Chapter 14 To Do or Not to Do [Romance]
Tan Chen took the initiative to break the silence in the car. His voice remained calm and steady, as if the thrilling confession just now was just ordinary conversation.
"How about stir-fry for dinner tonight? Why don't you look up some restaurants?"
Xu Nianyi immediately shook her head, "I'm a little tired and want to go back to the guesthouse to rest. I brought a self-heating hot pot, so I can just soak in it when I get back."
She desperately needs a completely quiet space where Tan Chen is not present.
Tan Chen glanced at her, his gaze seemingly able to pierce through her feigned composure.
But he didn't insist, he just nodded. "Okay, then eat something yourself, don't overthink it, get some rest."
How could I not overthink it?!
Back in her cozy room, which belonged only to her, Xu Nianyi could finally breathe a long sigh of relief.
After taking a hot shower to dispel the chill, she took out a Haidilao self-heating hot pot from her luggage, walked to the bay window in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, and placed the hot pot on the small tea table.
Remove the plastic seal, open the lid, unpack the ingredients and base, put in the heating pack, add mineral water, and close the lid.
She sat on the Japanese-style futon cushion by the tea table, hugging her knees, listening to the self-heating pot with its lid on making a gurgling sound, and white steam slowly rising from the vent.
Her thoughts, like the wisps of white smoke, drifted chaotically between her distant student days and the present.
She really couldn't understand Tan Chen's logic.
They keep saying they don't like me, but they want to stay by my side?
guard?
What's this?
Should I be a selfless protector of flowers?
Does she need this inexplicable protection?
If you don't like him, why would you want him haunting you and staying by your side?
His handsome face, which attracted many suitors, and his surprisingly attentive and considerate nature were the biggest obstacles preventing her from starting a relationship and getting to know other guys!
With such a "benchmark" standing beside her, how could she possibly be interested in other ordinary men?
Even if you happen to fall for someone, with a male friend whose relationship is ambiguous and who is extremely handsome silently protecting you, the new relationship will definitely fall through!
Frustrated, she tore open the disposable chopsticks and unconsciously gnawed at the smooth tips with her teeth, leaving several clear teeth marks.
But even after chewing the chopsticks until they were worn bare, she still couldn't figure out what Tan Chen's theory of protection was all about!
Confusion, doubt, and frustration at his blunt remark that "it's not love"—all these emotions intertwined, leaving her desperately needing outside help to analyze this messy emotional turmoil.
She grabbed her phone and made a video call to her former close friend from work, Xi Yingying, who was nicknamed "female sea queen".
The call connected, and immediately a beautiful face appeared on the screen, eating, with her familiar apartment view in the background.
"Niannian! My darling! How was your trip~" Xi Yingying's voice carried her unique, lazy yet affectionate tone, "I'm so envious of your life! I watched your vlog, Xinjiang looks like so much fun, I absolutely have to go there during my annual leave this year, and you have to share all your exclusive travel tips with me then!"
The two chatted warmly about Xu Nianyi's travel experiences over the past few days. Xu Nianyi briefly mentioned Su Xiaoxiao and Wang Yue, and Xi Yingying immediately launched into a tirade of disdain and criticism of the two on the other end of the screen, adding a motherly admonition: "Niannian, you're just too trusting! When you're out and about, you absolutely must be more careful. Don't trust any strangers easily. You can only know a person's face, not their heart, blah blah blah..."
Then, she suddenly changed the subject, a knowing, gossipy smile spreading across her face. She leaned closer to the screen and whispered, "Hey, what's the relationship between that junior high classmate you mentioned who helped you drive? I saw him in the car modification video before. I thought he was just a mechanic, and he was so handsome! That cool, aloof air, that high nose bridge, those sexy thin lips. I was even thinking that if he weren't so far away in Xinjiang, I'd definitely try to add him to my 'fishpond' (a metaphor for keeping him as a fish). I never imagined he'd be my best friend's fish!" In the video, Xi Yingying raised an eyebrow mischievously, her eyes brimming with the excitement of gossip.
"Sigh..." Xu Nianyi seemed to have found an outlet, letting out a long sigh, her little face falling down.
She put down her chopsticks, hugged her pillow, and told Xi Yingying in detail about Tan Chen's earth-shattering declaration of protection on the snow-capped mountaintop that evening, as well as the past events from junior high school that she had only recently learned about.
She desperately needed this experienced playboy, who had slept with countless men, to help her analyze what Tan Chen was really up to.
Xi Yingying's eyes widened as she listened on the other end of the phone.
She touched the decorations on her newly done manicure and said frankly, "Goodness! I've been in the dating scene for so many years and have seen all kinds of weirdos, but this kind of strange, affectionate yet awkward man is truly the first time I've ever heard of one."
Then they began to seriously help with the analysis.
"Logically speaking, he definitely likes you, there's no doubt about that. But if he likes you but doesn't pursue you, and only silently protects you, aside from the possibility that he's out of his mind, there are generally only three possible reasons."
Xu Nianyi sat listening attentively like a well-behaved child.
"First," she held up one finger, "he felt that you already had a boyfriend or someone you liked, and he didn't want to steal your love and ruin your happiness, so he could only endure the heartache and play the devoted second male lead, silently protecting you from the sidelines."
Xu Nianyi immediately denied it, "That's impossible. During the past ten days or so, I haven't had any contact with any men. Besides, I dared to go out with him, a guy. I'm obviously single!"
“Okay, let’s rule that out.” Xi Yingying held up a second finger, her expression turning serious. “Then the second reason might be his inferiority complex; he feels he’s not good enough for you.” She paused, then asked carefully, “You just said his family is probably well-off, right? If it’s not due to financial or family reasons, then the only thing left is physical.”
Suddenly, as if she had thought of something, she raised her voice sharply, her tone filled with exaggerated terror.
"Oh my god! Niannian! Is he impotent?! I'm telling you, this won't do! Absolutely not! This is a lifelong matter concerning your happiness for the rest of your life! If there's a problem with the physical attributes, no matter how outstanding everything else is, it's all for nothing! You can't be soft-hearted about this!"
"Pfft! Cough cough cough!" Xu Nianyi was drinking mineral water when Xi Yingying's incredibly bold guess made her cough violently, her face instantly turning red, whether from choking or embarrassment, it was hard to tell.
She quickly gulped down several large mouthfuls, finally managing to catch her breath. Her eyes welled up with tears from coughing.
She retorted, both embarrassed and annoyed, "Can't you think a little healthier! That's too wild! How could that be! No way! I think he's in great shape, so strong, and so good at skiing! Besides, didn't you say that you should look at a man's nose? You said he has a high nose bridge, so men like that are usually... aren't they usually pretty good in bed?" Her voice trailed off at the last few sentences, almost inaudible unless you listened closely.
"Knock knock knock!"
She had barely finished speaking when a knocking sounded on the door.
As if trying to evade the topic, she quickly told Xi Yingying, "Wait a minute! Someone's knocking on the door!"
Then, in a flurry, I put down my phone, slipped on my slippers, ran to the door, took a deep breath, and finally opened it.
Standing outside the door was Tan Chen.
He must have just come back from outside; even in the warm corridor, there was still a chill emanating from him.
This made Xu Nianyi, who was only wearing a thin short-sleeved pajama, shiver slightly.
In Tan Chen's eyes, Xu Nianyi was a different person at this moment.
She wore a soft, comfortable white cotton pajama set, with lace trim on the collar and cuffs. Her hair was casually pulled back into a loose bun, with a few unruly strands falling onto her neck. Her skin appeared exceptionally fair under the indoor light. Perhaps from eating hot pot, her cheeks were flushed, like a ripe peach. Her usually bright eyes now looked watery and misty, giving her an overall look that was both innocent and alluring.
"I'm sorry," Tan Chen said with a hint of guilt. "I just got back and I'm still chilly. I should have waited a bit longer and come over when I was warmer. But I was worried the food would get cold."
He handed me a clean takeout bag. "Here you go. When we had hot pot yesterday, you mentioned that you'd been eating too much meat these past few days and it was a bit greasy, so you wanted some refreshing vegetables. The restaurant I just ate at had your favorite dry-fried green beans, so I packed some for you."
He looked at her slightly trembling shoulders, took a half step back, and kept his distance.
"I'm too cold, you should close the door and go inside, don't catch a cold."
"Oh, okay, thank you. You should go to sleep early too."
Xu Nian's mind was still replaying the suggestive words she had exchanged with Xi Yingying earlier, such as "no" and "powerful." She was so ashamed that she didn't dare to look at Tan Chen again. She took the bag, mumbled a reply, and quickly closed the door.
Like a startled rabbit, she ran and jumped back to the tatami by the window, grabbed her phone, and whispered angrily to Xi Yingying, who was watching the show on the other side of the screen!
"Oh no, Yingying! Not only can you not talk about people during the day, you can't talk about them at night either! What a terrible coincidence!"
"Calm down, calm down!" Xi Yingying laughed heartily on the other end of the line. "What's wrong? He came to see you so late at night, has he finally changed his mind and is going to confess his feelings?"
"No!" Xu Nian retorted, her face flushed. "He just... he was on his way after dinner and remembered what I said yesterday, so he brought me some food." She opened the package, and inside was a transparent plastic takeout box containing her favorite dish: stir-fried green beans, which were dry, fragrant, and spicy.
This sudden and meticulous concern only made her more flustered.
"Wait a minute!" Xi Yingying exclaimed as if she had discovered something amazing, squinting as she carefully examined Xu Nianyi on the screen. "You opened the door for him dressed like that?"
"Ah!" Xu Nianyi belatedly screamed, covering her face in despair. "It's all your fault! You kept saying all that nonsense! My mind went blank, and I even forgot to put on a coat before going out! Oh no, I'm so embarrassed, waaaaah!"
"No, sister, your focus is really different." Xi Yingying rubbed her forehead, her tone filled with a helpless disappointment.
"Didn't you notice? Just now, you were wearing a lace nightgown, your hair was messy, your face was flushed, your eyes were watery, you looked so innocent yet alluring, completely defenseless. Even I, a girl, wanted to pounce on you! This guy who's protected you for so many years, and he was completely unmoved, that's so abnormal! Now I'm even more convinced that he's impotent! I advise you to give up as soon as possible, don't waste your time on him!"
"Xi! Ying! Ying! If you keep doing this, I'm really going to stop talking to you!" Xu Nianyi interrupted her loudly, both embarrassed and annoyed, her ears turning bright red.
"Alright, alright, I won't discuss these adult topics with an innocent girl like you." Xi Yingying knew when to stop, took a bite of the apple in her hand, and got back to the point, "If you insist on not admitting that the most reasonable explanation is that he has a physical problem, then there is only the third and last possibility left."
She paused, her tone becoming slightly more serious. "That is, he likes you so much. To the point that he's afraid of losing you."
Looking at the confused Xu Nianyi on the screen, she asked, "Haven't you heard of a relationship called 'more than friends, less than lovers'? Some people care too much, are too afraid that once they cross that line and become lovers, they might lose even the friendship if the relationship breaks down one day, and completely lose the right to stand by your side. So, they would rather stay in the safe zone of best friend and protector forever than risk taking the next step."
Xu Nianyi fell silent.
This explanation seems to make some sense.
“Of course,” Xi Yingying changed the subject again, with her characteristic playfulness, “Personally, I still think the second speculation about his impotence is more logical and reasonable. Think about it, he started like this in junior high school? How old was he back then? What did he know? At most, it was just a budding crush during puberty. Where did such complicated psychological activities come from? Most likely, he discovered that he had some unspeakable secret back then, so he pushed you away in that way.”
"Xi! Ying! Ying!" Xu Nianyi yelled at her again, her face flushing slightly, and the heat that had just subsided returned. "I'm hanging up! I'm ignoring you!"
"Tch, they're killing you after you've served your purpose!" Xi Yingying knew she needed some time to think about these reasons herself.
The room fell silent again.
Xu Nian finished her self-heating hot pot and stir-fried green beans in small bites, cleaned up the trash, and then lay down on the soft bed facing the snow scene.
With her eyes open, the three reasons Xi Yingying had analyzed kept replaying in her mind like a revolving lantern.
The reason that he has a partner has been denied, but in case Tan Chen misunderstands something, his subsequent schedule can imply that he is single.
Although Xi Yingying spoke with great conviction about her poor health, deep down she didn't want to believe it.
The remaining reason is the fear of losing something because you like it so much. It seems to have some merit, but it also feels a bit far-fetched and off.
After thinking for a long time, she became more and more confused, so she simply pulled the blanket up and covered her head.
"Forget it! I don't want to think about it anymore!"
She has never been one to overwork herself; if she can't figure something out, she'll put it aside for the time being—that's her philosophy of life.
Anyway, the time has come, and if Tan Chen really wants her to know, he will naturally tell her.
Moreover, she thought somewhat like an ostrich, if he really confessed his feelings for her right now, she would probably be even more at a loss and wouldn't know how to face him.
To be honest, my current vague feelings for him seem to stem more from the confusion and resentment I felt towards him during my student days, my desire for an answer, and my appreciation for his outstanding appearance.
After removing all those factors, she herself couldn't say whether she still truly liked him as a person.
She still needs time to understand his personality, his past, and his true feelings.
Well then, that's settled.
Continuing to walk together as friends seems to be the most comfortable and stress-free state right now.
Amidst her chaotic thoughts, Xu Nianyi gradually drifted off to sleep.
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