"The Empress's affairs are my most important national matters! You dare say they are trivial?!"
Xiao Che's thunderous roar, like a thunderclap from a clear sky, resounded in the deathly silent Golden Palace.
The young censor, oblivious to his own mortality, was so terrified by the overwhelming imperial might that his face turned ashen. His legs gave way, and he collapsed to his knees with a thud, trembling like a leaf, unable to utter a single word of pleading for mercy.
The entire court was so terrified that they fell silent, each keeping their heads down, afraid that the raging fire that could burn everything would burn them.
They finally remembered that the monarch before them, who seemed to have "lost his mind" because of family matters, was still, in his heart, the same iron-blooded emperor who had the final say and was decisive in killing!
The entire hall was enveloped in an extreme, absurd, and oppressive atmosphere.
The topic was clearly so trivial, yet the emperor's attitude was a hundred times more serious than discussing whether to launch a war to destroy the country!
Xiao Che's gaze, like an ice blade, slowly swept over the silent officials below the steps.
He knew he had lost his composure.
But he didn't care.
In his heart, nothing was more important than the safety of Lin Wanwan and the child in her womb. So-called matters of state and imperial majesty could all be cast aside in the face of them.
He took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing the violence in his heart, and sat back on the dragon throne, his voice still as cold as ice.
"I will say it one last time."
"From this moment forward, the matter of 'reducing the Empress's swelling' shall be the top priority of the court! I demand that you provide me with a foolproof plan by today! Otherwise..."
He didn't finish his sentence, but the undisguised murderous intent in his eyes said it all.
Thus, the most peculiar and absurd scene in the history of the Great Liang Dynasty was born.
The entire court, which should have been discussing border defense and canal reforms, and the empire's elite central leadership, was instead forcibly gathered in the Golden Palace for a grand academic seminar—a brainstorming session on the glorious and important topic of "how to eliminate leg swelling during the Empress's pregnancy"—a seminar that concerned everyone's minds.
The Minister of War, drawing on his wife's "practical experience" of having given birth to eight children, suggested applying hot towels to the feet to promote blood circulation.
The Minister of Revenue, from an "economic" perspective, suggested reducing the Empress's salt intake in order to achieve the purpose of promoting diuresis and reducing swelling.
The Minister of Rites went so far as to cite classical texts, mentioning a recipe for a medicinal soup called "Red Bean and Carp Soup" that a concubine from a previous dynasty had consumed during her pregnancy, which was said to have remarkable effects.
The entire Golden Palace was instantly transformed from a solemn and dignified political center into a large-scale, top-level "pregnancy health lecture" venue.
This absurd farce lasted for a full two hours.
In the end, it was Zhang Zhongmin, the head of the Imperial Medical Academy, who could no longer stand by and watch. He knew that if these laymen continued to make a mess of things, it might really cause some trouble.
He stepped forward again, trembling but steeling himself.
"Your Majesty!" He kowtowed to the ground, making a solemn pledge in an almost tragic tone, "Your humble servant... Your humble servant is willing to guarantee with the lives of everyone in the Imperial Medical Academy, and even my entire family! Her Majesty the Empress's edema is indeed a common condition during pregnancy, and is by no means an illness! Nor is it a sequela of the previous 'indigestion'!"
Seeing Xiao Che's unfriendly expression, he quickly continued, "Your Majesty, I have prepared a series of the gentlest and safest dietary therapy prescriptions! Using red beans, winter melon, poria, and other ingredients, supplemented with mild medicinal cuisine, daily conditioning will surely show results in less than ten days! If there is any mishap, Your Majesty... may have me and the entire Imperial Medical Academy executed!"
This pledge, which risked everything, finally eased Xiao Che's obsessive anxiety.
He stared intently at Zhang Zhongmin for a long time, until the old court official was drenched in cold sweat, before finally squeezing out two words through gritted teeth.
"Approved."
The dramatic "edema assembly" has now come to a safe and peaceful end.
...
After the court session, Xiao Che returned to Kunning Palace without saying a word, carrying a heavy atmosphere.
Lin Wanwan had already heard about the "grand occasion" of today's morning court from Ruolan. At this moment, she was sitting on the soft couch, looking at Xiao Che who had returned, her face full of amusement and exasperation.
"Did Your Majesty once again lose your temper in court today because of me?" she teased.
Upon hearing this, Xiao Che showed no sign of pride, but rather a hint of exhaustion and lingering fear.
He didn't say anything, but silently walked up to her, squatted down, and gently lifted her slightly swollen calves, placing them on his knees.
"You..." Lin Wanwan was startled and subconsciously tried to pull her foot back.
"Don't move." Xiao Che's voice was hoarse, brooking no refusal.
His large hands, which had once held the imperial seal and reviewed memorials from all over the country, were now clumsily yet earnestly massaging her swollen ankles and calves, following the method taught by the imperial physician.
His touch was light and his movements were haphazard; it was more like a caress than a massage. But the warmth from his fingertips and the focused, serene expression on his face instantly melted Lin Wanwan's heart.
Looking at the man kneeling at her feet, who had abandoned all imperial dignity and was wholeheartedly trying to relieve her discomfort, all the helplessness and amusement in her heart turned into the deepest warmth.
She knew that he wasn't unreasonable, nor was he truly stubborn.
He just... cared too much.
Because you care too much, you become paranoid; because you love too deeply, you lose your composure.
She quietly raised her head and looked at the emoji area above his head.
There, a chibi-style little emperor was rubbing the legs of his little empress lying on the bed with a pained expression, his face filled with self-reproach and guilt.
[My wife has worked so hard; it's all my fault for being useless.gif]
Upon seeing this meme, Lin Wanwan's eyes welled up slightly.
She knew that His Majesty the Emperor's "pregnancy anxiety" was probably incurable.
And she was willing to be so "hopelessly" spoiled by him for the rest of her life.
In this warm and tranquil moment, Xiao Che suddenly raised his head and said to Lin Wanwan in an extremely serious tone:
"Wanwan, I've thought about it."
"Um?"
“Such ‘trivial matters’ must not be allowed to happen again,” he said in a deep voice.
Lin Wanwan's heart skipped a beat, thinking that he had finally come to his senses and was ready to stop making a fuss over nothing.
However, Xiao Che's next words made her completely abandon this naive idea.
He continued in an authoritative tone, as if announcing a major national policy:
"I cannot wait until something happens before scrambling to deal with it. I must prevent such 'minor' incidents from happening again at the root!"
As he spoke, he stood up and strode to the desk, where he actually unfurled a bright yellow imperial edict!
He picked up the vermilion brush, dipped it in ink, and wrote the poem in one go with vigorous strokes!
After finishing writing, he picked up the imperial edict, blew on the ink, and then, in a solemn tone as if announcing to the world, solemnly declared to Lin Wanwan, and also to himself:
"Issue my decree, proclaiming it to the world—"
"Empress Lin, carrying the imperial heir, is a national treasure. Her body is delicate and her body is noble; she is the most 'delicate' person in the world!"
"From this day forward, anyone who causes him worry, physical ailment, loss of appetite, or sleeplessness, regardless of person, matter, or thing, shall be punished for 'plotting against the foundation of the state'!"
So be it!
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