Chapter 1
Ming Dynasty Wang Ao's "Zhenze Changyu·Yinyun" says: "Gong is the upper level, Shang is the lower level, Jiao is for entering, Zheng is for rising, and Yu is for leaving."
(1) Gong, Shang, Jiao, Zheng, and Yu
My name is Shang Shisan, and her name is Yunniang. She is the most famous geisha in the capital.
The kind that sells art but not body.
As for me, my current identity is Yunniang's personal maid and thug.
In fact, most of the time I am more like a servant to her.
Serve her tea and water, and protect her from those nasty men who come to harass her.
I originally applied for the role of Yunniang's bodyguard. After all, a bodyguard's income is more than three times that of a servant girl like me.
Yunniang's maidservant sat in front of the hall, carefully examining my plump face. She smirked and said, "You're so delicate and tender, yet you still want to be a thug? Go be a punching bag."
After saying that, she kicked me out of the room and I happened to fall into Yunniang's warm embrace.
When I looked up, I saw Yunniang's incredibly beautiful face.
Just like that, when we met, I became Yunniang's personal maid.
"After all, you're short, flat-chested, and chubby, and you don't look as stunning as me. Your appearance doesn't seem to have any special qualities. Your only advantage is that your temperament is androgynous. When I need you, you can pretend to be a man and help me deal with those stinky men. When I don't need you, you can just return to being a girl."
I still remember Yunniang said this to me when she hired me.
However, although Yunniang claims to be a geisha who sells her art but not her body.
In fact, Yunniang didn’t have any special talents. She relied mainly on her extraordinary intelligence and stunning beauty to survive in the martial arts world.
On this day, the city's famous romantic and talented young marquis Gu Shaolian once again chose Yunniang.
This young marquis with a round face, fair skin, red lips and a scholarly air is a favorite of the emperor. He is full of vigor and vigor, and is very popular among the girls in the city.
Everyone in the city knows that the young marquis has been in love with Yunniang for a long time, and he will go to see Yunniang whenever he is free.
However, what they didn’t know was that the young marquis was actually looking for me.
To be precise, the young marquis was looking for the big cricket in my hand - the one with four legs.
The young marquis has long admired my four legs and has long wanted to spend a fortune to buy my four legs of the god of war.
Although her singing was terrible, the extremely smart Yunniang immediately discovered the business opportunity.
That is to use the four legs to attract the young marquis to become Yunniang's regular customer.
"Yunniang, you're making me feel like I'm exploiting my war god legs to find you customers."
One day, I complained to Yunniang like this.
"Hey, anyway, the young marquis can't tell whether we are taking his money or not, so the more money we make, the better." Yunniang rolled up her sleeves, sat on the stool with her legs crossed, and ate the roasted chicken legs.
I nodded seriously, "Indeed, I really don't understand why the emperor likes this somewhat silly young marquis so much."
"I heard that he saved the emperor several times." The gossipy Yunniang immediately started gossiping with me.
The story goes something like this.
One time, the emperor was on a secret tour and met Gu Shaolian's large group on the road. The group separated the emperor and his entourage, and the emperor sprained his ankle in the panic.
Just as the emperor was limping aimlessly along the country road, Gu Shaolian immediately recognized that the lame man in front of him was the current emperor in casual clothes.
Without saying a word, Gu Shaolian carried the emperor on his shoulders and rushed all the way to our local small clinic for treatment.
The emperor took it. He was so frightened by someone carrying him on his shoulders for an inexplicable ride that he had another heart attack.
Gu Shaolian once again performed artificial respiration and cardiopulmonary resuscitation on the emperor under the guidance of the country doctor without saying a word.
The emperor then woke up slowly.
"I heard that the Emperor was so nauseated after discovering he was being given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by another grown man that he couldn't eat for several days." Yunniang spoke with a hint of pity in her voice. "The imperial doctors wept and begged the Emperor to eat properly, but he refused."
"I heard that later, Gu Shaolian rushed into the imperial city and shouted that he would be responsible for his actions and must feed the emperor himself. The emperor was frightened and started eating." Yunniang said while tearing a big chicken leg.
"Tsk, it seems that it is difficult to tell whether this incident was the young marquis Gu Shaolian who saved the emperor time and time again, or he was the one who tried to murder the emperor time and time again." After listening to the story, I was inspired and said this.
"I heard that after that, the emperor refused to leave the imperial city for several years in disguise. He would spank anyone who suggested that he go on an incognito visit." The gossipy Yunniang continued.
"But the emperor still loves the young marquis very much." I interrupted.
"After all, he's the only minister in the entire imperial city to have shared a prolonged mouth-to-mouth kiss with the True Dragon Emperor, known as the Dragon Kin. As the only male Dragon Kin of the present generation, he naturally holds a special dignity. All the ministers in the court are in awe of the young marquis. I imagine even those old men are terrified of being kissed by him mouth-to-mouth."
Yunniang thought for a moment and continued, "Also, there aren't many people with the same idiotic personality as the young marquis in the imperial city. Most would have been dragged out and beheaded long ago. Only the young marquis, a unique dragon lover, can still live happily under the emperor's protection."
"Young Marquis is such a happy man." I said with some envy after hearing his story, "Young Marquis' happiness came so easily and comfortably. It's really enviable."
I shook my head.
(2) Gong, Shang, Jiao, Zheng, and Yu
As a famous geisha, Yunniang is not proficient in any of the arts, including music, chess, calligraphy and painting.
Yunniang knew nothing about poetry and songs.
As I said above, Yunniang can hold the title of the most beautiful woman in the city entirely due to her extraordinary mind and super high beauty value.
It really has nothing to do with her poor talent.
At the hour of Yin in the morning of that day, I was awakened by the shrill screams of killing chickens.
I rubbed my eyes sleepily and followed the sound to Yunniang's room.
I saw her playing the erhu frantically.
The huqin in her hands actually sounded like sawing wood.
I even vaguely saw sparks flashing from the strings of the huqin in Yunniang's hand due to the high-speed friction.
"What are you doing so early in the morning?" I yelled at Yunniang, covering my ears.
"The young marquis said he's been studying the huqin recently. I want to learn it too and find some inspiration for conversation."
"Yunniang, you really have no talent. Stop trying to change your fate and dream of pursuing a career in talent."
I must have been listening to Yunniang's noise for too long. So early this morning, I started to break down. "You're basically torturing innocent passersby like us. Your devilish noise is piercing our ears so early in the morning."
Yunniang seemed even more angry at my loud noise.
"Then tell me, if I'm not studying the huqin, what do I talk about with the young marquis all day? Are we always talking about your God of War's four legs?"
I looked at Yunniang's pretty little face and suddenly an idea came to me.
"Why don't you talk to him more about me, and then you can help me get married to the young marquis with my four legs as a dowry."
Yunniang rolled her eyes at me and said, "Let's not talk about four legs. Who do you think you are? Why would anyone marry you?"
Yunniang looked like she couldn't stand me, "Do you really think the young marquis would possess you just to possess a War God Cricket?"
I immediately fell into a depressed mood.
I wiped my tears with a sad face, "But I really think I should get married."
"Then your targets should be Lao Shui, the butcher next door, and Lao Ba, the fried bread seller in the northwest. You're actually thinking about the young marquis. I heard that Wei Zhen, the son of Wei Bai, the Minister of State, is even more powerful than the young marquis. He's known as the number one war god of Canglan. Would you consider marrying him?"
Yunniang finally put down her terrifying sonic attack weapon, the huqin, and grabbed my ear and said to me, "Calm down. Don't let your mother's nagging get to your head."
"But," I hesitated for a moment before slowly saying, "I don't know Pingnan King Wei Zhen, Lao Shui the pig butcher, or Lao Ba the fried dough sticks seller from the northwest."
As I said this, I became even more depressed.
Yunniang pressed her temples and looked like she couldn't stand me.
"Let's not talk about Pingnan King Wei Zhen, you would rather kill pigs and sell fried bread than follow me in the underworld?" When she said this, Yunniang's expression suddenly became a little sad.
I shook my head.
"Not really, it's mainly because of my mother..."
Yunniang interrupted me before I could finish.
"You keep saying your mother, your mother, your mother all day long. Now that she's married, does that mean you have to get married too?" Yunniang angrily slammed the table and shouted at me.
I shook my head again.
"No, my mother is unmarried. But she wants me to marry."
"What? Your mother isn't married?" Yunniang looked shocked. "How did you get here if your mother isn't married?"
"Well, my mother never got married in her life." I carefully corrected the mistakes in Yunniang's words.
Yunniang was stunned for a moment, then became gossipy.
"So you...are...a bastard?"
I shook my head again and again.
"My mother never married in her life. My father married into my family. My mother married my father."
Just when I was trying to argue with Yunniang about why I had to get married, Yunniang impatiently drove me out of the room.
"No one cares about your inner journey, just get to work!"
This afternoon, I took my God of War Four-legged Dog to the lake to fight crickets with the young marquis.
As expected, the God of War won the game with his four legs running fast.
Just as I was jumping around happily, my foot slipped and I fell into the lake.
I was soaking in the lake, blowing bubbles and screaming.
Fortunately, the young marquis, who was a good swimmer, quickly jumped into the lake and pulled me out.
By the time Yunniang saw the young marquis and me, we had already become a pair of drowned dogs.
In the evening, when Yunniang came to visit me, she said to me mysteriously, "Thirteen, I have decided to take this opportunity to fulfill your wish of getting married. Just wait for my good news."
At that time, I was lying on the bed, looking at the smug Yunniang in confusion.
"Yunniang, don't bring trouble to me." I said with some fear as I looked at Yunniang's appearance.
"Are you stupid? Happiness cannot be waited for. Happiness must be fought for by yourself." After saying this, Yunniang shook her hair and walked out of the house without looking back.
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