Ever since the "Imperial Edict Breastfeeding" tragedy ended with the little prince crying three times louder and His Majesty the Emperor's humiliating defeat, Xiao Che has been plunged into a deep self-doubt.
He, the emperor of Daliang, a man who reclaimed his imperial power from a mountain of corpses and a sea of blood and outwitted the cunning regent, has suffered devastating defeats in the past few days in the "three essentials of childcare": holding the baby, changing diapers, and feeding the baby.
These failures dealt a heavy blow to his confidence as an emperor, and indeed as a man.
He began to become somewhat silent, often sitting alone in the imperial study, staring at a blank memorial for half an hour at a time. He no longer volunteered to take on any tasks related to "Tuanzi," and even when passing by the nursery, he would subconsciously quicken his pace, as if the person living there was not his own flesh and blood, but his only nemesis in this life.
He watched as the experienced midwives and palace maids easily coaxed the crying baby into smiling faces, and watched as Lin Wanwan simply hummed a few tunes and made the little one fall asleep peacefully in her arms. An unprecedented sense of frustration overwhelmed him like a tidal wave.
He felt that he might... really not be a good father.
Once this thought arose, it grew wildly like vines, entwining his proud imperial heart.
On this afternoon, the autumn sun shone brightly, casting warm rays through the window lattices onto the carpet in Kunning Palace.
After Lin Wanwan finished dealing with several matters presented by the female officials, she looked up and saw Xiao Che standing not far away, looking at "Tuanzi" who was being held in the arms of the wet nurse, who had just eaten and drunk his fill and was happily blowing bubbles.
He didn't approach to tease her as usual, but stood at a distance, his bright yellow dragon robe seemingly shrouded in a visible desolation and loneliness.
Lin Wanwan's heart stirred; she immediately understood the thoughts of this awkward emperor.
She smiled and waved to the wet nurse, then stepped forward and took the little one from her arms. Once in his mother's arms, the little one stretched contentedly and let out a satisfied sigh.
"Your Majesty," Lin Wanwan said, holding the child, as she walked up to Xiao Che, a hint of amusement in her voice, "Are you making things difficult for yourself again?"
Xiao Che snapped out of his daze, looking at the obedient, angelic son in her arms. Then, recalling how this little guy had been a ruthless devil in his own hands, he moved his lips, but in the end, he only let out a muffled "hmm."
“He’s eaten and drunk his fill now, and his diaper was just changed. He’s in a good mood.” Lin Wanwan seemed oblivious to his disappointment and suggested in a lighthearted tone, “The chrysanthemums in the Imperial Garden are in full bloom. Why doesn’t Your Majesty… take him for a walk alone? Let him get some sunshine; it’s good for the child.”
alone?
Xiao Che's body stiffened instinctively.
Let him take care of this little devil by himself? What if he cries again? He doesn't want to experience that feeling of helplessness and wanting to bring the Minister of War down with him again.
Seemingly sensing his hesitation, Lin Wanwan handed the "tuanzi" in her arms to him and said softly, "Go ahead, he won't cry now. You... you have to learn to be alone with him."
She paused, then added, "He's your son, he can sense it."
These words were like the final key, unlocking the shackles of pride in Xiao Che's heart.
Yes, that's his son, Xiao Che's son! How could he give up just because of a few minor setbacks?
He took a deep breath, and with an almost tragic expression, extended his still somewhat stiff arms. This time, he learned from his mistake, moving extremely slowly and gently, carefully, and finally managed to take "Tuanzi" in a not-so-standard but still relatively safe posture.
The little guy just shifted in his arms, seemingly noticing the change in "support," but because he was full and in a good mood, he didn't protest. He just curiously opened his big, black grape-like eyes and looked at his serious-looking father.
"Go ahead," Lin Wanwan said with a smile, giving him a push.
Holding the soft little thing in his arms, Xiao Che took the most historically significant step in his "new dad" career—his first time alone with his son.
In the Imperial Garden, the autumn air is crisp and clear, and golden chrysanthemums are in full bloom.
However, the beautiful scenery did nothing to alleviate Xiao Che's inner tension.
His steps still carried a stiffness reminiscent of someone inspecting territory, and his arms were taut like iron plates, as if afraid that if he weren't careful, the "alarm" in his arms would go off again.
He held "Tuanzi" in his arms and strolled slowly along the garden path, remaining silent throughout as if he were carrying out some secret mission.
After walking for a while, he felt a little awkward. Lin Wanwan said the child could sense it. Shouldn't he do something to express his fatherly love?
So he stopped in front of a cluster of bright yellow chrysanthemums in full bloom, cleared his throat, and began his first "parent-child teaching" session in an extremely clumsy tone.
“Look,” he said, holding up a finger and pointing at the flower, his voice dry, “that’s… a chrysanthemum. A yellow chrysanthemum.”
The little dumpling in his arms naturally couldn't understand, but it blinked curiously in the direction he was pointing.
I didn't cry!
Xiao Che was overjoyed, as if he had received a great encouragement. He hugged his son and walked to the other side.
"That's an osmanthus tree. The flowers it blooms are called osmanthus, and they smell very sweet."
"Over there, there are maple trees. Their leaves are red."
"Those swimming in the water are koi. You can't eat them."
Holding the little one in his arms, he described the flowers, trees, pavilions, and towers of the Imperial Garden in a flat, almost military-sounding tone. In his heart, however, he was constantly making a humble prayer: "Please don't cry, please don't cry..."
Surprisingly, "Tuanzi" seemed to be in a really good mood today. Perhaps he felt the comfort of the warm autumn sun, or perhaps he was curious about the colorful world around him, because he was unusually quiet the whole time, just staring at his big, clear eyes with curiosity, occasionally waving his chubby little fists.
This unprecedented obedience brought great comfort to Xiao Che's tormented heart.
His tense nerves finally relaxed without him even realizing it. His arms were no longer so stiff, and his steps gradually became more natural.
As he carried "Tuanzi" to a rockery, he saw an unnamed wildflower blooming in a crevice of the rock, swaying in the wind.
As if possessed, he once again stretched out his finger and brought it closer to the flower, his voice softening unconsciously: "Look, this one... is also very pretty."
Just then, something unexpected happened to Xiao Che.
The usually quiet "Tuanzi" seemed to be attracted by the finger that was waving in front of his eyes.
Suddenly, a chubby little hand reached out from the swaddling clothes and grabbed one of his fingers with unexpected force.
Those little hands, warm and soft, carried an undeniable tenacity inherent in life. Five tiny fingers gripped his large hand tightly and firmly, a hand that had once decided life and death and commanded the world.
Xiao Che froze on the spot.
He stood frozen in place, forgetting even to breathe.
He slowly lowered his head and met his son's clear, watery eyes.
The moment their eyes met, the little "tuanzi," who had been expressionless the whole time, suddenly and slowly stretched his lips upwards.
It was a smile that was pure to the extreme, without any teeth.
His pink gums revealed a lovely curve, and his large, clear eyes curved into two adorable little crescents because of this smile.
That smile contained no calculation, no ulterior motive, no impurities, only the purest, heartfelt joy and reliance.
Sunlight filtered through the gaps in the leaves, turning into dappled spots that danced on his curled eyelashes and illuminated his pure and innocent smile.
The whole world seemed to fall silent in that instant.
Xiao Che stared blankly at the smiling face in his arms, listening to his own heart pounding like a drum.
He felt that the cold and hard wall in his heart, built up by countless failures and frustrations, was easily and completely shattered at this moment by that soft and pure smile.
It collapsed with a crash.
All the fatigue, all the setbacks, all the self-doubt vanished in this moment.
An unprecedented, immense, and warm torrent of emotion instantly swept over his entire body, filling his chest. It was an overwhelming sense of satisfaction from being recognized, needed, and relied upon; a primal sense of accomplishment as a father.
He was accepted by his son.
Xiao Che's eyes involuntarily became slightly hot.
He looked at the little thing in his arms, still grinning at him, and at the little hand that was still tightly clenching his fingers. He felt his whole heart melting from this sudden happiness.
He lowered his head and gently, tenderly, placed a trembling kiss on her smooth, full forehead.
Not far away, Lin Wanwan had been quietly following behind. When she saw this scene, a relieved and gentle smile appeared on her face. She habitually looked up, wanting to see what silly things that childish emperor was doing now.
However, this time, what she saw was an unprecedented and dazzling scene.
Above Xiao Che's head, all the awkwardness, frustration, and complaints had vanished. In their place stood a huge, magnificent trophy, radiating brilliant golden light! The top of the trophy even shimmered with diamond-like brilliance.
Beneath the dazzling trophy, a line of text composed of golden flames, brimming with boundless pride and happiness, slowly emerged:
[I am the happiest dad in the world! .gif]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com