Chapter 86 Liang Shao as a Servant
The three helped each other down from the sedan chair. Liang Shao also dismounted and took the reins of his horse. Looking around, he saw winding alleys and couldn't help but say, "Shanshan, where did you find this courtyard? No wonder I couldn't find you. With all these twists and turns, how could I possibly find you—"
"Liang Shao." Shanhe turned around, looked at him, and said in a calm voice, "We've arrived."
The rented carriage had already driven away, kicking up dust, and Miao'er had entered the courtyard. Qingyue brought over a celadon teacup, which was filled to the brim with water.
Shanhe took a deep breath: "Liang Shao, drink the water and then leave."
Liang Shao chuckled awkwardly, "No...no one drinks standing outside, Shan Shan—"
"Don't call me Shanshan." Shanhe lowered her eyes.
"Okay. Shanhe?" Seeing that Shanhe no longer resisted, he said steadily, "Shanhe, we haven't seen each other for a long time. I'll go in and sit for a while, we can talk for a bit, and then I'll leave, okay?"
Seeing the hope in his eyes, and then glancing at Shanhe who was biting her lip with her eyes down, Qingyue felt a pang of sadness in her heart: "Second Master, you should leave. You can see that Madam is doing well now. Anyway, they are already divorced. What do you mean by coming here alone into Madam's courtyard? You may not care, but Madam needs to make a living here."
Upon hearing this, Liang Shao looked up and noticed several eyes peeking out from around the corner of the narrow alley, secretly watching them. Liang Shao paused, then quickly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't think it through." He tightened his grip on the reins. "Shanhe, if you don't want me to go in, then I'll have to leave. I'm currently staying at the Guangling Inn by the Qinhuai River. If you need anything, just send someone there to find me."
Shanhe gave a soft "hmm".
Liang Shao sighed, looking back every few steps, before finally mounting his horse and riding away dejectedly.
Shanhe and Qingyue hurriedly returned to the house and closed the courtyard gate. Miao'er rushed over and asked, "Wife, what is he doing here? Should we move out?"
Qingyue also looked towards Shanhe.
Shanhe's gaze lingered on the two women's faces. "We can't find a suitable courtyard right away. There are shops in front, and Fang Niangzi's house is right across the street. Moving won't be easy." She bit her lip and pondered for a moment. "Qingyue, Miao'er, when you go out in the future, never say your family names. Qingyue, your family name is Bai. If someone asks you, just say your family name is Bai. Miao'er, you too, use your family name. It was alright that we ran into Liang Shao today. But now Liang Ye is working at the Dali Temple, and his henchmen are even more powerful than Liang Shao's men. We must be careful."
Qingyue and Miao'er readily agreed. From that day on, aside from Fang Niangzi and the others continuing to call Shanhe by her name as usual, whenever they were outside, Shanhe only said her surname was "He" and her name was "He Shanxue," not Xue Niangzi, but Xue Niangzi. After a night of deep thought, Shanhe felt she should make things clear with Liang Shao, firstly to avoid him harassing her, and secondly to prevent him from speaking carelessly and letting Liang Ye know. Therefore, the next morning, just as dawn was breaking, Shanhe wrote a note, intending to have a child go door-to-door to deliver it to the Guangling Inn. As soon as she opened the courtyard gate, she saw a solitary figure sitting on the small stone steps. Liang Shao's usual white horse was tied up beside him.
Hearing the commotion behind him, Liang Shao abruptly stood up, a steaming oil paper package dangling from his fingertips. Seeing it was Shanhe, Liang Shao's eyes lit up, and he exhaled a frosty breath as he spoke: "Shanshan...Shanhe, good morning. Have you eaten yet? I saw a shop selling steamed buns on the street corner when I came; they smelled so good, I bought some for you." He quickly picked up the oil paper package and presented it to Shanhe.
Shanhe frowned: "Liang Shao, I have something to tell you."
Liang Shao was delighted: "Alright, I also have something to say to you." He stepped halfway into the courtyard, "Then let's go inside and talk, shall we? There are people coming and going outside, it'll just cause unnecessary gossip. Right?" As soon as he finished speaking, he was already standing in the courtyard, and considerately closed the courtyard gate for Shanhe.
"Shanshan, you speak." He smiled.
Seeing Liang Shao's behavior, Shanhe felt a pang of heartache. She pursed her lips and slowly said, "Liang Shao, I heard from the official gazette a few days ago that you are now the Baron of Huguo County and the commander of the vanguard battalion of the Beichuan Army. Everyone praises your bravery and says you are one of General Pei's top generals. Congratulations."
Liang Shao's smile widened, revealing a row of white teeth: "Ah, it was just a lucky victory, and we caught a worm along the way."
"How can winning a battle in a place like Beichuan be considered a fluke? When word of your deeds comes back, everyone praises you."
Liang Shao curved his lips into a smile, tilted his head slightly, and was in a great mood.
Shanhe changed the subject: "So now that you're doing well, I'm doing well too. Grandfather in heaven must be very pleased."
“In a few months it will be the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. Shanhe, come with me back to pay our respects to him.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you.” Shanhe raised her eyes. “I won’t go with you. We’ve already divorced, and my life has moved on to a new direction. Why bother?”
Liang Shao felt his neck stiffen, and he lowered his head blankly, fixing his gaze on Shan He's face. He softly called out, "Shan Shan..."
Shanhe slowly smiled: "Ah Shao, I'm so happy to see you, to see you so successful and accomplished. Choosing to divorce was the best decision for both of us. Right? You've earned your fame and fortune, and I'm living the life I wanted."
"Shanshan, what kind of life do you want? I know you make a living by painting portraits now, but that's okay. You can come with me, or I can stay and you can continue painting. Whether you want to live here or in the Xue family's old house, I'll do whatever you say. In any case, that house was bought for you."
Shanhe gazed at him with her bright eyes and said softly, "Ah Shao, have you forgotten? There was another reason why I left in the first place. My identity and my family's past are really a burden to you. Now that you have a title, what would His Majesty think if he knew that you were staying in Jinling as the daughter of a government slave and a disgraced official?"
Liang Shao pursed his lips and slowly fell silent.
"So, Ah Shao, I think things are great as they are now. I can earn money, and I can support myself and Qingyue and the others. You've earned military merits, realized your ambitions, and even received a title. We both have great lives."
Liang Shao blurted out, "But my life is without you!"
Just those words brought tears to Shanhe's eyes. He was no longer in her life. They had been a young couple, shared a period of harmonious love, she had tried to be a good wife, and she had secretly loved him. But as she loved him, she slowly came to her senses. Back then, he hadn't respected her at all, let alone loved her. So she focused on repaying the Liang family's kindness and never wanted to be associated with the word "love" again. But then he did those things, and then he began to respect and understand her. In the very end, he deliberately drank that bowl of tea. It wasn't her who ran away; he personally saw her off.
"Shanhe, it was during the near-death experience in Beichuan that I realized I couldn't live without you. At first, I just wanted to hear from you. If you were doing well, I'd be happy. If you weren't, I could help you." His voice softened. "Shanshan, fighting isn't easy. You said everyone praised me, and you were pleased, but on the battlefield, I realized there's so much to face. Not just the enemy, not just my comrades, but many inexplicable things. Some people were seriously wounded, and yet..." Those who survived could return home to recuperate, receive a pension from the court, and never have to go to the battlefield again. Some were killed with a single blow, vanishing in an instant, their bodies unclaimed. I used to disbelieve in fate, but on the battlefield, I couldn't help but. Sometimes I wondered why that fatal blow struck this person and not that one. I couldn't be sure if one day Heaven would stop favoring me, or if that fatal blow would strike me again. Was I to die instantly, or to survive a wretched existence?
Liang Shao sniffed, his eyes reddening slightly. "So, I want to see you more. I want to see you more before I die. Shanshan, you're all I have in this life. My brother has his own life to live, and I can't disturb him. I only think of you. If I die there, that's fine. But if I come back crippled from that place, Shanshan, can I come to you? You don't need to take care of me; I'll hire some servants to look after me. I can even give you money, so you won't have to worry about making a living when you don't feel like painting. I won't ask you to marry me; just live closer to me and talk to me every day. If, if you find someone you like, I'll give you a dowry, okay?"
Shanhe stood there, stunned. Looking at Liang Shao's reddened eyes, she suddenly felt that this boy, who had been spoiled since childhood and pampered by his grandfather and older brother, seemed to have matured a lot in this instant, and also become a lot more cowardly. She still remembered their last heart-to-heart talk, when he was full of vigor and raised his nose and laughed, "I'm lucky, the King of Hell doesn't want me, I won't die."
Their eyes met, and both of them shed tears.
Shanhe quickly turned her face away, took out a handkerchief, and gently wiped away her tears. She said softly, "Ah Shao, you really don't need to do this. With your current status and achievements, you could easily find a perfect and considerate wife. She would treat you even better than I have."
Liang Shao replied, "But I met you first. No matter how good others are, how can they compare to you?"
He took a step closer and saw that Shanhe had finished wiping away her tears, her hand slowly falling to her side. Liang Shao snatched the handkerchief from her hand and wiped his own eyes as well: "I haven't carried a handkerchief with me in a long time." He paused, "So, Shanshan, is it because of me that you don't want to be with me? Even if I were just following you, letting you marry freely, letting you do whatever you want, you still wouldn't agree?"
Shanhe lowered her head and stammered, "I don't know how to say it. But this matter is indeed a great difficulty."
"Is there anything else?"
"I like this kind of life. I earn my own money, I rely on myself for everything, and I don't have to worry about or think about anything else. You're by my side, and although you say you'll give me freedom, can I really be free?"
Liang Shao pressed on, "Then I'll be your servant! Can you treat me like a servant?"
Shanhe sighed, "Ah Shao, you should go."
Liang Shao, however, had already picked up a bamboo broom from the wall and was diligently sweeping the snow. As he swept, he said, "Shanshan, I also have something to tell you. I bought the Xue family mansion yesterday, and now I only have seven or eight taels of silver left. I can't stay at the Guangling Inn anymore. I'll give you all this money, and you can rent a small room here, is that alright?" He pointed to the tiny room that had originally been a bathhouse, "This one will do."
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