Chapter 72 She is a goddess who saves all living beings.
They lay on the boat for about half an incense stick's time before they heard a deafening roar of galloping hooves. The horses headed east along the main road, paying no heed to the lotus leaves covering the pond.
When the sound of horses' hooves faded at the end of the road, all was quiet again, leaving only the clamor of their own heartbeats. Shanhe quickly turned around and smiled, "They're gone! Lotus Leaf saved us!"
But then they saw Liang Ye breathing weakly, his eyes half-closed as he quietly gazed at the sky.
Shanhe panicked. Was he going to die?
He's going to die.
He was breathing heavily, and his pulse was much weaker than before. Even when Shanhe sat up to look at him, he didn't move at all, just calmly gazing up at the starry sky.
Overwhelmed with grief, Shanhe quickly wiped away her tears, moored the boat at the shore, and hurriedly went ashore.
On a dark and windy night, a lone firefly's light fades away. A pair of lovers, separated by heaven and earth, perish like shooting stars.
A weak voice came from the stone boat: "Shanshan...don't go..."
"Don't go..."
Liang Ye mustered all his strength, turned his face, and looked at Shan He standing on the shore.
He didn't want to die here alone. If he really had to die, at least she would be by his side. Only now did Liang Ye feel a pang of sorrow. He was going to die. To die right after he became a third-ranked scholar. To die on the eve of his official appointment. To die in an unnamed lotus pond in the desolate wilderness. To die in boundless loneliness with no one by his side. He only had Shanhe by his side, but Shanhe was leaving too.
Don't go, Shanhe. Don't go...
Don't leave me behind...
The wind in the lotus pond was cold and harsh, and he wanted to hold Shanhe and fall asleep peacefully in his arms at the last moment.
Shanhe simply bent down and wiped his face for him: "You stay here, I'll be right back!"
"No..." He knew he couldn't hold on for much longer.
Shanhe had already turned around quickly and disappeared into the night.
Liang Ye gazed at her slender back, watching the last person in this world connected to him disappear into the night, while he lay there alone, quietly awaiting his long death.
If he hadn't treated her that way back then, would she be staying with him now?
For no apparent reason, this question popped into his mind.
Immediately afterward, memories of Shanhe flashed before his eyes like a revolving lantern. There was his first meeting with Shanhe, sitting beside Liang Shao, her head bowed and eyes lowered; there was Shanhe serving the elderly in Rongxi Hall… and of course, there was Shanhe being forcibly taken to the boat by him, holding her breath every day, refusing to submit to him, stubbornly refusing to submit to him. Liang Ye chuckled softly. Back then, he had done so many things to hurt her; no wonder she was now leaving so resolutely.
Where did she go?
Should we find someone to rescue him? Or should we take this opportunity to return to Kyoto and leave him with Qingyue?
His heart trembled. He suddenly realized that he and Shanhe were already the closest people in the world, but he could not say with certainty that Shanhe would not leave him at such a critical moment.
He died alone.
This terror gripped him. His life, though not grand or spectacular, was, compared to most, fulfilling and rich. Yet, at the moment of death, he had nothing. Absolutely nothing!
The soul scatters, the bones wither and sink to the deepest shore, not dwelling in mud, but in snow and ice.
It truly consists of only bones and a soul. It truly died in the water, waiting for the winter snow to seal the lotus pond.
He couldn't believe it, nor did he want to believe it, and he hurriedly recalled every little thing he had shared with Shanhe during these days. There were times when they lay together, chatting idly at night; times when Shanhe lit a lamp to paint, and he held a book and read it with relish... It seemed that with these memories, he would not leave alone, and he could smile in the afterlife, carrying with him clusters of lustrous pearls.
Liang Ye's consciousness gradually faded into memories of the past, as if he himself had solidified into a candle flame within his body. All the others were dead, only this candle flame remained alive.
Everything about him is contained in the candlelight, which is the flame of his life.
When tonight's wind extinguishes the fire, Liang Ye will be gone from this world.
...
As the candlelight was about to go out, he was suddenly jolted awake from a deep nightmare. His body was being slowly and laboriously dragged away from the stone boat and pulled to the shore.
It is Shanhe.
Liang Ye wished he could shout her name out!
It was late at night, the night was deep, and only the crows on the branches cawed noisily. Shanhe had found a cart from somewhere and was carrying him on his back, inching his way toward the shore.
"Shanshan...Shanshan!" he called out to her in a hoarse voice, extremely weak.
Shanhe responded and, seeing that Liang Ye had reached the shore, let go and slumped onto the bank, resting his strength while wiping the blood-red sweat from his face.
It was all his blood. Shanhe put her hands into the pool and washed them again and again. Then she ran a few steps to the side, scooped up a handful of clean water, splashed it back, knelt down beside him, and dripped the last drops of water into his dry, pale lips.
She leaned down and whispered in Liang Ye's ear, "There's a lone house about two miles away. It's too late, he's probably asleep. I'll steal the cart from his yard, and we can sneak in. Maybe we'll find water and food there."
"Liang Ye, we all have to survive."
The soft sound, carried by the wind, brought Liang Ye a profound sense of peace.
He turned his head slightly. Shanhe knelt beside him, her clear, bright eyes gazing at his blood-smeared face. She took up her sleeve, dipped it in the pool water, and gently wiped his face. Her own face was also in bad shape; her sideburns were frizzy, and a line of blood on her neck had already congealed into a red chain. Only her eyes remained clear and bright. He had always loved those eyes of hers. Before, he thought they held a gentle, subtle affection; later, he thought they were filled with an ungrateful stubbornness; but now, he realized that those eyes had never changed. They held a softness that concealed resilience, a tolerance that contained an indomitable strength—a power that could create something from nothing, a power that could take root and flourish anywhere!
Nuwa molded clay, Xihe bathed the sun, and the Queen Mother of the West ruled over Kunlun...
The Goddess of the Luo River, Mazu protecting the sea, Guanyin saving all living beings...
May all beings be saved...
He had never believed in such ethereal tales. But at this moment, he vaguely felt that Xue Shanhe was them, Xue Shanhe was them, Xue Shanhe was a goddess who had fallen to earth, a goddess who saved all living beings!
He also saved only him...
Shanhe stood up again, and just like before, she carried him on her slender back, step by step, with great difficulty, onto the cart. He heard her increasingly heavy breathing and felt her increasingly unsteady steps.
The rural cart has a wooden flatbed in the middle, one wheel on each side, and two long wooden poles extending forward, which can be used to hold or to harness livestock.
After Shanhe carried him onto the cart, she was drenched in sweat. Liang Ye couldn't speak, and could only look on sadly as he saw how he was a burden to her. Seeing that his eyes were half-closed, as if he was about to fall asleep, she quickly called his name: "Liang Ye, can you sleep? Don't sleep, I'm scared."
She was afraid he would die. She dared not utter the word, fearing it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Liang Ye mouthed to her: I'm not sleeping.
It means "immortal".
This frail, thin woman from a pitiful background, this gentle yet resilient woman with a fragrant soul—what would happen to her if he died? He couldn't die. He had to at least arrange a good future for her, ensuring she would be well-fed and clothed for the rest of her life, before he could leave in peace.
Shanhe had already rolled up her sleeves and stood in front of the cart. Like a village woman, she wrapped the thick hemp rope wrapped around the cart around her shoulder and then gripped the handle in front of the cart tightly.
He gritted his teeth but couldn't lift it.
He gritted his teeth again, but still couldn't lift it.
Liang Ye suddenly felt an urge to cry.
Shanhe gritted her teeth and comforted him, "It'll be done soon." Then, after a few muffled groans, the cart finally started moving.
As the wheels rolled, Shanhe was able to rest a little, and when they reached the downhill section, he could even jog in the night breeze.
A gentle evening breeze swept by, and Liang Ye's tousled hair was disheveled in the night. Every tremor Shan He had felt beneath him in the past could not compare to the gentle, swaying of the cart at this moment; every moan Shan He had uttered beneath him in the past could not compare to the sweet sound of her breathing at this moment; every thrill he had felt when he possessed her in the past could not compare to the reassuring silence at this moment, where a thousand words were dissolved into the night.
The journey was too long, and she was walking along a bumpy path. When she had gone halfway, Shanhe stopped the cart and sat on the plank to catch her breath and rest.
Liang Ye turned his head and saw her looking up at the stars. After a moment, she raised her arm, secretly wiped away a tear, and sniffled heavily.
Looking down, a deep, long red mark appeared on the exposed back of her neck, a mark left by the hemp rope tied to the cart.
Liang Ye finally couldn't hold back any longer: "You... go..." As soon as he finished speaking, two lines of clear tears flowed from the corners of his eyes, leaving pink streaks on his face.
Shanhe pretended not to hear, but the way she raised her hand to wipe away her tears betrayed her.
"Shanshan...you...go..." Don't worry about me. Don't die. Don't cry. Go on your own, live well.
Shanhe's voice grew increasingly choked with sobs: "Look, the crescent moon... the crescent moon has grown hair. When I was little, my mother said... if the moon grows hair, it will... it will rain tomorrow..." As she finished speaking, she covered her face with her palms and began to sob.
"Shanshan..." Liang Ye called to her, "The study... there's a seal... a token... go back to Mizhou to get the money... live a good life..."
"Who wants your money!"
“Write a letter to… Ah Shao… and ask him… to help carry the coffin… and take me home…” he stammered as he explained.
“Tell him yourself! You wouldn’t let me mention him! You wouldn’t let me think about him!”
"He refuses," Liang Ye thought sadly. But he was going to die. From this night on, he couldn't live without Xue Shanhe, he couldn't live without Xue Shanhe for the rest of his life, but he was going to die.
"Don't forget... me..."
He closed his eyes and silently shed tears.
A moment later, the wheels continued to turn.
Shanhe gritted her teeth and said, "You saved me just now, so I'm saving you. We're even now."
“You helped me when we were in Michigan, so I’m helping you.”
“Liang Ye, you know I hate owing favors the most, so you’re not allowed to die, especially not to die saving me. If you dare to die, I dare not write to A Shao. I’ll let your body rot, let you be bitten by flies and insects, but I won’t bury you next to Grandfather… That way you won’t tell Grandfather that you died saving me…” She swallowed her tears.
Shanhe's journey has been arduous, as if in the nearly three years since she was fifteen, the storms of fate have always pressed down on her, yet she always manages to miraculously straighten her back after the storms and snows have stopped.
Like a wildfire that cannot be extinguished, or a spring breeze that brings it back to life, so too does Xue Shanhe.
When Shanhe stopped, her palms were blistered and her back was marked with blood.
At this moment, Liang Ye's intense pain had subsided, his breathing had calmed down a bit, and his speech was no longer so slurred, but he was starting to feel cold all over.
Shanhe wanted to carry him down again, but he said he would lie down on the cart.
Shanhe panicked: "There's nothing to cover you! When those people come over, they'll see you the moment they see you, and they'll stab you to death with one blow!"
Liang Ye remained silent.
Shanhe opened her hands, covered in blood blisters, to show him: "You can't die! I've suffered so much, you can't die! You have to listen to me!"
He finally nodded and slowly propped himself up with his uninjured left arm. Shanhe quickly helped him up and pointed to a coffin placed in the corner: "Let's lie there, no one will see us, and it'll be warm."
The man living in this house was an old man over fifty years old, all alone, with only three thatched huts for company. So, since middle age, he had been saving money to buy a good coffin, preparing his last possession.
Liang Ye stared blankly for a moment, then finally uttered a soft "Mm".
He leaned half his body on her, and with great difficulty, she helped him into the coffin. Shanhe suddenly felt a pang of regret; it was too ominous. What if he hadn't died yet, and this coffin happened to summon the Black and White Impermanence? Shanhe quickly grabbed the edge of the coffin, wanting to lie down as well. She would stand in front of Liang Ye and keep the Black and White Impermanence away.
A cold wind rustled the leaves behind them, and a crow perched on a branch, its cold eyes fixed on the two people inside and outside the coffin.
The old man was only one step away from Shanhe.
Who are you?!
Shanhe was startled. As she turned around, a hideous face quickly approached and magnified infinitely. Shanhe was so frightened that she almost fell into the coffin.
"Who are you!" the old man said, revealing a set of uneven, yellowed teeth.
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The author says: Shan Shan is a person with super strong vitality, both soft and resilient, and a fragrant soul!
Beauty and good drawing skills are just Shan Shan's most ordinary advantages; her gentle, kind, soft yet resilient nature is her most dazzling quality!
Shan Shan is a heartthrob. But the idea of someone being attracted to a pretty face is too superficial for Shan Shan; she's a heartthrob because of her personal charm! That's why Old Master Liang likes her, and both of his brothers love her! And then there's Qing Yue, Miao Er, Wu Tianqi… Anyone who spends time with her will fall in love with her!
Shan Shan thrives wherever she goes. In peaceful and tranquil environments, she thrives even more; in harsh environments, she forges her own flesh and blood from thorns. Everything related to truth, goodness, and beauty surrounds her. She is a goddess! She is Mother Earth!
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