Chapter 45 Can I not be your older brother? ...
Lin Yuan rubbed her stiff wrist and muttered, "I'm just upset about the eggs."
Lin Yu's eyebrows relaxed and her eyes brightened: "So, Young Master Xiao likes chicken eggs. Then A Yuan must remember to tell the Princess. You know, the Princess has been having a terrible headache these past few days because of receiving guests from all over the country. Not to mention Young Master Xiao, such a distinguished guest."
"Please don't!"
Xiao Xun looked sullen and said jokingly, "If the Princess Consort hears about this, won't tomorrow's case be all about chicken eggs? Besides boiled chicken eggs, there are also boiled chicken eggs, leek eggs, pickled chicken eggs, sugar-coated chicken eggs, let me think, what else could there be?"
Lin Yuan chuckled.
Xiao Xun looked at Lin Yuan with a bright smile. The smile that had been restrained was now blooming freely in her eyes and brows, so vivid.
It came into Lin Yu's eyes.
A faint smile lingered on his face, but he lowered his eyes almost imperceptibly.
After returning to Tingquan Courtyard the night before, Lin Yuan had already gone to sleep.
He Ji, sword in his arms, leaned against the door of Lin Yuan's room. Hearing the noise in the hall, he jumped up in fright and bumped his head against the door frame.
"Why are you sleeping here?" Lin Yu asked.
He Ji rubbed his sore head and opened his eyes, saying, "I'm not sleeping here. I'm on night watch. I was just thinking that the guards of the Prince of Huaiyang's mansion aren't alert enough or quick enough, so I..." He let out a long yawn, "...I'm a little worried."
"Is A-Yuan already asleep?" Lin Yu asked softly.
He Ji nodded down faster than he nodded: "Isn't that right? I thought A Yuan was frightened, so I gave her some calming soup."
"Thank you for your hard work." Lin Yu patted He Ji on the shoulder. "Go and rest first, I'll take care of things here."
"What are you thanking me for? A-Yuan's business is my business."
He Ji squinted, patted his chest, and walked unsteadily toward the other room, saying, "I could have stayed all night. A-Yuan insisted on waiting for you to come back and ask how you were doing. She refused to drink the calming soup, so I coaxed her, saying that it was chilly in the middle of the night and that the soup was warming and good for keeping warm. She felt sorry for me catching a cold this morning and told me to drink it too. I couldn't refuse, so I drank a bowl with her..."
"I must say, the medicine is incredibly effective. After drinking it, I had a wonderful dream. I just dreamt that I was wielding a sword, slaying assassins, fighting ten of them single-handedly. When you came back, I was killing the eleventh one. By the way, if you want some calming soup, I still have some left in my room..."
The remaining whispers were interrupted by a yawn and then shut out by the sound of the door being pushed open.
Lin Yu walked to Lin Yuan's bedside.
The moonlight reflected off the snow and streamed through the window screen, making the room not too dark.
A firefly-like lamp was still flickering. Lin Yuan lay there fully clothed, not sleeping soundly. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, somewhat like when she was young and had been frightened by an owl.
Lin Yu closed the window tightly, turned around, put Lin Yuan's bent arm back into the quilt, and tucked the corner of the quilt in.
Then he sat down on the edge of the tatami mat and, through the quilt, took her hand.
She was afraid of owls, lions and tigers, and also of the howling of the north wind through the forest, saying it sounded just like the roar of a ferocious beast.
“The kite is a bird of prey, an eagle.”
Lin Yu patted her head and laughed.
"But even eagles are afraid of being eaten by mountain lords, lions, and giant elephants," Lin Yuan argued, blushing.
Memories flooded back in a jumble. He hadn't drunk much wine at the banquet; he'd spilled half of it, yet the effects of the alcohol were overwhelming.
The firefly-like lights blurred and then burst into flames.
The lights were bright, and Mother cooked herself, bringing almond cakes to a group of playful children.
Because he could not eat almonds from a young age, while the other children liked them quite a bit, his mother tried many times and made almond cake with hazelnuts.
The snow-white icing and rice flour clung to their hands the moment they touched, some even landing on their noses, eliciting bursts of laughter from the children.
The icing and powder on his hands then landed on Ah Xun's forehead, Ah Jin's cheeks, and Ah Chan's hair.
The plate was quickly emptied; the almond cake was left uneaten, but crumbs were left on the hand.
Everywhere, it looked like a light, white snowfall.
What does it taste like?
It must be bitter.
It's so bitter, so bitter.
The revolving lantern in my dream turned back, spinning and spinning.
Pear blossoms turn into snow.
He and Ah Xun were playfully teasing each other, their hands holding unsharpened swords.
He had just learned a few amazing moves from the wandering knight and quickly gained the upper hand.
The blade reflected in Ah Xun's eyes, which widened in shock as she cried out, "Ah Yu! Look carefully..."
The mother's figure was indistinct amidst the falling pear blossoms: "Be careful, Ayu!"
The sword flashed by, and the lantern spun faster in the wind brought by the longsword.
He opened his eyes wide and saw that the last piece on it was himself.
"Ayu, Ayu!...Ayu!"
Mother's face emerged from the snow mist, and she dusted her hands off her coarse cloth apron, raising a hazy layer of fine white wheat flour: "Eat quickly, eat quickly, don't let it get cold! Try it and see if it tastes good?"
She reached out and pulled his collar tighter, leaving a distinct white fingerprint on his lapel.
He lowered his head, remained silent, and tried to rub the stain with his fingertips, but he couldn't wipe it off no matter what he did.
His fingertips twisted there, clenched tightly, turned white, and the veins bulged.
"...This mark is probably something you're born with."
The scene shifts, and he leans against the door, watching the girl who was just beginning to blossom into womanhood, radiant in the sunlight.
"So, do you have any of my marks on you?" he joked with a smile.
The girl thought for a moment, patted his shoulder, made him squat down, then wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned down and pressed her forehead against his.
Her delicate, straight nose was less than half an inch from him, her long eyelashes fluttered like a fan, and her face was covered with a layer of fine, shiny down.
“Look, exactly the same. I have the exact same mark as you.”
She smiled contentedly, her lips opening and closing, bringing with them the sweet aroma of lunch.
"Would you like to try it and see how it tastes?"
The taste was... sweet, it was sweet.
My heart was pounding.
He held his breath.
It tasted like honey bait; he remembered.
On the day he turned nine, there was no snow left. His mother's face emerged from the fine, wheat-flake-like snow and pulled his collar tighter.
I gasped for breath.
The bait cakes she made were coated with a lot of honey.
A stream of heat poured down from above my head.
He lowered his eyes, his tears mingling with the honey.
"Brother, brother, brother!"
He suddenly raised his head from the honey pouring down on him.
Who are you looking for?
Is it...me?
He saw a small, thin seven-year-old girl fly over like a bird.
"Are you having trouble sleeping because you're afraid of owls?"
Outside Chang'an city, in the middle of the night, inside a dilapidated refugee shack, the thatched roof rustled as if black snow were rolling in.
He closed his eyes, the blood-red sky reflected on his eyelids.
He buried his head under the coarse cloth quilt, and the thunderous snores that rose and fell transformed into the sounds of war and battle, and the panting, blood-stained breaths of the dying.
Suddenly, she felt a warmth in her palm and quietly moved closer to him.
"It's okay, I'm here."
Her eyes sparkled, and when she heard a rustling sound outside the window, she couldn't help but shrink her neck and move even closer to his side, almost burying her face in his arms.
After I grasped his hand, I quickly heard his even, soft breathing.
Lin Yu turned her head to look; she was already sleeping soundly.
Under the same moonlight, she curled up, her brows furrowed. No longer small, she slept restlessly, just like that night.
"It's okay, I'm here."
It was his turn to murmur.
He held a pair of fire tongs in each hand, using them as swords. When he swung them, they exploded in the air with a hiss.
"If anyone bullies you, I'll avenge you."
"Whoever he is."
"—Even if it is an owl, a lion, or a mountain lord."
—He is the emperor.
Time has returned to the year she came of age.
Before she entered the palace.
He took the jade pendant he had worn as a child, the long jade pendant with a dragon and tiger design that his mother had tied around his waist, and solemnly hung it around her neck as a necklace.
This jade pendant is the only thing he has left that belongs to Xiao Yu.
He could still vaguely hear the tinkling sound of the jade pendant when it was tied to his body. Later, it sounded like the clanging of armor and the clashing of spears and halberds.
The sound faded and receded in his memory. His mother, clad in armor and carrying a heavy sword, left him with a back view that never turned back, and the indistinct lip-reading.
"Live on... Ayu."
"Ayu!"
She often didn't call him brother, but called him Ayu.
When I'm annoyed with him, or when I'm being mean.
He sometimes deliberately annoyed her and provoked her to be mischievous.
A bright face was reflected in the bronze mirror.
Xiao seemed rather embarrassed. She tiptoed, leaned close to his ear, clasped her hands together, and whispered, "This jade was picked up from the imperial tomb. It's not very lucky, don't you think?"
His smile froze on his face.
After a long pause, he finally said, "Uh, it can... it can ward off evil spirits."
“That’s true.” Lin Yuan murmured to herself, then smiled with relief, “There must be many evil spirits in the palace.”
She carefully placed the jade ring against her chest.
A Yuan became a palace maid in the inner palace.
In the same year, he hurriedly left Chang'an and went to Guandong, ostensibly to travel and explore, but in reality to escape to a distant land.
With tears in her eyes, her mother earnestly instructed, "Be careful, Ayu! If things are bad outside, come home. Remember to come home."
He mounted his horse, his voice still echoing incessantly in the increasingly rapid wind.
"Be careful!" "Ayu...Ayu!" Several voices mingled together.
Fine, coarse. Light, heavy.
He is getting further and further away from home.
The wind ruffled his hair and made the sword at his waist clink. He vaguely returned to the end of the year when he was eight years old, and the wind carried that choked voice: "...treat him as your own son."
Is the person speaking choked up?
It looks like it's him.
They echo in the winds of memory.
Each time, more and more sobs appeared.
Countless midnights on Cuiwei Mountain, the incessant howling wind, pass through my heart.
In the moonlight, he saw himself at fifteen, sixteen, and seventeen years old.
murmuring the same poem:
So graceful and charming, yet my heart is troubled and anxious.
...
I feel relieved and distressed, but my heart is filled with anxiety and resentment.
...
Soothing and carefree, yet my heart is heavy with sorrow.
...How tragic.
The recitation of poetry paused.
The birds were startled and took flight from the branches.
"Brother!"
A sharp scream struck my heart.
The small lantern he was carrying fell to the ground and went out.
"Cold... my stomach hurts."
A voice, trembling with sobs, came through.
At the foot of Cuiwei Mountain, the snow is thick and white.
Suddenly it transformed into yellow mud and black tiles, a desk under the lamp.
Ah Yuan leaned against his doorway, choking back tears, as she bid him farewell: "I'm going to die. You must take good care of Father and Mother from now on..."
He suddenly stood up and saw a red mark on the reed mat she was holding to her chest, and crimson spots on the back of her skirt.
His face flushed red to his ears, and he was both amused and exasperated. "It's nothing, how could I die?"
He couldn't resist opening his robe and wrapping her inside.
"Won't I die? Then why is my stomach hurting and I'm bleeding nonstop?" She looked up at her pale face, tears glistening in her eyes.
"I... I can't explain it clearly." He suddenly became tongue-tied. "But it doesn't matter. This is called, it's called, Tian Gui... It means, you've grown up. When you grow up, this is how it is."
She clutched her stomach, still worried, "Will you be like this when you grow up?"
"I am a man. Men and women are different."
His face flushed red, and he lowered his eyes.
She's grown up; she's no longer the skinny little girl I remember. She's reached the age of 14.
It's that time of year again when peaches and plums bloom.
She stood tall and graceful, with skin as white as snow and eyes as ethereal as smoke.
He was momentarily dazed, then reached out to grab it. The snow and smoke dissipated, and his palm was empty.
"Ayu, look carefully!..."
The blade illuminated the man's face.
The person opposite him opened and closed their lips, spitting out those words through gritted teeth.
He suddenly withdrew his sword, deflected it, and slashed at the man's forearm.
Xiao Xun's sword was clearly held in his right hand, yet he did not push it away.
That was the Crimson Sky Sword; he had seen it when he was a child.
Placed in a corner of the Xuan Room, it exudes majesty and boundless brilliance.
It protected A-Yuan in front of her, along with the man's wide sleeves, blocking the flying hidden weapons and the possible bloodshed.
Even though the hidden weapon was no longer flying, the assassin had blended into the masked dancers and disappeared without a trace.
Xiao Xun pulled Lin Yuan behind him, then withdrew his sword and knocked the sword out of Lin Yu's hand.
"Ayu!"
Lin Yuan pounced on him.
He opened his arms.
"—Brother! Brother!"
The sound came on the snowy wind.
The twin lanterns were blown into eerie, ghostly shadows.
Only that sound remained.
It's empty.
Thoroughly, completely.
The sword blade he retracted casually parted a Nuo opera mask, which landed at his feet, its face contorted in a hideous grimace.
The bronze mask reflected his face when he looked down.
He put his arm around Lin Yuan's shoulder and held her tightly.
"Hey, my brother is here."
They stepped over the bronze surface.
"Brother—"
His eyes met Lin Yuan's face, her eyes clear and her smile charming.
Bathed in the sunlight of the east wing of the East Garden, she pointed to the plate of pastries as white as frost and snow, "This is delicious."
“I remember seeing almond cake on Young Master Xiao’s desk yesterday.” Lin Yu looked over and smiled faintly. “Besides chicken eggs, it seems Young Master Xiao has a particular fondness for almond cake.”
“This is hazelnut cake.” Xiao Xun glanced at Lin Yuan, then came to his senses and said seriously.
"Really?" Lin Yu picked up a piece. "This hazelnut cake, in color and style, is quite...unique."
Xiao Xun raised the corners of his lips and said slowly, "I have many brothers and sisters in my family. I have an eldest sister-in-law who loves novel things. When I was young, she made this kind of pastry, using hazelnuts instead of almonds. She said the taste was similar. Yesterday, I mentioned it to A Yuan, and I was a little tempted, so I asked the chef to try making it."
Lin Yu asked casually, "When you were young? So now, does Young Master Xiao's elder sister-in-law no longer cook? Did she not cook well the first time?"
He placed the pastries onto Lin Yuan's plate.
"Whether it's good or not, try it yourself."
Lin Yuan pressed down on his hand that was holding the chopsticks and forced it back into his mouth.
Xiao Xun knew that she did this because she didn't want him to think about the deceased again. A warm feeling welled up in his heart, and he smiled tenderly at her, saying, "Delicious. Very delicious."
Lin Yuan asked in surprise, "Didn't you tell me tomorrow that it was particularly unpalatable? That it was bitter?"
"I remembered it wrong."
Lin Yuan gave a disgruntled twitch at the corner of her mouth.
"I just ate one. I just remembered that my eldest sister-in-law actually makes this hazelnut almond cake very well, extremely well. She is an extremely intelligent person and has put in a lot of effort. The food she makes is no less than that of any imperial chef, food official, or cook. It was quickly snatched up by a group of children."
Xiao Xun explained, then sighed self-deprecatingly, "I just don't know why, even though what I taste is sweet and fragrant, when I put it in my memory, it always tastes bitter and astringent."
“I told you yesterday that my eldest sister-in-law likes novelty.” He smiled at Lin Yuan, then turned his gaze to Lin Yu. “When I was little, I did think so. But later, my mother told me that it was because her children couldn’t eat almonds.”
Lin Yu took bites of the hazelnut almond cake.
Fingers and lips were covered in icing and powder.
“It’s not bitter,” he said.
He lowered his head, his fingers twirling fine white powder.
"If you find the memories painful, just don't think about them or dwell on them," he said slowly, wiping his fingers with a handkerchief.
After a moment, Lin Yu raised her eyes and said, "Logically speaking, it's rare for childhood memories to still feel bitter now. Could it be that Young Master Xiao felt bitter because he couldn't get it back then and felt resentful?"
He stared directly at Xiao Xun.
“…Maybe.” Xiao Xun met the sunlight streaming through the window behind Lin Yu, squinted slightly, and curled his lips into a smile. “I only managed to snag one bite.”
Lin Yuan laughed and said gently, "Food tastes best when everyone's fighting over it. The first bite you get is definitely the sweetest and most fragrant."
Lin Yu suddenly spoke up: "Is this why you've been stealing food from me since you were little?"
"Oh!" Lin Yuan blushed when Lin Yu exposed her secret.
She picked up the almond cake from the plate and stuffed it into Lin Yu's mouth, scolding, "Eat yours, eat more, and talk less."
Lin Yu turned her face away to avoid it, but the almond cake hit her cheek, leaving a white mark.
"Are you angry?"
He smiled and patted her head, his still-dry fingers leaving a white mark on Lin Yuan's hair.
"It's one thing to steal food, but to brazenly tell Father and Mother that your brother is full and can't eat anymore, so he's helping me eat. And I should thank you, shouldn't I?"
Lin Yu smiled and said to Xiao Xun, "Guess what she said made me full? A thousand bushels of millet!"
"How old was I back then?"
Lin Yuan, slightly annoyed and reproachful, smeared her hands with sugar-coated rice flour and got up to smear it on Lin Yu's face.
Lin Yu dodged quickly, grabbed Lin Yuan's wrist, and laughed, "How old? Let me think, is it five?"
Compared to the tender moments just now, the scene before Xiao Xun was much more pleasing to the eye.
Lin Yuan's white hair and nose tip made her incredibly lively and adorable.
She's been this cute since she was little.
For some reason, he recalled the scenes of playing with his friends when he was a child.
There seems to be some snow as fine and white as this.
They were playfully fighting, and seeing that he was losing, he shouted, "I am your uncle! Didn't your teachers teach you to be filial to your parents when you are out and respectful to your elders when you are at home?"
"Uncle, disrespectful!"
Xiao Yu raised his eyebrows slightly, bowed, and as he straightened up, he jumped up and threw a handful of snow onto his head.
His hair instantly turned completely white.
Xiao Yu narrowed his eyes and examined him closely: "Now that's how an uncle should look."
Before anyone could react, Xiao Yu was laughing so hard she was doubled over when he was also pelted with a handful of snow, turning her hair white, even her eyelashes turned white.
Su Chan burst into laughter, "I think you two are going to... hahaha, grow old together."
Thinking of this, he couldn't help but smile: "It seems that Master Lin didn't teach us about brotherly love, respect, and filial piety..."
Before he could finish speaking, a piece of almond cake was flung out and landed squarely on his forehead.
He was caught off guard, and his temples turned white.
Grow old together.
He suddenly heard those words again and couldn't help but look at Lin Yuan.
"Master Lin is right, brothers quarrel within the walls..." Lin Yuan paused upon seeing this.
The words "defend against external aggression" stuck in her throat. She gave an awkward laugh, and when she saw Xiao Xun looking over, she quickly pointed at Lin Yu and said, "It's him, it's Lin Yu's fault."
Lin Yu pretended to slam his fist on the table, his brows furrowed slightly, a hint of anger in his voice: "What I taught you was followed by 'defend against external aggression.' Young Master Xiao, you be the judge."
Xiao Xun pressed his temples, chuckled softly, and took a sip of tea without replying.
Yes, they are related.
Only close relatives can act so recklessly and unreasonably.
However, for some reason, the smile on the face reflected in the tea gradually turned bitter and faded.
He suddenly felt empty inside, and a sense of loneliness and desolation welled up inside him.
As his loved ones died one by one, he first put away his playful nature, and then his childlike innocence.
He threw the chariot, football, pitch-pot, liubo chess, and three-foot wooden sword into the charcoal brazier.
The charcoal brazier exploded with sparks, billowing black smoke three zhang high, much like the black snow that swept through Chang'an.
At that moment, he suddenly regretted it and rushed over to save him, but Wang Fu held him tightly in his arms.
He pounded on the arms that were holding him, his throat and eyes stung by the black smoke, and he burst into tears.
I cried so hard that my internal organs ached.
This was the first time I truly felt it: Xiao Yu was dead. Mother was dead. They had been dead for many days.
But he couldn't save them, he couldn't save them anymore.
He hated himself for being just a child. For being unable to do anything.
The bitterness of the tea filled his mouth, and he thought wistfully, "Xiao Yu... if Xiao Yu were still here, how wonderful that would be."
Would he joke with him in such a serious manner?
Only Xiao Yu could do it.
He had few relatives and even fewer friends.
Those who were friends before he ascended the throne can probably be called friends; those who came afterward are all subjects of the ruler.
But he had lived within the walls of the palace since childhood, and knew very few people, mostly servants and guards.
He and Xiao Jin never got along. Su Chan was a woman, and their tastes differed. When Xiao Yu was around, Su Chan was practically irrelevant. Later, even Xiao Jin and Su Chan left one after another.
Ling Feng and Gongsun Zhao were his close advisors. They trusted each other and adhered to the proper etiquette between ruler and subject.
Looking at Lin Yu in front of him, for some reason, he kept thinking of Xiao Yu over and over again.
He longed to play pitch-pot, have a sword fight, and race horses with Xiao Yu. He wanted to see him lose to him.
Over the years, he has improved his horsemanship and archery skills almost daily.
“You have those wandering knights in Siqi Garden to teach you, and I have the Imperial Guard’s Palace Attendant to teach me. In half a month, we’ll have a final showdown.”
Half a month eventually became an indefinite period. Will he never lose to himself?
As he smiled wryly with regret, he heard Lin Yu rise, lifting his robe, "Thank you for your hospitality, Young Master Xiao. Ah Yuan, we should be leaving now."
He bowed to Xiao Xun and looked out the window: "The sun is shining brightly, perfect for riding a horse."
Upon hearing this, Lin Yuan stood up abruptly.
Xiao Xun stood up as well: "Master Lin, are you leaving the Prince's residence?"
Lin Yu nodded slightly: "The Prince's mansion was closed for several days a while ago, and yesterday, an assassin appeared at the mansion, which is unsettling..."
Xiao Xun quickly interrupted, saying, "Master Lin, the matter of the assassin will be investigated by the Grand Master of Ceremonies and others. Since such a thing happened in the Prince's mansion, the guards have already been increased, and the Grand Master of Ceremonies has also dispatched more of his Imperial Guards. Besides, the weather is still cold these days, and A-Yuan is afraid of the cold and has a weak constitution, so she should not be overworked."
"The sun is shining brightly at midday, and there's no wind or clouds, so it's not cold at all," Lin Yu said with a smile, his hands behind his back. "Young Master Xiao, you should know this well from what I said last time when you were only wearing your undergarments."
Xiao Xun frowned: "Although Master Lin is A Yuan's brother, he cannot make such arrangements on his own."
"I'm handling my own family affairs, and I think that's none of your business, Young Master Xiao," Lin Yu chuckled lightly. "I am rather unwilling to let Young Master Xiao interfere in other people's family matters without permission."
Xiao Xun let out a sigh of frustration and still asked, "What if A-Yuan doesn't want to?"
"Unwilling?" Lin Yu said with amusement. "I've known A Yuan for twenty years longer than Young Master Xiao. How could I not understand A Yuan's wishes and preferences?"
"That's not necessarily true. Master Lin has been in Huaiyang for over four years, while A-Yuan only arrived here from Chang'an a little over ten days ago. How do you know that A-Yuan's temperament and preferences haven't changed over the years?"
Lin Yu's eyes darkened imperceptibly, and she said coldly, "That's still more than Young Master Xiao, who has only known A Yuan for three or five days since his arrival. He should know more."
Lin Yuan stood aside, absentmindedly listening to their back-and-forth argument, when she suddenly noticed the two of them looking at her and asking in unison, "Yuan, what do you think?"
Xiao Xun waited for Lin Yuan's reply, and for no reason felt a little nervous. His hands under his sleeves clenched tightly without him realizing it.
He was determined to have Lin Yuan.
He knew she was soft-hearted, kind, and loyal, so he coaxed her into agreeing to take care of him and to stay in the East Garden.
The princess's tireless efforts to persuade him were also his subtle hint.
In this way, he could get closer and closer to her.
In this way, Master He, whose eyes were always on her, wouldn't have to hover around her every day. Xiao Jin, who was also fond of women, would also have something to be wary of. Furthermore, her wise and capable elder brother, who was always by her side, wouldn't have to live with her anymore. He actually… actually lost to Lin Yu in the game of pitch-pot, and also to that sword strike. It was an unintentional mistake on his part, and it was also unintentional on the other person's part, but to say it out loud was truly—too embarrassing.
But when he learned the real reason why Lin Yuan was avoiding him and determined to leave the palace, he suddenly felt deflated.
His explanations of almond cake and hazelnut cake were so pale and weak.
The phrase "It has nothing to do with it" choked him up, preventing him from saying more. Those four crisp words clearly meant, "It's none of my business."
Love or hate, it's none of my business.
There is love, or there is hate, or love has turned into hate, that's fine too.
But there was nothing, absolutely nothing.
When she said those words, there was no anger, no accusation, no resentment. It was as if she was really just talking to him about hazelnuts and almonds, about some blind fool who was deceiving himself and calling a deer a horse.
Lin Yuan hesitated, then bit her lip and remained silent, following Lin Yu outside.
Behind him, Xiao Xun stared blankly at the light filtering through the two doors, which grew narrower and narrower until only the light through the cracks remained, piercing him like a blade.
He picked up a piece of hazelnut cake, the frosting and rice flour swirling in his palm, and sighed softly, "Only you. It's always been you. Really."
A moment later, the figure in the light disappeared, the hazelnut cake was left on the table, and the teacup was overturned.
He chased after her without looking back.
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The author's note: ①瀹: yue, fourth tone. 瀹鸡子, from "Qimin Yaoshu". The method is to break the egg, boil it for a while, pour it into boiling water, and take it out after it floats to the surface. Add salt and vinegar.
Waaah, brother.
Xiao Xun: You are Xiao Yu. You are not Xiao Yu. You are Xiao Yu, not Xiao Yu…
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