Pregnancy
On the day of Grain Rain, Wu Meiniang was calculating the money saved from the new canal transport policy when she suddenly felt waves of sharp pain in her abdomen.
She drew a long line of ink on the ledger with her pen, took a deep breath, and said, "Your Majesty, your son may be checking the canal transport ledger ahead of schedule."
(Inner monologue: You said there were still two weeks left! This little guy is way too impatient!)
The Chengxiang Hall was instantly thrown into chaos.
Li Zhi threw down his memorial and rushed over. When he picked her up in his arms, he was so clumsy that he almost tripped over the threshold.
"Your Majesty!" Wu Meiniang grabbed his collar in pain, "Put me down... Your hands are shaking like a leaf..."
(Inner monologue: Help! I'm going to be killed by my stupid dad before I'm even born!)
The moment the delivery room door closed, Li Zhi suddenly drew his sword and cleaved a pillar in two: "Issue my decree! No sound is to be heard within fifty zhang of Chengxiang Palace!"
He turned and grabbed the Imperial Physician's collar, "If Consort Wu even frowns, I'll tear down the Imperial Hospital's plaque!"
Upon hearing this, Wu Zetian, inside the room, managed to utter a few words during a break in her labor pains:
(Inner monologue: What's with the show-off now... If you're so capable, come in and take the pain for me!)
Just as the palace maids were carrying hot water in and out, they suddenly heard Consort Xiao's mournful cries from afar: "Your Majesty! I am innocent—" She was stopped by several eunuchs outside the moon gate.
Wang Dequan rushed in to report: "Consort Shu forced her way in, saying... saying that Consort Wu's pregnancy is abnormal and it's divine punishment..."
Li Zhi's eyes suddenly turned bloodshot, but then the curtain of the delivery room was suddenly lifted, revealing Wu Meiniang's sweat-drenched face: "Your Majesty... let her shout..." She gasped in pain, "The louder she shouts... the more guilty she'll appear..."
(Inner monologue: Just what I needed was an opportunity to make an example of someone!)
Before she could finish speaking, the midwife suddenly exclaimed, "The head is visible! Consort Zhao, push quickly!"
At that moment, Consort Xiao broke through the obstruction and rushed to the window, screaming, "A bewitching star has bewitched the emperor! This child must be..."
"Croak—"
A loud baby's cry cut off the curse.
The moment Li Zhi kicked open the delivery room door, Wu Zetian weakly pointed out the window: "Your Majesty...she cursed our child..."
Three days later, Wu Zetian, who was still in labor, leaned against soft pillows as Li Zhi personally interrogated her.
When she heard Consort Xiao admit to burying talismans in the incense burner in Chengxiang Palace and bribing the imperial physician to exaggerate her due date, she coughed lightly.
"Your Majesty," she said, gazing at the sleeping infant in her swaddling clothes, "Consort Shu may be possessed..."
Li Zhi threw the confession into the brazier; its words were icy cold: "The Xiao family plotted to harm the imperial heir; they are hereby deposed and reduced to commoners. Their father and brothers are dismissed from their posts and exiled."
As the fine spring rain tapped against the window, Wu Zetian lowered her head and gently stroked the baby's hair, a smile as sweet as a newly blossoming lotus.
(Inner monologue: All done! I can finally relax and have a peaceful postpartum period... Wait, shouldn't Shangshiju send over some postpartum meals?)
——
“Meiniang, look,” he said, spreading out the silk book with great interest, “I have searched through the Book of Documents and the Book of Poetry and selected these fine characters.”
Wu Zetian leaned closer to take a look and almost burst out laughing. It read:
Chengqian (meaning to inherit the universe)
Deming (meaning virtuous conduct is evident)
Wenhao (meaning literary talent as vast as the heavens)
Jingyao (meaning shining brightly)
(Inner monologue: Did the boss just pile up every good word he could think of?)
“Your Majesty,” she said, suppressing a laugh as she pointed to the first one, “Chengqian is the courtesy name of Crown Prince Li Jiancheng…”
Li Zhi's face stiffened, and he hurriedly crossed it out with a vermilion pen.
"How is Deming?" he asked expectantly.
(Inner monologue: Sounds like a runaway disciple from Deyun Society!)
After rejecting seven or eight names in a row, Li Zhi was somewhat discouraged.
Upon seeing this, Wu Meiniang picked up a brush and wrote two characters in the blank space:
Hong.
“The Book of Documents says: ‘To spread the Five Classics.’ It means to be vast and glorious.” She smiled slightly. “As His Majesty’s eldest son, he should have the magnanimity to embrace the world.”
(Inner monologue: Luckily, I memorized a few poems before I transmigrated!)
Li Zhi excitedly grasped her hand: "Okay!"
That evening, the emperor and empress nestled on the couch, flipping through books, worrying about the child's courtesy name.
Wu Meiniang suddenly had a brilliant idea: "Your Majesty, why don't you first give me a nickname?"
"Small characters?"
"People say that humble names are easier to raise," she said, a sly glint in her eyes. "How about 'Li Nu' (狸奴)? Cats are clever and affectionate..."
Emperor Gaozong was shocked: "My crown prince is named Cat?!"
In the end, they compromised and chose "Aman," which means good fortune and fulfillment. However, Wu Zetian would often touch her belly and call her "Li Nu" in private.
(Inner monologue: Anyway, he can't protest now~)
One day, while Li Zhi was reviewing memorials, he suddenly laughed out loud: "Mei Niang, I've thought of the best courtesy name for you."
He picked up his pen and solemnly wrote on the paper:
Li Hong, courtesy name Dezhang.
“His virtue shines brightly, and his holy teachings are widely propagated.” His gaze was piercing. “Our child will surely usher in a golden age.”
Looking at his earnest expression, Wu Meiniang suddenly felt that these names carried heavy expectations.
(Inner monologue: Well, at least he's better than Li Gou Dan...)
Late at night, she said to little Li Hong, "Li Nu, your father has placed all the hopes of the Tang Dynasty on you..."
The baby in her womb suddenly kicked, as if in response.
———
Wu Meiniang leaned against the soft nest made of twelve layers of brocade quilts, frowning as she stared at the postpartum meal presented by the Imperial Kitchen.
The food consisted entirely of plain white porridge and light soup, with even salt being a rare sight.
(Inner monologue: Is this feeding a new mother or feeding rabbits?)
When Li Zhi returned from court, he saw her holding a bowl of milky white fish soup.
"Why aren't you eating?" He naturally took the jade spoon to feed her.
Wu Zetian sighed softly, "Your Majesty, your son says he wants to eat roasted mutton..."
"Nonsense!" Li Zhi said sternly, "The imperial physician said to eat light meals."
(Inner monologue: It's over, even mother and son working together can't defeat the Imperial Physician!)
Just then, Wang Dequan peeked out from outside the hall, holding a memorial to the emperor.
Wu Meiniang's eyes lit up: "Your Majesty, is this an urgent report from the Hebei canal transport department? I'll listen as you read it."
Li Zhi glared at her: "What are you reading about memorials during your postpartum period!"
"Then you can read it to the prince," she said matter-of-factly, shoving the swaddled baby into the swaddling clothes. "Consider it early education."
(Inner monologue: We need to start training the 'King of Curry' from the postpartum period!)
Then a bizarre scene unfolded: the emperor, holding a newborn child, reviewed memorials, explaining each one he approved: "Hong'er, look, the waterline of these grain transport ships needs to be changed..." "Hmm, Su Dingfang's request for battle should be approved..."
One day, the Vice Minister of the Chancellery came to report on a matter and saw Wu Zetian leaning against a screen, softly reminding him: "Your Majesty, the seed money for the military farms in Longyou should come from the salt tax..."
The minister was shocked: "Your Majesty, this..."
"Please forgive me, my dear minister." Li Zhi, without changing his expression, lifted the swaddling clothes. "The Crown Prince says he wishes to attend to state affairs."
(Inner monologue: Good grief, my son's become a shield!)
On the day of the full moon banquet, Wu Zetian specially chose a rouge-red robe with gold phoenix trim.
When Li Zhi appointed Li Hong as crown prince in front of all the officials, she held the child and steadily accepted the golden book.
In the stillness of the night, Wu Meiniang gently poked her son's cheek: "My little darling, I've worked overtime enough for my next life."
(Inner monologue: But... it feels pretty good to be holding a baby while reviewing official documents?)
Outside the window, pomegranate blossoms are in full bloom, reflecting the newly written memorial on the desk.
Wu Zetian picked up her vermilion brush and drew an imperial edict on the last document, the brush tip rising like the corner of her lips.
[Mini Theater]
Several years later, five-year-old Li Hong clung to his mother's sleeve and asked sweetly, "Why does Mother always call me 'Li Nu'?"
Wu Zetian calmly turned a page of the memorial: "Because when you were little, you were always like a kitten, snuggling into people's arms after drinking your milk."
His Highness the Crown Prince suffered a social death on the spot and didn't dare to meow in front of his mother for three months.
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