85 Chapter Eighty-Four
◎ Yu Jinyang at eighteen and Yu Jinyang at twenty-eight. ◎
Almost without warning, Yu Jinyang's tears welled up instantly.
He could even imagine the expression on her face when she sent those words. Li Yingqiao wouldn't complain or be cynical; she just felt lost and didn't know what was wrong with her.
That's why she said: "Are you doing well in Chicago? The doctor said I'm sick."
She didn't say definitively that I was sick.
She said the doctor said I was sick. Yu Jinyang knew her too well. Just from those few words, he could almost guess that she had just come out of the hospital when she posted this message, because she was still trying to understand what the doctor meant.
She was just curious, just like when she was eighteen and questioned Liang Mei in the pouring rain: Why are you like this!
She was always full of curiosity, and for many people, she always tried to reason with fate. But when it came to herself, she accepted it blankly and endured it calmly.
The tears came suddenly and overwhelmingly. He sat on the bench outside the ward for a long, long time, his eyes closed, tears streaming silently down his face, his Adam's apple bobbing laboredly and painfully. His shadow was nailed to the dimly lit floor tiles of the corridor, as if it had grown into the silent darkness.
...
When Li Yingqiao was eighteen, he and Lu Yingchuan saw each other frequently. At that time, he did not know it was because of Fang Yue. Fang Yue was honest and simple, the kind of person who would do anything Li Yingqiao asked.
Zheng Miaojia was unaware that Fang Yue liked Lu Yingchuan.
Because she also said that Li Yingqiao and Lu Yingchuan's names even match well, and they could be called "Heart to Heart".
Yu Jinyang just sneered when he heard that. So what if their last characters both had the wood radical?
He later discovered more commonalities between their names: for example, their surnames were both top-bottom structures, their second characters were both left-right structures, and their third characters not only had the same radicals but also the same tone.
Back then, after finishing his exams, he would study the commonalities in his draft notebook, filling it with their names. He wrote so many of them that he couldn't find any commonalities. It became a habit; after writing the character with the "wood" radical, he would casually write "Qiao" next to it. He didn't even notice until the papers were returned, when he saw the name clearly written as: Yu Jinqiao.
That was Yu Jinyang, who was eighteen years old.
He had imagined that twenty-eight-year-old Yu Jinyang might be driven to tears by twenty-eight-year-old Li Yingqiao, to the point of jumping into the sea like his father, but it would never be like this now. His heart felt like it was being crumpled into a ball of paper. He would flatten it out, pat it to catch his breath, and then crumple it up again, crying until he couldn't breathe.
He had imagined what she was like in Beijing: sometimes a couch potato, sometimes bursting with energy, sometimes excited, sometimes lazy. She had always been like that, intermittently energetic, intermittently a couch potato, intermittently friendly with him, intermittently breaking off relations. She had a few true friends, and a few suitors. Her career was generally thriving, because she was inherently competitive; she needed to give Liang Mei an explanation. Perhaps she would have a boyfriend, perhaps she wouldn't—he had thought about all of this, and he didn't think it was a big deal.
That day, during a barbecue by the river, she said that she got along well with Lu Yingchuan because of Fang Yue, something even Zheng Miaojia didn't know. He didn't really believe her.
At that time, he thought that even if it was just an excuse, at least Li Yingqiao was willing to coax him.
At eighteen, he was clueless about romantic relationships. He vaguely sensed that his feelings for Li Yingqiao were different from his feelings for Zheng Miaojia. He could watch Zheng Miaojia play with other boys without any emotional fluctuation, but he couldn't do that with Li Yingqiao; he always felt a nameless anger inside him.
But every time she came back from playing with the cats and dogs, she would casually turn her back on him and ask him with a straight face, "How do you solve this problem?"
He sometimes gets angry, and sometimes he doesn't. On days when he's not angry, at most she just looks a little cuter; on days when he's angry, he'll say, "Go ask that pianist."
Li Yingqiao then said something that made him feel even more like he had a heart attack: "He doesn't know how, that's why I'm asking you."
Without saying a word, Yu Jinyang grabbed her by the back of the neck and tried to shove her head into the table. Li Yingqiao thought he was playing with her, so she shrank her neck and said, "Meow, I'm itchy." He let go, tugged at her ponytail, and said coldly, "If you don't know how, don't learn. Go to the factory and tighten screws."
Back then, I was always angry.
He got used to it as he got angry, used to her playing with other people. He only said to himself, "Li Yingqiao, don't come back to me again, or I'll settle the score with you sooner or later."
As the workload increased, many students at the school began dating early, and quite a few were caught. Under the teachers' repeated emphasis, he gradually understood why this feeling of pent-up emotions, like a cork in a wine bottle, was brewing inside him. He then openly confessed to his father, saying, "Dad, I might like Li Yingqiao." However, he remembered a promise he made to his father when he was young, and he didn't want his father to actually die. At that time, Li Yingqiao and Lu Yingchuan were also deeply in love, and he had promised his father that he would try, to try not to like her.
For almost half a year during their senior year of high school, they barely spoke to each other. When he received tutoring at Liang Mei's house, he rarely took the initiative, and after explaining the problems to them, he would silently do his homework. It was also during that time that he started practicing Breaking, repeatedly slamming himself against the floor, trying to shake off the excess hormones from his body.
Of course, he also tried many other methods, such as taking out the DVD of the primary school New Year's Day art performance and watching it repeatedly to watch the famous scene where Li Yingqiao silenced the audience.
His father's assessment was:
A stand-up comedy routine that sounds more like beatboxing than a recitation.
One song produced three different entertainment effects; who really benefited?
But why do you like her? Isn't Zheng Miaojia cuter than her?
Yu Jinyang didn't know, just like that morning in fourth grade. He had clearly resolved not to help her take out the trash anymore. But when he saw Liang Mei walking hurriedly into the classroom with a stern face, while he was still slowly eating a steamed bun and saluting the gatekeeper at the school gate, his hand was faster than his brain, and he involuntarily reached for the trash can.
He wanted to chop off this hand several times, and of course, he said countless times that he wanted to cut off his tongue.
He felt that Li Yingqiao's genes might be etched into his DNA.
Then one day, Li Yingqiao and Lu Yingchuan suddenly stopped seeing each other.
He also told Brother Siyi that men shouldn't fall in love too quickly, and that Fengtan's most affectionate man fainted because his son was too affectionate.
That's how Yu Renjie went through the phase of crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide. Li Yingqiao said that Yu Jinyang also had a bad temper at that time, so it's no wonder he was in a bad mood. As soon as he got home, there was someone hanging there with a shrill voice, as if he was going to die in front of him.
Ms. Tang Xiang never expressed her opinion because she knew that her father never liked Li Yingqiao.
Li Yingqiao has her own "Painting City Dad Ranking," with Siyi Brother ranked first. Even though she thinks Siyi Brother dislikes her, she tells him without hesitation, "Meow Meow, I ranked your dad first. Do you know how good your dad is?"
He never goes out to play cards after work; he always comes home to be with you and Mom. You know how much the adults in Xiaohuacheng love playing mahjong? Miaojia's dad has skipped picking her up from school several times because he was playing mahjong.
He first met Yu Renjie when he was five years old. He came to Xiaohua City from Hainan when he was five. The new environment was unfamiliar to him. He didn't know what the adults here were like. He had never paid attention to these things. He was just trying his best to adapt to life here.
In the words of a large company, it's very difficult to align the thinking of adults and children at the same level. Yu Renjie isn't the type to constantly say things like "I love you all," though he can be quite sarcastic.
When Yu Jinyang first arrived in Xiaohua City, the concept of fatherly love seemed very abstract. It wasn't until Li Yingqiao opened up a new way of thinking for him that he began to observe Yu Renjie and slowly began to have a concept of family.
Senior year of high school was the most strained year for their father-son relationship. Yu Renjie also suffered repeated setbacks in his career; several factories were reported and shut down, and two cargo ships sank overseas. That year, they suffered heavy losses. In addition, his son was constantly going against him. Once, in a fit of anger, Yu Renjie mentioned divorce to Tang Xiang, saying that he would give all the money to them and leave with nothing, so that his son wouldn't dislike him and bring back an even more disliked daughter-in-law.
That time, he spoke very bluntly: "At eighteen, you're talking to me about love? What do you even know about love? Your future is uncertain, you don't have a job, what can you give her? Even if I accept you two dating, so what? Can you two continue? Can you guarantee she won't meet someone better than you in college? True love is about being willing to die for the other person, are you willing? You're not that in love yet, what are you talking to me about love? If you were standing here saying this to me at twenty-eight, I would have nothing to say. As your father, I would bless you, and I hope she is as resolute as you."
“If that year really comes and you come back and tell me, ‘Dad, I still won’t marry anyone but her,’ then I’ll truly admire you, Yu Jinyang.”
When Yu Renjie was dumped by Tang Xiang, he spent his days in tears, digging for wild vegetables at home, feeling that his life would never be good again, but he never thought of dying. When he said that, he felt somewhat despicable. He had always admitted to his own despicableness, only relying on the fact that he had lived twenty more years than his son.
Yu Jinyang actually searched for this question on Baidu: Does loving someone really mean dying for them? Frankly, he didn't want to. Baidu suggested he see a psychologist and not to search on Baidu unnecessarily.
His immature understanding of love in his youth prevented him from saying to his father, "I'm willing to die for her." However, as a 28-year-old, Yu Jinyang, after a complete overhaul of his worldview, should be able to view this relationship with a clearer and more rational perspective.
He thought so.
But suddenly he felt that he might actually be willing.
Because Li Yingqiao is probably reckless and impulsive. Even if he jokingly said, "Let's go, I'll take you to the Mariana Trench to scoop up the moon," she would still be the kind of person who would take off without hesitation, rowing her boat before dawn.
Instead of seeing him cry like this, and then gently cupping his face in her hands and saying, "Did I do something wrong?"
Zhang Zongxie told him, hoping to keep it a secret. He was worried that Li Yingqiao might be stressed, and he didn't know if she was still seeing a psychologist.
***
Li Yingqiao walked back. Actually, she felt a little sad, and her first reaction was that she was afraid he would be bullied outside.
She turned around and squatted down, carefully cupping the man's face, which was frozen like an ice cube by the cold wind, out of the hoodie's hood. Looking at his red, tear-filled eyes, she said, "Meow, did someone bully you?"
Yu Jinyang was amused again. With a "pfft," he sighed with despair, looking up at the sky. Avoiding her aggressive yet sincere gaze, he said with a wry smile, "Li Yingqiao, we've all grown up. Do you understand? No one bullies me, and if they do, I'll fight back."
"Then why are you being so dramatic?" Li Yingqiao poked his cheek.
They won't even let you cry.
One was squatting, the other was sitting on the steps. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and gave the order: "Li Yingqiao, wipe my tears. The tissues are in the left pocket."
"Where is it?" Li Yingqiao squatted down and subconsciously reached out to touch it, only to pull out a small box. "What's this?"
"Condoms," Li Yingqiao looked at him meaningfully, "Just one box?"
"Oh, the right side, I got it wrong." He chuckled, mimicking the way she used to glare at him when they were little, giving her a sidelong glance. This was a rare sight of Yu Jinyang with a red nose. He tried to make amends: "What kind of look is that?"
Li Yingqiao punched him twice, rolled her eyes, and reached to the other side to rummage, "Where? There are no tissues."
He then pulled out a small, hard box.
Li Yingqiao was stunned for a moment, then the next second.
“Look up,” he suddenly said in a low voice, his voice no longer nasal, but calm and firm, “Li Yingqiao, the moon is so round tonight.”
He made a circle with his index finger and thumb, so that Li Yingqiao could see the clear and full moon in the night sky through it.
It is indeed exceptionally round.
"You saw it, and then what?"
"No, can't you see?" He glanced at her with some disbelief, turned her head and tried to check her eyes, saying, "Presbyopia or nearsightedness, choose one."
Li Yingqiao burst out laughing, laughing so hard she bent over backwards, her head resting on his shoulder.
She actually saw it; it was a ring.
Yu Jinyang held a silver ring between his fingers, casually capturing the moon in the night sky. His hand was steady, and the angle was precise, allowing her to see the full, clear moon. Then, looking down at the person lazily perched on her shoulder, waiting patiently for what was to come, he asked:
"Li Yingqiao, shall we get married?"
[Author's Note]
See you the day after tomorrow.
Update time: 20:00-24:00
There's a red envelope in this chapter too!
This is my first proposal~
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