abnormal
"You didn't give me a massage last time either." Zhou Ji'an was so annoyed by his inexplicable copying behavior that he blurted out his words without thinking.
Deng Yi, standing behind her, let out a long sigh and pulled her closer to him. His lips began to brush against her ear and neck, and he said with a mixture of satisfaction and relief, "I thought you really didn't remember anything."
Zhou Ji'an turned to face him, and he pulled her into his arms, her whole body nestled against him. The familiar and pleasant scent enveloped her, and with the protection of the dim night, she tried to explore his world. "Have you hit a creative block? Why do you always try to give me an amnesiac persona?"
"Well, in my eyes, you're just someone with amnesia. I married you to conduct an experiment, the purpose of which is to make you remember your past," Deng Yi said, half-jokingly.
Zhou Ji'an hadn't expected him to so openly reveal his true purpose for marrying her. She buried her face in his chest and remained silent for a long time.
She couldn't speak.
After thinking it over carefully, Zhou Ji'an realized that the experiment he described was somewhat different from the one she had written about in her notebook. She wanted to clarify her thoughts and confront him directly, but because his embrace was so comfortable and warm, sleepiness began to overwhelm her consciousness. With her eyes closed, she asked, "What do you plan to do if I never remember anything from before?"
After asking the question, another thought popped into her head: "Are you planning to divorce me?" This question abruptly interrupted her sleep, and she opened her eyes wide, unsure whether she had actually asked the question aloud.
What if his answer is yes? Then is she left with no choice but to accept that outcome?
Zhou Ji'an waited anxiously for Deng Yi's answer, her fingers gripping his pajamas tightly. After a long while, she heard him turn the question back on her, "What do you want me to do?"
“I’m only participating in your experiment passively. I can’t help you make decisions, otherwise it would affect the results.” Zhou Ji’an breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, affirming his flawless answer.
Deng Yi chuckled sullenly, "It seems my experiment hasn't produced any obvious results yet."
Their conversations always seemed to be interspersed with riddles. Zhou Ji'an's patience was wearing thin due to physical exhaustion and the renewed drowsiness. He snuggled closer to Deng Yi and mumbled sleepily, "I'm so tired and sleepy, I don't want to guess your riddles anymore."
She complained as she reached out and hugged Deng Yi's waist, then quickly fell asleep, leaving Deng Yi, whose heart was pounding and who couldn't help but call her name, in the dim night, retrieving the sword that had suddenly emerged from the river of the past.
The next morning, Zhou Ji'an woke up first. The sky outside was foggy, and the sea breeze slowly pushed the moisture onto the buildings by the sea.
She touched the arm that had been her pillow all night, thinking that as long as Deng Yi didn't throw a divorce agreement at her, then everything she had now was real.
Zhou Ji'an quietly rolled over, and for what seemed like the umpteenth time, snuggled into Deng Yi's arms, gently rubbing his forehead against Deng Yi's prickly chin.
His chin twitched, probably because it tickled. Zhou Ji'an, feeling playful, started tickling his waist.
She didn't hear the laughter she expected; instead, her hand was grabbed and led to a warm object. She struggled in vain and said with dissatisfaction, "You're pretending to be asleep."
Deng Yi sat up halfway, flipped her onto his body, pressed her hands and moved them, closed his eyes and prolonged the pleasure, "It's because you never ask me."
Even though it was a one-sided provocation, Zhou Ji'an started to feel uncomfortable, and as he moved, he leaned on his shoulder and groaned softly.
"Jian, tell me what you want." Deng Yi released her, moved his hand to her sensitive spot, and quickly withdrew it when she couldn't help but lean in.
During this time, Zhou Ji'an's appetite had clearly been whetted by the person in front of her. Although it was still difficult for her to say what she was thinking directly, she whispered "you" into his ear because she really wanted it.
Deng Yi patted her twice and corrected her somewhat coldly: "No, be more specific."
Could you be more specific? Zhou Ji'an froze on him, trying several times, but ultimately failed.
She simply couldn't bring herself to say those words.
Anyway, just bear with it and it will pass.
"I'm going to have breakfast," Zhou Ji'an said, looking up.
"Do you also give up halfway through your work like this?" Deng Yi gently pinched her tender flesh in various places, and only felt somewhat satisfied when he heard her intermittent low moans.
Zhou Ji'an hid from him under the blanket, frowned and glared at him, saying, "I've never met a riddle-solving person like you when I was working."
"You came up with the riddle, you set the answer, and you forgot it so easily. Now you can't figure out the riddle or give the answer, and you're blaming me?" Deng Yi carried her off the bed, blanket and all, and put her on a chair. He then opened his suitcase to find her clothes.
His words became increasingly incomprehensible to Zhou Ji'an. When he considerately put socks on her, she couldn't help but kick him. He immediately grabbed her foot, looked up at her with a stern face.
Looking at his expression, she suddenly felt a little scared and quickly withdrew her impolite foot. "I... it's a conditioned reflex..."
Before she could fully express her apology, the person squatting on the ground stood up, still holding her foot in his hand, while her foot was passively stepped into a place that almost made her lose her ability to think.
On the way to the restaurant, Zhou Ji'an was still stiff all over.
She had thought that Deng Yi would be quite open-minded about that kind of thing, after all, he had watched so many movies and read so many books since he was a child, it was hard for him not to be influenced, but she did not expect that his openness would also contain some perversion.
It seems she'll have to be more careful in the future, or she might end up like she did this morning, having her "eyes opened" by what she saw.
"Eat more," Deng Yi said, glancing up at her. "The sun's out. Let's go for a walk after we finish eating."
Zhou Ji'an looked at the plate full of food and muttered, "We can't go swimming in the sea, so what's the point of going?"
"Don't want to go out?" Deng Yi asked casually.
Zhou Ji'an exclaimed in surprise, "Of course not! I want to go out, and even if you don't, I'm going to go out anyway."
Deng Yi smiled and took the egg tart from her plate.
The sun was blazing, the sea breeze was blowing, and it didn't feel particularly cold, but there were far fewer pedestrians on the street than during peak season.
Their last trip to Zhoushan was very short, and they didn't visit many tourist attractions.
Zhou Ji'an then asked, "Your birthday is still a few days away. Do you want to go to some tourist attractions in the next few days?"
Deng Yi rubbed her hand, which was tucked in his coat pocket, and said, "Don't worry about me. I've been to the surrounding attractions several times already. If you want to go sightseeing, I can go with you."
Zhou Ji'an had little interest in tourist attractions, and she wasn't even particularly interested in traveling, because she found that no matter how exciting the journey or how beautiful the attractions were, she couldn't develop any real feelings about them.
Travel time is usually very short. How can a person develop feelings for an unfamiliar place in such a short time?
Others might be able to, but Zhou Ji'an didn't think he could.
“I don’t want to go, and I still have to work.” Zhou Ji’an swung his arm and looked at the murky sea in the distance.
Suddenly she turned her head and asked, "Didn't you say you'd been here before?"
Deng Yi squeezed her hand hard. "Don't you have me in your heart or in your mind?"
Why does he still think that way? Is her love or affection for him something only she can see?
Zhou Ji'an said in confusion, "I forgot."
Deng Yi suddenly accepted her reason and even added, "Well, it's understandable. Last time you came here, you had heatstroke and weren't feeling well."
Zhou Ji'an thought to himself, no wonder she only remembered a general outline of their trip to Zhoushan, or rather, to be precise, she only remembered some fragments that affected her mood.
“I think I’ve almost completely forgotten about my heatstroke.” Zhou Ji’an frowned slightly, trying to recall what they had done last time, but her memory was very hazy. She squeezed Deng Yi’s hand, “If I forget anything important, please remind me. I really can’t remember it on my own.”
They walked towards the sun, and her face, illuminated by the sunlight, appeared even whiter, without a trace of shadow, making her sincerity even more apparent.
It seems she really can't remember anything.
Even if she was not in good spirits at the time, she shouldn't have been completely unable to remember a single word.
Perhaps it's because she didn't take those words seriously, which is why she can't remember anything?
Deng Yi chuckled self-deprecatingly. He was indeed being too poetic, just as she had said about his reasons for breaking up, romanticizing every detail of their past.
"I don't know how you got into a prestigious university with such a bad memory."
Zhou Ji'an took a breath of the cool sea breeze and replied, "I was lucky."
After saying that, she secretly glanced at his profile and continued, "I've always been quite lucky."
Zhou Ji'an did not expect Deng Yi to affirm her good luck; he seemed quite dissatisfied with her forgetting certain things.
This led Zhou Ji'an to constantly scrutinize and ponder Deng Yi over the next few days, and to keep hoping for an event that would restore his memory, such as suddenly hitting his head like in a movie.
Hmm... Zhou Ji'an did hit her head, but because Deng Yi's hand was between the headboard and her head, she couldn't regain her memory.
Moonlight streamed into the room through the gaps in the curtains. Zhou Ji'an wrapped his arms around Deng Yi's shoulders and called his name in his ear, following the rhythm of his movements.
Before she could even say "Happy Birthday," Deng Yi, who was lying on top of her, seemed to lose control and began to move wildly and tirelessly for a long time, until Zhou Ji'an finally fell into a deep sleep.
Zhou Ji'an turned over in a daze, reached out and touched the empty space next to him.
She sat up and saw that the curtains were drawn, and the room was bathed in moonlight.
Meanwhile, Deng Yi was sitting outside, taking pictures of the moon with his camera.
Deng Yi wasn't far from Zhou Ji'an. She lifted a corner of the blanket, preparing to get out of bed, but then thought it would be too much trouble, so she called out, "I'm awake."
She realized her voice was hoarse when she spoke, but she still decided to get out of bed. As she bent down to look for her slippers, a distant voice struck her soul.
That was the sound she made during her last trip to Zhoushan. Although it was also the same three words, "I'm awake," it was filled with endless sorrow.
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