Unaware of human suffering and pain
Tang Feng froze, lowering his head, not daring to look Zhou Ziliang in the eye. Those eyes seemed to pierce through him. He quickly pulled his hand back. "What's there to feel sorry for! My father doesn't even feel sorry for me when he beats me, so why are you feeling sorry for me? Apply the ointment yourself! Twice a day." With that, he left. Zhou Ziliang held the ointment Tang Feng had given him; the porcelain bottle still held the warmth of Tang Feng's fingertips. Zhou Ziliang watched Tang Feng's departing figure and smiled. Oh well, he had been too hasty. There's always tomorrow.
Tang Feng walked to a secluded spot, found a rock, and slowly sat down. He didn't know why he had run away. He clutched his chest, his heart pounding wildly—a feeling he'd never experienced before. Tang Feng frowned. "What am I doing! Why did I run?" He tried to calm his breathing. "What am I afraid of!" He didn't know when it started, but his attitude towards Zhou Ziliang had begun to change. He didn't seem to dislike him as much anymore, and he began to accept Zhou Ziliang's kindness with a clear conscience. Tang Feng plucked a few weeds from the ground and threw them by the water. "Oh well," he thought, "maybe I'm just being sentimental. We're all brothers; there's nothing wrong with caring for each other."
"Little brother, you're back?" Zhang Mobai, who had been sitting inside reading, came out to check when he heard the noise. Seeing Tang Feng return, he quickly went to greet him. "I don't know what you've been so busy with these past few days, I haven't seen you at all."
Tang Feng smiled. "It's nothing. I'm going to Daze for a few days, so I'm going to ask the teacher for leave."
"Daze?" Zhang Mobai frowned. "I'll go with you! It's prone to flooding all year round; it's too dangerous." Zhang Mobai knew about the floods in Daze and was also well aware of Tang Feng's personality—once he made a decision, it was hard for him to back down. It was impossible to persuade him not to go, so he had no choice but to offer to go together.
"Don't go, it's dangerous over there, and besides, Zhou Zi is there..." Tang Feng was stunned. What was he saying? Why did he suddenly bring him up again? Zhang Mobai listened, smiled gently, and didn't point it out. He pulled Tang Feng's hand and dragged him into the house. "Look at your blushing face. I don't know what you've remembered. It's still chilly now, don't catch a cold."
Tang Feng nodded. "I don't know how many months I'll be gone. If I get a letter from home, could you imitate my handwriting to reply? I'm afraid my sister and the others will worry. Don't tell them I'm going to Daze either. If my sister finds out, she'll probably chase me to Daze and give me a good scolding."
"You should write your own letters home! Who can imitate your terrible handwriting?" Zhang Mobai squatted down, found a few sheets of paper, put them on the table, pushed Tang Feng in front of the table, and handed him a pen. "I don't know what's wrong with you. Did you knock your head while riding a horse and forget how to write? Look at that scribbles. Even the King of Hell couldn't imitate them!"
"Tch! I'll write it myself then, I don't need your help anyway," Tang Feng pouted, picked up his pen and started writing. After writing a few sentences, Tang Feng looked up at Zhang Mobai thoughtfully, "Little madman, do you know what it feels like to like someone?"
Zhang Mobai shuddered upon hearing this, and the ink stick fell into the inkstone, splashing ink onto his sleeve. "What did you ask me?"
"I...I asked you what it feels like to like someone," Tang Feng's voice trailed off, his head practically buried in the letter. Although Tang Feng had never been in love in his past life, he wasn't stupid! He was aware of his own psychological changes to some extent, and Zhang Mobai's teasing only made him more agitated.
"Hey bro, tell me honestly, are you starting to like Ziliang? I knew it was something you could never change, no matter how many times you fall off a horse, you'll still like him."
"Just tell me what it feels like to like someone, why are you talking so much? You're like an old woman from the village," Tang Feng said, slightly annoyed, pretending to be about to hit him.
"Alright, alright! I won't tease you anymore," Zhang Mobai chuckled, putting down the ink stick in his hand. "You like this stuff, I guess! It's hard to say. Maybe it's unconditionally being good to someone, or unconditionally accepting that person's kindness in return. It's probably a mix of both!" Tang Feng stared at the letter for a long time, seemingly oblivious to what he was hearing. Zhang Mobai took the brush from Tang Feng's hand. "Little brother, you must tell me if anything's wrong. I don't know if I can help you, but I hope you can tell me. Don't keep it to yourself." Zhang Mobai was quite happy about the changes in Tang Feng and Zhou Ziliang, but he was afraid that Tang Feng would keep things to himself. Tang Feng's fall from his horse had left Zhang Mobai with considerable psychological trauma.
"Okay! Okay!" Tang Feng replied casually and then fell silent. It wasn't surprising, though; Tang Feng's mind was preoccupied with Zhang Mobai's words, trying to fit them into his own thoughts. He couldn't understand how a 21st-century straight man could have a lesbian relationship. "Little madman, I'm leaving tomorrow. Don't you want to talk to me about something else?"
"Nothing else to tell you," Zhang Mobai patted Tang Feng on the shoulder. "Even though Zhou Ziliang is by your side, I still hope you can come back alive." After saying that, Zhang Mobai got up and left, not forgetting to add before leaving, "Just put the letter on the table when you're done writing it, and I'll mail it to you another day."
Tang Feng got up early the next morning, quickly packed a few clothes, and went out. Zhou Ziliang was waiting for him at the door, holding Hongdou's hand. "All packed? Let's go!" Zhou Ziliang extended his hand to Tang Feng. Tang Feng instinctively raised his hand, but then remembered Zhang Mobai's words and quickly withdrew it, inwardly cursing himself for being so weak, always unconsciously responding to Zhou Ziliang. Tang Feng adjusted the bundle on his shoulder and brushed past Zhou Ziliang. Zhou Ziliang's hand, raised in mid-air, slowly fell, a hint of disappointment flashing in his eyes, but it didn't last long. "The bundle is quite heavy, let me help you carry it!" Zhou Ziliang pulled Hongdou and followed Tang Feng's steps.
"No need!" Tang Feng was determined to keep his distance from this man. He couldn't let his good looks ruin his long-standing fondness for girls. He clenched his fist. "Zhou Ziliang, I hope you remember we have an engagement that needs to be called off."
"I remember!" Zhou Ziliang snatched Tang Feng's bundle, hung it on Hongdou's body, and smiled at Tang Feng. "Of course I remember, but before the engagement was called off, you were still my betrothed!"
"What a shameless person!" Tang Feng rolled his eyes and stopped arguing with Zhou Ziliang. He walked out of the academy, where Fang Zihui was waiting for them with his horse. "Where's the carriage?" Tang Feng was hesitant to ride a horse, so he assumed a carriage would be prepared. However, Fang Zihui didn't even look up, adjusting the bundle on the horse's back. "A carriage? Tang boy, do you think we're going on a sightseeing trip? By the time your carriage arrives, the flood season will be long over."
Tang Feng, feeling wronged after being rebuked, wondered what he could do about being afraid of horses. Standing there awkwardly, Tang Feng realized he couldn't ride a horse, nor was he brave enough to. The most embarrassing part was that he hadn't even led a horse out yet—was he supposed to walk the entire hundred-mile journey? As Tang Feng was still pondering this, he suddenly felt himself lifted into the air. When he came to his senses, he was already sitting on Hongdou's saddle. Zhou Ziliang, holding him and pulling the reins, urged Hongdou to hurry and catch up with Fang Zihui's horse. Tang Feng awkwardly twisted his body, but Zhou Ziliang held him even tighter. "Don't move! Don't throw you off again!" Tang Feng was also frightened and instantly stiffened, sitting motionless on the horse. Zhou Ziliang laughed at this. "You don't need to be so nervous. Hongdou is perceptive; he knows you're nervous, and he feels uncomfortable too."
Just as Fang Zihui had said, the journey was long and arduous. Even with their hurried pace, the group had traveled for over a month. Tang Feng hadn't experienced floods, but he had witnessed earthquakes. The ground shook violently, and even normally sturdy buildings seemed on the verge of collapse. Fang Zihui had warned him beforehand, mentioning the devastation caused by floods. But when Tang Feng stood at the city gate of Daze, why had Fang Zihui initially resisted his arrival? The city gate was dilapidated, and both inside and outside the city were filled with ragged people. Tang Feng, mounted on his horse, looked down at these people; they were all emaciated and weak. "Why isn't the city gate being repaired? It's in such a state of disrepair, and why are all these people sitting outside?"
Fang Zihui sneered, "Young man from the Tang family, do you think this is Xiling? Tell me how you're going to repair the city gate. Fifteen years old is considered a strong adult here. Every flood season, all the able-bodied men in the city have to be sent out to fight the disaster. More than a hundred of them go, and how many of them come back? And you want to repair the city gate?"
Hearing this, Tang Feng turned and looked up at Zhou Ziliang. Zhou Ziliang looked down at him. "What's wrong? Tired?" Tang Feng shook his head. "I want to dismount." Upon hearing this, Zhou Ziliang dismounted, pulled on Hongdou's reins, and helped Tang Feng down. Tang Feng dismounted and looked around. The sounds of weeping and wailing were incessant. Tang Feng frowned; for some reason, the sounds, though not loud, were incredibly jarring. Tang Feng walked to the city wall and saw an old woman holding a little girl, weeping uncontrollably. Tang Feng approached and slowly knelt down. The old woman looked up at Tang Feng. "Sir! Are you a newly appointed official here?" "Please, save my little grandson!" the old woman cried, holding the little girl up to Tang Feng. "She's been sick since before the New Year, and there's no doctor here. She's only four or five years old. If she dies like this, how will I face her deceased parents after I die!" Tang Feng frowned as he looked at the child. She was thin and small; if the old woman hadn't said she was four or five, he would have thought she was two or three. Her face was covered in mud, and her hair was a mess. Tang Feng couldn't help but reach out and gently stroke the little girl's forehead. At this moment, Zhou Ziliang also squatted down, took out a few pieces of silver from his pocket, and handed them to the old woman, saying, "Grandma, please keep this money and take the child to see a doctor!"
The old woman shook her head, weeping. "Here, there's nowhere to spend money. The doctor was arrested with the child's father, and they haven't come back." Zhou Ziliang slowly lowered his hand, which had been raised in mid-air, unsure of what to say. At that moment, the child slowly opened his eyes, staring at Tang Feng, and murmured softly, "Brother, I'm hungry."
Tang Feng leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Little girl, what did you say?"
"Brother, I... am hungry," the little girl repeated herself with all her might. "Wait here, okay? Brother will go get you something to eat." Tang Feng stood up and walked to Hongdou's side, taking down his bundle and frantically searching through it, hoping to find something to eat. After searching for a long time, he only found a few tattered clothes and nothing else. Perhaps because he had been too agitated earlier, a piece of candy suddenly fell out of his clothes. It was the one Zhang Mobai had slipped into his clothes before he left. Tang Feng turned around and handed it to the old lady. "Grandma, I... I don't have anything else on me. This candy... you can give it to the child!" The old woman took the candy from Tang Feng and thanked him repeatedly. "Little girl, quick, quick, give this to her." "Thank you, sir!" The little girl stretched out her hand, trying to take Tang Feng's. Just as Tang Feng reached out, the little girl's arm fell heavily to the ground. Tang Feng hadn't even reacted; he just stood there, stunned. The old woman, holding the child, kept calling the little girl's name. Zhou Ziliang quickly got up, checked the little girl's breath, and then shook his head. "It's no use, she's already dead." The old woman stared at Zhou Ziliang for a long time, as if hoping he was lying, but Zhou Ziliang said nothing. He just stood up and sighed deeply. Immediately, the old woman's heart-wrenching cries erupted. Tang Feng slowly got up, staring at everything before him with a sense of horror. Tang Feng was born in... Even in peacetime, though he'd transmigrated to Yan Yun, he was still a wealthy young master from Xiling. He'd never seen anything like this before. Zhou Ziliang pulled Tang Feng aside and covered his eyes. "If you don't want to see, then don't." Tang Feng's lips trembled slightly. A moment later, Zhou Ziliang felt a warm current in his palm. He quickly lifted his hand and saw that Tang Feng's eyes were slightly red, and there were still tear stains on his cheeks. "You, you shouldn't cry!" Zhou Ziliang was caught off guard. After all, ever since Tang Feng's fall from his horse, Zhou Ziliang had always perceived him as a happy, carefree person. He'd gotten into trouble, but he'd forgotten about it the moment he stepped on the ground. Zhou Ziliang hadn't seen him cry in a long time, so long that he'd almost forgotten he used to be... The little crybaby was crying, so Zhou Ziliang quickly took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Tang Feng's face. "Don't look anymore, that's just how Daze is, don't take it too seriously. Let's go to the post station!" After saying that, seeing that Tang Feng was still unmoved, Zhou Ziliang sighed, hugged Tang Feng in his arms, and patted his back to comfort him. "Alright, alright, don't be afraid, let's go back to the post station first." After saying that, he took Tang Feng's hand and walked towards the city. Fang Zihui shook his head. "What did I tell you? You can't come here like this. Hey! Why are you pulling me?" Zhou Ziliang tugged at Fang Zihui's sleeve, thinking that he shouldn't upset Tang Feng anymore. At this time, Tang Feng didn't say anything, but just silently followed behind Zhou Ziliang, letting him hold his hand.
Upon arriving at the post station, Tang Feng remained sullen. Zhou Ziliang sighed and placed the food in front of Tang Feng. "Xiao Feng, eat something!" Tang Feng shook his head. Zhou Ziliang put the bowl on the table. "I know that little girl's death has hit you hard, but there are so many people in Daze, and many have suffered more than that girl. You can't stay so down! Everyone has their troubles; the past is the past. If you let what happened in the past affect your current mood, then you're probably just afraid. But you have more important things to do."
Tang Feng looked up at Zhou Ziliang, his eyes clearing somewhat. "Zhou Ziliang, I... can I hug you, just for a little while?"
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