Chapter 92 Remembering My Cousin's Frail Body and My Childhood Sweetheart
She barged in like that, plundering with her bright, clear eyes.
His frail body was forced to lie naked before her, like a skeleton lying in a meat market.
Li Xunhuan knelt before the hall, like a withered tree rooted to the ground. He gazed at her, his emerald green eyes glistening with tears, the aftershocks of the previous encounter.
The walls of the tightly sealed room were covered with blood-written words, and all around were densely packed confessions.
'Father, brother! I'm sorry, I haven't been able to meet your expectations.'
'Brother, Shion—it's my fault for causing you half a lifetime of suffering.'
'Niannian, I'm worse than an animal.'
I'm so sorry.
'It's all my fault... I don't deserve it...'
Blood was oozing from the corner of his mouth, dripping onto the ground and seeping into the dark soil like nutrients.
Li Xunhuan has confessed his crimes and accepted his punishment. He is kneeling on the ground, repenting while enduring torture.
The crimson blood seeped into the ground like a bottomless pit, never to be filled.
He knelt here year after year, gazing at the dark hole in his heart, and could only continue to drink heavily and destroy himself, filling it with the blood he coughed up.
The more blood he coughed up, the more he could straighten his back slightly to rest, making 'Li Xunhuan' look relatively intact.
But guilt and pain were like the dark fog; he couldn't escape them. He could only cower in fear within this hard shell, terrified of being found.
Niannian's fingertips twitched slightly, her heart aching so much that she couldn't help but want to wipe away the blood for him, but this was just a nightmare hidden in his heart.
She gripped her wrist tightly, frowning, and asked, "Who exactly are you afraid of being found?"
The moment the voice fell, the blood-red characters on the wall distorted into blurry, indistinct ghostly figures. These lanky, humanoid figures swarmed around Li Xunhuan like dogs smelling a bone, layering them around him in the center.
They had a pair of chaotic, eerie fish eyes, which gleamed with a man-eating light.
What they were muttering was—
"Li Tanhua rose to fame at a young age, standing proudly in the martial arts world with his divine swordsmanship, truly a model of chivalry!"
"Little Li's Flying Dagger never misses its mark; he is renowned throughout the martial arts world!"
"To achieve the third-highest rank in the imperial examination at such a young age, possessing both literary and martial skills, truly brings glory to the family, worthy of being a third-highest rank scholar."
"That is the honor of having the Emperor personally inscribed it. Li Tanhua's knowledge, martial arts skills, and even character are certainly beyond ordinary people."
An eighteen-year-old third-place scholar in the imperial examinations, from a scholarly family, a family renowned for its academic achievements, with calligraphy personally inscribed by the emperor, and the legendary Li Xunhuan (Little Li Flying Dagger)...
They praised and admired him, yet their gaze remained fixed on him, as if trying to dig out the secrets hidden in his bones through his skin and flesh, and then laugh and drink his blood.
They tried to find fault with him, to verbally attack him, and to completely break his backbone.
Niannian said calmly, "You're afraid."
Li Xunhuan collapsed to the ground. How could he not be afraid that the Li family's plaque and the couplet "Seven Jinshi in one family, three Tanhua in one family" would be destroyed by his own hands?
He lived his life on thin ice, never daring to make a mistake or slack off.
The ghostly figure then pulled out human faces, transforming into the faces of deceased relatives.
"My dear Xunhuan, the glory of the Li family rests entirely in your hands. Do not bring shame upon our ancestors!"
"Brother, from now on, you will have to shoulder the heavy burden of the family alone."
"Your cousin is all alone and miserable. Even if you die, you can't let her suffer even a little bit!"
"Shiyin's mother is my own sister, you must take good care of her... I'm afraid Mother won't live to see your wedding day... Promise me."
After these figures finished speaking their last words, they all left him one by one, never to look back.
He reached out to grab it, only to find himself on a cliff edge when he stepped into thin air.
A pair of large, strong hands gripped him from behind, and the man called out with concern and anxiety, "Xunhuan! Are you alright?"
Li Xunhuan stared at him intently.
The man put his arm around his thin shoulder like a father or elder brother and said heartily, "From now on, I'll be your brother, and I'll protect you!"
His eyes reddened as he murmured, "Big brother..."
However, in the next instant, Long Xiaoyun's face turned ashen, and he pleaded with him through tears, "Xunhuan, I've fallen in love with Miss Lin. She's your cousin, could you please..."
Before he could finish speaking, Li Xunhuan was already in so much pain that he wanted to run away.
This is a reflection of his inner self; of course he can escape.
Unfortunately, all of this has already bound him in a cocoon.
The densely packed ghostly figures chased after them, each sounding like a ghostly echo reverberating from the bottom of the cliff.
"Xunhuan, I treat you like a brother. Do you want to watch me die?"
"So what if he's Li Xunhuan? He's still an ingrate who killed his savior."
"Women are like clothes, brothers are like limbs. Li Xunhuan betrayed the code of chivalry for a woman. How can he be worthy of the word 'chivalrous'?"
"The young scholar who ranked third in the imperial examination is actually like this; he has utterly disgraced the Emperor's inscription."
"Xunhuan, if you do something to tarnish the Li family's reputation, how will I face our ancestors in the afterlife?"
"Xunhuan, how can you take good care of Shiyin when you're so useless?"
......
Niannian turned around and looked at the desk he was kneeling before; the objects on it were the source of his nightmares.
The memorial tablets of his parents and elder brothers, the couplets of the emperor, the blood-stained silver spear that Long Xiaoyun used to save him, a shattered plum blossom hairpin, and a rusty throwing knife.
She touched each part, thus gaining a complete glimpse into the past half of his life.
Li Xunhuan, who became famous at a young age, lived his entire life under the expectations and scrutiny of everyone.
The heavy burden of family responsibilities, the glory of being a third-place scholar in the imperial examinations, and the reputation of the martial arts world all weighed on his shoulders; he never truly lived as just 'Li Xunhuan'.
This is his dampness, his heaviness, his powerlessness.
The young scholar, Li Shen, could not temper his bones into black iron, but his resilient sword spirit became increasingly brittle in this relentless tempering until it shattered.
He can no longer bear the weight of another person.
Li Xunhuan finally loosened his grip on those tightly locked arms, releasing his lover and his last remaining family member.
Let yourself fall, and let yourself escape.
He just wanted to escape to his carefree youth, hide in his old dreams, and not be found by fate.
When Nian Nian touches upon these past events and empathizes with his emotions, her heart feels almost shattered.
She clutched her heart, panting, and bent over, a relieved smile on her lips as she murmured contentedly, "Indeed, we are the most compatible people in the world."
She was so happy.
Such contrasting people should be together forever.
How can two cowards fall in love?
Through the hazy mist, she watched his figure recede into the distance until he disappeared from sight, and said sweetly, "We can have decades together."
She closed her eyes, and blue light spots, like fireflies, surged into this place. In the blink of an eye, the light and shadow transformed into the mansion of a noble family—the 'Li Garden'.
......
Another verdant summer has arrived, with plum branches and delicate leaves drooping down, creating a serene scene. As the summer breeze brushes past, the unripe plums tremble on the scorching ground.
In the garden path, a soft, slow footstep suddenly rang out, like the gentle caress of willow leaves on a face.
The sound was like the misty rain in a dream, gently falling down, and as soon as you heard it, it moistened your whole heart.
He looked up and gazed at her through the dappled shadows of the trees.
The newcomer wore a flowing, floor-length dress, her hair styled like mist, which made her emerald eyes appear even more gentle and graceful.
She sighed softly at the other end of the path, looking at him helplessly.
With just one glance, Li Xunhuan's eyelashes welled up with tears.
Even though he didn't understand why this sudden surge of emotion and longing had arisen, he inexplicably felt that it was like a tender, lost old dream from the past.
She smiled and said, "Xunhuan, what are you doing hiding in the tree?"
He paused, muttered the words "I don't want to be found" in his mouth, and then swallowed them back down.
He's finished all his homework for the day, and Dad even praised his poem this morning. He went to the martial arts training ground at noon to practice, and his accuracy in throwing knives has improved.
He hasn't been secretly eating candy behind his mother's back lately, so what is he afraid of being found out about?
Before he could even furrow his brow in thought, Madam Li walked up to him and said, "Come down quickly. Didn't I tell you that your little cousin is coming today?"
The word "cousin" seemed to trigger a flood of memories, and Li Xunhuan, in a daze, leaped down.
Madam Li couldn't help but add, "Her parents died early, and she became an orphan at a young age. You must take good care of her in the future. Your parents have arranged a marriage between you and your cousin, which will strengthen family ties. When you grow up, you must cherish and love her even more."
She bent down and gently stroked his cheek. "Do you understand?"
Li Xunhuan nodded subconsciously.
Madam Li smiled, the fine lines at the corners of her eyes slightly furrowing. Suddenly, she turned to the side, reached out towards the artificial hill behind her, and said softly, "Niannian, this is Cousin Xunhuan."
Li Xunhuan hesitated for a moment before turning his head to look at it, meeting a pair of round cat eyes.
Her eyes were like plums, glistening with moisture. She looked no more than seven or eight years old, with a snow-white face that was both delicate and adorable.
He subconsciously thought: Why does it look like a calico cat?
Niannian stared at his youthful face, her eyes crinkling into a sweet smile as she said, "Cousin!"
Her voice was crisp and sweet, which was really endearing.
Li Xunhuan felt a strange unease; those eyes seemed too big, perhaps not.
...But it was clearly the first time he had ever met his cousin.
Seeing that he was keeping his head down and not saying a word, Madam Li hurriedly urged, "Xunhuan, this is Niannian, quickly call her cousin."
Both men looked at him earnestly, but the unease in Li Xunhuan's heart grew stronger and stronger.
He opened his mouth slightly, but no sound came out.
Suddenly, the green plums above his head fell down, one after another, instantly turning his forehead red.
Even though Li Xunhuan had practiced martial arts since childhood, he couldn't help but feel pain; it was as if a bow was tied to the plum.
He soon discovered that the plums not only had bows tied to them, but also eyes. Wherever he went, the plums would fall.
The young boy in white with black hair was forced to run around in the plum grove, making muffled thuds as he was chased along, with more and more plums rolling on the ground.
Niannian couldn't help but chuckle quietly, and even Madam Li covered her mouth and laughed.
I told you not to talk to me.
After playing for a while, Niannian lifted her skirt and ran into the plum grove to rescue him. "Cousin, are you in pain?"
She furrowed her brows slightly, her eyes drooping downwards, and pinched her sleeve to wipe the plum stains from his head.
Those long, upturned cat eyes stared at him without blinking, as if they could speak.
His face had turned red, whether from embarrassment at their first meeting, the soft touch of her green sleeves against his cheeks, or simply from her bright, sparkling eyes.
The crushed green plums scattered on the ground exuded a bittersweet fragrance, which wafted through the nose and then disappeared somewhere else.
After a long pause, he stammered, "Thank you, Cousin Nian Nian."
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