20 Chapter Nineteen
Should I hold you and cry?
Tan Xiuyun lived a childless life, residing alone in a drab tenement building next to the Fengtan Orphanage. In 1997, Liang Mei smashed her kitchen window open with a stone, followed by throwing in several rotten eggs, shards of glass scattering everywhere. Tan Xiuyun has never replaced that window.
Liang Mei offered to help her repair it several times, but she refused. Even when she put it back together, it would still break. Liang Mei was never the first, nor would she be the last.
Tan Xiuyun is a contradictory person. After retiring, she taught at an orphanage on a voluntary basis, and even when a middle school in Fengtan wanted to rehire her, she refused. But unlike other volunteer teachers, she was not gentle and very patient with the children.
Tan Xiuyun was a bad-tempered teacher who frequently resorted to corporal punishment, making her the most disliked student. They would often sneak to her house and smash her windows. Liang Mei smashed them, Zhu Xiaoliang smashed them, and even Hu Zheng, who delivered the news of Teacher Tan's death to Liang Mei, smashed them…
Zhu Xiaoliang and Hu Zheng were also present when Liang Mei was arrested. Tan Xiuyun cooked a bowl of noodles for each of them. Zhu Xiaoliang and Hu Zheng didn't have eggs, but Liang Mei's bowl had a rotten egg in it. Liang Mei angrily picked out the rotten egg, but Tan Xiuyun forced her to eat it with a stern face, telling her that if she couldn't eat it, she should tell the director and they would be kicked out of the orphanage.
Upon hearing that she was to be told to the dean, Liang Mei hurriedly picked up her chopsticks and began to gulp down her food. Seeing that even her smelly bowl was being eaten, Zhu Xiaoliang and Hu Zhengyi followed suit without saying a word.
Once they tasted it, Liang Mei realized that the eggs weren't as smelly as she had imagined. However, Tan Xiuyun was not so kind, as she had put a lot of chili peppers in the noodles. The three of them ate until their faces turned red and they choked like lapdogs, constantly sticking out their tongues and asking for water.
Tan Xiuyun is a vengeful person. She doesn't give anyone a friendly look and speaks very harshly. In Liang Mei's words, Tan Xiuyun looks down on everyone. She can use the most offensive language to curse someone's ancestors over phone bills and customer service, but she will also spend her own money to top up the phone credit of the grandparents of the left-behind children she used to teach in the town, just to find out why the students haven't been coming to class recently.
Liang Mei and her two friends, because of that bowl of noodles, had been holding a grudge and looking for an opportunity to get revenge on Tan Xiuyun. But how could children who were only a little over ten years old compete with a seasoned veteran who had been teaching for nearly forty years? What kind of mischievous kids hadn't Tan Xiuyun seen?
Their attempt to steal a chicken backfired; instead, Tan Xiuyun frequently dragged them in to memorize texts. If they couldn't recite them, she'd slap their hands, make them stand in the corner, or force them to hop around the yard like frogs—a variety of methods to keep them completely submissive. Under Tan Xiuyun's relentless admonitions with the ruler and handstands against the wall, these blockheads finally began to understand. Zhu Xiaoliang, in particular, developed an uncontrollable love for mathematics.
Over the years, Liang Mei and Tan Xiuyun have rarely had a peaceful conversation. Every time they meet, they argue. The most recent time was because of Li Yingqiao. Liang Mei chose Li Yingqiao as a scapegoat and made a bet with Tan Xiuyun, trying to prove that she was more qualified to be a teacher. After seeing Li Yingqiao's grades, Tan Xiuyun slammed her hand on the table and gave Liang Mei a thorough dressing-down.
"Liang Mei, are you out of your mind?! Who do you think you are? You've been teaching for a few years and you really think you're a savior? Can you even compare kids these days to those from the past? Their parents aren't worried, why are you pretending to be clueless? Have you ever thought about what will happen if they get into college and then there's the college entrance exam? What if their parents blame you? If they don't get in, they'll blame you for ruining their kids' lives! Do you even have a brain? Don't you dare mislead other kids!"
“Tan Xiuyun,” Liang Mei always addressed her by her first name, as she had called her since childhood, and replied with a cold laugh, “that’s what you taught me. You were the one who said that women could change their destiny through education, not through marriage, and now you’re saying I’m misleading young people?”
Tan Xiuyun was furious and spoke even more harshly: "That's because you're an orphan! What can you do if you don't study? Do you have a family to support you? What have I ever told you? Studying is never the only way out, but it's the only chance for lazy and stupid people like you to compete fairly with others. Smart people never have to worry about food or drink anywhere. Only idiots like you need to study! If you can't even read such rigid books, what can you expect to do for society!"
"I'm an idiot. Yes, Li Yingqiao isn't. I made her study, but I ended up harming her! You think you're worthy of being called Teacher Tan?"
“She shouldn’t be studying with you. Your half-baked knowledge is no good; what kind of promising students can you possibly teach? Liang Mei, I forced you to study because you had nothing else but a little bit of cleverness. Studying was your only support. I never expected you to come back as a teacher, and you’ve never thought about why. What I, Tan Xiuyun, want is never for you to make something of yourself!”
Liang Mei didn't say anything at the time. She felt that Tan Xiuyun had become more and more fake as she got older, living a more and more pretentious and sanctimonious life. She clearly loved money and empty fame, but at least she would never openly say that she was doing it for their own good. Even though she was criticized by her students for her bad temper for the rest of her life, and even though she was misunderstood, spread rumors, and slandered, she never explained herself in the slightest.
But now she always acts superior, putting on airs like a teacher, with an aloof air that says, "I don't want anything, I just want peace of mind." Her old, vindictive self was actually more likable.
"Then tell me, what do you want?" Ignoring the stiff expressions on Zhu Xiaoliang and Hu Zheng's faces, Liang Mei was determined to settle things with Tan Xiuyun. "I'm an orphan, without parents, and I've lived my whole life on a meager salary. I've lived an honest and upright life. I ate a bowl of noodles from you and owed you several years of teacher-student relationship. I'll repay you for everything. Tell me, what do you want?"
Upon hearing this, Tan Xiuyun's face turned deathly pale. After the fierce argument, she lay exhausted on the hospital bed, her lips trembling but unable to utter a single word. It was rare for the usually sharp-tongued Tan Xiuyun to be rendered speechless by someone.
Zhu Xiaoliang couldn't bear it, so he covered her with a blanket and whispered to comfort her, "Teacher Tan, Liang Mei is stubborn but soft-hearted, you know that, please don't take it to heart. I've met that student, she's quite promising. Sister Mei and I have agreed that if Li Yingqiao can really get into Tanzhong High School, we won't slack off for the next three years of high school. Liang Mei and I will definitely send her to a prestigious university."
"Why...?" Tan Xiuyun opened her mouth in surprise.
Zhu Xiaoliang said, “Do you remember the three questions you asked me? They were the three questions God asked the angels in Tolstoy’s book ‘What Do People Live By?’: ‘What is in a person’s heart?’, ‘What is it that a person is powerless to do?’, ‘What do people live by?’ The angels concluded that it was love. We also know that you have been practicing the third question with us. You never expected us to be outstanding; you just hoped that we could survive, no matter what.”
Living was hard in the past. Tan Xiuyun never understood why, even when reading Tolstoy's book, she, a person of such harshness and eccentricity, felt nothing but disdain and contempt. Love? Love was such an ethereal thing; who would live on it? She felt that hatred was the most real thing, hating those who died tragically, and seeing their miserable ends was what kept her going. So she felt that, rather than love, it was hatred that allowed people to live.
If it weren't for Tan Xiuyun's bowl of noodles, Liang Mei, Zhu Xiaoliang, and Hu Zheng, with their unruly personalities, would have long been relegated to juvenile detention centers on the streets. They had no sense of right and wrong; at just over ten years old, they dared to smash teachers' windows with stones. If they were older, no one would be surprised if they punched a hole in the sky. No one would pity them, but Tan Xiuyun had seen too many such troublemakers. Liang Mei, Zhu Xiaoliang, and Hu Zheng weren't even the worst troublemakers; she was fully capable of bringing them back on the right track.
But she knew exactly what Liang Mei was capable of. She knew that Liang Mei had only gotten this far by sheer willpower, and so be it. She didn't want to argue with her anymore.
Tan Xiuyun slowly closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face. Her lips trembled even more violently. She never imagined that these words would come from the mouth of Zhu Xiaoliang, the math idiot, and that even he would understand. How much did Liang Mei hate her that she wouldn't even give her a word of comfort at the very end?
"You can go now, I'm tired. Next time you come, don't bring so much fruit, I can't eat it all by myself."
That was the last time they spoke.
Liang Mei never went back. Last week, Hu Zheng asked her if she wanted to go see Teacher Tan together. Liang Mei thought that the high school entrance exam results hadn't come out yet, and going would only lead to endless arguments. She didn't want to upset her anymore, so she replied to Hu Zheng that she would go see Li Yingqiao after she got her results.
She even went downstairs to the fruit shop and pre-ordered a huge amount of seasonal fruit, all of which were expensive and things she didn't like. She insisted on carrying a dazzling array of fruit there, and even wanted to move the entire fruit shop over to fill her ward to the brim—
She sat right next to her hospital bed, eating fruit in big gulps. After she had eaten her fill, slurping the juice with loud smacking sounds, which made the person on the bed curse, she wouldn't get angry with her or argue with her. She would just pat the score checking system on her phone on the bedside table and casually tell her, "Tan Xiuyun, this is my student."
She loved seeing Tan Xiuyun get her comeuppance.
Tan Xiuyun would definitely say, "What can a brainless person prove with just one high school entrance exam? Can you take care of her for the rest of her life?"
Tell me!
Tan Xiujun, why aren't you saying anything?
***
On the day the results were released, Fengtan was as hot as a kiln, it felt like people were being burned like porcelain. Li Shuli had just returned from the bank and bought some groceries at the farmers' market downstairs. She planned to cook some big dishes for Qiaoqiao that evening to celebrate. Regardless of whether she passed the exam or not, she had seen how hard Qiaoqiao had worked during this period.
As Li Shuli was carrying a fish and preparing to unlock the door, Aunt Liu from next door happened to come out as well. Upon seeing Li Shuli, she couldn't wait to say, "Shuli, do you want to go get some gua sha together? A new gua sha shop recently opened downstairs, and they're having a grand opening promotion: top up 500 yuan and get two gua sha boards for free."
That's a rip-off; 500 yuan can buy 500 gua sha boards.
Li Shuli opened the door with her key without changing her expression: "No, Qiaoqiao will get her results later, and I need to stay home and cook for her. You guys go ahead."
Aunt Liu then "helpfully" advised her, "You really don't spend any money on yourself, Shuli. Don't blame me for being nosy, but Qiaoqiao is about to go to high school. You could consider finding someone to live with. Otherwise, you'll be lonely at home when Qiaoqiao goes to college. You should take care of yourself a little."
Li Shuli lives alone with her child in Fengtan, a place steeped in feudalism. In fact, since Li Yingqiao was five years old, she has been hearing these kinds of words all the time. Back when she ran a grocery store in Xiaohua City, her neighbors felt sorry for Qiaoqiao, who slept between the shelves at night and could hardly even turn over. They told her to find someone else to marry, and that the two of them could work hard to buy a house in Fengtan, so that at least Qiaoqiao could have a father.
As a result, Li Yingqiao was so anxious that she immediately lay in bed that night and told her, "Mom, don't listen to what others are saying. I don't need Dad. Adults really don't know how happy children are. I'm so happy sleeping in the middle of the shelves! Snacks fall down whenever I turn over. Listen, I love my little bed here so much. I have endless snacks every day. I don't want to move to any other place. I want to sleep here forever."
Li Shuli knew, of course; she knew how happy Qiaoqiao was back then.
Aunt Liu was always good at matchmaking and often complained that Li Shuli devoted herself entirely to her daughter and was reluctant to spend any money on herself. She felt she couldn't get anything out of Li Shuli, and when they met, Aunt Liu would say a few words, but Li Shuli would just ignore them and not take them to heart. But today, Li Shuli was in a good mood. She had finally saved up 30,000 yuan for Qiaoqiao. She had just deposited it in a fixed-term deposit account at the bank. By the time Qiaoqiao graduated from university, she should have saved up 200,000 yuan. That way, no matter what happened to Qiaoqiao in the future, she would at least have 200,000 yuan to start her own small business.
So, contrary to his usual behavior, he said to Aunt Liu, "Next time, next time, we have to celebrate for Qiaoqiao today."
Aunt Liu's eyes lit up: "Qiaoqiao, you wouldn't really get into Tanzhong High School, would you? Qiaoqiao is amazing! But you said yourself, let's go together next time. I've noticed you haven't even bought yourself a new piece of clothing in the past few years. You're too frugal. A woman should treat herself better. By the way, Shuli, if you have some spare cash, you could—"
"Can't!"
Li Shuli's expression changed, and she immediately closed the door.
She would never lend out a single penny of the money Qiaoqiao needed to open her shop.
Another kiln in Fengtan was also firing vigorously, but the atmosphere was somewhat quiet.
Zhu Xiaoliang looked at the closed door behind the living room, and then at the little head on the sofa, hugging a pillow and looking a bit dejected.
"Based on this year's estimated cut-off scores, Li Yingqiao is probably just five points short. However, the final cut-off scores for Tanzhong have not yet been released, and the admission ratio for Tanzhong this year is uncertain. I am just estimating her ranking at Experimental Middle School based on her previous scores. Li Yingqiao's score is probably just a little short. But she has made great progress. In three months, she was able to rise from her original score to over 600 points, which is already a miracle."
Zhu Xiaoliang was reporting the results to Hu Zheng. Although Hu Zheng had never met the children, he knew how determined Liang Mei was about this matter. He sighed on the other end of the phone, "Then you need to talk to Liang Mei. This is a double blow for her. What about the other three children?"
Zhu Xiaoliang said, "One of them is stuck on the wire, but the other two should be fine."
Sure enough, a week later, Tanzhong announced this year's admission scores. Zhu Xiaoliang's prediction was accurate to the last point, Li Yingqiao was five points short, Gao Dian just barely passed the line, and Zheng Miaojia and Yu Jinyang's scores were comparable, far exceeding Tanzhong's admission scores this year. These two might even be able to enter Tanzhong's top class.
On the day the cut-off scores were announced, Zhu Xiaoliang decided to go to Li Yingqiao's house. He asked Zheng Miaojia and Gao Dian, but no one knew the address. Only Liang Mei knew it, as she was busy with Tan Xiujun's funeral arrangements.
He thought for a moment and then called Yu Jinyang, "Do you know where Li Yingqiao lives? I want to talk to her mother, or maybe we can go to Li Yingqiao's house together."
Li Yingqiao gave Yu Jinyang the address, but their house wasn't in the standard multi-building, multi-unit residential complex, so it was very hard to find. Even after living there for several years, she still couldn't figure out which unit and number their house was. So she told them to take the bus to the farmers' market stop, and she would come pick them up.
This was the first time in Yu Jinyang's life that he had ridden a bus, and he sat on Zhu Xiaoliang's lap.
The farmers' market stop was packed. Even before the bus arrived, a bunch of people were already rushing off, carrying their purchases, like a flood about to burst its banks, all surging towards the entrance. The polite Yu Jinyang tried to make way for the elderly folks carrying chickens, ducks, and geese, but they didn't need him to; they grabbed him and pulled him onto their legs.
Zhu Xiaoliang was used to it; at the farmers' market stop, as long as you still had your shoes when you got off the bus, they considered it polite.
However, Yu Jinyang had never seen anything like this before. Before he could even cry out, the chickens, ducks, and geese in the car were squawking even louder than he was. As soon as the car came to a stop, just as he was about to stand up while holding onto the seat, he saw Li Yingqiao's head outside the car window, almost level with it. She even stuck her head in: "Yu Miaomiao! Look how tall I am, my head can fit in! Wow, you're actually sitting on Teacher Zhu's lap!"
Yu Jinyang was so frightened that he quickly shoved her head back in: "...Are you crazy? What if the driver drives off and your head falls into the car?! I was pushed!"
"Who, who pushed you?" Li Yingqiao's eyes instantly flashed like searchlights, scanning the carriage like laser beams. "He won't say a word if I take two eggs from him, will he?"
"..."
When Yu Jinyang finally got off the car with the crowd, he followed Zhu Xiaoliang slowly, bending down to look into her eyes as he walked, looking her over and over again. "You can still joke with me? Looks like you're okay even if you didn't get into Tanzhong?"
"What else? Should I hug you and cry?" Li Yingqiao said, rubbing her head against his elbow, and actually started crying in a foreign accent. While pretending to wipe her tears with his short-sleeved shirt, she stammered, "Yu Miaomiao—I'm so miserable, I was only five points short! Five points! I'm doomed, I'll never be good for the rest of my life. Dance for me, I need some fun—"
Yu Jinyang said, "Let Zhu Xiaoliang jump."
"...Stop messing with him." Zhu Xiaoliang scooped up the two kids. "Come on, I need to talk to your mom about something."
[Author's Note]
Volume One still has a little ending!
I'll add an extra chapter tomorrow night to wrap up Volume 1. The rest of the volume will be about adult reunions.
Two hundred red envelopes!!!
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