Pagma
The heavy rain made the winter night scorching.
The person in pajamas was doused with cold misty water.
It makes me feel cold all over.
The streets were deserted, with only the rain flowing recklessly.
She walked with an umbrella, stepping deep and shallow in the puddles, but her thoughts drifted back to a typhoon night in the summer of her sophomore year.
Similar rain, similar cold, similar silence.
＿＿
It was a dangerous night when the typhoon passed through Hangzhou and Hong Kong in 2016.
The wind blew the rain into diagonal lines, and the puddles under the street lights in the alley were of varying depths, and the accumulated water reflected the lonely figure of the young boy.
He stopped in front of the mottled door of the grocery store and bought the last bag of cat food.
The proprietress took another look at him. The scratch on his temple had not yet scabbed over and was purple.
It must have been left behind in a fight that no one knew about, or it must have been accidentally injured while chasing a cat.
Wearing a white shirt, he leaned against the old wall with peeling paint, without any care.
The wind and rain wet the boy's flamboyant silver-gray hair, and under his sharp brows, his eyes were cold and damp.
But he held a big umbrella for a few stray cats and dogs, with a mint cigarette between his fingers, and watched them quietly scramble to share the food bag.
It happened that Bai Luo worked part-time until late at night. He was exhausted and holding an umbrella as he walked in Nanfeng Alley, where the dark old brick walls on both sides had deformed the street lights. Suddenly, he heard the melody of an old song.
"One person holding an umbrella"
"One person wipes tears"
“It’s so tiring to be alone”
She felt lost, and for a moment it seemed as if she had seen something from another world.
In the shadows at the corner, the boy took a puff of cigarette, and the sparks burst into warm colors for a moment, illuminating half of his pale fingers, but were immediately swallowed back by the night.
When the ashes were hanging precariously, he suddenly raised his wrist and watched the ashes fall into the rain puddle and shatter silently.
The dark corner was covered with moss, and his gray shadow huddled in a mess, waiting for a clear sky that was destined to be absent.
The night is intoxicating, the dim light makes my eyes tired.
The way she looked at him was the same as the old lady in the residential building.
Watch how a hopeless boy rots away inch by inch.
Watch how a down-and-out, irritable mad dog retracts its thorns in front of stray cats and dogs, and holds up a little warmth in its palms.
On a cold night in 2016, a typhoon swept across the night sky, carrying the hustle and bustle of Hangzhou and Hong Kong. He was just a drop of tenderness among thousands of raindrops, accidentally falling on the edge of the food bowl.
But when the light passed by on a rainy day, the boy's bones seemed to be covered with a thin layer of silver, making him look clear, aloof, reserved and noble.
It shouldn't be trapped in a damp dark corner, nor should it be more dilapidated than a dilapidated narrow alley.
"Want to die?"
The figure squatting against the wall caught her sharp glance, which was filled with icy disgust.
He stared straight at her beautiful eyes that reflected the lights of the world but refused to accept any warmth.
"Get out!"
The vicious threats and warnings were drowned in the smell of smoke.
But the warning was not out of malice, but to urge her not to stay outside for too long and to go home quickly.
Typhoon night.
The stray dog covered in thorns holds an umbrella for stray dogs and cats, protecting the girl from wind and rain.
Eventually, a ray of sunshine will penetrate his rusty soul.
Revealing a living, hot heart beneath all the sharp edges.
＿＿
The late-night rain had dimmed the doorplate of the old clinic. Bai Luo stepped on the puddles and ran through two streets and alleys, and found a pharmacy light that was always on between the brick walls of the old city.
She clutched the medicine bag tightly and walked back on the slippery sidewalk, taking one deep step and one shallow step.
His trouser legs were splashed with mud and his hair was wet with rain, but he had no time to care.
When I returned to the rental house and pushed the door open, the damp cold air collided with the warm yellow light in the house.
Bo Xi curled up on the sofa, the quilt piled up in a mess, and the heat on his forehead was scorching.
"Hey. Take some medicine."
She leaned over and called softly.
But the person on the sofa had a frown on his face and could only mumble vaguely from his throat, as the high fever took away his strength to swallow.
Bai Luo bit his lip, unscrewed the cap of the fever-reducing medicine bottle, and the pills fell into his palm.
Stare for a moment, then take a sip of warm water and lightly touch the tip of your tongue to confirm the temperature.
It’s not hot anymore.
Fang lowered his eyelashes and leaned forward, pressing his lips close to her pale lips.
My wrist was suddenly tightened with a force that was almost spasmodic, as if I had grabbed a life-saving straw in a nightmare.
Bai Luo let him hold on to him, and pressed the tip of his tongue containing the pill between his teeth, slowly pouring warm water and the pill into him.
The pill hit the back of her tongue, and the bitter taste filled her, but she froze in place, fearing that she would swallow it incorrectly.
She didn't pull away half an inch until her throat moved slightly, and her soft lips pressed against the corners of his lips, absorbing all the remaining water.
Repeat this three times until all the pills are gone.
Bo Xi's brows were still furrowed. Bai Luo gently stroked the center of his brows with his thumb, and then he felt his heart beating violently.
The sound of heavy rain filled my ears, and the warmth of his thin lips remained in my palms.
Burning, damp, and weak with illness.
Even a little familiar!
The lips were strikingly similar to the one that had taken her first kiss.
The texture of the twin brothers' lips is exactly the same.
As long as she keeps her mouth shut, the secret will remain buried deep in her heart forever.
Bo Xi's body temperature gradually dropped and his breathing became steady.
Bai Luo lowered his eyes and stared at his sleeping face, whispering softly.
"Everything will be fine."
You will walk out of Nanfeng Lane.
Will survive the rainy night.
Will wait for the dawn and the light.
They will grow towards the light and give birth to a rolling sun in the dark night.
*
Bai Luo and Aisha were picked up by Concubine Lu in a sports car.
The sports car parked at Ginkgo Avenue in the university town. When they saw that the friend Aisha mentioned was Bai Luo, the three people in the car were stunned.
"Sister Fei."
Aisha greeted her warmly.
Concubine Lu agreed with a smile, and placed a gentle touch on her cheek with her fingertips.
"Our Sasha is beautiful again."
The corner of my eye fluttered like a butterfly, landing on a quiet figure on one side.
In high school, she had seen Bai Luo many times. His hurried back when he skipped classes. His silent silhouette in the corner of the internet cafe. His cold profile in countless dusks.
At that time, there was no chance to chat, and the other party had no intention of integrating into their circle.
In addition, I quit my part-time job at the bar after only a week, so it became increasingly difficult to find any interactions in the future.
Last night, a torrential downpour soaked the city, and sports cars sped through, flooding the streets.
There were four women and one man in the car.
Concubine Lu was so focused on the steering wheel that she couldn't talk. Shen Cisi, sitting in the passenger seat, had been dozing off since the car reached the Hangjiang Bridge, hugging the pillow.
Aisha focused on replying to her boyfriend's messages, and they shared every detail of their day with each other.
The girl next to her kept her head down and remained silent. It was unclear whether she was in a daze or was worried and unhappy.
Bai Luo was always quiet and didn't like to talk much. He rested his forehead against the hazy mirror of the car window, staring at the neon reflection of Hangzhou Port shattering and reforming on the glass.
Under your feet is the vast and endless river.
In a split second, the sound of a cell phone notification drowned out the Cantonese song in the car.
Bai Luo glanced at the message on the screen.
[Did you kiss me yesterday?]
"Cough cough cough~"
The car was filled with damp air. Her throat choked.
He actually remembered all those awkward, trembling kisses filled with her panic.
But he allowed her to clumsily take care of him and let her turn bitter medicine into sweetness.
She didn't know when she fell asleep last night. When she opened her eyes again, it was already four o'clock and the sun was setting in the west.
The rented house was deserted. Bo Yi had long since disappeared.
She thought the high fever would erase all his memories.
But now, he actually asked even though he knew the answer!
[I thought you didn't remember.]
Next second.
[The person is not dead, he is still breathing and feeling.]
“…”
I really think his mouth is poisonous.
Just as I was about to turn off the screen, another line of words appeared.
Where are you now?
[On the way to dinner with friends.]
[Don't drink.]
“…”
The bleak New Year's Eve comes to mind.
A low, hoarse voice, a blurry figure, a warm embrace...
The answer takes root in the heart.
It definitely couldn't be my uncle. Given his style, he would just take her back to his residence directly.
Just as I was about to reply with a "OK", the other party's message came crashing down.
[Did you hear that?]
“…”
Didn't hear it.
The dim yellow street lights penetrated the car window and fell into the eyes of the girl leaning against the window, reflecting the neon lights but without any warmth.
Bai Luo seemed to notice something and slowly turned his head, a cold and sad look piercing his eyes.
Between the two of them, Aisha lowered her head and replied to the message with a smile on her lips.
Unaware that a silent battle was brewing in the cold silence of the back seat.
Like waves, one tide is higher than the other.
Bai Luo pursed his lips, half of his face hidden in the shadows.
She had no impression of the girl, but she didn't know where the hostility came from.
The sports car finally stopped in a neon-lit alleyway from the millennium.
The food stall is too old, and damp mold is seeping out from the peeling paint on the walls.
Under the dim tungsten light, small advertisements are piled up layer by layer, recruiting, missing persons, wanted notices, the words are all faded and damaged.
The proprietress obviously knew Shen Cisi. She spoke in a familiar tone when she greeted him and chatted with him with a smile.
The reserved box was already crowded with people, and Bai Luo quietly stood a few steps behind them.
When the door was opened, the boiling noise suddenly stopped.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time."
"Hurry and find an empty seat."
When Bai Luo appeared in everyone's sight, whispers broke out one after another.
"Fuck, why is she here?"
"Whose friend? Can she play with us?"
"If you don't want to play with us, are you going to play with the rich sponsor?"
His words became increasingly out of control and more and more outrageous.
"Don't you think her moans on the gold master's bed are charming and beautiful?"
The next second, there was a crisp sound of glass breaking.
Someone crushed the glass with the heel of his palm.
Fragments flew everywhere, but miraculously there was no scratch on his knuckles.
The floor-to-ceiling window on the left side of the box reaches the ceiling, and outside the window is the decaying night scene of the narrow alley.
The young man leaning against the moonlight window looked extremely imposing.
Everyone looked in the direction of the voice, and where their gazes converged, Bo Xi's presence was almost glaring.
A natural born protagonist.
His silver-gray hair was fiery, and he casually wore a retro denim sweatshirt, playing with a lighter in one hand.
The glass fragments caught fire from time to time.
"It's quite boring."
The indifference in the words doesn't know whether it refers to the person being bored or the dinner being boring.
Shen Cisi, who had not yet sat down, took in everything, including the few words that some people muttered.
No wonder Bo Xi feels bored when he talks so much to girls all day long. Even he himself is extremely fed up with it.
He swept his cold eyes over the few people who spoke rudely, and warned them in a suppressed voice.
"Watch your mouth, you don't need to be taught how to respect others."
When he turned to look at Bai Luo, there was a hint of interest in his eyes.
"Just sit anywhere."
It is rare to find someone who is protected by his brothers twice.
＿＿
Bai Luo directly informed Shen Cisi about his resignation.
At that time, his brows were slightly frowned and his eyes were full of surprise.
A hard-to-find job came to an abrupt end after only one week of part-time work.
After all, he didn't invite people by himself, so he called Bo Xi and asked him what he thought about Bai Luo's resignation.
Bo Yi just said two words casually.
"Let her."
It seemed light and casual, but it threw the decision back into his hands.
Shen Cisi was decisive and settled Bai Luo's salary without any delay.
When he met Bo Yi the next day, his tone was playful.
"Why did you protect her that day?"
The other person was just leaning on the sofa, with a half-smoked cigarette between his fingers.
"Here comes the fun."
Another light-hearted remark.
Chen Ci Si has always known that he is a man who plays with the world.
Sometimes, the evil in one's blood comes out without any concealment.
In the abandoned unfinished building of the school, he witnessed freshmen being bullied by their classmates.
He could have stayed out of it and watched from the sidelines, but he went against the trend and deliberately provoked trouble, beating a group of bullies into a miserable state.
Sometimes, he is merciful and like a savior.
In the pouring rain, I squatted in front of a restaurant on campus. The food was right in front of me, but I had no interest in eating it. I just held an umbrella to shelter a shivering stray dog from the rain.
Half of my shoulder was soaked and felt freezing cold.
Students coming in and out of the restaurant all held up their mobile phones, their cameras aimed at the amazing sight in the rain.
I don’t know if he was in a very good mood or a very bad mood, but he suddenly looked up at the sky, smiled widely, and raised two fingers to make a “yeah” gesture.
This caused a group of girls to scream shyly.
Both good and evil have been taken to the extreme, making it difficult for people to tell whether those who play with the world are truly crazy or just pretending to be crazy.
Sometimes, depravity is like a mad dog that everyone despises.
Chen Cisi knew the secret of Bo's family.
On the first snowy night of his freshman year, his mother arrived at Hangzhou Port and threw a cold decision before him.
——She lived with her sister from then on and gave up on him.
When Shen Ci Si and his friends found him, he was emitting a strong smell of tobacco, his whole body was covered with a sickly grayish-white color, and his stubble was growing in a disorderly manner.
A pair of eyes hidden under the brim of the black hat only had one word written on them: "death".
His parents, who had accompanied him for eighteen years in the name of love, confessed when the dust settled on the college entrance examination: they had divorced many years ago and started new families.
Who can withstand such a blow that feels like the sky is falling?
The favored son of heaven fell from the altar overnight.
Youth is a gamble that refuses to lose. Teenagers aged seventeen or eighteen dare to bet the sky and the earth, but they fail miserably in front of their parents.
The young man who dared to carry the world on his shoulders and smiled boldly even if he got broken and bloody is gone forever.
Only an "indifferent" shell remains, which can no longer shine.
And his major happened to be drug control.
He gave his life to his country.
No one could save him.
So when Bo Yi got angry for a girl for the first time on New Year's Day, he silently hoped that the girl could save him and pull him out of the eternal night.
In the end, my expectations were dashed.
No one cares, they just come for fun.
On a whim.
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