Shen Zhiyi looked at him steadily.
It was as if through him, I saw a small boy squatting in the damp and cold rainy season, his whole body bitten by darkness.
The rain is dripping heavily.
It fell from his eye sockets all the way to his soft heart.
Until it became hard and cold, and its original appearance could no longer be seen.
She touched his face, her eyes gentle.
"Pei Ji, you've grown up."
"The person trapped in the heavy rain of childhood is no longer you."
"Now, take my hand and bring him out of the rainy season together, okay?"
She held out her hand toward him, palm up.
Pei Ji's eyes were filled with mist.
He first carefully touched her fingertips little by little, then held her tightly with all his strength, pulled her over, and hugged her tightly in his arms.
"Baby……"
"Will you leave?"
Like that woman, she first held his hand, then let go, leaving him alone in a dark alley.
A place where even sunlight doesn't reach.
Tears rolled down her cheeks.
Before it even reached her neck, he wiped it vigorously.
Shen Zhiyi hugged him and said softly but firmly: “I’m here to take you away.”
"From now on, let's go together, okay?"
A soft voice dispels the darkness.
Pei Ji's body trembled slightly, and he asked in a muffled voice, "Will you hate me?"
"You saw it all, didn't you?"
"That person... is my mother."
"But I don't want to care about her."
"I hate her."
"I even wanted to take revenge on her."
"Am I very bad?" His heart was clenched, and he was tossing and turning in endless pain and self-blame.
He thought.
He must be of low moral character.
Only then would they treat their blood relatives so coldly.
Shen Zhiyi loosened her arms, held his shoulders, and looked into his eyes with great seriousness.
She told him more firmly than ever.
"Pei Ji, you have the right to decide how to treat the relationship that causes you pain."
"Whether to cut it off or maintain it, it's all up to you."
“Don’t blame yourself.”
"Because he was an abandoned child, no one ever gave him the right to choose."
Pei Ji was almost stunned.
He looked at her, tears sliding down his cheeks.
But he no longer cares.
No more pretending.
Just expose your vulnerability in front of her.
Because she is so tolerant.
If you possess her, you can possess her courage at all times.
Know the meaning, know the meaning deeply.
He never knew that a person's name could be so powerful.
Just reciting it silently in your heart is enough to fight against so much hesitation and anxiety, against the world, and against the dark and gloomy self-loathing.
For the first time, Pei Ji felt that he was bathed in light.
He saw the little him stand up and run towards her.
He would keep running toward her.
He devoted his life to it.
Pei Ji hugged her and cried loudly without any restraint.
*
After returning from a business trip, Shen Zhiyi discovered that Pei Ji had become more clingy than before.
Follow her everywhere.
"Baby, can I move in with you?"
He lay on her sofa and refused to go back.
Shen Zhiyi didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Your house is so big, why are you squeezing into this small rental house with me?"
"I like it here." Pei Ji pulled her over, held her in his arms, and rested his head on hers like a big doll.
"I like you."
"I want to stay with you."
He almost fell in love with everything here.
Small bedposts, soft carpets, lace curtains fluttering in the wind by the window, fresh flowers on the table that change at any time, and sheets that are baked and dried...
Everything has a concrete name for her.
--happiness.
He wants to stay with her forever.
Shen Zhiyi turned her head and saw his affectionate eyes behind his gold-rimmed glasses, and curled her lips helplessly.
"Well."
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