Chapter 35 "Big brother, please, let me go..."
Liang Ye smiled and looked up. He put down his brush, casually placed his palms on either side of the scroll, and said with a smile, "You've come. If I hadn't called someone to invite you over, would you really have never seen me again?"
Liang Shao sat opposite him, not looking at him, but glancing down at the tattered painting on the table, and said in a hard voice: "I said long ago that someone deliberately set the fire."
Liang Ye smiled and said, "It's alright, I've already put away all the important things. It must have been an unintentional act by the crew. Since the loss isn't serious, let's let it go and not make things difficult for him."
Liang Shao gave a muffled "hmm" and ignored him. He twirled the red musk bracelet on his wrist, his gaze fixed on his palm.
"Ah Shao." Liang Ye put away the painting, picked up the teapot and poured tea. "I heard that you are going to look for that Xue family."
Liang Shao said nonchalantly, "Oh, right. What's it to you if I'm looking for her?" He slowly turned his face, scrutinizing Liang Ye's eyes. After a long silence, he said, "Do you perhaps know Shan Shan's whereabouts?"
Inside the four-poster bed, Shanhe tried desperately to open her mouth, her lips moving, but she was shocked to find her throat hoarse, unable to utter a sound. Her throat seemed to be mute; only her lips moved, but no sound was heard. Shanhe then struggled to raise her hand, trying to lift the bed curtains, but she didn't even have the strength to lift a single finger! She suddenly remembered the medicine Liang Ye had given her earlier.
She was unwilling to give up, and she concentrated her energy, desperately trying to make a sound, but all her efforts were in vain. She couldn't speak or move, yet her hearing was sharp and her mind was clear. She could hear every word Liang Shao said clearly; he was looking for her, he wanted to find her, he was angry with Liang Ye, and all he could think about was how to find her.
Despair swept over her, almost engulfing her. She tragically found herself utterly helpless; she opened her mouth, but couldn't speak; she raised her hand, but couldn't move. She desperately tried to cry out, but could only scream deafeningly in her heart. No one could hear her voice, no one could see her tears.
The small canopy bed stood silently behind Liang Ye, like a lurking beast, with Liang Shao facing it directly. Yet it made no sound, like a deep pool that had swallowed countless creatures and monsters, leaving no trace of their remains. The surface of the pool was as still as a silver mirror, only rippling when the wind blew.
Shanhe was swallowed up inside.
Liang Ye remained unfazed: "How would I know her whereabouts? That night, after she disembarked, she left with that little maid in the dead of night. Presumably, she had already found a place to stay, but she just didn't want us to know. However—" He paused, deliberately leaving us in suspense.
Liang Shao hurriedly asked, "But what?"
Liang Ye smiled and said, "However, I have a guess in my mind."
"What?"
Liang Ye lowered his eyes, pushed the celadon lotus cup filled with tea in front of Liang Shao, and said gently, "Ah Shao, tell me first why you are so determined to find her. Xue Shi is determined to divorce you, so why are you so persistent?"
The emerald green tea steamed with white vapor, and gazing at it for a long time made my eyes blurry. Liang Shao stared at his blurry reflection and sighed, "Although we're divorced, we still have two years of marriage in our hearts. Even if a broken mirror can't be mended and spilled water can't be gathered up again, being able to know her whereabouts and her situation from time to time means that if she's in trouble, I can help her; if she's living a comfortable and happy life, I feel... I feel a little happier."
Liang Ye's face suddenly darkened, and his knuckles gripping the teapot handle clenched tightly and turned white.
Shanhe closed her eyes in despair, and two lines of clear tears quickly slid down her cheeks.
After a long silence, Liang Ye said in a deep voice, "If I were Xue, what I would want to do most right now is go home."
“Jinling?” Liang Shao raised his eyes and murmured, “It’s not that I haven’t thought about Jinling, but which way will she go… I’m afraid I’ll take the wrong path and miss her again.”
“If I were her, to evade your pursuit, I should first go through Yanzhou, then south to Danzhou, then to Hangzhou and Suzhou, and finally to Jinling. Such a roundabout route would take a long time and pass through many prefectures and counties, making it difficult for you to find her. Besides, her maternal grandparents' family is in Suzhou, which is her only remaining relative. You are determined to go to Suzhou.”
Liang Shao pondered deeply, carefully considering Liang Ye's words.
Liang Ye paused, then took an envelope from among the piles of books and placed it on the table: "Ah Shao, Xu Wei's son in Jinling is my classmate. If you want to go to Jinling to find the Xue family, you can go to the Xu residence first."
Liang Shao asked, puzzled, "Xu Wei?"
"The Southeast Army is ordered to guard the four southeastern prefectures of the Great Yan, with Jinling as its base. Xu Wei is the current commander of the Southeast Army. If you go there, you can join Xu Wei's ranks. When the military examinations are held next year, you can take the exams as a staff member under Xu Wei, which should be much easier."
Inside the tent, Shanhe was covered in tears.
Liang Shao took the envelope with trembling hands, his fingertips crumpling it into wrinkles.
Liang Ye smiled and said, "I've been hiding here these past few days repairing calligraphy and paintings, and you haven't come to see me. I know you're angry with me. It was really my fault for lying to you about your affair with Xue. But it's good that you want to find her and secretly protect her. I have nothing to say about it. Even if Grandfather knew in the afterlife, he would praise you."
“Ah Shao, you may go. If you need help, just tell Cheng Min. I’ll help you find the Xue family.” He picked up his brush again. “Repairing paintings is tedious, and I know you can’t stand the wait, so I won’t keep you any longer. Before you disembark tomorrow morning, at least come see me one more time, Ah Shao. We should never be estranged, brothers.”
“…Okay.” Liang Shao’s voice was hoarse. “I will.” He stood up abruptly, grabbed the letter of recommendation, and headed out. Pushing open the door, Liang Shao suddenly stopped. He stood facing the light, his face half-turned, leaving a silhouette in the background—straight nose, thin lips, truly elegant and handsome. He said steadily, “Brother, she’s not called Xue Shi. She has a name. Her name is Shanhe, Xue Shanhe.”
Shanhe's vision went black, and he almost fainted.
As the footsteps faded into the distance, Shanhe's last hope was finally shattered.
The bed curtains were lifted slightly from the outside, and then half of the silk drapery was loosely hung up by silver hooks. Liang Ye sat back down on the edge of the bed and quietly gazed at her face.
"Did he make you cry again?" He took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears. "It won't happen again. He's going to Jinling, your home. You'll never see each other again."
Shanhe opened her mouth in anguish and mouthed: Let me go.
Another tear rolled down her cheek.
"No." He stubbornly wiped away his fresh tears.
Please.
"no."
Why?
Liang Ye suddenly froze. He recalled the night he first met Shan He. She sat beside A Shao, the candlelight casting a gentle, tender glow on her face, like someone who had stepped out of a painting. He smiled slightly: "Shan He, you... don't you understand my feelings?"
She understood, but she dared not understand. She was afraid, terrified; she knew she couldn't bear this affection. He was her elder brother, such a noble and upright man, praised and respected since childhood, who had always protected her as he had protected Liang Shao. How could he possibly...!
She desperately wanted to escape.
By this time, Shanhe felt utterly exhausted. She had been crying frequently these past two days, and although her heart was still heavy with sorrow, she couldn't shed any more tears. Her eyes were terribly dry and itchy. She simply closed her eyes, remaining motionless like a clay or wooden statue.
Seeing her like this, Liang Ye felt a surge of anger. Did she despise him so much that she wouldn't even glance at him? His feelings had been trampled on by Shan He these past few days; what more could she possibly want? She wanted freedom, and he had shown her. A slave woman, powerless to even kill a chicken, was far from free; any bandit could easily subdue her. What was she still stubbornly clinging to? Was it because of A Shao…?
His eyes swirled with an unyielding malevolence, and his entire being seemed to be scorched by flames. Liang Ye's lips tightened as he gazed intently at her, wishing he could see through her beautiful face to the depths of her thoughts.
But he ultimately restrained himself. There was plenty of time; he didn't need to rush. Once Liang Shao disembarked the next morning, she would have no choice but to rely on him; he would be her only refuge.
After Liang Ye left, Shanhe slowly opened her eyes. Half of the curtain was pulled up, and she could easily take in the room's furnishings. The surroundings were piled with chests and boxes of all sizes, and on top of them were various books and paintings. Only the area around the canopy bed was clean, with only a small table, a cushion, and a Boshan incense burner.
She gazed intently. Inside the Boshan incense burner, a wisp of white smoke curled and swirled, gently enveloping the bed. Shanhe stared at the wisp of smoke, her thoughts becoming sluggish and drowsy. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep again.
*
The following morning, the rising sun broke through the surface of the Fei River, casting thousands of dazzling golden rays that shone directly into the bed curtains.
Shanhe was awakened by a commotion. As she slowly regained her senses, she suddenly realized that she could move her knuckles again. She quickly opened her mouth, and although her voice was low, she could at least make some noise.
She called out urgently in a hoarse voice, "Help me... someone..."
The door opened in response.
Cai Xiang carried in a lacquered square tray, on which sat a celadon covered bowl.
Shanhe suddenly remembered what happened yesterday. She bit her lower lip. This time, she would never drink that poison that made her mute and weakened her again!
Cai Xiang seemed to know her concerns and said softly, "Second... Ah, Madam, from today onwards, these medicines will no longer contain anything else. They are all tonic prescriptions given by the doctor specifically for Madam's deficiency of qi and blood. Madam has always had insufficient qi and blood. Back in Shuyu Pavilion, Second Master also taught Madam to drink these. They are truly excellent prescriptions for nourishing the body and replenishing qi and blood. If Madam does not believe me, smell them." She scooped a spoonful and held it to Shanhe's nose.
Shanhe still couldn't believe it and kept pursing her lips.
Seeing her like this, Caixiang put down the medicine bowl and went out again. Soon, she came back carrying a copper basin draped with a white cloth. She sat on the edge of the bed, soaking the cloth in the water and washing it repeatedly. A few rose petals floating on the surface stuck to the back of her hands. She gently picked off the petals, wrung out the cloth, and then used it to wipe Shanhe's cheeks.
The touch was gentle, slowly and tenderly moving from her forehead to her eyes, then from her nose to her chin. Shanhe's heart clenched again, a bitter ache welling up, but no more tears. In recent days, she had encountered many people who used force to coerce her, so Caixiang's gentle touch was like a long-awaited rain nourishing her parched heart.
Cai Xiang was one of the first head maids to serve Liang Ye. Having served for a long time, she was calm and composed, and Shan He always respected her for her thoughtfulness and meticulousness. As she wiped Shan He's face, she said, "Madam, did you hear that? It's so lively outside." Her tone was gentle, just like when she was having a private conversation at home.
Cai Xiang placed the cloth back in the copper basin, glanced towards the direction of the lattice door, and smiled faintly, "Second Master is about to disembark. First Master said that once Second Master disembarks, he won't keep you locked up anymore, and you can go out for a walk. This will be good for your recovery." She turned back and sighed, "I understand your heart, but what can we do now that things have come to this? We might as well live on. As long as a person is alive, as long as they have a breath left, there's always room for things to turn around. Besides, First Master isn't that kind of frivolous and unworthy person; he will treat you well, that goes without saying."
Shanhe was taken aback; it turned out that she was also Liang Ye's persuader. Suddenly, she didn't want to listen to Caixiang anymore.
She opened her mouth with difficulty, and said in a voice that was as hoarse as could be, "But people still need to live with dignity... to live with respect... otherwise they are no different from livestock..."
Shanhe paused, taking a deep breath: "Caixiang, we are all servants... but even slaves should have dignity, and should not be played with and forced to the point where they cannot even speak..." Suddenly, a cold smile bloomed on her lips: "Caixiang, have you been a servant for too long... and forgotten that you are a human being first?"
Cai Xiang's pupils contracted sharply, and she was so shocked that she was speechless.
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The author says: Even cattle and horses deserve dignity and respect. They should be allowed to leave work when they're off work and have weekends off when they're off work. They shouldn't be manipulated and forced to work even on their days off... (This is definitely not my true feeling...)
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