Chapter 25: When the plums are ripe, the gardenias smell fragrant
Chapter 25: When the plums are ripe, the gardenias smell fragrant
The coolness spreading in the night disturbed the mist and thick clouds in the daytime, and ripples appeared on the water in the pond inadvertently; the candlelight and incense also swayed gently in the celadon cup, and the breeze and drizzle drifted obliquely into this quiet place through the open window lattice.
I only know that - "The parasol trees are accompanied by drizzling rain, which continues till dusk. How can I describe the sorrow with just one word, 'sorrow'?"
When the morning light passed through the window lattice, it cast the shadows of the two green bamboos in the coarse pottery vase on the windowsill onto the plain Song brocade quilt, blending in with a few clusters of pink and white magnolia embroidery in the light and shadow, making the bamboo shadows sway gently and disturbing the sleeping person.
It had been a long time since Chi Shu woke up naturally. For once, without the urging of an alarm clock or the panic of his phone running out of battery, he woke up early. However, in these few minutes of waking up early, he felt a sense of confusion for various reasons.
It was she who wrote the "farewell letter" with such sadness;
But she was also the one who cried silently until she was exhausted because of the letter.
Chi Shu rubbed his dizzy head and swollen eyes. As soon as he turned his head, he saw the light rain falling from the sky, hitting the carved wooden window panes beside the desk. The fine rustling sound seemed as if someone was counting the hours.
She was in a daze for a few minutes before she threw off the quilt and got up. Just as she picked up her phone to charge it, she heard a ringtone.
It was Ji Jinyi calling.
Chi Shu answered the call: "Hello, Mom." As soon as she spoke, she realized her voice was unusually hoarse. She cleared her throat before responding to the question on the other end of the line: "A little bit. Maybe I caught a cold."
The recent weather has indeed had a large temperature difference between day and night, so Ji Jinyi didn't care much. "I just heard you guys are on vacation. I'm still on a business trip in South City, and your Aunt Ming won't be back from visiting her family for a few days. You can dine at Shiweifang for the next few days." He only added at the end: "If you feel unwell, go to the hospital."
Chi Shu's voice was still hoarse, and he couldn't help but cough lightly before replying, "Okay, I understand."
Ji Jinyi also heard the cough, but she didn't say anything.
Perhaps it was the sudden, unexplained uneasiness she felt today, or perhaps it was the guilt she felt for not spending time with him all these years that led to her sudden concern today. She finally came up with a topic that could barely be considered heartwarming:
"Now that you're on vacation at home, you can go out and relax after studying. Ask your friends to go out and have fun together. If you need money, just tell me."
Chi Shu sniffed his gradually clogged nasal cavity, clasped his phone tightly with his fingers, and said in a nasal voice: "Okay, thank you, Mom, you..."
When sick, Chi Shu's psychological defenses became even more fragile, causing him to instinctively want to get closer to some heat source, even if it wasn't warm enough. But before he could get close, the heat source went out.
Ji Jinyi still felt a little uncomfortable with such unfamiliar and caring words today. She was inexplicably confused and bewildered, so she tried to end the call and said, "Okay, I have something else to do. Call me if you have any questions."
…
Chi Shu put down his phone dejectedly, his whole body filled with unconcealable frustration.
She simply took off a long cardigan and put it on, then walked around the rosewood dressing table with a dizzy head, walked over and pushed open the floor-to-ceiling window on the balcony on the other side, walked up the light beige cobblestone steps to the viewing room next to the rose wall, curled up on the cushioned rattan chair, and the first thing that caught her eye were the flowers and trees scattered on the ground in the puddles after the rain.
Perhaps it was the changing climate that made people feel a little melancholic, or perhaps it was the illness that made them vulnerable. In short, at this moment, Chi Shu's mind was flashing through countless memories like slides. The rapidly spinning fragments of memory made her feel even more dizzy and her eyes sore.
Suddenly, the words "Please don't let me down!" leaped into her mind among so many words she had said before, causing her to shudder.
Yes, she has to work harder to acquire skills that she can rely on, so that she doesn't have to be someone's vassal.
It was her fortune to meet Feng Yichen, but she couldn't predict the future. She couldn't let herself get so caught up in it that she forgot the direction to move forward, and she couldn't let herself become a burden because of her "lack of skills."
At this moment, a sudden burst of urgent ringing sound suddenly woke up the sick and worried man.
Chi Shu came back to her senses and picked up her phone. When she saw the familiar name, her gradually calm heart suddenly felt like thousands of pebbles were thrown into it, beating a boiling drumbeat in her chest.
For a moment she couldn't believe that it was Feng Yichen who called.
What kind of mood was he in at this moment when he dialed her number?
Chi Shu had no idea, but her heart was already in a panic. Her fingers trembled slightly as she answered Feng Yichen's call, but she didn't have the courage to speak. She felt that the blockage in her throat was worse than being sick.
Then she heard Feng Yichen's voice coming from the other end of the phone: "It's me."
These two words were so light, but Chi Shu suddenly felt his throat tighten and his breathing become difficult: "Yeah, I know."
Feng Yichen wanted to say something else, but when he heard Chi Shu's voice, his tone instantly changed to a concerned question:
"What's wrong with your throat? Do you have a cold?"
"It's okay. It might be due to the weather change. It won't affect anything." The same question, but a different answer. Chi Shu just wanted to quickly pass by this topic.
Because she was afraid that what she would receive was his concern, she would not be able to make firm decisions.
But the person opposite him was Feng Yichen, and he could not ignore her, let alone be indifferent to her. He still said with concern:
"Your voice is already so hoarse. Have you taken any medicine? Is there anyone taking care of you now?"
Chi Shu was silent for a moment, and could only answer honestly: "It's just a minor cold."
Finally, he added: "It's okay, it won't affect you. Just rest for a while and you'll be fine."
She was frantic inside—she no longer knew what nonsense she was babbling about.
If that was the case, then it meant that neither of them existed. The voice on the other end of the line fell silent again.
Feng Yichen's knuckles tapped slowly and rhythmically on the steering wheel, and after a moment he spoke:
"Chi Shu, I'm at your door."
Hearing his words, Chi Shu's heart beat violently:
"...Why are you here?"
Feng Yichen looked at the scenery outside the courtyard through the windshield. Some memories came to his mind, making him feel a palpitation for no reason. He said frankly:
"I was originally planning to take you to the suburbs to relax, but now, if you need, I can accompany you to the hospital to see a doctor."
Some things seem to be beyond expectations.
Chi Shu originally thought that after that letter, they would no longer have any intersection, nor should they have any intersection, but the current situation made her feel a little confused and at a loss:
"Feng Yichen...have you read the letter I wrote to you?"
The calm mirror that he tried so hard to maintain collapsed at this moment——
Feng Yichen's tone was only slightly more urgent than before:
"Chi Shu, if you want to say goodbye, at least tell me face to face and in person, seriously. That would be worthy of our years of acquaintance. Even if you feel this kind of friendship is 'light as a feather,' the words 'take care of yourselves' would make it hard for me to breathe and would crush me. Do you really want to be so cruel to me?"
His voice came through the two phone screens clearly, vibrating Chi Shu's eardrums fiercely, causing her tears to flow silently and run down her cheeks, but she tried her best to maintain a calm voice:
"Feng Yichen, I'm really sorry. But the road ahead is still long, and it's not worth wasting your time."
Unable to see her expression, only hearing her calm tone, Feng Yichen couldn't help but smile bitterly:
“Whether it’s worth it or not depends on what the person who pays feels in their heart.”
His heart wall was almost collapsing, but he still suppressed his depressed mood and said in a warm and concerned voice:
"But your health is more important right now. No matter what, you have to see a doctor first. Let's talk about your condition first. I'll wait for you at the door. If you have anything to say, we should at least meet in person."
Even though her words were resolute, she couldn't continue to be indifferent to Feng Yichen. Furthermore, Feng Yichen had repeatedly accommodated her. Even in the current situation, he still considered her and put her first. It would be a lie to say she wasn't moved.
She was indeed feeling dizzy and her thoughts were a little unclear. Since it was already so complicated, she decided to meet him and talk about it.
She supported herself on the edge of the rattan chair and stood up, but she found that the familiar pain in her lower abdomen was extremely strong. She uttered a few hoarse syllables to the other end of the phone:
"Then... please wait for me for a moment."
Worried that she would rush over because she didn't want to keep people waiting, Feng Yichen reminded her gently:
"Well, take your time. There's no need to rush."
After hanging up the phone, Feng Yichen tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He hadn't paid attention last night due to the hazy night, but this morning while waiting quietly at the door, he took a closer look at the scenery at the entrance of the garden.
However, he had just called twice in a row and heard the "call in progress" prompt tone each time. He thought they would never see each other again. However, when the call was connected and he heard her voice, all his depression and sorrow disappeared in an instant, and what followed was only concern and worry.
He felt that he was so deeply trapped in this emotion that he could not save himself.
And now, as he peered through the car window past the carved wooden door, eagerly watching Chi Shu appear at the corner of the winding bluestone path, walk along a small pond stacked with several Taihu stones, and pass through the moon-shaped door where bamboo shadows swayed and light and shadows flowed, and slowly approach him, his heart was lifted up. In that moment, he really felt that he had no way to deal with her at all -
I don’t know how she managed to become so haggard, pale and weak in just one day and one night.
When he saw her figure appear, Feng Yichen had already gotten out of the car and walked quickly to wait at the door. Now standing in front of her at a close distance, he vaguely noticed that her eyes hidden behind the sunglasses were a little swollen.
Thus, all the words that had been turning over and over in his mind disappeared at this moment.
He just said softly: "Get in the car first."
Then he walked to the car with her, calmly opened the passenger door and helped her in, then quickly sat in the driving seat, started the car and drove towards the nearest hospital.
Neither of them took the initiative to find a topic to talk about, so the car was unusually quiet.
One is that I can’t bear to say anything more.
One is that I don’t know how to say it.
After arriving at the main entrance of the hospital and parking the car, Feng Yichen unbuckled his seat belt and turned his head to look at Chi Shu.
She hadn't woken up yet, with her arms folded on her abdomen. The car's movement made her sleep uncomfortable and restless, and her movements caused some wrinkles on her light grey wool knitted hooded cardigan and calf-length dress.
At this moment, her face was no longer so pale, but there was an abnormal blush on her face. Feng Yichen leaned towards her and reached out to touch her forehead, but was unexpectedly frightened by the heat on her forehead.
He had no choice but to wake her up directly, and then hurried over to help her out of the car. These few steps were obviously not enough time for her to wake up, but Feng Yichen didn't expect her to faint directly, so he immediately picked her up by the waist and walked towards the emergency department...
Because of Chi Shu, Feng Yichen felt the word "heart-stirring" to the fullest this morning.
Now, watching Chi Shu lying on the hospital bed with a haggard face receiving an IV drip, he recalled what the doctor had just said - the syncope was caused by the combined effects of high fever, low blood sugar, and primary dysmenorrhea...
I remembered how lightly I held her just now, almost without feeling her weight, and then I saw her red eyes, which were prominent in her pale face and still swollen...
He couldn't help but put the sunglasses in his hand on the locker beside the bed, moved the chair and leaned closer to stroke the strands of hair on her temples that were soaked with sweat and her haggard face. Suddenly, he felt as if dense needles were piercing his heart and flesh.
This heartache made him feel extremely uncomfortable, and his mood became increasingly depressed.
In the silent ward, one could faintly hear his sighs and murmurs: "Chi Shu, what should I do with you?"
…Time tried to slip away quietly. Outside the window, the rain began to fall again, its intensity growing. The raindrops pattered against the transparent windowpane. The raindrops also boiled on the terrace outside the window, creating a "da da" rhythm of drums, recording only the footprints of time…
Perhaps because he had not slept well last night due to being sad all night, coupled with these unexpected situations, Chi Shu did not wake up until almost noon.
She turned her head and saw only her phone charging on the nearby locker. The ward was extremely quiet, so quiet that the only sound she could hear was the sound of rain outside the window.
The complex emotions caused by multiple factors made her feel more fragile and insecure as she lay alone in the ward. She instinctively wanted to sit up, but when she moved, she found that she felt pain all over her body, and suddenly she remembered everything that happened this morning.
If it weren't for the medical tape on her hands, she would almost think that being here was just a dream.
When she was frowning, Feng Yichen pushed open the half-open door of the ward and walked in.
The first time he saw him, Chi Shu felt inexplicably relieved.
Feng Yichen had just finished a phone call and was relieved to see her wake up. He approached her and asked in a gentle voice, "How are you feeling now? Are you still feeling unwell?"
Chi Shu was about to respond, but her voice was still hoarse, as if countless grains of sand were rubbing against her throat, causing her vocal cords to hurt. She shook her head and replied:
"Much better, thank you."
Feng Yichen reached out his hand to test the temperature of her forehead, and then observed that she was not feeling unwell before moving his hand away and asking:
"Are you hungry? I saw you haven't woken up yet, and I was worried about you leaving, so I ordered takeout, which will be here soon. Fill your stomach first, and if you want more later, we can get something else, okay?"
He spoke these words as if he was coaxing a child. Chi Shu blinked and nodded without saying anything.
Seeing her nod in confusion, Feng Yichen smiled, turned around and poured a cup of hot water. Seeing that her eyes had been glued to him for a long time, he couldn't help but chuckle and asked:
"What's wrong? Did you sleep for too long and forget about me?"
Chi Shu still had the illusion of being in a trance. When Feng Yichen approached to help her up, she subconsciously raised her hand to pull his sleeve, but it seemed as if she couldn't touch him. She asked softly:
"Don't you blame me?" Why are you still so nice to me?
Feng Yichen sighed deeply upon hearing this, knowing what she was referring to. After a pause, he said:
"I felt resentful, but once I digested this emotion, I realized that maybe it wasn't your fault. The reasons behind it were perhaps even more complex and difficult to explain. So, I blamed myself even more for not thinking things through."
How could a person be so considerate? What had she done to deserve such kindness?
Chi Shu opened his mouth but was already choked with sobs. He hurriedly looked away and lowered his head in an attempt to suppress his emotions.
Feng Yichen's heart was broken at the moment, but he restrained himself from rushing to hug her. He just gently covered her black hair and stroked it, saying softly, "I'm so sorry, so sorry."
"Since it's so difficult, then put aside those things that bother you for now and allow yourself to live solely in the present moment. Speaking of which, there's a Zen poem by Shiwu Qinggong, a prominent Yuan Dynasty Caodong monk, called 'Mountain Dwelling Poems.' Perhaps you can appreciate its philosophical ideas later, but your first priority right now is to eat well."
Due to her complicated physical condition at the moment, we can only give her some basic nutrition and energy supplements, and her food can only be light for the time being.
Feng Yichen felt even more distressed about this, but he was powerless to do anything.
He had been furious today, knowing she'd cried until her eyes were red and swollen, hadn't slept well the previous night, hadn't taken any serious health issues seriously, hadn't taken her medicine or eaten breakfast. He recounted every one of these incidents, and not a single one of them made him feel better.
She seemed to have no appetite now, but her complexion was much better than before.
Now, seeing her eating obediently, his heart softened again.
Seeing her finish her meal slowly, Feng Yichen handed her another warm wet tissue. While tidying up the dishes and the table, he looked at her and asked, "Will there be anyone at home to take care of you when you get home later?"
Chi Shu unconsciously stroked the medical tape on the back of his hand with his thumb and replied without paying attention to the topic:
"There's nothing missing at home, and I can take care of myself, don't worry."
"Then do you know how bad your physical condition is now?" Feng Yichen asked directly.
Chi Shu was speechless now. She had been unconscious for almost the entire morning.
Seeing that she was silent, Feng Yichen said, "I'm worried about you being alone in your current situation. I'm free too, so I'll take you somewhere later."
Chi Shu suddenly felt his nose a little sore, and said calmly, "Feng Yichen, you shouldn't be so nice to me. We..."
Feng Yichen immediately stopped her from speaking, as if not allowing her to escape. He continued to speak word by word:
"Haven't you already decided to say goodbye to me? After knowing each other for so many years, it's impossible to say goodbye so hastily. That letter is too heavy, and it will still make me feel pain when I see it in the future. So, please leave me a lighter memory now, okay?"
Hearing his tender and profound words, Chi Shu's eyes suddenly turned red.
"Is it worth it for someone like me?" Her voice was even hoarseer than before.
Hearing her words, Feng Yichen's Adam's apple slid, and his heart felt a little choked. He did not answer directly, but said to her:
"At yesterday's birthday party, my uncle, who's recuperating in his old home, told me that the newly planted herbs are growing beautifully. And at this time of year, the flowers and trees in the garden are in full bloom. I've always gone to see them alone before, but this time, I'd like you to come with me. Is that okay?"
His original intention was actually to take Chi Shu directly to "Xinglinju", but if he said it directly, she would decline for fear of troubling him, so he could only reveal his weaknesses again and again so that she could not bear to refuse.
Chi Shu really couldn't bear to say no, she just nodded slightly with red eyes.
So Feng Yichen helped her get her sunglasses and chain bag, and handed her the phone, saying, "Then go get ready and we'll leave early. You can call Auntie and let her know."
"It's okay. I mentioned to you when I called you this morning that you can go out and play with friends in your free time." Chi Shu said this, but he was in a bad mood.
Because, in fact, she just didn't dare to say that this "friend" was him. She only warned herself: This is just this once, since it has come to this, don't leave more regrets and make it more difficult to let go in the future.
Seeing her suddenly look so melancholy, Feng Yichen nodded in response and said no more.
He was still thinking that he had been on the phone with her mother that morning. But when he heard her say the word "friend," his heart felt like it was being pricked by a needle, and he couldn't help but sigh: Friends? Oh...never mind, who told him not to let go?
This feeling was so complicated that Feng Yichen was helpless.
But the person in front of him is the love of his life, how can he be willing to be just friends with her?
Unless he never marries in this life, otherwise, since she is indispensable to him, how could he be willing to be just friends!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
