Gu Yan dragged his body, which seemed to have been ripped out of its soul, back to the Lu family's old residence.
The moment he stepped into the living room, Gu Hongxi came over anxiously. "Son, you're back? Mom made you some hangover soup."
"I don't want to drink," Gu Yan said weakly, his face showing exhaustion, his dull eyes filled with numbness and confusion, before he walked towards his room on his own.
The door slammed shut. He collapsed to the floor like a puppet that had lost its support, his back against the edge of the bed, his face contorted with pain and struggle.
"Son, what's wrong? Open the door." Gu Hongxi knocked on the door anxiously, her voice filled with obvious worry and unease.
I want to be alone.
At this moment, Gu Yan's heart was filled with resistance, and he didn't want to see Gu Hongxi again. In his heart, it was her abandonment that caused him to lose normal emotional cognition, turning him into a psychologically disabled and personality-incomplete person.
However, Gu Hongxi did not give up. She kept knocking on the door, saying, "Son, open the door. Tell me what's wrong. Keeping it inside will make you sick."
As Gu Yan listened to Gu Hongxi's calls from inside the room, his heart began to soften.
Yes, if you keep bottling it up, your mental health issues will likely worsen.
He really needs to speak out and actively seek treatment in order to have any chance of rediscovering himself.
Thinking of this, Gu Yan slowly stood up, dragged his heavy steps, and went to open the door.
The moment Gu Yan opened the door, Gu Hongxi's anxiety and heartache intensified. Gu Yan, however, sat back down in the spot he had been in on the floor.
Gu Hongxi rushed into the room, squatted down, and tightly grasped Gu Yan's arm with both hands. Her eyes were full of anxiety, and her voice trembled as she asked, "Son, what happened?"
Gu Yan lowered his head, his hair obscuring his eyes, making it impossible to see his expression. His lips were tightly pressed together, as if he was hesitating, unsure of how to begin.
"Is it because of that boy?" Gu Hongxi asked tentatively.
Gu Yan nodded slightly, his movements very gentle, as if this nod had taken all his strength.
"What was his name again?" Gu Hongxi continued to ask.
When Gu Yan said the name "Wang Boyang," his heart felt as if it had been pierced by a sharp thorn, a sharp pain shooting through him.
"Didn't you say before that you were pretending to be together to spite me?" Gu Hongxi asked, her tone filled with doubt.
Gu Yan said slowly, "That day he suddenly said he liked me, that he loved me."
"So you like him too?" Gu Hongxi stared intently at Gu Yan, not missing a single subtle expression on his face.
"I...I don't know, he's gone, I'm so sad. I—" Gu Yan's voice was choked with sobs, the pain seeming to engulf him completely.
"Do you think your relationship can last? If I agree, what will his parents think? If you get together despite all obstacles, but it doesn't last, you'll only hurt each other and your families for nothing." Gu Hongxi's words were rational, but her eyes were full of worry.
Gu Yan remained silent, lost in deep thought. Would it last? A lifetime is so long, and the future is full of too many uncertainties. He didn't know the answer.
“Everyone will have many lovers in their life, and everyone will experience heartbreak before finding the next one. Just think of it as a one-sided unrequited love that ended without a trace, and one day you will let it go,” Gu Hongxi tried to comfort Gu Yan.
"I don't know if I really like him." Gu Yan looked up, his eyes filled with confusion and bewilderment. This was the crux of the problem. He didn't care about his sexual orientation, nor did he care about societal norms. What troubled him was the true nature of his feelings for Wang Boyang.
"Why do you say that?" Gu Hongxi's tone became even gentler.
"I think there's something wrong with me. I'm terrified of someone I depend on leaving me. I've never had those feelings for him, but when he tries to distance himself from me, I feel so much pain." Gu Yan's voice trailed off, and his body trembled slightly.
Having said that, Gu Hongxi seemed to understand Gu Yan's meaning. Her eyes were filled with guilt, and tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, it's Mom's fault."
Gu Hongxi couldn't help but sob for a while. She tried to adjust her breathing and calm herself down, her voice trembling slightly as she said, "We'll go see the doctor tomorrow. It will be alright, son." Her tone was both firm and filled with deep pity for her son.
Gu Yan raised his head, his gaze meeting Gu Hongxi's. A glimmer of hope flashed in his eyes, and he nodded gently.
Gu Hongxi sighed softly and said slowly, "I want to buy a house in S City. Let's move out. It's always inconvenient to live in someone else's house."
"Hmm." Gu Yan responded simply. Actually, he didn't want to stay any longer. Li Peiyu and his father were always so affectionate, and he felt awkward watching them.
"I've made an appointment with the real estate agent. Tomorrow we'll go see the doctor first, and then look at houses," Gu Hongxi carefully explained the subsequent arrangements to Gu Yan.
"Hmm." Gu Yan's reply was still brief, his eyes lowered, seemingly lost in thought.
"Son, go take a shower. I'll stay until you fall asleep before I leave. It's easy to overthink when you're alone, and it's easy to have insomnia." Gu Hongxi looked at Gu Yan gently, her eyes full of love.
"Okay." Gu Yan answered with a slightly stronger tone this time, then got up and walked towards the bathroom.
Gu Yan went into the bathroom, and soon the sound of running water could be heard. Gu Hongxi sat on the edge of the bed, her heart filled with mixed emotions. Thinking about the suffering her son had endured over the years, her eyes involuntarily reddened again.
After a while, Gu Yan came out wearing his pajamas after taking a shower. Gu Yan lay down on the bed, and Gu Hongxi tucked him in and sat on the edge of the bed, gently patting him.
Under Gu Hongxi's comforting words, Gu Yan's mood gradually calmed down, and his eyelids grew heavier and heavier. After an unknown amount of time, Gu Yan finally fell into a deep sleep, emitting even breathing sounds.
Gu Hongxi gazed at her son's peaceful sleeping face for a long time. The little boy had grown into a young man, his once tender face now possessing defined features. She had missed Gu Yan's growth; she had been a bad mother. But fate had been kind to her. Gu Yan was a good son, understanding her, forgiving her, and willing to give her another chance to make amends.
After leaving Gu Yan's room, Gu Hongxi searched online for several reliable psychological counseling centers, carefully analyzed and compared them, and finally chose one with a good reputation in all aspects.
The next morning, after breakfast, Gu Hongxi took Gu Yan to the psychological counseling center.
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