and light appeared in the boy's palm.
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