Chapter 77 Depression: Life and Death Shared, an Endless Entanglement.
Since the last fuss, Lan Jia has cooled down for a while and has stopped making a fuss about finding medicine.
She knew that no matter how much she begged, they wouldn't give it to her. Worse still, she began to fear injections, fear being touched, fear of being treated like a worthless object, manipulated at will. Lan Jia thought that if she had been more obedient, perhaps those people wouldn't have treated her this way.
During her time of blindness, she became unusually timid and sensitive, with an almost neurotic fear of everything around her.
After being taken to the top of the Park Hyatt, Meng Cenjun replaced all the people around her. She couldn't see their faces or know their intentions. Being surrounded by these strangers all day was a terrifying thing.
Meng Cenjun was the only person she knew on this isolated island.
She began to depend on him again, and even became more and more dependent on him.
But this only applies when you're in a daze.
When she occasionally regains her senses, she always thinks sadly that her current inability to leave him is merely a helpless act born of desperation.
He wanted to isolate her, leave her with no one to rely on, and make sure she couldn't escape his grasp.
She felt a mixture of terror and sadness at Meng Cenjun's increasingly controlling nature.
Lan Jia had no idea how long she had been trapped here, and her eyes showed no signs of improvement. Meanwhile, other parts of her body were starting to feel strange.
As usual, Zhou Ma gave her a bath in the evening. She sat in the bathtub, letting her mother hold her arm and wipe her body. It was already autumn, and her skin was always very dry at this time of year. Seeing this, Zhou Ma got up to find some essential oil to moisturize her.
She left, leaving Lan Jia alone in the bathroom. She hugged her knees, soaking alone in the hot water; the bathtub faucet wasn't turned off properly, and water was dripping out.
Normally, this sound would be almost negligible. But since she lost her sight, her hearing had become exceptionally acute. The dripping water, each drop hitting the surface with increasing urgency, felt like thunder crashing into her heart, reverberating endlessly.
Lan Jia's heart pounded wildly, as if desperate to stop it all. She flailed her hands frantically, searching for the faucet, but couldn't find it. Instead, she splashed water everywhere. At the same time, the space seemed to shrink, the walls appearing to come alive, menacingly baring their fangs, all aimed at her. Suddenly, the ceiling seemed to collapse, burying her alive. She felt suffocated in the dark, cramped coffin, as if it were crushing her. Dizziness and nausea surged up like a clogged drain during a rainstorm, the stench rising in waves, reaching her feet, her chest, her mouth and nose, swallowing her completely…
In just a short while, Meng Cenjun finished her work and returned to her bedroom. As soon as she stepped in, she heard Lan Jia's miserable scream coming from the bathroom.
Just as Zhou Ma brought over the essential oil, she rushed to the bathroom upon hearing the sound and saw Meng Cenjun already at the bathtub, her hands trembling as she reached out to scoop Lan Jia out of the water.
"Lan Jia! Lan Jia!" He called her name repeatedly, pinching her cheeks, his voice trembling, "How are you? Don't scare your brother..."
Fortunately, she was discovered in time. Lan Jia coughed violently a few times before slowly regaining consciousness.
Meng Cenjun felt relieved and reached out to pick up the soaking wet Lan Jia.
Seeing this, Zhou Ma quickly unfolded a large bath towel and wrapped it tightly around Lan Jia's body.
The doctor came over and, after examining her, said there was nothing seriously wrong. Zhou's mother, who was blaming herself, calmed down a little after hearing this and brought a hairdryer to dry Lan Jia's hair.
Seeing that she was sitting there obediently, Meng Cenjun quietly left and asked the doctor to talk in the study.
Meng Cenjun was silent for a moment before asking, "Then what do I need to do?"
"Aside from medication, a familiar environment and the company of family and friends have a positive effect on the young lady's psychological well-being."
He fell silent, sitting under the bright light of the crystal chandelier, yet his whole being seemed dim.
When Lan Jia returned to the bedroom, she had been carefully cared for by Zhou Ma. She was soft, dry, and warmly half-lying in the quilt.
He had already washed up, lifted a corner of the blanket, and quietly got into bed.
Having shared a bed for so long, the two of them had become accustomed to it and had a strange illusion that they were married and had lived together for many years.
Although they never dated.
Perhaps that's the good thing about being family; you can naturally and appropriately skip many steps and go straight to the closest relationship.
Although it was bedtime, Lan Jia couldn't fall asleep as usual and needed Meng Cenjun to read to her.
Hearing the sound of pages turning, she called out, "Brother."
Meng Cenjun looked over, her eyes gentle.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked softly.
He stood there, gazing at her for a long while, before finally saying, despite his eyes stinging with tears, "It's done."
She turned to the side, reached out a hand, and slowly touched him, then touched his hand still wrapped in gauze. Immediately, her eyes filled with tears, and she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"I...I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't control myself."
"Please forgive me, okay? Forgive me."
Seeing her tears streaming down her face, his heart softened, and he said in a hoarse voice, "Shall I hold you?"
Lan Jia nodded.
He immediately pulled her into his arms, his other hand slipping under her knees like he was holding a newborn baby, careful and gentle, afraid of using too much force, but he loved her so much that he didn't know how to express his love. So he simply held her tightly in his arms, pressed against her, smelled her, and rubbed his cheek against the top of her soft, fluffy hair.
"How could I be angry with you? Lan Jia, how could I be angry with you..."
He murmured to himself, kissing her again and again.
Lan Jia curled up helplessly in his arms, her tears falling even harder. "Brother, am I going crazy now? Does everyone think I'm crazy? I have no idea what I'm doing..."
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I couldn’t control myself… I’m sorry, brother, I’m also sorry to Aunt Zhou, I shouldn’t have hurt you all…”
“It’s not your fault, Lan Jia. No one will blame you. You’re just sick, temporarily, and you’ll get better soon. Your brother is here, and he’ll always be with you.”
“But I feel like everything is terrible.” She rubbed her eyes and sobbed, “I don’t want to go to school anymore, I don’t want to work anymore… I can’t do anything right, I can’t do anything, I’ve messed up everything, I’m a complete failure.”
His heart ached for a moment, and with reddened eyes, he hugged her tightly: "It's okay, Lan Jia, you don't have to force anything. From now on, just do what you want to do, okay?"
“But that would be too selfish…” she sobbed even louder as she thought of those concerns. “I don’t want to become the useless, parasite, or irresponsible person they talk about.”
“I won’t allow anyone to say that about you, Lanca, and no one says you have to live a responsible life.”
"All I want is for you to be happy, to live a happy, healthy, and carefree life."
"Then let me do it, let me take responsibility for you."
“You don’t need to worry about anything, Lan Jia.”
"You are my sister, my only family. I will take care of you and bear everything for you."
"Just like ten years ago, let's rely on each other and live like this, okay?"
Lan Jia stopped talking, her eyelids half-closed, her moist eyelashes fluttering, and she leaned against his chest, looking very fragile and pitiful.
The two of them nestled together intimately. After some time, Meng Cenjun's soft voice drifted through the air:
"I love you."
Even if you don't love me, I will still love you.
I love you deeply.
Lan Jia did not respond.
I could hear her soft breathing; she had already closed her eyes and fallen asleep.
Meng Cenjun gently kissed her forehead, then pulled the blanket up to cover her completely.
The lights went out, plunging the room into darkness. He dared not move her any further, remaining seated without feeling any discomfort.
He held Lan Jia like an animal in nature holding its cub, cherishing her dearly, afraid she might melt or break. Only by holding her like this could he feel a sense of security and comfort.
It will be alright, everything will be alright.
He would never let go of her hand again.
Meng Cenjun was immersed in a kind of illusory and beautiful expectation, and slowly closed her eyes.
However, a few hours passed in the blink of an eye, and he felt as if he had stepped into thin air, and then suddenly woke up with a start.
In the darkness, he heard Lan Jia's suppressed, restrained sobs:
"It hurts so much... I'm in so much pain... Dad, Mom, why didn't you come to pick me up? Why didn't you take me with you?"
Meng Cenjun's hard-won heart was crushed to pieces again.
The next day was the weekend, and he personally took Lan Jia to the hospital for a follow-up examination.
As soon as he got off the elevator and arrived at the parking garage, Qiao Zimu happened to be waiting there. He was currently focused entirely on Lan Jia, and had even put aside his school affairs. Apart from completing the tasks assigned by his family, he would come to the Park Hyatt Golden Roof every few days. He never expected to run into him today.
He sat in the car and watched as Lan Jia was escorted out by a crowd. Her hair was disheveled, her face was pale, and she looked thin and frail, as if she had suffered some kind of torment.
As soon as Qiao Zimu saw her, tears welled up in his eyes. He immediately slammed the car door shut and rushed over in a hurry.
"Lan Jia! Lan Jia!" he shouted, trying to get closer to her, but Zuo Tai blocked him firmly.
Once Lan Jia was seated, Meng Cenjun gave her a look. Zuo Tai briefly stopped her, then let go. Qiao Zimu, seeing this, rushed over and frantically pounded on the car window with both hands: "Lan Jia, it's me! It's Xiao Qiao! I've come to see you, please respond to me!"
He patted for a while, then his voice trailed off: "Lan Jia...don't you recognize me?"
Inside the car, Meng Cenjun was draping a cashmere shawl over Lan Jia, who simply let him do as he pleased, her eyes fixed straight ahead like a puppet, unresponsive to anything.
Qiao Zimu's face turned deathly pale. After a few seconds of stunned silence, he suddenly exploded, yelling at Meng Cenjun, "What did you do to her, you bastard? How did she become like this? Huh? How come she doesn't even recognize me?"
"Meng Cenjun, you're shameless! You can't keep her locked up like this! Lan Jia has become like this, please let her go, I beg you, please let her go, please..."
Meng Cenjun didn't even bother to lift her eyelids, completely ignoring his crying and cursing, and coldly told the driver, "Drive."
The car started instantly and sped away.
Qiao Zimu was left far behind, chasing after them while crying and screaming without regard for his image:
Meng Cenjun heard everything, but he simply pulled Lan Jia into his arms with a blank expression, stroking her head with his large hand to comfort her.
The two huddled together in the back seat, motionless, like a pair of lovers entwined in each other's bones.
We will share the same bed in life and death.
Unending entanglement.
Author's note: I'm so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open. Goodnight everyone! [Poor face]
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