Chapter 39: Unsnowy Season "Secret love is so painful."...
"2019.01.01 Light Rain"
Happy New Year, y.
There was no snow this year, and I didn’t see you.
——Excerpt from Tao Shuran’s Diary
*
Lin Tingzhou sneered: "Do you know what it feels like to like someone?"
Liang Yuanjing stretched his arms: "I think so."
"I have no right to consider love."
How can you say that? It's just about going to a military academy for two or three years of closed training, but when he says it, it sounds like a farewell to life and death, and he is destined to live alone.
Lin Tingzhou made a "tsk" sound. For the first time in his life, he felt that it was not a good idea to cultivate too high a sense of moral responsibility in this child.
Lin Tingzhou, sensitive to female emotions, couldn't help but remind him, "Are you absolutely sure she doesn't have any feelings for you?"
"What if she falls in love with you? You have to be responsible for her."
Liang Yuanjing pulled his lip: "She has someone she likes."
"There won't be such a day, even if there is——"
He raised his chin slightly, narrowed his dark eyes, and said in a firm tone with a somewhat rebellious attitude -
"I can afford it."
Lin Tingzhou stood there looking at him, and suddenly let out a long sigh.
"Liang Yuanjing, do you know that you have been saying one thing and thinking another since you were a child?"
"Your grandfather retired due to health reasons and could no longer fly. To fulfill his wish, you took the initiative to ask for flying lessons. At that time, you said it was your hobby, but you didn't mean it."
Liang Yuanjing's thin eyelids moved.
He said softly, "Now, it really is my hobby and dream."
"But not everything is in your hands. Many things, like love, are only realized after they are lost."
Lin Tingzhou jokingly said, "The child who says one thing and means another can only cry while holding the empty glass jar."
"Yeah?"
Hearing her suggestion, Liang Yuanjing smiled disapprovingly and shrugged his shoulders, looking mischievous and carefree.
“But I don’t really feel like it right now.”
His tone became more serious. "I just hope she becomes better. I hope she's upbeat and strong. Even if she's weak, she'll blossom into her own flower."
When he becomes successful in the future, he can also proudly announce to others:
This is a flower he watered with his own hands.
It seems to be similar to the procedure Tao Shuran used to raise 0713?
Thinking of this, a smile appeared in Liang Yuanjing's eyes. The phone in his trouser pocket rang, and he greeted Lin Tingzhou.
While holding the phone, he walked out and reminded Lin Tingzhou the second before answering the call:
"She's quite talented, please remember to take good care of her."
*
After leaving Lin Tingzhou's house, Tao Shuran felt a little absent-minded.
Not wanting to leave a bad impression on the teacher by leaving without saying goodbye, she pretended to be calm before leaving, sorted out the materials and placed them on the desk, and wrote a text message explaining the reason for leaving.
After all this was done, Tao Shuran finally couldn't control her emotions anymore and sadness came flooding out.
She hid under the bus stop, tears streaming silently, and her tightly bitten lower lip lost its color.
Liang Yuanjing's words "I don't like her" echoed a hundred times in her mind.
The beliefs that he had held on to for the entire summer were shattered at this moment, and Tao Shuran felt as if his efforts were in vain.
Liang Yuanjing doesn't like her.
Perhaps, Liang Yuanjing will never like her.
The cruel truth shattered the bubble of fantasy and was revealed. She tossed and turned in many sleepless mornings, always wondering if they had a chance of true love.
Therefore, constellations, horoscopes, horoscopes, these childish tricks, all became possibilities for her to find hope in the small.
But now, before she could muster up the courage to confess to him, she had already heard the answer.
Heavy rain began to fall in the city. The sudden rain seemed like God's response to this terrible ending.
"Tao Shuran?"
Liang Yuanjing held the mobile phone and could barely see a small figure in the hazy rain and fog.
He trotted over in the rain and saw her bending over and hugging her knees. Her hair was wet on one side by the rain, making her look a little disheveled.
"I've found the person. I'm hanging up now."
"Hey? I'm telling you, don't tell her about Xu Yanyang's relationship. Don't bring up anything that's not relevant to the topic."
On the phone, Zhao Zhengnian was still chattering away.
Liang Yuanjing hung up the phone and turned to look at her, thinking it was too late. Judging from her expression, she probably already knew the news.
He was just about to take the seat next to her.
Tao Shuran said gloomily: "Liang Yuanjing, let's keep some distance."
"Why, you want to keep your distance from me because of random romances with other men?"
Liang Yuanjing snorted softly, propped up his arms and looked at her calmly.
Tao Shuran slowly raised her head and looked at him with a pair of eyes that were moved by tears, with an obvious look of grievance.
Even Liang Yuanjing was stunned for a moment, and almost felt that he was the scumbag who had let her down.
He didn't bring any paper, so he simply took off his shirt and jacket, rolled it up and stuffed it into her hand.
Not too gently, he said, "Wipe your tears and hair."
Tao Shuran did not reach out her hand. She looked up at him. He was born with a good appearance, and his deep eyes were slightly raised. Even though he was cold, he seemed to be bewitching people all the time.
In an instant, the small space was surrounded by his refreshing breath.
It is closeness but also a trap, it is sweetness but also torture.
Tonight, Tao Shuran's emotions were a little broken. She lowered her head and couldn't help sobbing, and begged him in a pleading tone.
"Liang Yuanjing, do you know that the closer you get to me, the sadder I become."
Just because of the news that Xu Yanyang is in love?
Is she going to vent her anger on him because of another man?
Liang Yuanjing put the tip of his tongue against his cheek and suddenly sneered.
He immediately said, "If you feel troubled, we can end this relationship."
The air fell into a long-lost silence, and the condensed atmosphere was like a mass of dark clouds, so dark that it was hard to breathe.
Tao Shuran remained silent, her drooping hair hiding the look in her eyes.
It seemed like she was gifted like this most of the time, and no one could see through her restrained emotions unless they wanted to.
Liang Yuanjing pressed his tongue against her cheek, not understanding where the anger in his heart came from, and he just silently sent her back to school.
At the moment of parting, he turned and left.
Suddenly she felt a little unhappy, and his hot body moved closer, grabbing her arm directly.
"I'm going to a city in the northwest for three months of closed-door training. My flight is early tomorrow morning. I can't explain it over the phone, so I'll just say goodbye to you."
"I just bought a random gift. Let's each calm down for three months."
The tone of his voice was cold and hard, and it was obvious that he was in a bad mood.
In the wind, Tao Shuran's tears dried on her face, and her cheeks felt a stinging pain. When she heard his words, her vision became dazed for a moment.
So Liang Yuanjing came to say goodbye to her tonight?
She suddenly felt regretful and a surge of self-blame came over her.
Tao Shuran bit her lower lip sadly and whispered to him -
"Liang Yuanjing, I'm sorry."
"If you want to break up, then break up."
Liang Yuanjing glanced at her. The girl looked very bad, pale, and shaky. She looked very fragile.
In his impression, Tao Shuran was always gentle and reserved, like a quietly blooming camellia, but she always lost her composure again and again because of a man.
This shouldn't happen.
At least she shouldn't.
Liang Yuanjing sighed, feeling that the line in his heart retreated a little, because the anger at being taken out on was gone. There was an idea in his mind that kept clamoring, as if he was born to indulge Tao Shuran without any bottom line.
So he looked her in the eyes and said, "You never have to say sorry to me."
"My choice is up to you."
*
Three months is neither long nor short.
After spending a winter vacation without Liang Yuanjing, Tao Shuran sometimes felt dazed, as if they had never met before.
The summer of 2017 seemed like a beautiful dream in her life.
During these three months, she reflected on her last performance.
In fact, Liang Yuanjing was innocent. It was she who failed to control her emotions that day and forced her need for feedback from her secret love on him.
But most secret crushes have no answer, right?
On the first day, Tao Shuran was already prepared for the project to end in vain.
She lowered her eyes and stood in front of the mailbox at the entrance of the alley with the green paint peeling off, in a daze.
"What are you thinking about, Tao Shuran."
The familiar voice brought Tao Shuran back to her senses. She turned around and looked at Fu Changpei, who had appeared out of nowhere, and was obviously a little surprised.
"Are you back from school?"
"Well, I came back to see my grandma and inherit the family business."
As he spoke, Fu Changpei took out a green apple flavored lollipop from his pocket as if by magic and handed it to her.
Tao Shuran's eyes lit up for a moment: "My favorite flavor! Didn't you say it was sold out when I went to your house two days ago?"
Fu Changpei raised his eyebrows: "Just replenished the goods."
He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I bought a whole box of green apple flavor."
Tao Shuran was happy and gave him a thumbs up.
She looked up at him with some emotion and said, "I haven't seen you for a long time. Why do I feel like you've grown a little taller?"
"Yeah?"
Fu Changpei felt a little embarrassed by what she said, and his face, slightly buried in his black down jacket, couldn't help but turn red.
He turned his head away and coughed lightly, changing the subject.
"Ajing said he won't be back for another two months, so I guess we won't be able to see him this summer."
Tao Shuran's eyelashes drooped, and her eyes dimmed for a moment.
The voices also dropped.
"We haven't talked in a long time."
When the name Liang Yuanjing was mentioned, the girl in front of him turned into the dejected little bird standing in front of the mailbox just now.
Fu Changpei asked softly, "Is there a conflict?"
Tao Shuran nodded twice heavily.
Perhaps due to his personality, Fu Changpei is a very suitable person to listen to. He is taciturn and rarely shares his feelings with others, but he has a unique talent in comforting others.
The depression that had accumulated over the winter vacation suddenly surfaced at this moment. As a secret sharer, Tao Shuran couldn't help but share his situation with him.
"I couldn't control my heart from getting close to him, but the overflowing emotions hurt both of us."
She sighed sincerely: "Secret love is really too painful."
Fu Changpei nodded thoughtfully.
"Actually, Jing is a very contradictory person, aloof yet warm. I first met him at the Math League, a team competition where you had to form a team. I took the initiative to choose him that day, and we later became inseparable friends."
"If you take a small step closer to him, you'll find he's actually very approachable."
Tao Shuran said helplessly: "But when I got closer to him, I wanted more."
"It's always like that."
Fu Changpei smiled and said, "I like someone. At first, I just wanted to accompany her, but gradually I became greedy and wanted her to look at me more."
"Secret love?" Tao Shuran suddenly sighed deeply and spoke in an emotional tone.
"It's just a little thing that often makes me sad."
Fu Changpei remained silent, put his hands in his pockets, and suddenly chuckled.
They both turned their heads in tacit understanding, and said the same words in the gazes they exchanged:
“But I enjoy it.”
After saying this, Tao Shuran reacted, looked at him a little confused and asked, "That's not right, what are you secretly in love with?"
Fu Changpei raised his eyebrows, and a rare lively expression appeared on his calm face.
He said slowly, "This involves another secret that cannot be told."
Tao Shuran puffed up his cheeks: "But I've told you all my secrets."
"That's my own guess."
He paused and spoke slowly, "But I can teach you how to get closer to Ajing."
Tao Shuran subconsciously asked: "Why?"
Fu Changpei just looked at her with a smile. His pair of gentle and watery eyes always contained many unreadable emotions, like a continuous late autumn rain.
As the light sways, the emotions revealed are as tiny as starlight.
Rather than possessing her, Fu Changpei hopes that the girl he loves can be happy.
*
The time of reunion with Liang Yuanjing was later than expected and more sudden than expected.
After an entire, invisible winter slipped away, the sycamore tree at the entrance of the alley began to sprout tender buds again, marking the beginning of the new year.
Tao Shuran lived the same life every day. He got up at seven o'clock, completed the day's schedule, and then went to the library to study, sleep, and wait for the next day to come.
Those turbulent emotions are gradually suppressed because of a person's departure. At the same time, the longing is like a vine, winding around like a branch.
These days, Tao Shuran has been reading a message over and over again. It was the only communication between her and Liang Yuanjing in the past few months.
On New Year's Day, she sent him a "Happy New Year" message under the pretext of a group message.
But unfortunately, this message received no response.
He seemed to have completely disappeared from her life, leaving her with plenty of space to calm down and confirming the rumors of their breakup.
Faced with those inquisitive gazes, Tao Shuran remained silent most of the time.
It wasn't until the school forum posted a thread titled "Have Liang Yuanjing and Tao Shuran from the flight class really broken up? I haven't seen them interact in three months" that the reality of the breakup truly dawned on me.
She couldn't deceive herself anymore.
Tao Shuran walked out of the teaching building sadly, holding a pile of theory-related reference books in his arms, and the chattering of his roommates in his ears.
As the biggest fan of CP, Luo Qiuya attaches more importance to their relationship than Tao Shuran himself.
"You really didn't break up?"
Luo Qiuya asked in confusion, "Then why have I never seen Liang Yuanjing take the initiative to call you on video? Isn't it supposed to be very annoying between couples?"
Because they are not a real couple.
Tao Shuran responded by saying, "Maybe the relationship has faded."
Luo Qiuya said angrily, "Ranran, you should take the initiative to know. Feelings are in your own hands. If he doesn't contact you, you should take the initiative to find him."
"He is in training. The signal is completely blocked and the content is confidential."
At this moment, Tao Shuran suddenly understood why Liang Yuanjing insisted on not falling in love.
This behavior of suddenly disappearing for two or three months in a relationship can really hurt the other person's feelings.
So he refuses all emotional approach, if he doesn't own, he won't hurt.
"Or maybe he's simply tired of it." Lin Shuang said surprisingly, "I've heard rumors before that people with a face like Liang Yuanjing, who is prone to romance, usually get tired of relationships after three months."
After these words were spoken, everyone actually calculated the time carefully.
Tan Yueyi whispered indignantly: "Isn't Liang Yuanjing just using cold violence to force Ranran to break up?"
"This is too inhuman."
Seeing that the topic was getting more and more off-topic, Tao Shuran was afraid that if she continued talking, Liang Yuanjing would become an unforgivable person in their mouths.
But there were many things she really couldn't explain.
I could only vaguely say, "I know he's not that kind of person."
"You can know a person's face but not his heart." Lin Shuang threw a fist and said indignantly, "A man's heart is the hardest to understand."
She was so excited that she swung her fist in the air half a circle, hitting Tao Shuran's pile of books right on target.
Both of them screamed in surprise, Lin Shuang was in pain, while Tao Shuran was frightened by the sudden collapse of the book.
Thick reference books fell down one after another, and several of them hit her instep hard, causing pain to spread.
Tao Shuran bit her lower lip and bent down to pick up the remaining books with difficulty.
Her movements were extremely strenuous, and she couldn't reach a few books that had fallen a little far away. Her fingers were turning pale from exerting so much force.
In my peripheral vision, a pair of black canvas shoes appeared.
Liang Yuanjing carried a bag loosely on his shoulders. Bathed in the afterglow of the setting sun, he bent down to pick up the book that had fallen on the ground.
Then, with a smile on his face, he leaned towards her with a youthful air.
The moment he saw him, Tao Shuran felt dazed as if he had met him again after a long separation.
With her eyes slightly wide open, she felt her long-silent heart slowly sprouting little buds of spring again.
Liang Yuanjing looked no different from before, except that he seemed taller, with sharper facial features and a slightly curved pair of thin lips.
He leaned over and was exactly like her usual self, his upturned peach blossom eyes were filled with smiles, and even his tone seemed bewitching.
"Long time no see, Tao Shuran."
In front of everyone, Liang Yuanjing lowered his posture and took the initiative to ask her -
"I don't know if you're still willing to be my girlfriend."
-----------------------
The author has something to say: I quietly opened a review section (actually I just remembered it today), everyone please feel free to leave a comment hahahaha.
We're breaking up soon, not two years later, haha. That would be too much torture for Ranran. It's a fake relationship but a real secret crush.
Liang Gou will soon be slapped in the face, and realize belatedly that he understood love at the moment of loss. Ahhh, the best part of the reunion is here.
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