Chapter 48 "They don't want me to touch them, they want Liang Shao..."
"I..." The words stuck in her throat, and she didn't know how to cover them up.
It's too obvious. Who doesn't know Liang Shao loves wine? Who doesn't know Liang Shao's lazy nature?
Shanhe lowered her head, biting her lower lip, and slowly said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have painted him..." She hurriedly turned around, looked at the person in the painting one last time, gritted her teeth, and tore it apart. She tore it again, until it was shredded beyond repair. With the table a mess, Shanhe, as if deflated, buried her face in the table and sobbed, "Grandpa, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have painted him. I just thought about that day when I left, and he was standing there alone, so lonely. We're all gone, we're together, and he's all alone, all left behind... I'm sorry, I can't forget him all at once. We were family for two years, I really can't just forget him completely all at once. I'm sorry, Grandpa... I'll eventually forget him..."
Liang Ye never expected her to react this way. He seemed used to her fierce resistance; he had been prepared for Shanhe to be angry, to push him away, to desperately shove him. But instead, she simply lay on the table, her shoulders heaving with sobs. Her words were earnest, her cries filled with sorrow and hope. The overwhelming anger that had filled his chest gradually dissipated in her choked sobs, transforming into a faint melancholy. He couldn't help but reach out and grasp Shanhe's trembling shoulders. The accusatory words, the resentful and hurtful words, stuck in his throat. His Adam's apple bobbed, and when he finally spoke, only a long sigh and a helpless "Shanshan" escaped his lips.
She's willing to apologize to him, she's willing to make promises to him... that's fine, that's fine too, as long as she's willing to change, it's not good to force her anymore.
"Let's slowly forget about Ah Shao..."
The person at the table remained silent for a moment, then slowly and indistinctly uttered a soft "hmm".
Liang Ye stood up, giving Shanhe some space so she could grieve a little longer.
When the sobs of the person in front of him subsided, Liang Ye said calmly, "It's alright." He held out his hand to her, "Come here."
Shanhe had no choice but to sit up, placing her hand in his palm, and reaching for her handkerchief to wipe her tears. She had barely touched the corner of the handkerchief when he pulled her close, pulling her into his arms, her tears smearing the dark brocade pattern on his chest. Shanhe panicked and tried to sit up, but in the next instant, he cupped her face in his hands and covered her mouth with his.
She was stunned for a moment, but quickly adjusted to his fierce and urgent assault. After a long while, he released her, panting, "Never think about him again, okay? Hmm?"
Shanhe stared at her own small reflection in his eyes.
She suddenly wanted to laugh. She had no choice at all; even her own thoughts were dictated by him, she had no freedom whatsoever. Since she had no choice, why bother asking her insincerely?
“…Okay.” She said in a hoarse voice.
Liang Ye glanced at her with a deep look: "How can I trust you?"
Shanhe looked up at him, a wave of sorrow welling up inside her. She knew Liang Ye wanted her to prove she would never think of Liang Shao again. How could she prove it? Should she lay her heart bare before him? Or…
Her body trembled, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
So, in the end, we've all ended up here?
She had no choice but to slowly reach out and untie the jade belt around his waist.
Liang Ye pressed down on her hand, frowning: "Why are you crying? Did I hit you? Or scold you?"
"No..." she sniffed.
"I didn't hit you or scold you, so why are you crying again?" He placed his hand on her face. "Do you feel wronged?"
"I...Grandpa...I'll never think about him again..."
Liang Ye gazed at her intently, offering no reply. Suddenly, his eyes swept over the mess on the table, a blinding glint in his eyes. Turning back, he saw her tears streaming down her face, and the anger that had just subsided instantly surged back. Just moments ago, she had been sobbing uncontrollably at the table, repeatedly lamenting Liang Shao's loneliness. How could that appearance be "not thinking about him anymore"? Clearly, she was thinking about him! Clearly, she wished she could transform into Liang Shao, to feel his loneliness inch by inch. Were these two lines of tears for the painting torn to shreds, or for resentment at his sudden intrusion, which had ruined her longing for Liang Shao? Or perhaps, she had never wanted him to touch her? Was all her "willingness" just an act?
"Ah." Liang Ye exhaled a breath of stale air, his voice tense, "You still feel wronged, don't you?"
"I only thought about Ah Shao, I only drew a picture for Ah Shao, I only lied to Liang Ye to make sure the person in the picture was him, I was afraid Liang Ye would find out. Shan Shan feels so wronged, doesn't she?"
His hand gradually moved down, landing on Shanhe's slender, fair neck, then he closed his palm and slowly tightened his grip: "Shanshan, have you forgotten who you are with now? Who gave you the clothes you wear? Whose bed are you sleeping on? Have I been too indulgent with you these days, making you so wild that you can think of Liang Shao on your own?"
Shanhe's face gradually flushed red. She gripped Liang Ye's fingers tightly, and a few words escaped her lips: "I...I didn't...I'm not wronged..."
Seeing that Shanhe was struggling to breathe, Liang Ye loosened his fingers one by one and chuckled, "If you're not upset, then why are you crying?"
"You don't want me to touch you, do you?"
"You want Liang Shao to touch you, don't you?"
Suddenly breathless, Shanhe clutched her chest, panting heavily. But after only a few breaths, the man was already kissing her, this time with even more ferocity. In no time, her lips were numb from the rubbing. Shanhe couldn't bear it any longer and gently opened her mouth, intending to breathe, but the snake quickly probed in, sucking on her tongue.
When Shanhe's body went limp and she no longer had the strength to resist him, Liang Ye released her, cupped the back of her head in his hand, stared intently into Shanhe's unfocused eyes, and asked in a deep voice, "Who kissed you just now?"
Shanhe gasped for breath: "You..."
"who I am?"
"Liang Ye." Her voice was weak.
"And who were you thinking of just now?"
"No, I wasn't thinking about anyone..."
"Hmm...no." He kissed her again. This time it wasn't just a kiss; his hands no longer silently embraced her.
Luo Ru, handkerchief, undergarments... one by one they were stripped off and lay limply on the ground, until Shanhe was left with only his undergarments.
In the past few days, he had stopped at this point, wanting to save the most important moment for the day the imperial examination results were announced. But now, his eyes were bloodshot, his mind filled with Liang Shao and Xue Shanhe, Xue Shanhe and Liang Shao. What a deeply affectionate and lingeringly connected couple!
Good, very good indeed. This girl has learned to be quite hypocritical these days. She says she's "willing," but in reality, she only has Liang Shao in her heart!
The more Liang Ye thought about it, the more his chest felt like it was burning with fire. Just moments ago, he had forced himself to restrain himself, trying to reassure himself with Xue Shanhe's loyal and affectionate nature—she wouldn't forget Liang Shao so easily, he was willing to wait, and willing to give her more time. But now she was crying! Was she really going to let him touch her like this?
A surge of anger rose within him, and looking at her tearful face, he couldn't help but wonder if he were Liang Shao, would she also be crying and unwilling like this?
Once jealousy is ignited, it is difficult to extinguish. Her silent resistance and tears, at this moment, are like boiling oil poured on his head, setting off a raging fire that burns away all his remaining reason. He suddenly leans down and punishes her by biting her soft earlobe.
A sharp pain shot through her ear, and Shanhe cried out in pain without realizing it.
Liang Ye carefully felt her trembling, then suddenly released her, pulling away from her completely. Liang Ye coldly glanced at her: "Shanshan, open your eyes and see clearly who's holding you right now!"
Shanhe opened her tearful eyes, feeling humiliated, and looked at him through her misty gaze.
He smirked: "Who were you thinking about just now?"
Shanhe said softly, "You." She paused, "Liang Ye."
How can I trust you?
Shanhe was stunned for a moment. Her body and hair were gifts from her parents; she knew she couldn't even protect her own. Shanhe bit her lip, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to his. She climbed onto Liang Ye's shoulders, wrapped her arms around his neck, and her neatly manicured nails slowly dug into his thick, dark hair. Suddenly, she broke free from his advances, breathing heavily, her eyes filled with determination: "I will forget him." But then she added, "I will only remember you."
—Young couple, the first person in your life, you'll surely remember them, won't you?
—I will remember, I will remember you for the rest of my life, Ah Shao…
He wanted her to think only of him, but she refused. Not only did she not want him, she wanted to think of the person he refused to think of, and she wanted to treat him as that person. Now she could not protect anything, except her thoughts, which were her own and which he could not take away.
Liang Ye froze, then used one hand to protect the back of her head. The two of them fell side by side, thigh to thigh, onto the lichen.
The snake patiently savored the last drops of sweet saliva. When he lifted his face, a pool of crimson saliva had already seeped from Shanhe's lips.
He lowered his head and smiled, his eyes surging with emotion. In an instant, he felt boundless joy, and the discomfort he had been suppressing for the past few days vanished.
In this world, where is there anyone who so perfectly suits his heart!
How could every part of her possibly please him so much!
Liang Ye tightened his arms around her, watching her tilt her head back and close her eyes. He growled, "Shanshan..."
After a few incense sticks' time, Liang Ye and Shan He lay side by side on the carpet in the private room, their chests heaving uncontrollably for a long time.
Shanhe rested her head on his arm, slowly turning her face to look at his face, which was covered with a thin layer of sweat, his high nose, and his slightly pursed lips. Her gaze moved upwards, still on that moon window reflecting the blue sky and flowing clouds. Outside the window, the shadows of trees were horizontal and the green leaves were lush.
Seeing her in a daze, Liang Ye pulled her close, wrapping her up to his body and gently stroking her skin.
Connecticut summers aren't dry and hot; they seem rather humid. The dampness often feels sticky on the skin. Shanhe slightly propped himself up, away from his sweaty, hot chest.
"Shanshan," Liang Ye pulled his finger out, it was dripping wet, "What are you thinking about?"
Shanhe's eyes were blank as she stared at his face, as if she were looking at another person: "Grandpa, I have nothing left."
Her voice was so soft that Liang Ye didn't hear her clearly: "What?"
"Grandpa, I'm thinking of you."
Liang Ye's lips curled up slightly.
What are you thinking about me about?
"I was wondering why you said it had to be in Kyoto before." But now it's okay even without going to Kyoto.
"On the day the results of the imperial examination are announced, we should host a banquet for relatives and friends. But how to plan and strategize? Think carefully," Liang Ye said earnestly, "that night, I only want to spend it with you."
"Hmm." Shanhe leaned back on his shoulder. "Okay."
Seeing that she was finally obedient, Liang Ye was satisfied. He then propped himself up on his arms to make her more comfortable. He pulled Shanhe's legs together and made her wrap them around his waist. His hands were casually placed on her waist and hips, pinching the thin layer of skin covering her spine.
Shanhe said softly, "Is Master so certain that the palace examination will yield a good result?"
"What?" He looked down at Shanhe, a smile playing on his lips. "Don't you believe your master?" Shanhe pursed her lips and remained silent.
Liang Ye continued, "In fact, those who can pass the imperial examination are all of similar talent and character. The final result of the palace examination depends on two things. Either they are exceptionally talented and stand out from their peers, making His Majesty remember them at a glance; or they are influenced by how they manage things behind the scenes."
"Make arrangements?" Shanhe asked, puzzled.
Liang Ye hugged her tighter and softly hummed in agreement: "All those who pass the imperial examinations can have a mentor. Mentors often hold high positions of power and influence in the court. In our year, there was a scholar named Liu whose mentor was Wang Fu, the current Chancellor of the Secretariat, and whose mother was the younger sister of the Princess of Guangliang. If Shanshan were His Majesty—"
Shanhe was so frightened that she quickly covered his mouth: "You'll lose your head if you say that!"
Liang Ye lifted her hips, pressing her almost against his body, chest to chest. He leaned close to Shanhe's ear and whispered, "Then I'll say it right next to Shanshan's ear, so no one else will hear. Okay?"
He knew perfectly well that Shanhe was very sensitive, but he deliberately stayed so close to her, wanting to watch her be embarrassed with a smile.
He continued, "If Shanshan were His Majesty, would you allow this Liu Gongshi to fail the imperial examination?"
Shanhe slowly shook her head. Suddenly, as if remembering something, she raised her head and asked, "Then who is your mentor?"
Liang Ye smiled and pecked her lips: "Lord Ouyang, the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat."
In truth, Shanhe knew nothing of these major political events, nor who the current heads of the three provinces were; even their surnames were merely vague glimpses. But she certainly knew the title "Chancellor of the Secretariat" (门下侍中). The Secretariat was responsible for reviewing imperial edicts and signing memorials, and the official in charge of the Secretariat was the Chancellor. Thinking this way, Shanhe felt her future was even more bleak. Liang Ye hadn't even entered officialdom yet, yet he could so easily torment her and Qingyue. If what he said was true, that he had become a disciple of Chancellor Ouyang, given Ouyang's influence in court, combined with Liang Ye's own talent and ability, the power he held would only grow. What would become of her then? Would she really be trapped by his side for life, a nameless and unrecognized concubine? Thinking of this, Shanhe felt increasingly desolate.
Seeing that Shanhe's expression had calmed down, Liang Ye kissed her cheek and asked with a smile, "What are you thinking about? You seem so engrossed."
Shanhe subtly avoided his lips, composed herself, and carefully crafted the words she had originally intended to say to him before speaking in a rambling voice: "Grandpa, actually I... did two things today."
Liang Ye had already kissed the back of her ear and said in a muffled voice, "Mmm... the first thing is to kiss me, the second thing," he said with a smile in his eyes, "is to help me cool down."
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Author's Note: [Cracked] This is a story I'm revising in the middle of the night... It's so hard to write!
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