Chapter 90 Grandfather's Love
Zhiyi Girl:
By the time you read this letter, your grandfather will have passed away. Don't be sad; everyone has to go through this. In his life, your grandfather fought in wars, earned merits, watched your mother grow up, get married, and have you, and then raised you with his own hands. He had no regrets. His only worry was you.
Girl, are you blaming your grandfather? Are you blaming him for being old-fashioned and arranging such an unreliable marriage for you? For pushing you into the Huo family, an environment you're unfamiliar with and that might not even welcome you?
Grandpa has to have a serious talk with you today.
The engagement was brought up by your maternal grandfather over the phone with Old Huo. But don't misunderstand, my grandfather isn't the old-fashioned type. Things like "arranged marriages from birth" and "parental commands" don't count for your maternal grandmother or me. We had a free choice in love. So, this engagement, back when your grandfather Huo and I were on the battlefield, was just a joke made in a life-or-death situation—we said we'd marry if our families had a boy and a girl. Later, after peace was restored, we both treated it as a joke, and neither of us took it seriously. If we were to be serious about it, it would be your mother's generation, not yours.
Why did Grandpa still do that?
Because your maternal grandfather can no longer protect you.
My dear girl, your grandfather watched you grow up. From the year your parents passed away, when you were only twelve, you didn't cry or make a fuss, but helped with the funeral arrangements and comforted this old man. From that moment on, your grandfather knew that you had too many things on your mind and were too strong-willed.
The organization, mindful of your parents' contributions and sacrifices, offered numerous forms of assistance. Housing in Beijing, living allowances, preferential treatment in future school enrollment… all were presented to them. But your grandfather and you refused them all. Your grandfather knew your parents' personalities; if they knew, they would never agree to their daughter living off their achievements. You were stubborn too; a little one, wiping away your tears, you said, “I don’t want special treatment. My father is a hero, and so is my mother. I can’t let them down.” So, your grandfather took you, packed some of your mother’s favorite childhood books and your father’s military medals, and left Beijing, returning to our ancestral home in Jiangnan, the small town where your mother grew up. There, the water is gentle, the breeze is soft, life moves slowly, and people are simple. Your grandfather thought that at least there, you could grow up safely and peacefully like an ordinary child.
From childhood to adulthood, you've never caused your grandfather any worry about your studies. But your grandfather also clearly sees that the fire in your heart has never gone out. You studied hard not only for success, but also to catch up with your parents and continue what they didn't finish. When you got into the best university, returned to Beijing, and joined the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, your grandfather knew that this day would eventually come—you were about to walk a path that was even longer and more difficult than what your parents had faced.
My dear girl, your grandfather has watched you grow step by step to where you are today.
You devoted all your time to studying. You learned foreign languages, international relations, and even secretly passed your medical licensing exam behind my back. I know you missed your mother and wanted to continue the path she left behind. You always said, "Mom said that the more you learn, the more people you might help in the future, and the fewer battles you might have to fight. Fewer people will sacrifice like Dad, and fewer doctors like Mom who will never come back." Other teenagers are at a time when they love to play, make friends, and have romantic dreams about the future. What about you? Besides going to school, you're buried in books and materials. You don't like socializing, not because you can't, but because you think it's a "waste of time." You want to use all your time to "become stronger," strong enough to shoulder the unfulfilled dreams of your parents.
Grandpa's heart aches for you. But Grandpa also knows he can't persuade you otherwise. That's your hope, your support.
But you don't know that people's hearts are treacherous, and a tall tree catches the wind. You're smart, outstanding, and have no connections, yet you ended up in a prestigious place like the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. You always apply to go to the most dangerous and arduous front lines. Do you think all your achievements are the result of your own hard work? Yes, your abilities are undeniable. But girl, not everyone in this world will applaud your excellence. When you shine too brightly, others become too dim. There's never a shortage of people who are jealous, want to trip you up, or even try to exploit you.
(Upon reading this, Song Zhiyi's fingers tightened slightly as she held the letter. She recalled the first few years after joining the company, when she did encounter some inexplicable obstacles. A translation project that she was originally supposed to participate in was suddenly reassigned, the reason being "insufficient experience"; rumors about her "relying on connections" and "mysterious background" circulated briefly in a small circle before quickly disappearing; and even once, an analysis report she submitted on the situation in a sensitive region was subtly but crucially altered, almost leading to a misjudgment. Fortunately, a senior colleague discovered and corrected it in time, but the investigation later came to nothing... She always thought it was because she wasn't careful enough, or that she was lucky enough to meet a benefactor. Now, thinking back...)
When your maternal grandfather was still alive, he could rely on his influence to secretly shield you from some open and covert attacks. Those inexplicable "transfers," inconclusive "investigations," and suddenly silenced "gossip"... your maternal grandfather and your grandfather Chen were always there to help you behind the scenes. We know you're proud and didn't want you to feel like you relied on anyone, so we did it discreetly.
But Grandpa is getting old, and his health is deteriorating day by day. What will you do after I'm gone? You're a girl, without parents, without any family to rely on, yet you're walking on such a thorny and conspicuous path. Grandpa can't even close his eyes in peace.
So, I swallowed my pride and called Old Huo. I begged him to fulfill his 'joke' from years ago and get the Huo family to accept you. I know it's unfair to the Huo family, especially to that young man. Old Huo is a man of principle, and he agreed. He'll definitely use every means at his disposal to force his arrogant grandson to agree. That young man from the Huo family… hmph, to be honest, Grandpa really doesn't think much of him. He's not good enough for such a wonderful granddaughter as me.
But Grandpa had no choice. The Huo family had high standards and a deep background. As long as you became a member of the Huo family, even if only in name, those who wanted to harm you would have to think twice about the Huo family's influence. This was the strongest armor Grandpa could think of for you before you were fully independent.
You're a wonderful girl, good in every way, except you're too good at enduring hardship, swallowing all your suffering alone. Working in those dangerous places, suffering such serious injuries, with such a large scar on your back, you came back without a word, pretending nothing happened. But how could Grandpa not know the lingering smell of medicine on you, and the unconscious furrowing of your brow in your sleep? Grandpa's heart is breaking. But I dare not ask, afraid that if I do, you won't even let me see that little bit of feigned calm.
Grandpa hopes that the Huo family lad will have a conscience, will gradually see your good qualities, and will genuinely protect you. If he can truly do that, Grandpa will be at peace in the afterlife.
But if... if you're unhappy in the Huo family, if that kid continues to be a scoundrel, or if you meet someone you truly want to spend your life with, girl, remember, don't force yourself. Grandpa and Old Huo have agreed that as long as Old Huo is alive, the Huo family will protect you. This protection won't change because you're not a Huo family daughter-in-law. That's what Old Huo promised me. So, don't be afraid to leave. You will always be free.
Grandpa has written so much, I don't even know if I've explained it clearly. My dear, the person I've wronged the most in my life is your parents; I didn't protect them. And the person I can't let go of the most is you. Grandpa couldn't give you a carefree and happy childhood and youth, and I even arranged your marriage without my consent… Grandpa wasn't a good grandpa.
But Grandpa loves you, loves you so much. I only hope that my dear girl will live a peaceful and joyful life from now on, be able to do what she wants to do, love who she wants to love, and no longer have to carry such a heavy burden alone.
Grandpa is tired, so I'll stop writing here.
Your loving grandfather
The letter was dated two months before my grandfather passed away. By then, he had been bedridden for a long time, and his handwriting was so crooked that it was almost illegible. The last few lines were so faint that they were almost invisible, clearly indicating that he had used up all his last strength.
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