“Li Heng…” she called softly.
Li Heng closed his eyes briefly, then abruptly took half a step back. "You saw it all, me, and my family..."
This mess is utterly awful and disgusting...
He let go of her hand.
"You can leave now."
For the first time, he hated that he could hear her innermost thoughts.
That leaves him no chance to even lie to himself.
If he heard the disgust that arose in her heart... he didn't know how to face it.
Why would he think that?
[Why is he blaming himself when I showed up uninvited?]
What nonsense are you talking about?
Shen Zhiyi grabbed his hand again, "What does your family have to do with you?"
"How can it be nothing?!" Li Heng's chest heaved, the bloodstains on his eyelashes blurred into a mass, as heavy as his life. "No one will love someone like me."
"It shouldn't be, and it doesn't deserve to be."
He recalled how he had just stood by and watched Li Changgui die, and he felt no remorse at all. He even hoped that the debt collectors would beat him badly, even to death.
He had long since begun to decay, even in his very soul.
But……
He was pleased with the outcome.
Even saying these things to her was merely to elicit her sympathy and pity, so that she wouldn't hate him.
Corrupted blood, dark and wicked thoughts, and a burgeoning ambition...
He coldly observed himself in this state, and a deep sense of disgust arose in his heart.
But he hoped she wouldn't hate him for it.
Li Heng lowered his head, a very slight self-deprecating smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.
Looking at his expression, Shen Zhiyi suddenly realized and said, "I understand."
"You're afraid that if I see you standing by and watching your father die, it will make you have bad thoughts about yourself, right?"
Li Heng suddenly looked up at her.
Shen Zhiyi laughed, "I thought you were worried about something."
"I'm a school bully who does all sorts of evil deeds. Do you really expect me to have so much love, respect for the elderly and care for the young, and concern myself with other people's lives?"
"Besides, he is an old man who has no respect for his elders and does not deserve my pity at all."
He had such a father and such a family, yet he got to where he is today through his own abilities step by step. He is truly remarkable.
He should appreciate and praise himself; how could he possibly dislike himself?
My little dog should know how to affirm itself.
He deserves all the rewards.
She pulled him closer, stared intently at him, and said, "Li Heng, what kind of person he is has nothing to do with you."
"As for what other people think, you don't need to care, because likes and dislikes are based on the same principle. No matter what kind of person you are, there will be people who like you or hate you."
"Just like you are handsome, I like you very much."
"But Dou Tianzong must be so angry about your face that he can't sleep."
"Are you going to get plastic surgery just because he's annoying?"
"Even if you become ugly, he will still hate you, so don't change yourself for others, and don't be harsh on yourself because of others."
"That has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of person you are."
"I won't define you because of this."
Li Heng parted his lips slightly, his eyes filled with shock.
"Young Miss..."
Would she have been so accommodating and forgiving of him before?
A pang of guilt surged in Li Heng's heart, and he lowered his eyelashes as if he couldn't bear the tenderness in her eyes.
"sorry."
Shen Zhiyi shook her head. "You haven't done anything to wrong me."
Li Heng felt a sharp pain in his chest.
He held out his hand to show her his watch, the edge of which had been chipped by a shard of a broken bottle.
The light from the electronic screen cast a shadow on the small bumps at the edge, creating a play of light and shadow.
Shen Zhiyi saw a very small pit.
It's completely harmless.
But he acted as if he had done something terribly wrong, blaming himself, "I broke the things that the young lady gave me."
Shen Zhiyi's heart clenched suddenly.
She cupped his face in her hands, looked into his eyes, and said, word by word, "This is just a watch."
"To me, what is precious is you, Li Heng."
"This watch only became meaningful because I gave it to you."
"Without you, it is nothing."
"Li Heng, you are more precious than anything else in this world."
Li Heng was deeply shocked.
He looked at her gentle, watery eyes, and the corners of his eyes slowly reddened.
He reached out and covered the back of her hand, then leaned down and hugged her tightly.
He wanted to tell her no.
He is the worst thing in the world.
But because of her, he doesn't seem so bad anymore.
She is precious.
No one can compare to her.
Li Heng closed his eyes, tears sliding down his cheeks, mingling with the bloodstains on his eyelashes, flowing down his face like a bloodstain flowing from his heart.
He wondered why he was so lucky to encounter such a bright spot of light in this dark and twisted life.
How can he let go?
He would never let go, even if it meant his death.
"Don't you think I'm dirty, Miss?" he asked in a low, muffled voice.
"dirty?"
Shen Zhiyi patted his shoulder, and in Li Heng's loosened embrace, pointed to the bloodstains on his cheek and the corner of his lips, tilting her head and saying, "You mean these wounds on your body?"
She smiled gently, a slight smile playing on her lips.
"This is what your courage shows you when it helps you defy fate."
"This is a reminder to keep going, a reminder that you will never be defeated, your incredibly strong core."
"How could it be dirty?"
She tiptoed and gently kissed his lips.
In Li Heng's trembling eyes, she licked open his lips, her tongue entwining with his wounds and bloodstains.
She pressed her lips to his and whispered, "I've already kissed you."
"Now, do you still feel dirty?"
Li Heng felt as if his heart had been struck hard.
In the stillness of the night, he could clearly see her features and her heart, as pure and bright as moonlight.
The overwhelming affection in his heart almost suffocated him.
He cupped her face, pressed her against the wall, and kissed her passionately without restraint.
"Hmm... Li Heng..."
Li Heng's strength was profound.
With the determination to imbue her with his own flavor, he licked her lips and tongue, teasing and tasting her again and again.
He wanted her to be filled with his scent inside and out.
All the pain is not enough to cover the moment I possess and have won her heart.
No words can define his feelings for her at this moment.
That's not just possessiveness.
Rather, it is a deeper yearning, a yearning that intertwines protection and destruction.
Perhaps that is called a "weak point," or a "concept."
Regardless of the interpretation, he was determined to secure a place in her heart.
Shen Zhiyi's legs went weak from his kisses. She grabbed his collar and mumbled, "You should...you should go to the hospital..."
He swallowed her suggestion.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing close to her.
"Miss is mistaken."
Stray hairs obscured his eyebrows and eyes. Li Heng's breath was hot, and he said in a hoarse voice, "I should have taken Miss to another place."
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