Chapter 10 "If Master doesn't come back one night, you'll..."
"Shanhe?" Old Master Liang put down his book and looked at Shanhe, who was sitting to the side doing needlework. "What are you thinking about? Are you feeling unwell?"
As her thoughts came together, Shanhe quickly replied, "No, Grandfather."
Grandpa Liang smiled slowly, "Thinking of Shao? Don't worry, he knows what he's doing." These past few days, Grandpa Liang had witnessed the improvement in the relationship between Shanhe and Liang Shao, and he felt very comforted. Harmony among descendants is a sign of a long and prosperous life. He was getting old, and his closest relatives were only these two grandsons. Fortunately, the sensible one had gone to the capital for the imperial examinations and would soon return with his achievements; the less sensible one had also started a family and had a very considerate wife. Grandpa Liang leaned back on his pillow, slowly closed his eyes, and unconsciously thought of the past.
At this age, fame and fortune are all meaningless; as long as the children are well, he is content. Old Master Liang slowly took out a brocade box from under his pillow and called out, "Shanshan, come here."
Shanhe put down her needlework and sat down, holding the brocade box in both hands. She joked with a smile, "I've only ever seen Grandfather touch this box before, but he wouldn't let us see it. He must have kept a lot of his personal savings in there. Now that it's in my hands, it's mine. When my elder brother comes back tomorrow, I'll share it with him. Ah Shao doesn't deserve any of it."
She used to joke like this in front of the old master, as if she and Liang Shao were truly as close as husband and wife. At the time, the old master didn't believe it, but he knew Shanhe was shy and thoughtful, and fearing she would overthink things, he went along with her words. The grandfather and granddaughter thus deceived each other. But recently, he overheard the servants' whispers and learned that Shanhe and Liang Shao were indeed husband and wife, and finally, he was completely relieved. He had no more worries.
Grandpa Liang pointed to the purse hanging by the bed: "The key is inside."
Shanhe took out the key, hung it on her fingertip, and leaned close to the old man, deliberately asking, "Oh, you really want it for me?"
Grandpa Liang nodded.
Shanhe's eyes reddened, and her voice choked with emotion: "Aren't you going to wait for A-Shao and A-Ye?"
Old Master Liang shook his head.
Shanhe bit her lip and inserted the key into the lock. Her hand trembled, and her shoulders slumped. She raised the back of her hand to wipe away her tears, but couldn't stop them. She could only cover her face and sit in front of the old man, crying.
The old man smiled, his hand trembling as he raised it and placed it on Shanhe's back, gently patting it. He thought to himself, Shanhe is a good child, just like her father—honest and not frivolous. Therefore, after Xue Yin sided with the Third Prince, he didn't even leave himself a way out. On his deathbed, he remained calm and composed, saying nothing he shouldn't have, only writing a letter entrusting his only daughter to his former mentor.
"Shanshan." The old man vaguely saw the diligent young Xue Yin from before, carrying a tattered cloth bag, running to him, crying and saying that his parents had died, begging Mr. Liang to take him in. So many years have passed in a flash. Xue Yin is dead, his wife is dead, his only son and daughter-in-law are also dead, leaving him all alone. Oh, and there are two grandsons, one is going to take the imperial examination to enter officialdom and cannot stay by his side, the other resents his autocratic ways and refuses to stay by his side. Only Shanhe, in the end only Shanhe—this girl who doesn't share his surname, who has no blood relation to him, he doesn't even know what she looked like when she was a child, yet she has silently taken care of him for two years, closer than family.
The old man watched as Shanhe's tears fell silently onto her knees, quickly soaking through her pine-green silk skirt. His own eyes welled with tears as he thought of the people and things of the past, of how so many years had passed, how everyone had gone, leaving him alone in this world, like an immortal old tortoise, waiting for death in solitude. He remembered the heavy snow that year, when Xue Yin and Liang Ye's father accompanied him to Manghu Mountain to lecture. The snow was so heavy that he slipped and fell, his blood staining the white snow, soaking his trousers, which quickly froze into ice. Xue Yin and his son took turns carrying him down the mountain. In the past two years, he had told Liang Ye, Liang Shao, and Shanhe about this incident, and they all said, "Grandfather, you're mistaken. Manghu Mountain is in the south. When has it ever snowed so heavily in the south?" The old man knew then that there was no one left in this world he could talk to.
"Shanshan, don't cry," Old Master Liang said softly with a smile. "You must be strong." He opened the brocade box, revealing a stack of yellowed, crumpled papers. Old Master Liang took the top two and handed them to Shanhe. Shanhe opened them and saw two five-hundred-tael silver notes. The old master said solemnly, "These are for A-Ye's future affairs. If he really passes the exam, his bride might be from the capital. Make it a grand and beautiful affair, so people don't laugh at our A-Ye."
Shanhe bit her lower lip and sobbed, "You give it to him yourself, I won't. He'll be back in a month, you can give it to him yourself!"
Old Master Liang didn't answer, but smiled and took out the two notes below: a two-hundred-tael silver note and the land deed for the Liang family's current residence. He stuffed them into Shanhe's hand: "Don't blame your grandfather for being biased. Aye is the eldest grandson, and he'll be going to the capital to pursue an official career. There will be too many places where he needs money. Tell A Shao not to blame his grandfather, not to blame his grandfather anymore, okay?"
Shanhe was already sobbing uncontrollably.
Grandpa Liang patted the back of her hand and smiled kindly: "Don't give the land deed to Ah Shao. Keep it and keep it safe. Your grandfather is dead, so keep it yourself. He won't dare to divorce you."
Shanhe opened her mouth, but couldn't utter a single word. Only two streams of tears flowed incessantly, staining the lotus pattern on her chest, making the lotus flowers appear as if they were immersed in water. She put all the books and papers in her hand back into the box, wiping away her tears: "What nonsense about dying! The doctor said you have several more years to live, and you're cursing yourself! Besides, why can't you wait for A-Ye to come back? It's only been a month! You're in such a hurry to leave, don't you care about A-Ye and A-Shao?"
Old Master Liang didn't answer. He didn't tell Shanhe that for the past two weeks, he had often forgotten things and people. Sometimes when he saw Liang Shao, he thought he was his son; when he saw Shanhe, he thought she was his daughter-in-law. Fortunately, he still remembered that they were all dead, dead before he even entered old age. As bedtime approached, the old man lay down, but his hands trembled violently, uncontrollably. Old Master Liang thought it was better to settle things sooner rather than later; if one day he couldn't remember anything, it would be too late, and he would have let his children down.
He moved his hand back and placed it on the book, muttering repeatedly, "Control, want to control, still want to control..."
Shanhe finished her dinner at Shouxi Hall, but Liang Shao hadn't returned yet. While the servants were wiping the old master's body, Shanhe went to the corridor of Shouxi Hall and called Qingyue: "Find two servants and go to Yuetuo Village to find Second Master. Ask him how he is, and if the case is going well. If it is, tell him the old master isn't feeling well and asks him to return immediately. If it's not going well, tell him to come back as soon as the case is finished, as the family is worried about him." Qingyue agreed and left. Shanhe then called the doctor, who glanced at the old master's face and eyes, didn't even take his pulse, pulled Shanhe out, and sighed, "It'll be over in the next couple of months. Second Madam, prepare the coffin as soon as possible to bring good luck to the old man."
Upon hearing this, tears immediately rolled down Shanhe's cheeks: "Bullshit! Last time you said you had two or three years left, that you could at least get through this year's end!"
The doctor shook his head: "He's got another illness."
"What illness?"
"I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's definitely not a long-term condition." The doctor turned to look at Old Master Liang, who was lying quietly behind the curtain. "Look at him now, his hands are trembling, aren't they? When an old man reaches this stage, there's no cure. How long he lives is up to fate. You younger generation should spend more time with him. He's been alone for so many years, and he must be suffering."
"Is there really no way out?" Shanhe asked unwillingly.
The doctor sighed, "Come and check on him more often at night. Maybe he'll be fine when his hands stop trembling one night. Continue to give him only the medicine for colds and flu; don't give him anything else, his body can't handle it."
After seeing the doctor off, Shanhe returned, wringing her hands, and found that Old Master Liang was already asleep, his hands still trembling. Shanhe blew out the lamp and sat down on the embroidered stool beside the bed. In the darkness, she calmly stared at the hand that was trembling more and more violently. The smooth skin was speckled with spots, like frog skin. Shanhe tilted her head back, not letting the tears fall. She regretted not noticing sooner, regretted not coming back to check on him after serving him to bed each night. When did it start? She couldn't remember at all.
Shanhe silently stood up, took a quilt from the trunk, and spread it on the daybed outside the gauze curtain. Qingyue tiptoed in and said that the matter in Yuetuo Village was troublesome, so the servant hadn't told them about Old Master Liang Shao's worsening condition. The two made up the quilt, and Shanhe would sleep in Shouxi Hall tonight.
The night was hazy, the moon hidden behind heavy clouds, refusing to shed even a sliver of its light. In her hazy state, Shanhe seemed to return to the day the house was ransacked. Her arms were held, and she was dragged out of the Xue family home, to a place she didn't recognize. That place was piled high with withered grass, insects and rats crawled around her in her sleeping quarters, and the food always reeked of spoiled odor. A month later, Shanhe was dragged out again, this time behind the decadent Qinhuai River, to a filthy alleyway where the brothel madam and pimps awaited her. She was dragged in, and a lifeless woman was dragged out.
Liang Shao cupped Shanhe's face in his hands and gently wiped away her tears with his fingertips.
A rough touch came to her face, and Shanhe slowly opened her eyes, only to find Liang Shao sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her without moving. He was travel-worn, carrying the chill of the night, his brow furrowed, but his expression was calm. Liang Shao's fingertips caressed Shanhe's face, and seeing that she was awake, he gradually smiled and said softly, "I wasn't back all night, and you cried like this? That's what you think?"
Shanhe tried to slap his hand away, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms. Liang Shao hugged Shanhe, his palm stroking her back, and whispered in her ear, "Before, when I was out there, you never cared about me. Today, you specially sent someone to ask if something happened?"
Shanhe was almost suffocating from his embrace. She struggled to push away Liang Shao's strong chest with both hands, and when she looked up, she caught a glimpse of his stubble-covered jaw and bloodshot eyes. Shanhe's lips trembled, and her heart ached: "Grandfather, something bad has happened."
Liang Shao's face froze, his eyes widened, and he turned his head blankly to look at the canopy bed with curtains not far away.
"The doctor said it would be nothing more than a matter of two months."
"How could it be so serious? Last time he came, didn't he say he only had two or three years left?"
Shanhe shook her head, tears dripping down her cheeks onto her collar: "He said he had another illness, but he couldn't explain what it was."
After a long while, Liang Shao patted Shanhe's back and whispered, "You should go to sleep first." He then released Shanhe's hand, got up, and moved to the bedside. Liang Shao quietly lifted the bed curtains, sat on the edge of the bed, and gazed silently at Old Master Liang's sleeping face. A lump formed in his throat, and his eyes welled up with tears.
He suddenly realized how old his grandfather had become. In his memory, his grandfather seemed to be living in the past twelve years, his hair not yet completely white, his spirit still high, able to tell him and his brother a story for an entire afternoon, and still able to chase him around with a ruler to beat him.
That year, he was five years old, and his older brother was seven.
On the Yongguan Road from Kyoto to Jingzhou, Liang Shao's family passed through Hailing County, which was ravaged by plague. The father immediately halted his journey to his new post and stayed in Hailing County with his mother and the rest of the family to treat the epidemic. Since arriving in Hailing County, he and his elder brother had been confined to the post station day and night, and they hadn't seen their parents until their deaths. Later, when the post station reopened, the first thing they learned upon setting foot on Hailing County's soil was that, to prevent a resurgence of the plague, their parents' bodies had been burned to a crisp.
Liang Shao only remembered that he was in a daze at the time, holding his elder brother's hand and crying non-stop. He had a loud voice and cried without regard for heaven or earth. Even the officials who were escorting them to the county ancestral hall couldn't help but shed tears when they heard it. His elder brother, however, kept his lips tightly pressed together, and even though his face was wet with tears, he gritted his teeth and refused to make a sound.
That grown man, who once held him and laughed and cried with his elder brother, had in the end become two heavy little boxes and two narrow wooden memorial tablets. Liang Ye and Liang Shao, each with a box and a tablet. They sat on the threshold of the county ancestral hall, waiting from dawn till dusk. As twilight fell, someone rode up on horseback, weary from the journey, from the end of the road. He said, "I am your grandfather, come back to Mizhou with me."
On horseback, Liang Ye and Liang Shao sat one behind the other, one sobbing softly, the other crying loudly. Old Master Liang held the reins, quietly wiping away his tears.
Twelve years have passed, and they have all grown up. Old Master Liang has reached the age where he should become a small box and a narrow wooden plaque.
Tears welled up in Liang Shao's eyes, and he quickly bit the back of his hand to stop himself from crying out loud. Unbeknownst to him, Shan He was already standing beside him, gently placing her hand on his slumped shoulder.
“Ah Shao…”
Liang Shao suddenly turned around, hugged Shanhe tightly, buried his head in Shanhe's chest, and sobbed softly with his back trembling.
Shanhe gently stroked Liang Shao's head, but couldn't hold back her tears.
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