Chapter 20 Children's Innocent Words: "It was just a kiss."...
What is this, a goodnight kiss from a child to an adult?
She clearly didn't grasp the seriousness of the situation.
Last time at the hotel, he assumed she had acted rashly and lost her composure. He could forgive her for her loose tongue and her unruly and immature behavior, but he couldn't continue to pretend nothing had happened and tolerate or condone such things happening again.
It was his fault in raising the child.
He needs to correct her in time.
Meng Cenjun turned serious and questioned, "What's wrong with you?"
Lan Jia blinked her moist eyes, and seeing the stern look in his eyes, her heart ached even more. But she didn't want to waste any more time on herself and continue this ambiguous cold war with him, so she mustered her courage and looked him straight in the eye: "I want to make peace."
"Brother, don't you understand? I'm trying to make things better for you."
She could no longer bear even the slightest rift between them. Even if it meant abandoning all her pride and lowering her head to show him kindness.
Meng Cenjun's face darkened. "Just now, did you realize what that meant?"
"It was just a kiss," Lan Jia whispered.
This was the only weakness she could exploit, Meng Cenjun's only weakness, and also the best way she could think of to break the ice.
She did the same thing after such a huge argument last time, and in the end, everything was fine.
She needs to adopt a method that has worked repeatedly.
Meng Cenjun's expression grew increasingly complicated.
Indeed, a kiss devoid of any desire.
The negative consequences of Western education? Does it subtly blur the lines between family and gender?
He was wrong.
The mistake was that they always avoided talking about this matter and failed to intervene in her growth in a timely manner.
Seeing her bewildered and pitiful expression, completely clueless, he ultimately couldn't bring himself to be overly harsh.
“Lan Jia.” He tightened his grip on her neck, gesturing for her to listen attentively. “First of all, I am your brother. Secondly, I am an adult of the opposite sex who is ten years older than you. I hope you understand that there should be a natural sense of boundaries between us.”
“But we are the closest family,” Lan Jia stubbornly retorted.
"But I'm not your lover. Some things can only happen between lovers, understand?"
"But you never allowed me to have a lover." Her eyes were red, and resentment finally crept into her voice.
As she grew older, she became increasingly distant from Meng Cenjun, and thus longed for a closer relationship.
She wanted to hold hands, to hug, to kiss, to experience the passionate, intimate, adrenaline-pumping love that girls her age should have.
Despite such a reasonable and appropriate request, Meng Cenjun was always reluctant to fulfill it.
Just like her favorite cake, which was sweet and tempting, he, under the guise of doing it for her own good, locked the cake in a cage, so that she could never see or eat it.
Lan Jia really felt that one day she would go crazy.
Seemingly reluctant to discuss the matter, Meng Cenjun lowered her eyes and denied it: "Lan Jia, I didn't mean to stop you from dating."
"You think I don't know what you've been doing behind my back?" Lan Jia glared at him resentfully.
In junior high, many boys showed interest in her, but overnight, their attitudes completely changed, and they began to avoid her.
In high school, at the age when love first blossoms, the boy she liked confessed his feelings to her in the small garden. Lan Jia was proud and agreed to think about it. However, the next day, he came to her door and told her, "I'm sorry, Lan Jia, I don't think we're a good match." She panicked and pressed him to tell her why, secretly regretting her hesitation and missed opportunity. But the boy only apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm not good enough for you."
With such precedents, she became even more silent in college, putting on a hedgehog-like shell in her interpersonal interactions. Over time, she became a cliff-dwelling plant that could only be admired from afar, and no one wanted to suffer for it.
Much later, she found the answer by chance in Meng Cenjun's study. There was a thick stack of documents, with background information on many people listed in detail. She looked at them carefully and suddenly felt a chilling sense of dread.
Those... were all people who had had close contact with her in the past.
Meng Cenjun pursed her lips, trying her best to salvage the situation, and explained seriously: "Lan Jia, I just think that studying is not a good time for you to fall in love. You are too young, you can't judge people clearly, you don't have the ability to discern, and you don't know how to avoid risks."
“You need to think long-term when doing things. You are young, and it’s no use to just indulge in the present. Lan Jia, I don’t want you to associate with people without knowing anything. Besides, you have no idea how much about yourself is something that people can take advantage of.”
I hate hearing his excuses.
She slapped his hand away, her eyes red with anger: "You always have so many high-sounding reasons!"
"Do you really have to think the worst of everyone?"
"I don't think there's anything wrong with facing your desires. Is it a sin to want to live as you please?"
Lan Jia burst into tears and broke down.
"Or do you simply look down on me, a person who suffers from lust? You suppress and restrain yourself, yet you expect everyone to be as abstinent as you?"
"I'm sorry, I could never do that!"
Her face flushed red as she argued with him so seriously and forcefully for the first time.
Meng Cenjun stared at her for a long, long time, and then, with utter helplessness, confessed to her: "Lan Jia, you have misunderstood me too much."
"From the past to the present, I have never looked down on you for a single moment."
Lan Jia felt she had nowhere to vent her resentment, her thoughts were in turmoil, and she spoke incoherently: "But...but you always make me feel bad, you make me cry, and you always make me doubt myself and wonder if I'm not doing enough."
"You never praise me, encourage me, or take pride in me!"
"You always have a cold face, like a strict parent who is never satisfied. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I still can't get a kind word from you."
As she spoke, she grew increasingly agitated and energized, pouring out all the grievances and frustrations she had accumulated over the years.
“You’ll always be looking down on me, criticizing me, and blaming me for always being disobedient. But Meng Cenjun, don’t forget, I’m not your child, not your personal possession to be manipulated, and certainly not a heartless machine. I’m a person! A person with independent thoughts, who can feel pain, loss, and hurt!” She wiped away her tears fiercely and continued, “I won’t allow you to boss me around anymore, and you have no right to order me around!”
"I want freedom! I want equality! I want you to treat me like an adult."
"From today onwards, I will not allow you to make decisions without my consent!"
Lan Jia stared at him angrily, each word piercing his heart:
"You know what? I hate your hypocritical brotherly act the most."
“Meng Cenjun, you don’t really care about me at all, and you don’t understand what I really want.”
Tears streamed down her face as she screamed her accusations, completely overwhelmed with emotion:
"You! You never really cared about me!"
After he finished speaking, there was a long silence.
Meng Cenjun simply looked at her, quietly and slowly, his gaze pale and thin, devoid of any weight.
In his more than thirty years of life, he seemed to have never experienced such a lack of language.
He opened his mouth, but his throat felt like it was being burned by hot coals, and he could only vomit hoarsely.
How could he not care about her?
How could he not want what's best for her?
She had no idea how much effort he had put into her.
Meng Cenjun felt as if a sharp axe was ripping open his belly, smashing him from his chest to his abdomen, shattering his liver and gallbladder, and tearing his flesh and blood apart.
Pain is like a demon.
But he didn't even have the strength to scream.
They had no choice but to carefully piece together their broken bodies, stiffly stand up, and use their last bit of strength to escape this horrific slaughterhouse.
He turned around, conveniently hiding his already red and vulnerable eyes.
"Then so be it."
Meng Cenjun left those words with difficulty and slowly walked out the door.
Lan Jia glanced at his retreating figure through teary eyes, then curled up, burying her wet face in her palms.
She was overwhelmed by immense grievances and remorse.
It's over, everything is over.
This was the first time she had ever seen him with such a heartbroken expression.
At first, she just wanted to make up with him, but how did it end up like this?
She couldn't help but hurl insults at him again.
No, he can't have gone far.
Lan Jia hurriedly chased after him; she wanted to find him and tell him that she didn't mean it!
She wiped away her tears, but continued to cry as she walked out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, her bare feet stepping onto the plush carpet, the teak floor, and then onto the cold Brazilian marble of the hallway. She stood there, frail and alone, watching Meng Cenjun walk towards the bedroom.
"elder brother……"
She stood not far away, speaking in a flustered manner.
However, he only glanced at her indifferently, turned the doorknob, went inside, and then closed the door tightly.
A complete and utter rejection.
His figure disappeared.
Her home was on the verge of collapse from that moment on.
Lan Jia clenched her fists, her thin shoulders trembling. She lowered her head, tiny water droplets from her hair dripping onto the floor like a gloomy, damp acid rain.
Pain is like the tide, rising at dusk and receding at dawn.
Life goes on.
Despite arguing until midnight, the two still appeared in the dining room on time the next morning.
The atmosphere at the dinner table was unusually tense. The servants of the Yi family held their breath and carefully placed the freshly baked bread and vegetable salad on the table.
Lan Jia, with swollen eyes, listlessly forked at the raspberries on her plate without saying a word.
Halfway through my meal, I glanced at Meng Cenjun sitting diagonally across from me. He was drinking coffee and reading a magazine with a blank expression, as if nothing had happened.
Lan Jia lowered her eyes. She knew that Meng Cenjun had reverted to his usual rational, indifferent, and invincible self.
He finished eating quickly, straightened his cuffs as usual, took the ironed suit jacket from Aunt Ming, and walked out the door without looking back.
Lan Jia didn't chase after him like she did yesterday. She just felt so tired. She finished her breakfast in silence and walked silently to the villa entrance, where Zuo Tai picked her up to go to the film set.
She learned her lesson today, tying her hair up neatly, wearing only a simple T-shirt and denim shorts, and carrying a low-key canvas bag over her shoulder.
When they arrived at the urban village, she asked Zuo Tai to park the car a little further away so she could walk to the film set. He agreed and parked the car under a large banyan tree.
Lan Jia got out of the car, looked at the long stone road in front of her, took a deep breath, and began to trek. However, after walking a few steps, she still couldn't see Zuo Tai.
She turned around and saw the burly man standing beside the car, watching her leave.
Aren't you coming?
Zuo Tai clasped his hands together respectfully and said, "As the master has said, from today onwards, I will only be responsible for picking you up and dropping you off; I don't need to stay by your side."
Author's Note: I swear, this is the last argument we'll have for a while. [Pity][Pity]
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