Chapter 66 Heaven Doesn't Listen to Me
The room fell silent.
Lin Yu had tried to negotiate for a long time, but knew it was all in vain.
The arrival of this day was something he had long anticipated.
When news arrived that Xiao Xun and the Minister of Ceremonies were returning to Chang'an, Lin Yu also bid farewell to the Prince of Huaiyang.
Xiao Cheng harbored doubts, while Lin Yu was worried. In Cuiwei Village, the houses were now orderly, and the path up the mountain had long been cleared. The days before spring plowing were a good time for students to study. There was no reason for the schoolmaster to stay at the Prince's residence any longer. If he didn't leave, it would only arouse suspicion.
Xiao Cheng was finally relieved after Lin Yu's persuasion.
Unexpectedly, Xiao Xun sent Lin Yuan and the two old women back to Cuiwei Mountain, but left two Imperial Guardsmen behind under the guise of "protection".
Thus, Xiao Jin suffered.
He was woken up early in the morning by the nagging of the Princess of Huaiyang.
"Ah Jin, tell me, what exactly are His Majesty's feelings for Miss Lin?" The princess frowned. "It's really strange. If he has feelings for her, why is he letting her stay in Huaiyang? Why not bring her back to Chang'an and into the palace? Is it really just a passing fancy?"
She sighed, "What a beautiful young woman."
Xiao Jin's face gradually paled: "Yes, A Yuan, what a wonderful girl. He used her and then abandoned her, it's really...outrageous!"
The princess twisted her handkerchief, paced slowly, and frowned even more deeply: "It can't be called abandonment. There are two Imperial Guards left behind at Cuiwei Mountain."
She pondered, "Could it be that since an empress hasn't been established yet, it's not appropriate to take in a concubine, a lady, or a beauty beforehand? Perhaps we should consider it further later? Ah Jin, you're a man, tell me, what are your thoughts as men—"
Xiao Jin had long since disappeared.
He mounted his horse and spurred it on all the way to Cuiwei Mountain.
The saying "A year's plan starts in spring" resonated with the Crown Prince. He changed his lazy nature and became diligent and hardworking, following Lin Yu around all day. He asked questions ranging from "If Gongsun Duan committed many unrighteous acts and did not perish, what should be done?" to "Duke Zheng and his mother had an irreconcilable feud, can they really reconcile?" Later, he simply stayed there.
Until the news of Qin's "critical illness" arrived, Xiao Jin, as the heir apparent of Huaiyang, was not allowed to leave his fiefdom without the emperor's summons.
He reluctantly saw the two teachers off at the west gate of Huaiyang Kingdom.
He patted Lin Yu on the shoulder and asked, "Yu, tell me, Gongsun Duan built city walls, trained soldiers, gathered people, and prepared chariots and horses, all of which were done right under the nose of Duke Zhuang of Zheng. Isn't that foolish? No wonder he couldn't succeed."
Lin Yu replied with a smile, "Gongsun Duan lost because he was unjust and had no relatives."
At the West Gate, the wind and sand blurred his vision. Xiao Jin bowed to Lin Yu.
His purple robes fluttered in the wind like a bright banner, and the prince's voice was carried away by the wind and trampled by Sheng Yun's horse hooves: "I understand. If there is righteousness, kinship, and a just cause, perhaps even Duke Zhuang of Zheng cannot do anything to him!"
The two Imperial Guards exchanged glances, admiring the "diligence of the young master," and also praising the benefits of having friends who were upright, understanding, and knowledgeable. The young master, who spent every day with Lin Yu, no longer addressed him as "Master," but affectionately called him "A-Yu."
They escorted Lin Yuan and her group all the way back to Chang'an, all the way to Dongping Township.
Lin Yu raised her eyes and looked at Xiao Xun.
The tea mist had long since dissipated, and Xiao Xun still wore a faint smile, looking as unrestrained and flamboyant as ever.
Like when he was seven years old, he put away his unsharpened sword, slung it over his back, and said, "We'll have another match in a while. I'll definitely beat you then."
It's time.
Lin Yu's gaze passed over Xiao Xun's shoulder and looked out the window: "Around this house, in Dongping Township and Yonghe Village, could there already be an axeman every three steps and an archer every five steps?"
"Did I say I wanted to kill you? If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it long ago in Huaiyang, at Cuiwei Mountain, or at Xishan. Why have I been dealing with you until now?"
Xiao Xun looked at him and chuckled lightly, "It's so easy for me to kill someone. Just a little bit of suspicion is enough."
He gently tapped the white piece on the chessboard. "Isn't keeping it more useful than killing it?"
Lin Yu bowed and added some tea. Two wisps of tea smoke rose up and swirled in the air.
"Your Majesty's chess skills are superb, but people are not chess pieces; they are entirely at Your Majesty's mercy."
He picked up the white piece, holding it between his two fingers: "I have read a couple of volumes of history. Why did Xiao Yu die and come back to life so many times? Why did so many people use Xiao Yu's name to raise troops, rebel, and assassinate him? Isn't it because Xiao Yu and Your Majesty are sworn enemies? First, because of old cases from the past, and second, because of his status as the eldest son of the Crown Prince."
He didn't put the white piece back on the chessboard. "If I were truly Xiao Yu, how could His Majesty have the confidence to let me serve you and risk my life for your empire?"
Xiao Xun remained calm and composed: "Of course."
Lin Yu smiled mockingly: "Could it be that His Majesty's so-called 'betrothal' yesterday was not a sincere attempt to marry A Yuan, but rather an attempt to force me to submit by using A Yuan and the lives of my entire family? If I do not agree and refuse to be at His Majesty's beck and call, someone will probably be injured?"
Her voice grew increasingly cold, "This gift is far too extravagant, truly beyond the comprehension of a commoner like myself, and I am unworthy of it. No wonder my father and mother avoided mentioning it. I wonder if A-Yuan would be heartbroken and saddened if she knew, would she regret her blindness?"
He had already gripped the white piece tightly in his palm, and the veins on the back of his hand were bulging.
...
"I just overheard Mother and Father talking about how Ade came by. What was he doing here?"
Lin Yuan said frankly, "He came to teach me needlework."
Lin Yu asked suspiciously, "You're learning needlework?"
Lin Yuan became embarrassed and stammered, "I just want to learn some simple things, like plum blossoms or something. I can embroider them on handkerchiefs... or belts later."
Plum blossoms, belt...
Lin Yu gritted her teeth. The white piece was rigidly embedded in her palm.
On the day of the horseback riding, Xiao Xun wore a long robe and wide belt, his sleeves billowing. Lin Yu caught a glimpse of a fiery red plum blossom swaying in the wind on the side of his belt. It was A Yuan's stitching, faded over time.
Xiao Xun's face showed displeasure: "You are you, and A Yuan is A Yuan. My grievances with you are none of anyone else's business."
"If you truly harbored hostility towards me and wished to kill me, you could have taken advantage of the chaos to do so one day." He paused for a moment, then said coldly, "Why did that sword veer off course?"
Lin Yu's eyes were filled with gloom: "That night, were you testing me too? No wonder the Grand Master of Ceremonies didn't act so quickly, and your Imperial Guards and Dark Guards all stood by and watched. So, you were waiting for me. If my sword hadn't missed, it would never have landed on your neck, would it? It would have landed on my own neck instead."
Xiao Xun slammed his fist on the table:
"It will never fall on my neck because, after all these years, your swordsmanship has not improved over time."
“But I will never let A Yuan lose her brother.”
He picked up his teacup, drank the tea in one gulp, and put the cup down: "Believe it or not."
Silence followed for a long time.
Only two wisps of tea smoke rose up, swirling in the air.
Xiao Xun suddenly asked, "Do you know who taught me chess?"
"Your Majesty's teacher is naturally a renowned master."
"It's Qu Yang."
Xiao Xun lowered his eyes and looked at the black and white pieces on the chessboard.
“I ascended the throne at the age of eight. Within the palace walls, there was a constant struggle for power and intrigue. Every day I faced Qu Yang and the entire court of Qu family supporters. Step by step, I have come to where I am today. Many things have not been honorable.” He took a breath and looked up. “But, A Yuan, she is the one I love. She is pure and kind. I cannot hurt her, nor can I harm her family. So, you, I will not use such despicable means to force you.”
For the first time, Lin Yu clearly heard the words "beloved" from his mouth. The chess piece in her palm became a sharp weapon, grinding sharply across every meridian.
He sat facing the window, bathed in the morning light, like a painting meticulously drawn on a bright silk scroll, every movement of his could be seen.
"Don't believe me?"
"Not taking advantage of my family, not taking advantage of A-Yuan? Then what about Cheng Xuanzhi? What about Xie Zhang?"
Although Master Xie, who suddenly appeared in Xishan, was busy arguing heatedly with Master Cheng about the Minister of Rites, he didn't mention how he got there. As for the person who brought him, whether he was from Jingzhao or surnamed Zhao, he was old and hard of hearing, so he didn't care.
However, it is obvious that without Xiao Xun and his men, how could a seventy-year-old man have come all the way from Shu to Chang'an, found an unknown mountain, and met an unknown person?
“When I was young, I listened to Cheng Xuanzhi talk about scriptures and doctrines, so I can be considered half a student. I know how to respect teachers and value education.”
Lin Yu flicked his sleeves: "Then, forgive my ignorance, but I truly do not know what other moves Your Majesty may make?"
Xiao Xun's fingers tapped lightly on the chessboard, causing the chess pieces to vibrate slightly.
"The world".
"People's livelihood".
Suddenly, there was silence.
After a long silence, Lin Yu smiled and said, "What do Your Majesty's empire and the people's livelihood have to do with a commoner like me?"
"None of your business?"
Xiao Xun's voice suddenly rose an octave, "Lin Yu, Lin Yu, regardless of who you really are, I've always thought that A Yuan's character was shaped by your teachings. A gentleman is like jade, she is a true gentleman. But what about you? I only realized today that all the things you taught A Yuan were just empty talk and theoretical discussions, nothing compared to A Yuan."
He stared intently at the person before him, his voice sharp and his expression indignant, "Not even a fraction as good."
After his anger subsided a bit, he got up and walked to the wall of books, taking out a volume of Sima Qian's book.
The book is very old. The binding cord is worn white.
He slowly unfolded the scroll. Lin Yuan must have read these same scrolls before, right?
Where his fingertips touched, there were several words: "The Xiongnu fled," and "The army will kill them."
"At first, I thought A-Yuan was just shy and made up an excuse to fob me off. Later, I thought she was angry with me and said those things on purpose to annoy me."
Xiao Xun spoke slowly, his gaze falling on those few lines of text, a self-deprecating smile on his face:
"Now I know that every word she said to me back then came from the bottom of her heart."
Three months ago, the tattered Sima Qian's book was placed on the desk in the Xuan Shi Hall.
Lin Yuan looked away.
However, Xiao Xun treated reading that book as if he were reviewing memorials or taking a short break after meals.
Sometimes, he would even read a few sentences aloud.
Lin Yuan really wanted to plug her ears too.
What does this mean?
He pointed to a few altered characters and asked hesitantly, "A marriage alliance, 30,000 people?"
Lin Yuan looked at it and coughed lightly: "Hmm, it should be the Xiongnu. The Xiongnu sent 30,000 men to Shangjun in the 23rd year of Emperor Wen's reign. The marriage alliance is the previous sentence, in the 19th year of Emperor Wen's reign." She tried to cover up the fact that "I wanted to write some annotations on the middle words, but I accidentally spilled ink on them."
Xiao Xun nodded, unable to suppress a laugh: "It was quite an accident. We almost had to send 30,000 people to be married off."
Lin Yuan gave him a perfunctory smile.
Before he could even catch his breath, Xiao Xun asked again, "And what about here? The Emperor sent the Grand General and the Grand Commandant with troops to kill them. Who were they killed, and why? Is it something to be praised and what is so gratifying?"
Lin Yuan didn't turn her head, but only said, "They are the King of Wu, the King of Chu, the King of Zhao, the King of Jiaoxi, and the King of Jiaodong—"
She counted the names of several princes who had rebelled in the previous dynasty, and the more she talked, the more suspicious she became. Turning her head, she saw that the scroll in Xiao Xun's hand was clean and the words were clear.
His gaze wasn't on the book at all, but on Lin Yuan's face, watching the blush slowly rise on her cheeks, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.
Lin Yuan paused, then said, "I forgot too. However, I just saw that there are also books by Sima Qian on that bookshelf over there. Shall I go and fetch them for His Majesty?"
Before Xiao Xun could answer, she was about to get up.
Xiao Xun pressed down on her hand.
He asked with a smile, "Are you worried about me?"
"What?" Lin Yuan pulled her hand away.
The mischievousness had vanished from his smile. Pointing to the words on the scroll, he asked in a low voice, "The Xiongnu fled, and you led your troops to kill them. Are you worried about me?"
He wasn't just talking about books, but also about the words she murmured like a goddess in the morning light on the mountaintop that day.
Lin Yuan paused for a moment, then flatly denied it.
She lowered her eyes and said softly, "It's not for His Majesty."
Xiao Xun found it quite amusing to see her blushing cheeks and her biting her lip in silence.
Are you just shy and stubborn, refusing to admit it?
He chuckled softly.
She looked especially adorable, and Xiao Xun couldn't help but tease her further, then suddenly realized, "That's what it means to be concerned about the world. I never imagined that a woman like you could have such a broad mind. How admirable!"
Lin Yuan glanced at him, her heart pounding, wanting to speak but holding back, her red lips pressed tightly together, almost dripping blood.
After a while, she excused herself, saying she was cold.
Fine snowflakes began to fall at the doorway.
She stood under the veranda for a while.
Xiao Xun caught sight of Tingting's back as she walked along the corridor, which confirmed his belief that she was indeed incredibly shy.
The wind picked up, and he couldn't sit still any longer, so he grabbed a fur coat and went outside.
Lin Yuan fiddled with the snowflakes that had splashed onto the veranda, sniffed, and started talking out of the blue.
“When I was very young, it was also a winter like this, with snow falling and the sky gloomy. One day, I fell asleep and had a very long dream. In the dream, the Suanni was roaring, the Owl was calling, and the mountain tiger’s teeth were grinding together with a clanging sound.”
Xiao Xun laughed out loud, and the fur coat he was draping over her shoulders became askew.
Coming to my senses, I suddenly remembered the lion, tiger, and elephant statues in Shanglin Garden.
Then wouldn't the nights at Shanglin Garden be...?
"I woke up in fright. The sound came from inside my dream and into the outside world. I heard someone shouting, someone screaming, and there was also a sound like copper and iron clashing together, clanging, banging, clanging, clanging, clanging, deafening."
Xiao Xun raised an eyebrow and asked, "Was it a fight?"
Lin Yuan shook her head: "Mother said that new iron tools have been made, and many people are trying them out to see if they work well and are easy to use."
"Testing iron tools so late at night?" Xiao Xun chuckled.
Lin Yuan tilted her head to look at him: "Well, it's not impossible. Iron is very expensive. A farmer would be happy for a long time if he got a shovel. My father was a blacksmith, but he was still very happy every time he brought home a new piece of ironware. It's just like you—"
She thought for a while, but couldn't recall any precious or rare item that could make Xiao Xun so happy, so she sighed and didn't say anything more.
She looked away and gave a bitter smile. "I later learned that iron plows and sickles don't make that kind of sound. Farmers cherish iron and can't afford iron plows, sickles, and rakes. How could they bear to make such precious things clang and bang? I'm afraid their hearts would be shattered first."
She lowered her head, and her voice also softened, "That sound was of iron armor, iron halberds, and iron spears."
Xiao Xun's smile froze on his face: "...Yes, war?"
“I was too young then to understand what war was. All I knew was that on that very night, my home was gone. My mother didn’t wait for my father to come home before she took me and ran away, without even having time to pack anything.”
The corridor offered no shelter from the wind, and as she spoke, she appeared increasingly frail.
Xiao Xun longed to hold Lin Yuan in his arms, so he reached out and wrapped his arms around her back.
Just as he was about to touch her shoulder, Lin Yuan took a step toward a pillar in the corridor and looked up at the embroidery on the ceiling.
He withdrew his hand.
"Do you know why I've remembered this so vividly?" Her eyes crinkled into a smile. "Because, in the kitchen of that house, there was a bamboo basket hanging from the ceiling, and in the third earthenware jar from the left, there were two festivals' worths of malt sugar that I had saved up for, something I couldn't bear to eat. I was only this tall back then,"
She gestured to her waist, "So, the kitchen roof looks about as high as this veranda, there's no way I could climb it."
"...And then what?"
"Later, there was no more candy to eat."
Lin Yuan smiled casually and stopped talking.
Xiao Xun remained silent for a long time.
Her eyes were innocent, which made people laugh, but also felt bitter.
"Your Majesty, Sima Qian was a man of few words. He probably never experienced hardship and displacement, so he only wrote a few words in his book. If they won, the general won, 'the Xiongnu fled,' '30,000 enemy heads were cut off.' If they lost, it was more than 10 million soldiers lost. The general was rewarded, and the general was punished."
She looked into the distance.
Scattered glimmers of snow caught her eye and were even caught by the wind, landing on her nose and bangs like fallen stars.
“But whether we win or lose, wherever the soldiers go, wherever the battlefields become, the newly planted wheat seedlings are trampled by horses' hooves, the millet almost ready for harvest is crushed by chariots, and the houses we used to hide in are burned to ruins. We can never go home again. The war will be won, the emperor will win, the general will win, but they,” she lowered her eyes, “we will never win. We will never win.”
She said, “That’s why I’m afraid, Your Majesty. War… is not good.”
"It's not good at all."
Xiao Xun's eyes darkened as he looked at Lin Yu.
“I know now, because A-Yuan, she saw the black snow, she saw the ruins in the southern suburbs of Chang'an, she saw the dead pigs, dogs, cattle and sheep. She saw how heartbroken her brother was at that time.”
Lin Yu remained calm, lowered her head, and took a sip of the cooled bitter tea. Something dripped into the water.
“Ah Yuan is so kind. Having a brother like me is truly disappointing.”
Xiao Xun almost threw the book in his hand, but in the end he put it away and placed it back on the bookshelf. He returned to the desk and stared at Lin Yu: "Do you think I'm begging you now?"
"I wouldn't dare."
“It’s them.” He slammed his fist on the chessboard, the pieces vibrating and clattering. “It’s Xiao Yu, it’s Xiao Heng.”
Lin Yu raised her eyes and looked at him incredulously.
Xiao Xun's eyes flashed with anger. "I really hope that you are not the person I know, that you are not A-Yu."
He gritted his teeth and said, "Because of Ayu, when he was seven years old, he told me that the people are the most important, the state is next, and the ruler is the least important."
“Those were the words his father often taught him.”
Lin Yu's teacup suddenly shook, and the fingers holding it had already turned pale.
"Do you know who built those shacks outside Chang'an that you lived in back then, those thatched huts that sheltered refugees?"
Lin Yu shook her head and wiped the water splashed on her wrist.
"It's Xiao Heng."
After an unknown amount of time, he said calmly, "Lin Yu, I won't force you." He had stopped referring to himself as "I" at some point.
The morning light behind him was dim and hazy, making Xiao Xun's eyes appear unfathomable.
"Considering A-Yuan?" Lin Yu sneered.
Xiao Xun did not answer.
He walked to the window and opened the straight-lattice window.
In the second month of spring, the snow that had not yet melted could still be faintly seen on the mountain peaks behind the mountain.
Xiao Xun suddenly asked, "Do you know how long this year's snow has been falling?"
Lin Yu looked outside, puzzled and uninterested: "It's been raining for almost twenty days in total. I've been in Huaiyang the whole time, but I imagine it's the same in Chang'an."
Xiao Xun nodded, still gazing at the green hills and white hair, and then said, "The longest snow I've ever experienced was when I was a child."
"When it first started snowing, I happened to fall ill. I had jumped off my horse and cut my shoulder. Later, the wound became infected, which attracted a cold, and I became very ill. My mother was afraid that I would catch a cold while I was sick, so she placed me on a couch in the main hall and closed the doors and windows tightly. It wasn't until the thirtieth day that I saw snow. It was truly a scene of darkness and desolation. I still remember it to this day."
"If it were now, I would be worried. How many prefectures and counties would be affected by the snow? How deep would the snow accumulate? How many people and livestock would be injured? How many houses would be destroyed? But back then, I was just an insignificant prince, a child who only knew how to play. I only thought, 'Let the snow stop soon. Stop soon, I have appointments to fight swords and race horses. A gentleman cannot break his promise.' But the snow just wouldn't stop. What should I do? I should send a letter. The letter was written, but the problem was that it was too late to mail it. The messenger said it couldn't be delivered there."
"I guess the snowflakes are blinding me, so I can't ride a horse. The palace gates are tightly closed, and all the doors are shut. What am I going to do? I regret that I should have written this earlier."
He raised the corners of his lips and said with a self-deprecating tone, "That letter was never sent."
"Heaven wouldn't listen to me. Even though I begged it. The snow didn't stop. On the forty-fifth day, the sky cleared. On the fiftieth day, the sun came out. On the fifty-eighth day, the sky turned blue again."
But the snow didn't stop. It never stopped.
"It's been fifteen years."
He remained facing the window frame, with his back to Lin Yu, and never turned around.
"Fifteen years."
Sighs fall into the wind, swirling with the fine drizzle.
Lin Yu did not speak.
He stared at the rising steam of tea. Gathering and parting, parting and gathering.
After an unknown period of time, the door was opened, and the long rays of daylight spread across the ground.
It was a sunny day.
Lin Yu did not raise her head. Instead of kneeling, she bent down, placed her hands on her forehead, and performed a kowtow.
Xiao Xun walked past him.
There were specks of wet mud on the hem of his robe.
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