Chapter 114 I Don't Want to See You Again
Shan Qingshan said he was going to sleep, but he didn't sleep at all that night.
This matter weighed heavily on Shan Qingshan's mind.
It cannot be ignored no matter what.
Zhou Chong was worried about him and hadn't slept either.
In the morning, Zhou Chong accompanied him to school and bought breakfast on the way. He exaggeratedly said that the egg pancakes were especially delicious and asked Shan Qingshan if he knew how to make them.
Upon arriving at the classroom, Shan Qingshan sat in the back row to accommodate Zhou Chong.
Zhou Chong had no books and asked Shan Qingshan if it was alright. He wondered if the teacher would kick him out if he came in, and whether he should squat under the table.
Shan Qingshan answered them one by one.
When class started, the teacher saw that Shan Qingshan, who usually sat in the front row, was sitting in the back, and there was a familiar-looking person next to him. The teacher didn't ask any questions.
The classmates, however, kept turning their heads to look over.
It looked like the two of them were going to do something in the back row.
Shan Qingshan remained unaffected and attended the class.
Zhou Chong was secretly playing on his phone, propping his head up with his hand.
As soon as get out of class ended, Zhou Chong started talking to Shan Qingshan again, chattering away nonstop.
During every break between classes, Shan Qingshan always has something to say.
After the morning classes ended, Zhou Chong and Shan Qingshan went to the cafeteria for lunch.
They were surrounded by onlookers along the way.
Zhou Chong kept talking the whole way, as if he were visiting the city for the first time. One minute he'd ask, "What's this building for?" The next he'd ask, "Which cafeteria has the best food?"
Even while getting food, they wouldn't stop. This looked delicious, and they wanted to eat that too, all while making comments.
"The cafeteria chef's cooking is not as good as yours."
"You should have told us earlier so we could have eaten at home."
"Our classes are all full, why bother cooking? This is pretty good, you should try it."
Zhou Chong picked up a piece of spare rib and placed it on his plate.
After dinner, on the way back, Zhou Chong bought two more cups of milk tea and strolled back with Shan Qingshan, still talking as they entered the house.
"The university courses are so intensive, it's even harder than high school—"
Someone grabbed her collar, and a soft touch pressed against her lips.
Zhou Chong stopped speaking abruptly, his eyes widening in disbelief.
Shan Qingshan: "You don't need to do that."
Zhou Chong fell silent.
After a while, he said, "It is a bit deliberate, but it's good to distract them a little bit."
Although Shan Qingshan responded to every word today, he seemed shrouded in gloom.
Being around him felt like being detached from the world.
Zhou Chong wanted him to be a little happier.
Even if it's just a little bit.
Shan Qingshan held his hand, snuggled into his arms, and enjoyed the warmth of Zhou Chong holding him tightly.
I really want to settle my accounts.
I want to, I want to so much.
After the afternoon classes ended, Zhou Chong took Shan Qingshan to the prison.
When Grandma saw Shan Qingshan, even though she was somewhat prepared, she still couldn't face him.
After a while, he slowly walked over and sat down at the table.
We'd been apart for less than two weeks, but seeing each other again felt like a lifetime had passed.
Grandma's voice was old and tired.
"So you found out after all."
Xiao Bao is so smart, she knew she couldn't hide it from her.
"Okay, I understand."
Compared to the old man's heartbroken expression, Shan Qingshan's demeanor was almost coldly calm.
Grandma gritted her teeth, her facial muscles twitched a few times, and she couldn't help but shed tears, choking back sobs.
"Is it my fault?"
Shan Qingshan remained silent.
The answer is self-evident.
Even though he knew why his grandmother had kept it a secret, and he knew that the affection they had shared over the past nineteen years was not entirely fake, the person in front of him still felt like a stranger.
Shan Qingshan's voice was calm.
"I'm planning to pick a day to move my mother's grave. I also want to move Shan Mingli's, my father's, grave together. I won't be going back there anymore."
Grandma looked at Shan Qingshan.
She knows her grandson best.
He was already different from his peers.
The calmer he was, the greater the wound in his heart.
"Xiao Bao, whether you're sad or disappointed, don't keep it inside. You can scold me, scold me... don't let it get to you."
Shan Qingshan: "I have nothing to say."
He understands everything.
Grandma was overcome with tears.
Shan Qingshan had effectively kept her outside the protective barrier he had erected around her.
They are no longer family.
"Go ahead and curse me! Curse me! I've kept this from you for so many years, and I've made you take care of me all these years! I even dragged you down to the mountains, and you almost didn't get to go to university! I've burdened you so much! I'm so sorry, it's all my fault!"
Shan Qingshan looked at her calmly for a long while.
"It's meaningless."
Grandma suddenly collapsed onto the table and burst into tears.
Dan Qingshan looked at her, his heart aching, but he couldn't shed a tear.
Indifference, calmness, disappointment, exhilaration...
A mix of inexplicable and indescribable emotions.
After the intertwining, everything returned to calm, without causing the slightest ripple.
Complete silence.
Shan Qingshan said what he was about to say.
"After you get out, I will find you a sanatorium and I will cover the cost."
Grandma looked at him in disbelief.
"Are you still willing to support me?"
"You really took care of me."
Grandma felt a pang of pain in her heart.
"Xiaobao, whether you believe it or not, Grandma loves you."
I believe it.
It is love.
It doesn't matter how much or how little love you receive.
Shan Qingshan had neither the inclination to think nor the ability to investigate.
He's like a machine now, doing what he's supposed to do.
What are the answers? How are other people feeling? Is the sun shining brightly or dimly outside?
He doesn't care.
Shan Qingshan pushed a business card over.
"Please write down this number. If you need anything, please contact this number."
Grandma froze, staring at Shan Qingshan in disbelief.
Aren't you coming?
"I don't want to come."
The voice was flat and even, narrating in a monotone.
Like a cold arrow, it pierced Grandma's heart.
"Xiao Bao, you..."
"I don't want to see you again, and please don't call me Xiaobao anymore." Shan Qingshan paused, "It sounds like you favor me."
"I... Xiaobao, don't do this, don't do this! We've depended on each other for so many years, how can you bear to abandon Grandma?"
Grandma stood up shakily, pleading, and leaned forward to grab Shan Qingshan's hand.
Shanqing Mountain avoided it.
The moment I learned the truth,
The thought of how he and his grandmother depended on each other for survival made him wish he could kill himself to atone for his parents' sins.
"Xiao Bao, I didn't mean what happened back then! Xiao Bao! Please forgive me, please forgive me!"
Grandma cried until she was exhausted and collapsed on the ground.
Shan Qingshan glanced at her, then turned and left.
When Grandma saw that he was about to leave, she didn't care about anything else, crawled towards him, and cried out in anguish.
She didn't want this to be the last time they met!
She abandoned her children, not wanting to lose her grandson too!
"Xiao Bao! Xiao Bao, don't leave Grandma! Xiao Bao!"
The iron gate opened and then closed again.
In the passageway, Zhou Chong leaned against the wall, quietly watching him.
The old man's wails still echoed.
Zhou Chong wished he could go in and kick the old lady's face, which was thicker than a city wall.
After a moment's pause, Shan Qingshan walked over and buried himself in his arms.
"I want to go home."
Zhou Chong hugged him. "I'll take you back."
"Um."
The car was waiting outside.
Dan Qingshan sat in the back seat, looking at the bright sunshine outside the car window.
The bright and warm light was visible to the naked eye, but when you reached out your hand, you could only touch the cold glass.
It's cold.
Dan Qingshan turned his head and found Zhou Chong looking at him with concern.
"Shall we do it?"
Zhou Chong asked, puzzled, "What?"
Want to have sex?
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