fever
Two small white spots finally appeared on Princess Taiping's gums, which relieved everyone in the entire residence.
But a new challenge followed – the period of milk aversion.
(OS: Good heavens, this is even harder than dealing with the Guanlong Group! At least with the Guanlong Group, we could use interests to divide them, but this little devil is completely impervious to reason!)
As Wu Meiniang watched as Princess Taiping turned her head away once again, refusing her wet nurse, she felt a familiar sense of powerlessness.
This scene, where neither gentle persuasion nor firm communication worked, instantly brought back memories of her past life, when she was repeatedly tormented by her client.
"Never mind," she said, rubbing her temples. "Go and bring over that freshly made goat milk custard from the imperial kitchen to try."
When Li Zhi returned from court, he saw Wu Meiniang facing a bowl of goat milk soup as if it were a formidable enemy.
"What is the Empress doing?"
“Your Majesty,” Wu Meiniang said without looking up, “I am testing Taiping’s receptiveness. You see, she is like the most difficult spy right now, and we are the interrogators trying to extract ‘feeding information’ from her mouth.”
(OS: The difference is that a spy can be tortured, but a biological daughter can only be coaxed.)
Li Zhi was amused by the analogy and leaned closer to look at his daughter.
Little Taiping was wrinkling her nose, showing her disgust at the spoon being offered to her mouth.
"Let me try it." Li Zhi took the bowl, scooped up a spoonful, and exaggeratedly made a delicious gesture. "Taiping, look at your father! Ah—it's so delicious!"
Taiping blinked her big eyes and finally opened her small mouth.
Just as Li Zhi was looking smug, she spat out the milk custard with a "pfft," spraying it precisely onto her father's face.
(OS: Hahaha! Boss, you've finally met your match!)
Wu Zetian suppressed a laugh and quickly handed over a handkerchief.
Li Zhi wiped his face helplessly and sighed, "This is even more difficult than getting Tibet to submit."
"Your Majesty has mentioned Tibet," Wu Meiniang reported, "and I have gained some inspiration from the matter of Taiping's aversion to breastfeeding."
"Oh?" Li Zhi looked at her curiously.
"You see, if Taiping doesn't drink milk, we have to find ways to feed her in different ways. The same principle applies to dealing with Tibet."
Wu Zetian's eyes lit up. "Military deterrence alone is not enough. We need to try different methods. Don't they like our tea? Then let's grade the tea, and give the best quality only to the most obedient tribes."
(OS: This is called targeted advertising and differentiated marketing!)
Li Zhi seemed to be deep in thought: "What the Empress means is..."
“We need to establish a more comprehensive intelligence system,” Wu Zetian said in a low voice. “Just like we need to know what kind of baby food Taiping likes, we need to understand the preferences of the leaders of the various Tibetan tribes and the conflicts between them. Who loves money, who loves fame, which tribe has a grudge against the Zanpu… With this knowledge, how can we not find a way to ‘feed’ them?”
(OS: To put it bluntly, it's just an ancient version of big data analysis!)
Li Zhi clapped his hands and exclaimed, "Excellent! I will immediately order..."
Before he could finish speaking, Taiping suddenly cried out "Ah ah!" and her little hand accurately grabbed the fish bag hanging on Li Zhi's waist—a precious item that the Bohai Kingdom had just presented as tribute, embroidered with exquisite gyrfalcon patterns.
(OS: My little darling has such a sharp eye!)
Wu Zetian had a flash of inspiration: "Your Majesty, you see, even Princess Taiping knows to focus on the key points. Our intelligence work must also focus on the key points, instead of casting a wide net like before. It must be precise and efficient!"
Deeply inspired, Li Zhi immediately summoned the official in charge of intelligence.
Three days later, a brand-new intelligence gathering and assessment system was secretly implemented, with its core idea summarized in eight words: precise targeting and key breakthroughs.
——
[Mini-drama: Childcare Changes in the Tang Dynasty]
1.
Princess Taiping's period of aversion to breastfeeding spurred the creation of the first "supplementary food research and development team" in the Tang Dynasty, with imperial chefs racking their brains to develop new recipes.
It is said that a chef was promoted three ranks because he invented "mutton milk soup".
2.
Wu Zetian referred to the process of giving Princess Taiping the food as "product testing" and required that feedback be recorded each time.
This later became the prototype of the quality control system for goods in the Tang Dynasty.
3.
When Li Zhi was reviewing memorials, he would unconsciously compare the troublesome regional military governors to "Taiping who dislikes milk" and the obedient ministers to "Taiping who loves complementary foods".
One time, he accidentally let something slip, which puzzled Di Renjie for three whole days.
4.
Upon hearing that his sister's "precise capture" had inspired intelligence work, the Second Prince Xian worked through the night to improve his "automatic alarm device," claiming that it could now accurately identify "suspicious individuals."
As a result, the device detected Li Xian, who was secretly eating pastries, on its first test.
5.
The latest buzzword among wealthy women in Chang'an has changed from "Have you bought a rattle drum yet?" to "Is your child refusing milk today?" as if it's not fashionable if a child doesn't refuse milk.
(Who would have thought that the upgrade of the Tang Dynasty's intelligence system would begin with the princess's aversion to breastfeeding?)
——
[Mini-drama: The Princess's Troubles]
By: Li Taiping, the Princess Who Never Gets Enough to Eat, the Strongest in the Family
Today I discovered a new rule for the world!
So that white and fragrant stuff is called "milk," and drinking it will warm your stomach.
But! After drinking it for so many days, this princess is tired of it!
Just like how my mother had seen too many of Old Man Di's memorials (even though he always brought me fun things), she needed something new!
That person called "wet nurse" always tries to make me drink the old stuff. Humph, do you think I, the princess, am so easily fooled?
Watch me unleash my ultimate technique—turn your head! Close your eyes tightly! Puff puff puff!
Sure enough, I, invincible under heaven, successfully kept everyone in the whole house in a flurry of activity.
Even the father, who was called "Your Majesty" and smelled so good, came.
It was so funny how he imitated his mother eating, so I reluctantly took a bite... Ugh! Still not right!
Give him some face and let him spit it out.
Oops, I accidentally vomited on his face.
But he didn't seem angry; he even smiled? Adults are so strange.
My mother is amazing; she seems to understand me!
Something different was brought over. It smelled... well, a bit fishy, but it seemed different too?
This princess has decided to give it a chance to try.
Ah! This taste! It's a bit strange, but this princess approves!
Oh, and that shiny bag with a big bird on Dad's waist is really nice, I grabbed it!
Hehe, it's mine now!
Later, for some reason, my parents looked at the bag and talked for a long time, seemingly very happy.
Do they want to play with my new toy too? No way, I earned this through my own skill!
However, considering they found me new food, I might consider smiling at Old Man Di next time he comes. Just for a moment.
Ah, I'm sleepy. World exploration is on hold. This princess is going to sleep with my new toy (Dad's fish bag) and my old toy (a model canal boat).
Adults are so stupid, I have to teach them how to eat.
Oh well, what can I do? I'm the smartest person in the family.
(Whoosh whoosh whoosh...Zzz)
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