gap
After receiving Deng Yi's answer, Zhou Ji'an looked forward to the summer vacation every day.
But life is unpredictable, and her expectations were shattered by a phone call from her parents.
Her father said happily on the phone, "Zhou Ji'an, you have a younger brother now."
The father, who spent his whole life repeating the phrase "Other people have sons, so they can be proud," called her for the first time to announce the good news that she had a younger brother.
It's both ironic and absurd.
As Zhou Ji'an walked back to her dormitory after leaving the school library, she listened to her father repeatedly emphasizing the unexpectedly smooth delivery of her mother at an advanced age.
Zhou Ji'an had her last exam the next day, and she had already arranged with Deng Yi to move her luggage to his studio as soon as the holiday started.
She originally planned to move into Deng Yi's house, but considering that they weren't in a relationship yet, moving in directly would seem like she was rushing things. She ultimately decided to live in the studio, which would be more convenient for both work and study.
Summer nights are lively, and the chirping of insects is making Zhou Ji'an feel irritated. She said coldly, "What does it have to do with me?"
Her father hesitated for a long time before Zhou Ji'an roughly understood the purpose of his phone call.
They wanted her to come home and dispel the rumors.
After Zhou Ji'an received her university admission notice, she told her parents that she needed tuition and living expenses. Her father strongly urged her to come home and hold a celebration for her university admission.
To avoid her parents blackmailing her with tuition and living expenses, she agreed over the phone, while telling them that the school required a prepayment of tuition and asking them to transfer the tuition and living expenses to her bank card as soon as possible.
Although her father was a middle school math teacher, he was not familiar with the rules and regulations of universities today, and basically believed whatever Zhou Ji'an said.
After receiving a substantial sum of money from her parents, Zhou Ji'an told them that she would not be going back to hold a celebration for her college admission and refused to answer their calls.
Zhou Ji'an had long since given up on her parents. Ever since she discovered that other people's parents cooked and did laundry for their children who were in their final year of high school, and even rented apartments to take care of their children's daily needs, while her parents had given up on her when she was in her final year of high school and had a second child, all of that had vanished.
Now that she's in college, her parents, who are in their forties, have actually had a second child and hope she'll go back to attend their second baby's one-month celebration and act as part of a harmonious and loving family with them.
They wanted a second child, a boy, and now that their wish has come true, they are worried about gossip and fear that people will talk behind their backs about how they kicked their eldest daughter out of the house, or how they abandoned their eldest daughter for the sake of their second son.
Zhou Ji'an thought that perhaps they were afraid their son would suffer retribution.
Zhou Ji'an recalled how, back in their senior year of high school, they would sometimes vent their anger and resentment on her because they hadn't been able to conceive. He said sarcastically, "I heard that men your age have poor sperm quality, and their children are more likely to get sick."
Her father flew into a rage: "If you don't come back, don't expect us to give you another penny."
Although Zhou Ji'an's scholarship and Deng Yi's part-time salary were enough to cover her tuition and living expenses, she felt she was losing out by not receiving money from her parents.
On the day Zhou Ji'an left Jishi and returned to Anhe, Deng Yi drove her to the station and waited with her in the waiting room.
When the other passengers started queuing to have their tickets checked, Zhou Ji'an said, "You go back, I'm going to queue up."
Deng Yi helped her check her luggage and organize the snack bags, saying, "I'll leave after you get your ticket checked."
He led her into the line, stood behind her, and reminded her to be careful and not to talk to strangers.
The waiting room was stuffy and noisy, with people's smells and voices mingling together, but Deng Yi's smell and voice were very clear.
Zhou Ji'an faced Deng Yi and smiled, "I've taken long-distance trains by myself several times. I know all the procedures and how to ensure safety. If you have the chance in the future, I'll take you to experience the fun of taking long-distance trains. You should meet a lot of interesting people and take a lot of high-quality photos."
Deng Yi fanned her with his hand and asked, "Do you keep your word?"
Because Zhou Ji'an had just broken a contract, she was somewhat embarrassed and explained, "This time, I really had something to do at home and had to go back."
Zhou Ji'an couldn't reveal the unpleasantness of her family to Deng Yi, as the gap between them was already large enough, so she simply claimed that there were family matters and she couldn't work at his shop during the summer vacation.
Fortunately, Deng Yi had a strong sense of propriety and boundaries, and did not question him in detail.
"After you go back, call me at least once a day, and I'll forgive you." Deng Yi looked at her with bright eyes and made specific demands.
They seem to be dating.
Zhou Ji'an blushed slightly and asked, "Is it okay to fight anytime?"
Deng Yi nodded: "Yes, we can fight anytime."
Seeing that there were only five or six people left in front of Zhou Ji'an, Deng Yi reminded her to be careful again before stepping outside the group.
Zhou Ji'an was filled with disappointment. As she watched the distance between herself and Deng Yi grow further and further, when there were only two people left in front of her, she broke away from the group, rushed to Deng Yi, opened her arms, and hugged him.
They were only pretending to be in a relationship, not really, so Zhou Ji'an's hug was very brief.
As she let go, she sadly said goodbye, "I'm leaving."
Zhou Ji'an, who had returned to his suitcase and was about to have his ticket checked, dared not look back at Deng Yi.
She was afraid that if she looked at him even once more, she would immediately decide not to leave.
Back in Anhe, Zhou Ji'an met her younger brother and attended his full-moon celebration the next day with a forced smile.
When Zhou Ji'an thought of Deng Yi, she always felt that the world she was in was the real one, while the world with Deng Yi was just her fantasy.
To prove that the world with Deng Yi was not a fantasy, Zhou Ji'an called Deng Yi every day. Deng Yi always answered the phone. Even if he didn't answer, he would call her back in time and tell her why he didn't answer.
They weren't dating, but their relationship was closer than that of lovers.
The parents continued to pressure Zhou Ji'an into returning home for future winter and summer vacations to help them take care of their son, using tuition and living expenses as leverage.
Deng Yi became Zhou Ji'an's breathing window.
He inspired her endless imagination.
He reassured her that she would get out of this predicament.
During that time, Deng Yi was indeed Zhou Ji'an's breathing space, and she did indeed have beautiful imaginations about her future life.
But what ultimately pulled her out of her predicament was the untimely death of her younger brother.
Zhou Ji'an's words came true; her younger brother was diagnosed with neuroblastoma when he was one year old.
Her parents spent all their savings and sold their property to pay for their son's treatment. They even threatened suicide to force Zhou Ji'an to use his savings and take on part-time jobs to save their son.
Finally, Zhou Ji'an's regret for his younger brother, with whom he had only spent a little over two months, disappeared.
The son, whom his parents had hoped for and cherished, ultimately did not live past one and a half years old.
Zhou Ji'an thus lost the opportunity to study abroad.
At that time, Deng Yi's career was at its peak, and Zhou Ji'an was bombarded with advertisements and pictorials.
When Zhou Ji'an and Deng Yi were dating, everyone said she was not good enough for Deng Yi. Most of the time, Zhou Ji'an didn't believe it, or she could convince herself not to take it to heart, because Deng Yi was so good to her.
But one day, after a day of tutoring, she stood under the billboard advertising the luxury goods endorsed by Deng Yi, looking at his delicate face and tall figure, and realized for the first time the gap between her and Deng Yi that could not be narrowed in the slightest by Deng Yi's kindness to her.
This was true then, and it is true now.
Although Zhou Ji'an now has a good job and has almost cut off contact with her parents, when Deng Yi set the wedding date and asked to visit her parents, she was still afraid of exposing her shameful side. So she pretended that her relationship with her parents was normal and invited them to Ji City to meet Deng Yi's parents and invite them to the wedding.
She seemed to think that if she pretended that her family background was good, the gap between her and Deng Yi would narrow.
It's truly a game of self-deception.
"What are you thinking about?" After measuring the circumference of her ankle, Deng Yi couldn't help but grab her calf, making her bend over his waist, and completely pressed her into the chair.
Zhou Ji'an's chair has armrests.
The two of them took up all the space in the seats, making Zhou Ji'an feel suffocated. In addition, Deng Yi's weight was all transferred to her, making it increasingly difficult for her to breathe.
She closed her eyes, savoring Deng Yi's deep, yearning kiss, without answering his question.
If their marriage were normal, she thought she would reply, "I miss you."
Deng Yi kissed her already swollen lips and said, "I'll make sure you eat well from now on, and see if I can get you back to your previous condition."
He wanted to do something impossible.
Zhou Ji'an was unsure of his intentions, and said objectively, "I used to be eighteen or nineteen years old, and now I'm almost twenty-eight or twenty-nine. I've even grown three or four centimeters taller. No matter how well I eat, I can never go back to my previous state."
Deng Yi, who had been holding her waist and shoulders, placed his arms on either side of her body and looked at her with eyes that seemed to see right through her. "You just need to give me time, don't worry about anything else."
Upon hearing this, Zhou Ji'an felt a lump in his throat, stretched out his arm, and hooked it tightly around his neck.
But why, even though she had already embraced the real Deng Yi, did she still feel like she was only holding onto air?
The computer beeped with a notification sound indicating a new message had been received.
"Lu Jianni said yes, she also wants to invite two of your friends from the symposium, one is called Zhao Xingran, and the other is called Qin Xiran, or Qin Xirang."
"I heard from Lu Jianni that Qin Xiran is a new actress, and she probably wants to introduce her to Deng Yi."
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