As it turns out, the fetus's "protest" is real and effective.
The next day, when Xiao Che was excitedly preparing for another "battle song" concert and playing "Ambush from Ten Sides" for his child, the little ones in Lin Wanwan's belly, contrary to their usual behavior, completely "went on strike".
No matter how passionate and menacing Xiao Che's zither music was, the baby in her belly remained completely still, as if they had all fallen into a deep sleep, expressing their strongest resistance through silence.
This happened for two days in a row.
Now, even Xiao Che himself had to admit that his "forceful prenatal education" plan seemed to have failed.
This emperor, whose word was law in the court, experienced a profound sense of frustration for the first time in the path of raising his child. Literary cultivation failed; musical education failed. Was his child truly so "unruly" and unambitious?
Just as Xiao Che was falling into deep self-doubt, he inadvertently saw the nursery being set up.
The nursery was located in a side hall of Kunning Palace, and it had already been prepared. The cradle, crib, and toys inside were all made by the most outstanding craftsmen according to Xiao Che's "best in the world" standards.
At this moment, several of the court's most outstanding painters stood respectfully by the wall, awaiting the imperial decree from the emperor and empress, preparing to paint the most exquisite and auspicious murals for this future prince/princess's sleeping quarters.
As Xiao Che looked at the pristine white wall, a sudden inspiration struck him!
His "heart for prenatal education," which had repeatedly failed but never given up, was once again burning brightly!
He clapped his hands suddenly, his face showing an expression that said, "I've got it again."
“I understand!” he said to Lin Wanwan, who was standing beside him. “Words are too dry, and music is too noisy. My child must want to perceive the world in a more direct and aesthetically pleasing way!”
A strong sense of foreboding welled up in Lin Wanwan's heart: "Your Majesty... what do you mean?"
"I have decided!" Xiao Che pointed to the huge wall, his eyes filled with unprecedented artistic enthusiasm and creative passion, "to conduct 'artistic edification'! I will personally paint a mural for him/her! So that when he/she opens his/her eyes, the first world he/she sees will be the magnificent empire that his/her father has personally depicted for him/her!"
Personally...drawn?
Looking at Xiao Che's confident demeanor, as if he were a master painter, Lin Wanwan tried hard to recall any memories of his painting skills.
The conclusion is: a blank page.
She only knew that he was a master calligrapher and a skilled chess player, but she had never heard that this emperor could also paint.
However, Xiao Che clearly did not give her any chance to question.
He immediately waved his hand at the court painters who were ready to show off their skills: "All of you, step back. This mural is none of your business; I will paint it myself!"
The painters looked at each other, puzzled but not daring to disobey the imperial decree, and could only bow and retreat.
"Your Majesty, isn't this matter... a bit too much trouble?" Lin Wanwan tried one last time. "Perhaps we should let the painters do it?"
"No!" Xiao Che refused resolutely, giving a high-sounding reason: "This is Father Emperor's first act of kindness towards his child, how can it be entrusted to someone else?"
As he spoke, he began to conceive ideas with great enthusiasm.
“Ordinary flowers, birds, fish, and insects are too petty and unworthy of my child.” He paced back and forth in front of the huge wall, his eyes gleaming with grand vision. “If I’m going to paint, I’ll paint the vast landscape of the Great Liang! From the East Sea to the Kunlun Mountains in the west, from the Gobi Desert in the north to the miasma in the south! Let my child know from a young age how vast his future territory will be!”
He became more and more excited as he spoke, as if a magnificent and incomparably grand epic scroll had already appeared in his mind.
Lin Wanwan watched as he became completely absorbed in his grand vision and silently shut her mouth.
Never mind, let him be.
Painting is nothing; it can't possibly be more "refreshing" than playing "Guangling San," can it?
...
As it turns out, Lin Wanwan was too naive.
Xiao Che's "artistic creation" soon unfolded on an unprecedented scale and in a grand manner.
He refused all help, leaving only a few of the most outstanding court painters to "attend to his brush and ink." He called it "observation and learning," but in reality, he wanted to find a few professional spectators to appreciate his "talent."
He even changed out of his dragon robe and put on a loose, old robe stained with various colors of ink, which he had found from who-knows-where. He also casually tied his hair up with a jade hairpin, giving him a somewhat unrestrained artist's style.
Then, the emperor, holding a wolf-hair brush ten times thicker than the vermilion brush he used to review memorials, dipped it in thick ink and, full of vigor, made the first stroke of his "artistic career" on that white wall!
At that moment, the court painters standing behind him held their breath, their eyes filled with anticipation.
They wanted to see just how amazing his skills were in painting, given that this emperor was a master of both civil and military affairs.
However, when Xiao Che's first stroke outlined the coastline of the "Eastern Sea" in his mind, an old painter's eye twitched uncontrollably.
Those lines... trembled... somewhat like a candle flickering in the wind.
Immediately afterwards, Xiao Che took a big stroke of his pen and began to depict the "majestic Kunlun Mountains" in his heart.
With a few strokes, a... uh... a... crooked and twisted "mountain range" that looked like it could collapse at any moment appeared on the wall.
Another artist couldn't help but nudge his colleague with his elbow and mouth the question silently: "Is this... a honeycomb briquette?"
His colleague immediately gave him a look, signaling him to "shut up".
Xiao Che, however, was completely oblivious to this, having become utterly immersed in the passion of creation. At times, he would wield his brush with bold strokes, ink splashing everywhere; at other times, he would furrow his brow, meticulously outlining each stroke.
Thus, a stunning "Landscape of the Great Liang Dynasty" gradually took shape under the brush of this "soulful painter".
His painting of the surging Yangtze River looks more like a wriggling earthworm, struggling to move along the wall.
His painting of the Great Wall resembles a row of drunken soldiers, arms around each other, leaning precariously.
As for the cities and villages scattered among them, they look more like a bunch of ink dots of varying sizes, haphazardly splashed.
The entire scene is utterly devoid of composition, artistic skill, and aesthetic appeal. If one had to find a word to describe it, it would be—utterly horrific.
The court painters standing to the side went from initial shock to bewilderment, and finally... wanted to laugh but dared not.
Their faces were flushed, their lips were tightly pressed together, and their shoulders were shaking violently. They felt that if they looked any longer, they would be dragged out for "deceiving the emperor."
This isn't a landscape painting at all! It's clearly... scribbles!
However, the instigator of this torture, Emperor Xiao Che, was extremely satisfied with his "masterpiece".
Looking at the "magnificent landscape" he had personally depicted, his eyes were filled with pride and self-satisfaction. He felt that his painting, brimming with an unrestrained and magnificent spirit, perfectly showcased his ambition and grandeur as an emperor!
As he drew, he also explained to the "audience" behind him.
"See that?" he pointed to the "earthworm." "This is the Yangtze River! My stroke contains the power of its winding course, fully displaying its ceaseless surging spirit!"
“And this Great Wall!” He pointed to the row of “drunkards” and said, “My brushstrokes may seem casual, but they actually subtly capture the undulating contours of the mountains, depicting the shape of the ‘dragon’ to the fullest extent!”
The painters, heads bowed, were practically bursting with suppressed rage, only managing mumbled responses: "Your Majesty... Your Majesty is wise... The painting... is... extremely well done..."
The area on Xiao Che's head that resembles his own emoji further showcases his confidence.
A chibi-style little emperor wearing a painter's beret and holding a palette is proudly giving a big thumbs up to a painting in front of him that is also a "scribbled mess".
My son will surely be impressed by his father's talent! .gif
In this awkward and strange atmosphere, Xiao Che was finally about to add the final touch to his masterpiece—the finishing touch: the location of the capital city.
He dipped his brush in cinnabar, held his breath, and solemnly placed a large, red dot in the center of the scroll.
"Mission accomplished!" He threw down his paintbrush, let out a long sigh of satisfaction, and prepared to receive the worship of the crowd behind him.
However, just then, a voice carrying a hint of drowsiness came from the doorway.
"Your Majesty, is the painting... finished?"
Lin Wanwan, waking from her afternoon nap, walked in slowly, supporting her back. She wanted to see what kind of earth-shattering masterpiece this Emperor could create.
When Xiao Che turned around and saw that it was her, he immediately flashed a bright smile seeking praise, opened his arms wide like presenting a treasure, and proudly announced: "Wanwan, come and see! This is a map of the empire that I have bestowed upon you and my child!"
Lin Wanwan smiled and walked in.
Then, her gaze fell on the huge wall.
The smile on his face slowly, little by little, froze.
She looked at the crooked lines covering the wall, at the ink marks that seemed to have been scribbled on by a naughty child, at the chaotic and abstract "scribbles" that were completely incomprehensible.
The entire nursery fell into a long, suffocating silence.
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