Having successfully fooled three of the most core and trusted ministers and formed a "temporary cabinet," Xiao Che and Lin Wanwan's "skipping work" plan can be said to be 90% successful.
Wei Wu, the stand-in "fake emperor," has been able to keep a straight face and say "hmm" for half an hour without giving himself away, thanks to Lin Wanwan's accelerated training.
The government was handled by a "temporary cabinet" composed of three senior officials, ensuring stability.
For safety, the Commander-in-Chief of the Imperial Guards has raised the defense level of the capital to the highest level, ensuring that they can slip out unnoticed.
Everything is ready, the east wind...
No, it's not the East Wind.
The last, most troublesome, most clingy, and most impossible-to-reason-communicate-with "variable" standing in their way of "skipping work" is His Highness the Crown Prince, "Tuanzi".
Prince Tuanzi is no longer the little baby who just lay in his crib whimpering. He is now a year and a half old, the age when he walks most steadily, his curiosity is at its peak, and his destructive power is also at its most astonishing.
Thanks to his father the Emperor's boundless pampering and the Empress's helplessness, Prince Tuanzi has risen to become the undisputed "little tyrant" of the palace. From pulling out the Grand Tutor's beard (and the Grand Tutor doesn't dare to get angry), to stealing freshly baked pastries from the head chef of the Imperial Kitchen (and the head chef has to smile and say it's a blessing that His Highness likes them), there is almost nowhere in the Forbidden City he can't go, and no one he dares not provoke.
The most notable characteristic of this little tyrant is that he is clingy.
He was especially attached to his emperor father and empress.
During the day, whenever Xiao Che wasn't dealing with state affairs, he would cling to Xiao Che's lap like a little ornament, wanting to be hugged and lifted high. At night, he would monopolize Lin Wanwan's embrace, only able to fall asleep peacefully while listening to his mother's stories.
Getting rid of such a clingy little brat to carry out a "secret operation" lasting several months is no less difficult than getting his father, Xiao Che, to do embroidery.
The atmosphere inside Kunning Palace was somewhat somber.
Xiao Che and Lin Wanwan sat on the couch, while on the carpet in front of them, Prince Tuanzi was playing happily with a Luban lock.
The couple exchanged a glance and decided to adopt a conciliatory approach of "reasoning with each other."
Xiao Che cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound gentle and loving: "Tuanzi, come to your father."
Upon hearing the call, Tuanzi immediately dropped the Luban lock and, with her short legs, "tap tap tap" rushed into Xiao Che's arms.
"Father..." he called out in a childish voice, his words still somewhat unclear, so cute it melted everyone's heart.
Holding his soft, cuddly son, Xiao Che felt a surge of reluctance welling up inside him. After a long pause, he finally managed to say, "Tuanzi, your father and mother... are going on a long trip, and we may not be able to stay with you for quite some time."
He tried to persuade his son to understand and accept this fact in a gentle and persuasive way.
However, he greatly underestimated the comprehension and emotional intelligence of a one-and-a-half-year-old.
The little dumpling's face, which had been beaming with a sweet smile, froze instantly upon hearing the keywords "going on a long trip" and "not being able to be with you."
His big, dark eyes blinked blankly for a moment, as if trying to process the meaning of the sentence. A few seconds later, his little mouth involuntarily turned downwards.
The next second.
"Wow--!"
A deafening wail instantly resounded throughout the entire Kunning Palace.
The sound of crying was so heartbreaking that it brought tears to the eyes of anyone who heard it.
"Daddy's bad! Mommy's bad!" Tuanzi clung tightly to Xiao Che's leg, sobbing uncontrollably, her small body trembling violently with grief. "Bad Daddy! Bad Mommy!"
As he cried, he used his limited vocabulary to express his core demand:
"Take Tuanzi with you...take Tuanzi with you!"
His heart-wrenching cry shattered Xiao Che's hard-won resolve to "sacrifice himself for his country."
Looking at his son in his arms, crying with snot and tears streaming down his face, his heart felt as if it had been gripped tightly by an invisible hand, aching terribly.
Lin Wanwan saw that above Xiao Che's head, a huge, crystal-clear heart shattered in two with a "crack," and fragments kept falling down, accompanied by two large characters—【Heartbroken.gif】.
His Majesty the Emperor was immediately thrown into disarray.
He scooped his son up in his arms, patting his back and coaxing him, his voice full of compromise and heartache: "Don't cry, don't cry, Father won't leave, Father won't go anywhere... Or... Wanwan, shall we take him with us?"
He looked at Lin Wanwan with an almost pleading gaze.
"No way!" Lin Wanwan vetoed it without even thinking.
She felt sorry for her son, but reason told her that this was absolutely unacceptable.
"Your Majesty, please wake up!" She stepped forward, looking at the father and son who were now "united against a common enemy," and said helplessly, "We're going on an incognito visit! We're going to investigate the 'remnants of the previous dynasty,' not on a picnic! How can we move around with a baby in our arms? Do you really expect the enemy to automatically lay down their weapons when they see His Highness the Crown Prince?"
Xiao Che was speechless when asked the question.
He understood the reasoning, but looking at his son in his arms, sobbing and constantly whispering accusations that "Daddy is bad," he just couldn't bring himself to be cruel.
For the next hour, a tug-of-war that could be described as "inhuman" unfolded throughout the Kunning Palace.
The couple tried everything they could.
"Good boy, how about your father buys you the biggest and sweetest candied hawthorn in the whole capital?" Xiao Che tried to tempt you with delicious food.
"Wow—! I don't want candied hawthorns! I want Daddy!"
"Then...then I'll buy you a real pony? So you can ride it every day?" Lin Wanwan also joined the "bribery" effort.
"Wow—! I don't want the pony! I want Mommy!"
I promised to buy him toys, new clothes, and a hundred stories when I got back...
However, the unyielding Princess Tuanzi shattered all their attempts with her increasingly loud wails.
He cried his heart out until his voice was hoarse, but he still clung to Xiao Che's neck, refusing to let go, as if afraid that if he let go, his parents would fly away.
Seeing their son's red and swollen eyes and hoarse voice, Xiao Che and Lin Wanwan felt extremely distressed.
This scene is truly agonizing.
In the end, it was Xiao Che, the emperor who was decisive on the battlefield and had absolute authority in the court, who was the first to be defeated.
He held his son, looking at Lin Wanwan with a face full of guilt and reluctance: "Wanwan, how about... we let it go this time? We can wait until Tuanzi is a little older..."
"No!" Lin Wanwan interrupted him again decisively.
She knew that if she softened her heart this time, her "skipping work" plan would be indefinitely postponed.
She took a deep breath, her eyes hardening with determination. She knew that at this moment, someone had to be the "bad guy."
“Your Majesty,” she looked at Xiao Che, her tone leaving no room for doubt, “issue an edict to summon Grand Tutor Wang to the palace immediately.”
Grand Tutor Wang was a member of the "provisional cabinet" and one of the few who knew the truth. Most importantly, he was Tuanzi's teacher. Although Tuanzi often made him furious, the two had a very good relationship.
Half an hour later, when the panting Grand Tutor Wang arrived at Kunning Palace, this was the scene he saw:
His Majesty the Emperor held the Crown Prince, who was crying so hard he was almost breathless, his face filled with despair. The Empress stood to the side, her expression cold and her eyes resolute.
"This old minister..."
"Grand Tutor, no need for formalities!" Lin Wanwan spoke directly. She walked up to Xiao Che, looked at her son who was still clinging tightly to his father's neck, gritted her teeth, and reached out to pry the little boy's hands off Xiao Che's neck, one by one.
"Waaah—! Mommy's mean! No! No Mommy!" Tuanzi cried even harder, struggling desperately with her little hands and feet.
Seeing this scene, Xiao Che closed his eyes in heartache, unable to bear watching any longer.
Finally, Lin Wan-wan hardened her heart, forcefully "snatched" her son from her husband's arms, and then, without the slightest hesitation, shoved the little boy, who was crying so loudly, into the arms of the already dumbfounded Wang Taifu!
"Grand Tutor!" Lin Wanwan's voice trembled slightly, "Your Highness, I entrust this to you!"
"Ah? Oh... Oh! Yes! Your Majesty, don't worry!" Grand Tutor Wang hurriedly hugged the struggling little darling in his arms, not knowing what to do for a moment.
Xiao Che opened his eyes abruptly the moment his son left his arms. He looked at his son, who was being forcibly handed over to the Grand Tutor, stretching out his little hand and crying out "Daddy." His handsome face was filled with the heartbreak and reluctance of a father.
Lin Wanwan saw that above his head, there was a cartoon version of himself, with his back to a crying baby, silently shedding tears, with a line of large characters next to him—【朕是狠心的爹.jpg】.
"Walk!"
Without further hesitation, Lin Wanwan grabbed Xiao Che's hand, who was still heartbroken, and pulled him away without looking back, rushing out of the hall.
Behind them came Tuanzi's cries that seemed to pierce the sky, and Wang Taifu's frantic attempts to soothe her.
The two hurried along, almost fleeing in panic, as if a raging flood or ferocious beast was chasing them.
They ran so far that they could no longer hear their son's cries that they stopped, leaning against the palace wall, panting heavily.
The night breeze was cool, and it helped calm their hearts, which were tormented by guilt and reluctance.
Xiao Che leaned against the wall, his face still showing signs of heartache. Lin Wanwan's eyes were also a little red.
Getting rid of this "clingy little devil" was a hundred times more difficult than they had imagined.
But they succeeded in the end.
From then on, the sea was wide enough for fish to leap, and the sky high enough for birds to fly.
The Emperor and Empress's "skipping work" trip can finally officially begin!
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