Chapter 52 X Enlightenment "You still want to go out and look?"
Meng Cenjun recalled his sexual awakening, which happened many years ago, but he has a good memory and every detail is clearly imprinted in his mind.
It was a sunny winter afternoon, the air warm and sweet, filled with the aroma of cinnamon and brown sugar baked in the sun. He also attended junior high school in the United States. Because of his young age and withdrawn personality, and fearing that he would not fit in and would have no one to take care of him, the Yi couple insisted on arranging for him to be placed in a host family, even though he was already quite independent at that time.
The family is a typical middle-class family. The husband runs a law firm with a friend, and every morning at 8:30, he drives his Camry to work. The wife is an optimistic housewife; their only son is a freshman at a state university, and her daily leisure activities include getting her hair permed, manicured, or walking her beloved Shih Tzu in the nearby park. But today is Thanksgiving, and from morning onwards, she has been excitedly preparing for the big dinner. After lunch, she went out shopping in high spirits. Therefore, only Meng Cenjun was at home.
Actually, as was his custom, he should have been out at this time. During holidays, he always liked to do his homework at a particular coffee shop in the afternoons. But since it was closed today, he decided not to go out. He was always like this; once he set his mind on a place, he would never look for a substitute unless it went out of business. To put it nicely, he was devoted; to put it bluntly, he was rigid. And it was precisely because of this that he witnessed something quite exciting that afternoon.
He was sitting at his desk by the window when he heard the sound of a key turning in the door, and two people came in laughing and joking.
"Are you sure no one is home?" It was a sweet, feminine voice.
"Don't worry, I spoke with Mommy on the phone, and Ewen definitely won't be there."
The speaker was the host's son, Tommy. A handsome, wicked, and dissolute young man.
Since Meng Cenjun moved into this house, even though he witnessed it firsthand, he still didn't know exactly how many girlfriends he had. A few he brought home as guests, and most he took to cheap hotels, but he was certain that the one standing outside the door now was definitely not one of those former girlfriends, such as Evelyn, Lily, or Jennifer.
The house was quiet, and the couple soon became entangled like licorice candy, kissing and touching each other all the way, stumbling into the bedroom. With a loud "bang," the door closed, and the two began to make love passionately on the small bed.
Muffled sounds, creaking and groaning. Just a wall away, certain unpleasant noises, like concentrated sulfide molecules, relentlessly penetrated every pore.
Eleven-year-old Meng Cenjun stood up and walked out expressionlessly.
If he stays here any longer, he will be completely corrupted.
He quietly turned the doorknob, walked down the hallway, reached the guest room, and finally escaped through the front door. That was his plan, but unfortunately, he had barely stepped out of the bedroom when he heard a sharp slap from next door. The girl yelled at Tommy in a shrill voice, "You bastard! You didn't use a condom?!"
The walnut door slammed against the wall with a bang, and a disheveled girl ran out, startled by the two legs in front of her. She looked up in a daze and met the gaze of Meng Cenjun, who was fleeing.
Tommy, who was only wearing a pair of red beach shorts, chased after them and was stunned for two seconds when he saw Meng Cenjun.
It was winter, but the weather was unusually fine. The linen curtains were all drawn back, and the sunlight streamed into the entire room, with golden dust floating in the air.
The light was so bright, it was as if it was deliberately designed to make him see everything clearly.
He saw Tommy's brief moment of surprise followed by nonchalance, saw Ella's mascara soaked with tears, and saw the mottled nail polish on one of her bare feet after she took off her cashmere socks.
Pigeon blood red, deep red, an eerie red.
Sex and love are dangerous.
Especially for women.
This was his most profound enlightenment.
Later, when the incident occurred, the usually calm and composed male homeowner returned home and nearly broke Tommy's spine.
Later, when the news reached the ears of the Yi couple, they arranged for him to stay in a new family overnight.
At a time of great emotional turmoil in their adolescence, they didn't want him to be negatively influenced while he was abroad alone.
In fact, no matter where he goes, he can't escape this sensitive topic.
Boys of this age are most interested in discussing games, bodies, pretty faces, and their private collections of erotic videos and magazines. When a group gathers, these topics inevitably come up.
As he entered high school and his body matured, driven by hormones, he became aware of his desires. He did try to relieve himself, once, twice, several times... but the pleasure gradually weakened and cooled.
He didn't understand why his peers were so enthusiastic about this, until one day someone came up to him, smiling and a little curious, and asked, "Ewen, do you have a crush on someone?"
His mind went blank.
The man then jokingly asked, "When you're doing that, and you're looking at the ceiling, who do you think of?"
It was late at night, and the ceiling was completely dark; there was nothing there.
"Open your eyes and think about it carefully again."
After showering, the lights were not turned on, and only a faint moonlight shone in the room. As Meng Cenjun moved around, everything in sight was black, getting darker and darker, like a vortex, like a black hole.
He inexplicably thought of a physics problem about the information paradox of black holes.
Later, he witnessed a series of terrible chain reactions caused by X, as well as those of people he knew well.
Invited to the party, he stood at a distance and watched as a group of people laughed and joked in the lush green yard, passing around a wrapped cigarette. A lighter lit the cigarette, the sparks igniting the tobacco and emitting an unpleasant smell, like burning plastic or incinerated garbage.
Meng Cenjun froze, resolutely turned around, and walked a long way away, feeling inexplicably nauseous.
Alcohol damages the nerves, cigarettes erode the lungs, and X is addictive and degenerate.
Human desires are a bottomless pit. Once you get a little involved, you want more and more, and in the end, like a gambler with bloodshot eyes, you lose all your wealth and are doomed.
From that moment on, he vowed to resist all temptations, to always keep a rational and clear mind, and to stand firmly atop the clouds.
But he never expected that more than a decade later, his younger sister, whom he had personally raised, would become the most irresistible temptation for him.
Lan Jia was unaware of his complex inner turmoil. Like a bird released from its cage, she excitedly explored every room on the second floor. Besides the study, media room, and gym, there were three ensuite bedrooms in addition to the master bedroom. She went into the master bedroom and looked around, first checking out the walk-in closet. Although it was smaller than the rest of the house, she was still quite satisfied.
The bed was king size, and Lan Jia plopped down in the sea of dark green silk, already planning how to fill her walk-in closet. She'd have to spend the night here eventually, but there was only one master bedroom… she thought happily, her mind wandering elsewhere.
She patted her flat stomach, which was now emaciated from hunger. Thinking about the progress in the kitchen, Lan Jia roused herself and went downstairs with light steps.
"Brother, do you still have dinner planned?"
She stood with her hands behind her back, smiling, her tone playful and cheerful.
When I got to the kitchen, all the ingredients had been washed and chopped and were neatly placed on the counter, but I didn’t see the stove being turned on.
Meng Cenjun, wearing only a white shirt, was sitting on a dining table chair, toying with a cardboard box in her hand with a gloomy expression.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she froze on the spot, too afraid to move.
"Come here," he said in a nonchalant tone.
Lan Jia instinctively gripped the hem of her dress, cold sweat gradually breaking out. Having been together for many years, she knew exactly when he was most angry.
Seeing that she didn't move, he finally looked up at her and asked, "Should I invite you over?"
She was pragmatic; like a sticky rice cake clinging to her feet, she slowly and steadily moved closer.
"Explain what this is?" He threw the pink cardboard box onto the marble countertop.
She lowered her head, like a student being punished, and answered softly, "Condom."
"So why is it here?"
"I bought it."
"Do you need it?"
"I thought it was chewing gum, so I just grabbed it randomly..."
Meng Cenjun almost laughed out of exasperation: "Don't you know Chinese, or don't you know English?"
Seeing that she couldn't get away with it, Lan Jia lowered her head even further. She hadn't expected that such a small prank would make him so angry.
"What were you thinking?" he asked calmly.
She clutched the embroidered daisies around the hem of her dress and honestly replied, "I've never bought or used them before; I'm just curious."
"Who's it for? You? Can you even handle it?"
Anyway, someone can use it. She muttered to herself, but didn't dare say it aloud.
With your head down and mouth shut, do you think you can just let this go?
Meng Cenjun glared at her irritably and warned in a stern voice, "You're not allowed to touch these things again."
"Why?"
"I don't think you need it right now."
"How do you know I didn't? Do you know anything about my body?" she finally mustered the courage to retort.
"I'm an adult, I have this need, so what? Is it a crime?"
"Yi Lanjia, are you challenging my bottom line?" His eyes were cold.
They had just agreed to proceed gradually, and he gave her time to think things through. Why did he change his mind so hastily? The order and balance he had just established were shattered by her reckless probing, which was very unsettling.
Having said all that, she didn't need to beat around the bush and asked directly, "Are we not compatible? Did you not enjoy the kiss? I was just reasonably suggesting taking it a step further, was that wrong? If you don't want to do it, fine, but why are you throwing such a tantrum?"
“That shouldn’t be now either.” He raised his voice slightly. “Yi Lanjia, get this straight, we’re discussing relationship issues, and this isn’t how you use time compression.”
"So you think I'm easy? That there's something wrong with my attitude? Or that I don't care about you?" If she didn't care about him, she wouldn't be begging him to come back!
Where did you get off topic this time?
"Alright, let's not talk about that for now. Let's talk about what just happened. You thought I didn't need it right now. What, do you think my body is up to you now? You think I can only have it whenever I want?"
"Yi Lanjia, do you think I'm a beast?" He was surprised that she had misinterpreted his words to this extent, and his face grew increasingly ugly.
Lan Jia wouldn't listen to a word, growing angrier with each word: "I'm in charge of my body, I can't wait, I'll follow my feelings, I want to live in the moment. You suppress me, stop me, destroy my feelings, and then you don't compensate me. How can you be so selfish?"
In the end, she made up her mind and said in a do-or-die manner, "Fine, even without you, there will be other opportunities in the future. I can still live a carefree and happy life!"
After listening, he gritted his teeth and asked, word by word, "You still want to go out and look?"
Author's Note: I'm running out of time, so I'll save the sweet parts for the next chapter. [pity]
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