Forget
"Did I gain your sympathy?" Deng Yi helped her sit up.
Zhou Ji'an was caught off guard by his move and fell backward, but fortunately he was immediately pulled back into his arms. "If you need people's sympathy, then what about the rest of us?"
Despite speaking so fluently, Zhou Ji'an's body was actually stiff. He leaned on Deng Yi's left shoulder, waiting for this torturous moment to pass as quickly as possible.
Deng Yi, on the other hand, was clearly more at ease than her. As the initiator of his desires and impulses, his breathing and heartbeat showed no obvious changes.
He was just an ordinary person, yet he disregarded their previous agreement for something like this.
This was the first time Zhou Ji'an felt that Deng Yi was ordinary.
He and the other men she had met were actually no different.
After a long silence, Deng Yi fixed his gaze on the ticking second hand of the clock and said, seemingly casually yet aggrievedly, "How do you know I don't need pity? How much do you really know about me?"
Zhou Ji'an propped herself up slightly to see Deng Yi's expression clearly, while Deng Yi remained calm and composed, letting her observe.
He had no intention of hiding anything from her.
But Zhou Ji'an was afraid. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to accept this marriage based solely on a transaction after she had fully understood Deng Yi.
Zhou Ji'an didn't want marriage at all; she only wanted Deng Yi.
But Deng Yi only wanted the unrestrained marriage she could offer; he didn't want her as a person, let alone her cheap love.
Their emotional relationship was unequal from the very beginning.
On her first day in Jishi, Zhou Ji'an met Deng Yi. That day, he helped her out of her predicament and even treated her to ice cream, which she had never eaten before.
She probably fell in love with Deng Yi on that day, and her inferiority complex also grew wildly like weeds during the rainy season on that day.
Her inferiority complex led her to regard Deng Yi as someone from her dreams from the day she fell in love with him.
When Wei Jinglin, under the pretext of purchasing supplies for the cycling club, half-threatened and half-coaxed Zhou Ji'an into going shopping with him, and they ended up at Deng Yi's studio, when she met Deng Yi, she could hardly distinguish between reality and a dream.
Jishi is so big, how could she dare to hope that they would meet again?
But Deng Yi didn't remember her that day.
Wei Jinglin's mouth kept opening and closing, but Zhou Ji'an didn't hear a word he said. He just stared blankly at Deng Yi, who was printing the job posting, hoping that he would remember her.
Even after Wei Jinglin gently patted her head to remind her it was time to go back to school, Zhou Ji'an was still unable to shake off the sadness of being so easily forgotten by Deng Yi.
Later, amidst the mockery of her two roommates, Zhou Ji'an realized that it was perfectly normal for Deng Yi not to remember her.
Someone like her, when she enters a crowd, is like a drop of rain falling into a river, leaving no lasting impression.
If Wei Jinglin hadn't walked down the street and suddenly said, "Junior Sister Zhou, you were staring at him like that. That's my friend. Don't even think about making a move on him. Besides, he wouldn't even look at you."
Zhou Ji'an's pride was hurt, and he immediately turned his back on Wei Jinglin and parted ways.
She wandered aimlessly through the streets until she reached the ice cream shop where Deng Yi had bought her ice cream. Glancing at the ridiculously expensive price list, she gritted her teeth and bought two ice cream cones. Following her memory, she returned to Deng Yi's studio.
During the sprint, Zhou Ji'an prepared his explanation.
She would say she's there to repay a favor.
Whether he remembers her or not, she will finish saying those words.
Upon arriving at the entrance of Deng Yi's studio, the ice cream scoop on the cone had already melted considerably. Zhou Ji'an felt a sense of fear and, before he could even catch his breath, immediately decided to run away.
Coincidentally, the studio door was open.
Deng Yi came out with glue and a job posting, looking at her with a puzzled expression.
Zhou Ji'an changed his prepared question to: "Can I do this part-time?"
Deng Yi glanced down at the job posting, his confusion deepening. "I'm hiring a photography assistant. Aren't you a computer science major?"
Zhou Ji'an had no idea that Deng Yi was hiring a photography assistant; she hadn't even seen the job posting. She immediately felt guilty and started trembling.
She thought, "Forget it, I won't see him again anyway, I'll just leave."
Zhou Ji'an held up the ice cream cone and silently walked down the stairs.
"The salary might not be high if it's a part-time job, is that acceptable?" Deng Yi's voice echoed in the corridor.
"I accept," Zhou Ji'an said excitedly, turning his head abruptly.
Zhou Ji'an successfully became a part-time worker at Deng Yi's photography studio. During that year or so, Deng Yi never said anything like she looked familiar.
That memory exists vividly only in Zhou Ji'an's mind.
Many times afterward, Zhou Ji'an thought that if it hadn't rained so heavily that day, if Deng Yi hadn't taken her in, if the rain hadn't stopped at nine o'clock in the evening, if Deng Yi hadn't turned on that movie with intimate scenes, if she hadn't kissed Deng Yi's lips like a madwoman, she and Deng Yi might have remained in a boss-employee relationship until Deng Yi entered the entertainment industry, their gap widened further, and she and he became strangers again.
If that's the case, Deng Yi might still not delete her WeChat and send her a message at the same time, asking her to have a fake marriage with him.
Because she was an ordinary person with little memorable features, her ordinariness became his halo, adding charm to his already extraordinary nature and making his directing career even smoother.
He may have only thought about the benefits of a sham marriage for him, while ignoring the potential downsides. Now that he has realized it, he has started to seek out the "material" that is readily available.
He probably thought she wouldn't refuse.
Zhou Ji'an wanted to say that they didn't know each other at all, and doing such a thing would be too awkward.
But she's not eighteen anymore, and she can't say such things anymore, especially after watching so many romantic movies where the male and female leads suddenly start sleeping together. She simply can't bring herself to use that reason to reject him.
“I need to think about it,” Zhou Ji’an could only reply. “You didn’t say in the first place that this was necessary.”
As she spoke, she struggled to get off him and sat about an arm's length away from him.
As the weight and heat disappeared, Deng Yi pulled his coat tighter and said with a smile, "Okay, I'll take you home after we finish eating."
Judging from what he said, he probably intends to stay here.
Zhou Ji'an shook his head and said, "No need, I can go back by myself."
The smile on Deng Yi's lips faded slightly, and he called her name in a low voice, "Ji'an".
When others called Zhou Ji'an by her name, they would always put the two characters "Ji" and "An" together. Deng Yi never did that. He always called her Ji'an clearly, word by word, making her think that she was different from him.
Zhou Ji'an turned his upper body and looked at him, saying, "I just didn't want to trouble you to make the trip."
Deng Yi's smile returned. He leaned over, gently kissed her lips, and said, "Let's cook first."
After he finished kissing her, he stood up and walked towards the kitchen. His coat stirred up a gust of wind, and Zhou Ji'an gasped.
After Deng Yi left, Zhou Ji'an sat alone in the living room. The cool air she had just inhaled slowly flowed down her back. She quickly got up and followed him to the kitchen.
"It's just the two of us, we can just cook something simple." Zhou Ji'an wasn't quite used to Deng Yi wearing an apron, and touched and rubbed his hands on the groceries he brought out. "How about I cook?"
“No need. If you’re scared, just stay close to me.” Deng Yi opened a bag of snow peas and poured them into the vegetable basket. He noticed that the person who had been a certain distance away from him just moments before was now almost touching him. “My grandparents only stay here occasionally.”
Deng Yi immediately realized there was something wrong with what he said, and turned to look at the person who was pinching the strings of the snow peas. Sure enough, the person looked terrified.
“I mean they occasionally lived here before they died.” Deng Yi chuckled, then, fearing she might be really frightened, added, “They died in Yunnan, and their ashes were scattered in the deep mountains and forests.”
Zhou Ji'an's fear did not diminish. To her, the bigger the house, the more dangerous it was. Even if the house was clean and tidy, there was still a possibility that a bad person was lurking in one of the rooms.
Unlike small houses, where every corner can be seen clearly, giving a sense of security.
"Aren't you scared when you live alone?" Zhou Ji'an asked, then regretted it.
What if he doesn't live alone?
Deng Yi paused, the knife in his hand that was cutting carrots fluttering, and fell silent.
Zhou Ji'an's heart pounded in his chest as he washed the vegetables with boiling water.
When she returned to Deng Yi's side with the washed vegetables, Deng Yi had already cut a plate of diamond-shaped carrot slices.
This is the second cooking skill that Zhou Ji'an taught Deng Yi.
If Deng Yi learned to cook in order to experience and immerse himself in life, then Zhou Ji'an cooked simply to survive.
They are even significantly different in this respect.
Zhou Ji'an started cooking noodles for herself when she was about ten years old. Her mother ran a fruit stall and often didn't have enough to eat. Her father knew that there would be no ready-made meals when he got home, and that she had to eat at school no matter how bad the food in the school cafeteria was. So she had to rely on herself and eventually developed pretty good cooking skills.
"If I'm scared, will you stay with me tonight?" Deng Yi started cutting tofu again.
He still hadn't given up.
While Zhou Ji'an was struggling with his decision, Deng Yi said, "I promise I won't do anything. In addition, I can grant you one condition. If you haven't thought it through now, you can bring it up later."
Another deal.
"I've made up my mind," Zhou Ji'an said calmly, picking up a thin, curved bean curd stick and staring at it. "After today, I will never come to your house again."
You get used to trading after doing it a few times, and your expectations of the other party decrease as the number of transactions increases.
Deng Yi didn't seem to care much and remained calm. "Then can I go back to your house?"
Zhou Ji'an went over his words again, but didn't quite understand what he meant.
Taken literally, he meant that the river-view apartment belonged to her, which meant he absolutely had to do it tonight.
Zhou Ji'an was a little angry.
When people are angry, they tend to say whatever comes to mind without thinking, let alone reflecting deeply.
With the bean curd sticks in his hands almost crushed into crumbs, Zhou Ji'an childishly flicked them back onto the counter. "I know you have plenty of condoms here, but didn't you say you needed a physical exam first? And that you could get a tubal ligation? Can you finish all that in the rest of the day?"
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