If Wei You's previous thoughts about himself were still at the guessing stage, after seeing Wei Xu's performance, he immediately confirmed most of his guess.
The air seemed to freeze. There was silence all around, even quieter than a snowy night.
Then Wei You sighed, leaned back on the sofa, and said calmly: "Come and sit down, I have something to ask you."
Wei Xu took difficult steps, his slippers making almost no sound on the floor.
In the past, he would sit directly next to Wei You, but this time he sat distantly on the side of the table.
He glanced at the little cat on the table and then lowered his gaze.
Wei You tilted his head to look at him. The young man lowered his head with half of his face hidden in the shadows. His expressionless face was as cold as porcelain.
In an instant, Wei You felt that he was a little strange again. He was as calm and indifferent as a mature adult, completely different from the kid in his memory.
After a moment of silence, he got straight to the point and asked, "Do you still like the girl you liked in junior high school?"
Wei Xu nodded quietly.
Wei You: "Still haven't told him yet?"
Wei Xu: “No.”
"Why not?"
Wei Xu took a deep breath and replied, "I'm afraid if I tell him, he will leave me."
Wei You swallowed unconsciously, his chest heaving rapidly, and then asked, "Is he from your school?"
Wei Xu shook his head.
"Did he learn painting with you?"
Wei Xu paused and shook his head.
"Is it a girl?"
"Brother," Wei Xu raised his eyes and looked at him, "You have obviously guessed it."
He stared at Wei You without any hesitation, as if saying: You obviously know it was you, why don't you dare admit it?
"Shall I tell you his name?"
"No, thanks." Wei You closed his eyes, feeling almost desperate.
He really couldn't understand it. Recalling every time he had been with Wei Xu in the past, he had never given the other party any hint in this regard.
Since they rented the house, the two of them had been in love with each other. In terms of words, deeds and daily teachings, he only treated the other as a younger brother. It was difficult for him to understand why Wei Xu had such feelings for him.
What made the girl like him even more was that he was the one who raised her with his own hands. This was much more difficult to handle than a friend who he had known for more than ten years suddenly confessing his love to him.
Even if Xia Guangsi suddenly became gay and told him that he had been secretly in love with him for many years, he would not be as conflicted and upset as he is now.
"Is it difficult?" Wei Xu said in a tone lacking vitality: "Actually, there is no need to be difficult. You can pretend that you don't know. I have prepared myself for you to never know. I said a long time ago that I just want to love you silently and don't want to add any other burden to you."
"Now that things have come to this, how do you want me to pretend?" Wei You said in a bad tone, inevitably with a hint of wanting to vent his depressed emotions.
Wei Xu pursed his lips, his Adam's apple slid slightly, and his face looked very pale.
After a moment of silence, Wei You breathed a sigh of relief, tried to calm down, looked at him and asked, "When did it start?"
"I really confirmed it when I was fourteen," Wei Xu replied, "but maybe it started much earlier."
So, it has been more than three years.
Wei You felt unbelievable.
This brat had already had such feelings for him when he was thirteen or fourteen years old, but he didn't even realize it.
He couldn't help but think back to the past three years, and many incomprehensible scenes from the past rushed into his mind.
No wonder Wei Xu posted those ambiguous posts on his social media at that time, no wonder he was interested in the movie Farewell My Concubine, no wonder he said "You don't understand" so sadly during the argument that day...
Now, all the actions that he couldn't figure out in the past have clear answers.
Even though Wei Xu told him not to care about his feelings, Wei You still felt very ashamed after what happened, so ashamed that he didn't want to face reality.
His eyes fell on the row of dolls in front of him. He didn't dare to imagine what kind of mentality Wei Xu had when he made these dolls that looked like himself when he was not around.
"The doll is quite lifelike. I was shocked when I saw it," he said in a self-deprecating tone.
"Because I poured my love into it." Wei Xu said almost desperately.
Wei You found it difficult to respond. Although the scene was very quiet, his mind was filled with vague noises, making him anxious and restless.
After forcing himself to hold back for a moment, he couldn't stand the atmosphere anymore and stood up abruptly, saying, "You're making me sick with hunger!
After saying that, he took big strides towards the room as if he was running away.
Wei Xu stood up right after him and called him "Brother" before he entered his room.
Wei You stopped but did not turn around.
"Do you still remember Mr. Ma who said he would wait for you?"
Before Wei You could say anything, Wei Xu continued, "She got married last year."
"Oh...really? That's good." Wei You continued dryly.
"I've always been jealous of her for being able to say this to you openly, but now I have the chance to say it."
Wei Xu stared at his back and spoke slowly and clearly: "Maybe other people promised to wait for you, but they will give up in the end. I am different. I will not give up.
"I have been growing up while waiting for you to come back. I have been waiting for so many years. If I don't continue to wait, all the time I have spent will be wasted. This has always been my belief. So when I say I will wait for you, I mean waiting for a lifetime."
Wei You really wanted to reply, “Don’t talk about your whole life at such a young age,” but when he opened his mouth, it was as if a stone was blocking his throat, making it difficult for him to speak.
Finally, he went into the room without saying anything and closed the door.
After turning on the light, Wei Youyuan wanted to sit on the chair, but when he looked down, he found that the table was full of Wei Xu's books. Turning his head, he saw Wei Xu's pillow on the bed and Wei Xu's clothes on the bedside.
In three years, Wei Xu has filled this room with his traces.
Before, I said that I moved to this room because of the good lighting, but now I think it may not be that simple.
Wei You lay down on the recliner and covered his face with a blanket.
He found it ridiculous that his ability to face reality calmly was not as strong as that of a high school sophomore.
But this cannot be blamed on him. No matter how you look at it, this incident happened too suddenly, leaving him no time to prepare.
That kid too, admitted it so readily. He had been hiding it for so long, why couldn't he continue hiding it?
Just make up a few excuses and he might believe it.
For a moment, Wei You, who was at his wit's end, came up with this idea.
His mind had never been so confused as it was now. Reality and memories were intertwined and intertwined, making his already chaotic thoughts as if he was wrapped in an unknown fog, unable to struggle out and escape.
I wish I could hide away and have a good sleep without caring about anything, so that when I wake up I might find that it was just a nightmare.
However, reality is reality, and Wei You knows better than anyone that he must find a solution.
He lay in the rocking chair and thought hard for a long time, but still couldn't come up with a good solution.
What should I do next?
Should I continue to stay here or leave decisively?
It would be cruel to leave.
Although a short pain is worse than a long one, he couldn't bear to bring pain to Wei Xu.
The child had been unfortunate enough in the dozen or so years of his life, and he didn't want to be the source of his misfortune in the next few years.
But he couldn't give the other party the response he wanted. Wasn't it a torture to stay here?
And it is torture for both parties.
Although his thoughts were confused and complicated, Wei You was very sure of one thing: he could not accept Wei Xu's love, at least not now.
It's not just because of the gender and age issues. The bigger obstacle is that Wei Xu is a child he has watched grow up. He has always treated him as a younger brother and has never had the slightest thought of crossing the line. No matter what, it is impossible to overcome that obstacle.
Wei You leaned forward in the rocking chair, sighing again and again. For the first time, he realized how terrible his indecisive character was.
He naturally wanted to find the best of both worlds to solve the problem, but how to solve it?
The best possibility is of course that Wei Xu has misunderstood his own feelings. He only has the kind of admiration for an elder, and not love for Lai Nanbu Ding.
Maybe Wei Xu really made a mistake.
Maybe he doesn't like me at all, but just because I am the best and closest to him, and because I have been away from time to time in the past ten years, he has mistaken dependence as love in his waiting and longing, and stubbornly trapped himself in the illusion that "I seem to like him".
That's not love, it's just obsession.
There is no solution to love, but obsession can be resolved.
Having said that, although Wei Xu looks mature, he is actually only seventeen years old. How much can a seventeen-year-old understand? Thinking back to his first love at the age of seventeen, doesn’t it seem ridiculous now?
Thinking of this, Wei You suddenly perked up, as if he had been wandering in the complex mountains for a long time late at night and could not find a way to leave, but now he was led to the right path by an accidental discovery, and the scenery before him suddenly became clear.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt that this was the case, and finally decided to go out and have a heart-to-heart talk with Wei Xu, if he was still asleep.
Wei Xu really didn't sleep. Not only did he not sleep, he also didn't stay in his original position.
Wei You opened the door and saw him squatting on the ground beside the door, just like when he was beaten as a child, hugging his knees, lowering his head, sitting motionless with his back against the wall.
"What are you doing here?"
Wei Xu slowly raised his head, stared at him with his black and white eyes, and said with a slightly trembling voice: "I'm afraid you'll leave."
He seemed to have cried, with a slight blush at the corners of his eyes, but his face was still pale, making his face look both fragile and pitiful, yet exceptionally beautiful and elegant.
"I won't leave." The other person's pitiful appearance reminded Wei You of his childhood experience, and he unconsciously slowed down his tone and asked with concern: "Have you drunk the soup?"
Wei Xu shook his head.
"Aren't you hungry?"
"Hungry."
"If you're hungry, go have some soup. I'll go too." Wei You stretched out his hand to him, "Get up."
Wei Xu was stunned for a moment, then raised his right hand and placed it on his hand.
Wei You felt the heat coming from his palm, and his eyes unconsciously fell on the two neon lights.
Perhaps it was because of his different state of mind when looking at the young man, he discovered for the first time that the blue veins extending from the back of his hand were so graceful.
When I walked into the kitchen, I heard a rustling sound coming from outside the window. There was a layer of fog on the glass window. It must be raining.
"Did the weather forecast say it would rain tonight?" Wei You asked in his usual tone while taking a bowl from the cupboard.
Wei Xu looked at him cautiously and whispered, "It seems so."
The soup is kept warm over low heat in the casserole, and a rich aroma wafts out when the lid is opened.
Wei You served two bowls of soup and added a piece of pork shank to Wei Xu's bowl.
The two of them walked to the dining table and turned on the overhead light. The dim light fell on the tablecloth with a willow leaf pattern.
Wei You stared aimlessly at the glass edges of the vase that were shining with colorful light, while he was preparing a speech in his mind, considering how to start the conversation.
At this time, I heard the crisp sound of bones hitting the ceramic bowl. I looked up and saw Wei Xu holding the chopsticks loosely. The leg bone was lying in the soup bowl, and a few drops of soup were splashed on the tablecloth around it.
"I didn't hold it firmly and it slipped." He explained, pursing his lips.
Wei You only then realized that he didn't know when his eyes had turned red again, tears were accumulating in his eye sockets, and his eyes were flashing with the sound of a badger.
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