Chapter 43 You Look Just Like Someone (Synopsis...)
Lin Yuan put down her chopsticks, said she was full, and took her leave.
"Ah Yuan, can't you really stay?"
Lin Yuan stopped, half of her face shrouded in the shadows cast by the door frame, and said with a slight smile, "I came in such a hurry, how can I stay here like this?"
"So, will you come again tomorrow?"
"Yes, I promised."
"……good."
The door was closed, blocking out the daylight and leaving shadows inside.
Xiao Xun stared blankly at her retreating figure, even the words he had already prepared in his heart, such as "just send someone to inform Tingquan Temple" and "we lack nothing here," were stuck in his throat.
Wang Fu's words echoed in his mind: "While she still doesn't know that he has gained His Majesty's favor only because he bears a resemblance to the Princess's daughter..."
Doesn't she know?
She obviously knew.
When he brought Lin Yuan back from Shanglin Garden, he was so happy that he didn't notice that her smile was different from usual, and that she seemed more awkward and uneasy.
He didn't take it to heart; after not seeing each other for several months, he felt a bit apprehensive about returning home.
At that time, how could he not feel apprehensive?
Deeply moved, yet timid.
That heartfelt joy is almost there, yet it seems the best time to say it will never come.
He wanted the moon to be at its fullest, the stars to be the brightest, the flowers to be in full bloom, the wind to be the gentlest, and everything in the Jiaofang Palace to be arranged to his liking. The twelve-colored brocade robes with heavy edging were all ready. When the geese from Shanglin Garden arrived from the south at their most robust, he would speak again, "I wish to marry you. Are you willing?"
no.
That's too vulgar to say.
"I'll offer you the land as my dowry, will you marry me?" This is a rather forceful statement.
Saying "I love you and want to marry you" sounds hasty and lacks poetry.
"May we be good forever, day and night." This is too rigid and pedantic, like a pedantic scholar, lacking in charm.
"There are trees on the mountain, and branches on the trees; I love you, my beloved, do you know?" But when she mentions the Yue Man Song, will she think of the boatman and Zixi again?
He saw Lin Yuan's face through the gleaming ink, a strand of her black hair falling beside her face, her expression weary, lost in thought. He teased her, "Haven't served you for half a year, have you even forgotten how to grind ink?"
"It's just too cold today," Lin Yuan said with a slight smile.
Xiao Xun casually took his fox fur coat and was about to drape it over her shoulders.
Lin Yuan took several steps back, saying, "No need, no need. I'm really not used to grinding ink for His Majesty these days. The ink gets all over my hands, and it wouldn't be good if it stained this white fur coat." Xiao Xun said, "Then I'll have someone fetch you a black fur coat."
Lin Yuan still tried to avoid the topic, waving her hands and saying, "No, no, no, this is the Xuan Shi Hall. What would I look like dressed as a bear?"
Upon hearing this, Xiao Xun laughed heartily.
He had the earthen stove heated up very vigorously. Soon he was drenched in sweat.
He stopped writing, turned his head to look at Lin Yuan, and winked: "Help me wipe it."
Lin Yuan shook her head and refused, saying, "Your Majesty, I didn't bring a handkerchief."
"Just bring your hands."
Lin Yuan hesitated for a moment, then raised the ink stick in her hand.
Xiao Xun ignored him and urged, "Hurry up, you're sweating into your eyes."
Pressed so hard that Lin Yuan had a sudden inspiration, she grabbed a piece of silk from the table and wiped his forehead haphazardly.
Xiao Xun's forehead was still wet.
It was fresh, wet ink.
This was quite different from the tender and affectionate scene that Xiao Xun had envisioned.
He saw Lin Yuan turn around, looking like she was about to run away after doing something wrong. Half of her cheek was red and her shoulders were trembling, clearly trying to suppress a laugh. He grabbed her.
"How dare you try to run away?"
He smiled mischievously and picked up a pen with one hand.
I was supposed to pick up the brush that was dipped in black ink, but by some strange twist of fate, I picked up the one that was dipped in cinnabar.
"I was wrong, I was wrong. I shouldn't have retaliated against His Majesty."
"Hmm? Revenge?"
"I, I mean... Your Majesty, please be magnanimous and don't retaliate against me."
Lin Yuan's hands were grabbed by him, and she couldn't escape. Her face turned red.
"Don't move. Don't move."
He spoke with a solemn face, then slowly, the corners of his lips lifted as he looked at Lin Yuan and saw a crimson plum blossom bloom between her brows.
He was so engrossed in watching that he loosened his grip, and Lin Yuan pulled her hand away to cover her face.
"Don't touch it, it's not completely dry yet."
"What did His Majesty paint?" she asked, biting her lip.
"I've painted your face black and blue," he said with a raised eyebrow and a smile.
Seeing that Lin Yuan's face was slightly flushed, showing a mixture of anger and grievance, yet she dared not express it, he had someone fetch a bronze mirror.
In the bright yellow mirror, he saw Lin Yuan's expression change from anger to surprise, then to astonishment and joy.
When she saw him staring intently at her in the bronze mirror, she felt even more embarrassed.
"Your Majesty, please don't look," Lin Yuan said, turning her face away and lowering her eyes.
"Why not watch it? I like it."
Xiao Xun blurted it out.
Lin Yuan in the mirror slightly raised her eyes, her eyelashes trembling, and looked at him: "You like... these plum blossoms?"
He took a deep breath: "Of course I like the person in the mirror."
Lin Yuan's eyes flickered.
He gazed into those shimmering eyes: "I feel that the person in this mirror looks exactly like someone."
"...Who is it?"
"The one I love."
The plums are in bloom, and there are three of them. I urge my esteemed gentlemen to seek my services now.
Plums were picked, and baskets were filled with them. I sought out my gentlemen, and waited until they spoke to me. ①
He didn't want to wait any longer.
Now, however.
Why does the moon need to be at its fullest? With her by his side, every day is a full moon.
Why would she need the brightest star? The brightest star was already in her eyes.
She is the most magnificent plum blossom, the gentlest breeze.
The layout of the Jiaofang Palace is most pleasing only when she is there.
Only when draped on her could the brocade robe with its twelve colors truly shine.
He has waited too long.
On the lotus boat on Kunming Pool, he held her waist. She was so close to him, just like that spring night when they lay side by side, heads touching.
The taste of her red lips, even after half a year, still lingered on his tongue and haunted his dreams.
How he longed to taste that sweet, tender flavor again!
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and kissed the lips he had longed for countless times.
It's cool and refreshing.
It has a sweet taste.
What he encountered was a lotus root that Lin Yuan had somehow held high in front of him.
It's not the right time.
He said to himself with a wry smile.
Why would you think it wasn't the right time?
Then I should have put down the lotus root, kissed her lips, kissed her cheeks, her hair, her forehead, her snow-white neck, and told her, "I love you, I've loved you for a long time. Wait for me to come and get you, wait for me to come and marry you, to make you my wife, wouldn't that be wonderful?"
He said to himself with a wry smile.
That day, in the Xuan Shi Hall, when he finally said, "You are the one I love," Lin Yuan raised the corners of her lips, said nothing, and ran out.
My heart is pleased with you, but you do not know.
Now I know, she is so adorable, so shy.
Her red lips were slightly pursed, and the corners of her eyes were red.
I was so ashamed that I dared not see him again.
The following day, Lin Yuan declined to come to the Emperor's presence, citing the cold weather.
On the third day, she claimed that the underground heating in the Xuan Room was too strong and she couldn't bear to let His Majesty suffer from the heat, and that she felt bad about it.
The next day, she said she had already taught Li Shun how to grind ink and would surely satisfy His Majesty. Xiao Xun smelled the incense on Li Shun, which came from a sachet stuffed with plum blossom petals, and almost laughed in anger.
Another day...
He was extremely busy in the Xuan Room, busy purging the remnants of the Qu clan from the previous dynasty, busy promoting his own confidants, and busy providing relief to refugees on the border affected by the chaos.
In the brief moments between his busy moments, all he needed to do was think of her in the side hall, separated from him by only two walls and a passageway. Then, he wouldn't even need to burn charcoal; his entire being would feel warm. The wall separating them wasn't a pepper wall, but it surpassed even the pepper wall.
He leaned against the armrest, recalling how her cheeks flushed, how she hesitated to speak, and how she ran out of the hall. He also thought of the past few nights when the lights in the west wing flickered until dawn, and how she must have tossed and turned, longing for him day and night. He couldn't help but smile.
"Fool," he muttered, crushing the almond cake on the plate into pieces.
Who told her?
Su Chan left Chang'an at the age of fifteen, and her name gradually disappeared from Weiyang Palace. Very few people had ever seen her.
In the palace, besides Wang Fu, who else...?
It's... Qu Qingru, right?
Qu Qingru knew Su Chan; they were all acquaintances among the noble ladies of the capital. That's why she initially sent Lin Yuan to his bedside.
Zhaotai Palace and Lanyue Pavilion, one is located at the foot of the mountain on the west side, and the other is located on the mountaintop on the east side. One is secluded and dark, and the other is like a natural chasm.
That was what he thought was the safest place.
The flames of the Qu clan's rebellion will never reach there, nor will the imperial army's suppression of the rebellion be directed there. That place sits atop a high mountain, surrounded by dense forests, where even the sounds of galloping horses and the shouts of soldiers cannot be heard.
But it caused the most severe injuries.
That's heartbreaking.
He had thought over and over again about countless ways to express his feelings, but why did he blurt out that one sentence in the heat of the moment?
Is it no longer tacky? Is it no longer compelling? Is it more poetic? Is it more witty? It's like stabbing me in the heart!
She later said that she had gotten used to living in the mountains and rivers of Shanglin Garden and was not used to returning to Weiyang Palace. Therefore, she was feeling unwell and asked His Majesty for permission to rest for a while.
When these words reached Xiao Xun's ears, he couldn't help but smile, thinking to himself that these excuses for avoiding people were getting lameer and lameer every day.
Thinking that she was ashamed to see him, which was a girl's behavior and a folk custom, he let her be and only sent Hua Ren to take her pulse.
He clearly got up in a hurry as soon as he heard that he was "unwell" and had already walked to the corridor of the west side hall.
A day apart feels like three autumns. It's been five days already.
He also subtly asked Ling Feng about it. Ling Feng, speaking from experience, said that after the betrothal ceremony, his fiancée would wait in her boudoir until the wedding ceremony, and the two of them were not allowed to see each other until the wedding. This was a folk custom.
Ling Feng said that the greatest wisdom of the people is like this. Before a man and woman get married, they play hard to get, pretending to be close yet distant, in order to make the moment of their wedding night so precious that they can't control their emotions, and their love will be so intense that they will be inseparable.
Ling Feng's face turned even redder than the mandarin duck quilt as he spoke, and Xiao Xun's heart pounded as he listened.
"What if we don't get married so soon?" he asked.
"That's also to let those who are in love confirm their feelings for each other, that they are meant for each other." Ling Feng smiled very clearly.
Xiao Xun then withdrew his steps from the west side hall. He heard Hua Ren report that Lin Yuan's pulse was tight and her face was flushed. He didn't hear the last few sentences clearly, but it meant that she was fine and there was no need to worry.
He recalled Ling Feng's words, felt a surge of warmth in his heart, and nodded involuntarily.
He himself was also anxious and his face flushed as he thought of Lin Yuan.
Looking back now, just the day before, he had issued an edict restoring Su Dan's official status, granting him a fief of a thousand households, and ordering him to return to the capital immediately.
The next day, the edict was proclaimed throughout the land and spread inside and outside the palace walls.
The Minister of the Imperial Secretariat, after discerning the Emperor's intentions, drafted the edict for Su Chan's investiture, which took place after that day.
...
He sullenly rubbed his forehead.
The wound on my arm was tied very tightly, and it hurt terribly from the pull.
The pain was felt in my heart, a heavy, suffocating breath sinking down.
But she must be in even more pain.
As she left, she lowered her eyes, not looking at him, her dark eyelashes casting a shadow.
The next day.
Lin Yuan arrived at the East Garden as promised.
While changing the dressing, she exclaimed softly, "Oh dear, why isn't this wound healing?"
"Oh, it was last night, around midnight. I was taking a bath and got my wound wet. I just grabbed a cloth and wrapped it up without thinking," Xiao Xun said softly.
"Did you have another nightmare?" Lin Yuan asked.
"Hmm." He didn't say anything more.
Nightmares are nothing more than the same ones that keep recurring. He looked out from the window of the Xuan Room; the lights in the west side hall were off and would never be lit again.
After bandaging it up, he brushed off his sleeve, smiled, and said, "I don't want anyone else to touch it while you're not here. It's just a little blood, nothing serious."
“I see, then I…” Lin Yuan hesitated before speaking.
Xiao Xun interrupted her: "Let's have breakfast together."
The breakfast on the table was almost identical to yesterday's.
Lin Yuan did not refuse, and with a calm expression, she began to use it as if she had already forgotten about yesterday.
Xiao Xun picked up a piece of almond cake.
He slowly spoke only after a layer of white frost had settled on his fingertips from the pastry.
“You were right yesterday. Hazelnuts and almonds are both unique. How can you mistake one for another? Anyone who does that is a fool.”
Lin Yuan looked up in surprise and blurted out:
"Your Majesty was right yesterday. They're all just food. Hazelnuts or almonds, as long as they taste good, that's all that matters."
She looked down at the almond cake and took a small bite.
Xiao Xun was still resentful: "In my opinion, the person who ate it already knew that it was a hazelnut, and also knew that what he liked was just a hazelnut."
He forced a smile. "Actually, he knew in his heart all along that it was hazelnut cake, and he had already decided it was hazelnut cake. I mean, if hazelnut had a heart, he would definitely apologize for initially mistaking it for almonds."
"No, I shouldn't apologize." He licked his dry palate and shook his head helplessly.
One sentence made Lin Yuan put down her chopsticks and look at him with a puzzled expression.
"What apology? This man may indeed be a fool, utterly foolish, but after eating hazelnuts, he never mistook them for almonds again. He has long forgotten almonds, and he has also forgotten that he once mistook hazelnut cake for almond cake."
He looked at Lin Yuan: "If Zhenzi is thoughtful, she should be able to understand after careful consideration."
"Do you understand?" he pleaded, repeating the question as if to himself.
Lin Yuan was dizzy from his words and remained silent, pursing her lips.
After a moment, she smiled and said, "Fortunately, it's just a hazelnut. It doesn't have a heart. There's no need to overthink it. Let whoever eats it think what they want, call it a deer a horse, or deceive themselves, it's none of its business. It's just itself, it should just be itself."
She looked at the pastries on the plate and smiled lightly: "There are always people, like me, who can see clearly what it is from the very beginning."
"Ah Yuan, what you're saying is..."
Xiao Xun's words were interrupted by a knock on the door. A guard outside announced, "Master Lin requests an audience."
Lin Yuan looked out through the green gauze window and saw Lin Yu's figure walking briskly towards her.
Both of them felt a sudden tightness in their chests.
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The author's note: ① This is from the *Book of Songs*, specifically the line "Plums fall in abundance, only a third remains on the branches. My beloved, do not wait any longer before you ask to marry me. Plums fall in abundance, you need a winnowing basket to gather them. My beloved, do not hesitate any longer before you ask to marry me."
Xiao Xun: When I'm anxious, I even curse myself, calling myself an idiot, an idiot, an idiot!
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