In the flower hall, the candlelight flickered. Lin Xihe and Gu Qinghuai sat facing each other. Lin Xihe's eyebrows and eyes showed resistance, as if there was an invisible chasm between her and Gu Qinghuai.
Gu Qinghuai's expression darkened, and he raised his hand and waved it lightly, signaling all the servants in the hall to leave.
Once they were alone, his gaze returned to Lin Xihe, and the heartache in his eyes could no longer be hidden. He asked softly, "Xihe, are you blaming me for not being able to get back to your side when you needed me most?"
Lin Xihe snorted coldly, turned her face away, and replied coldly, "I'm upset that you're back now."
Upon hearing this, Gu Qinghuai's face showed a bitter expression, and he slowly explained, "When General Lin was in trouble, the Northern Di army was pressing on the border, and the situation was extremely critical. As the commander of the northern border, I was responsible for the safety of thousands of people. At that time, I could not abandon the people and only care about my own selfish interests, so I rushed back to the capital immediately."
"Brother, please don't say that." Lin Xihe immediately stopped Gu Qinghuai from speaking.
“I never had the idea of asking you to abandon the people to protect me alone. I know what’s important and what’s urgent. Don’t try to pin this blame on me, okay?” She spoke earnestly, eager to clear herself of this unwarranted responsibility. After all, she couldn’t bear such a heavy burden.
As Gu Qinghuai listened to Lin Xihe's words, his brows furrowed slightly involuntarily, and he wondered to himself: Is this still the same Lin Xihe?
In the past, although Lin Xihe came from a family of military generals, she was frail in her childhood and was well cared for by her family. She was raised with great care and was always quiet and well-behaved. She would never speak such blunt and even vulgar words as she does now.
However, Gu Qinghuai did not feel any aversion to this. On the contrary, he believed that Lin Xihe must have suffered too much during this period, which caused such a big change in her personality.
"Xihe, I'm so sorry for making you suffer so much." Gu Qinghuai's voice was full of guilt and tenderness.
“If you really feel guilty, then go and beg His Majesty to rescind the imperial decree that granted the marriage, so that I can…” Lin Xihe stopped mid-sentence, realizing her mistake, and swallowed the rest of her words.
Fearing that his carelessness might make him jealous of Ji Zhuo and cause him to secretly sabotage him, he quickly changed his words and said, "I just don't want to get married, that's all."
"I cannot agree to this." Gu Qinghuai slowly shook his head, his eyes firm yet complex, as if he had a thousand words to say but didn't know where to begin.
Seeing this, Lin Xihe was speechless and could only bite her lower lip silently, remaining silent.
"Let's eat something first. The food won't taste good if it gets cold," Gu Qinghuai said gently, breaking the silence and trying to ease the slightly awkward atmosphere.
He gently picked up a small bowl, scooped up a spoonful of lotus and lily soup, and said as he served, "You used to love this lotus and lily soup the most. Now it's the dead of winter, all snow and ice, and it's not easy to find lotus flowers. I specially had this saved for you."
Lin Xihe turned her head away, her expression cold, and said indifferently, "I don't like this soup. I think you've mistaken me for someone else."
"Um?"
Gu Qinghuai paused, "How could this be? Last year you begged me to find lotus flowers for you, saying that only lotus flowers in soup could please you. This soup was made with lotus flowers carefully saved from when they were in full bloom this year, how come now..."
Last year? Lin Xihe tried hard to search her memory of last year, but found that all of the original owner's experiences were still vivid in her mind. Last year seemed to be missing a piece, and no matter how hard she racked her brains, she could not piece it together completely.
She had heard that some people, after experiencing a major life event, will selectively forget certain things or people as a form of self-protection.
Thinking of this, Lin Xihe's gaze involuntarily turned to Gu Qinghuai across from her again.
Could it be because the original owner was deeply in love with Gu Qinghuai, but after the family tragedy, Gu Qinghuai's family not only failed to show any concern, but also came to break off the engagement? This heavy blow caused the original owner's body to instinctively choose to forget her past with Gu Qinghuai.
Lin Xihe's mind raced, and she decided to test him. So she said in a slightly sarcastic tone, "General Gu, you are so busy with important matters, yet you still remember my preferences? And you still know about what happened last year?"
Gu Qinghuai gently placed the bowl of soup in front of Lin Xihe and replied earnestly, "I will never forget anything related to you."
Lin Xihe thought to herself: You should give me one or two specific examples so I can recall them and see if they really happened.
"For example?" she pressed.
Gu Qinghuai, a seasoned veteran, saw right through Lin Xihe's little scheme: "You don't remember?"
Lin Xihe hadn't expected her intentions to be seen through so quickly, so she simply made up a story: "Yes, what happened? I had a high fever when I was in Xinghua Village. I was penniless and couldn't afford to see a doctor, so I toughed it out at home for a few days. Since then, I've often had trouble remembering things."
"You've been sick for so long?" Gu Qinghuai frowned, his face full of worry.
"That's right. You really are something else, arranging for people but not giving them any money. Also, I hate this kind of self-made arrangement. If you had been honest and told me it was your doing, maybe I wouldn't be grieving alone in Xinghua Village."
Lin Xihe felt that she was missing a part of the original owner's memory, and these words were meant to express her indignation on behalf of the original owner.
If things had been explained clearly back then, the original owner's memories of those days might not have been filled with hardship and bitterness, or even the feeling that life had lost its meaning.
"At that time, the Northern Barbarians were coming on strong, almost with the entire nation's strength, while our reinforcements were slow to arrive. If I were to die on the battlefield, I fear you would find it unbearable. First my elder brother, then my father, and if news of my death were to come..."
Gu Qinghuai explained patiently.
Upon hearing these words, Lin Xihe suddenly felt a sharp pain in her chest, as if an invisible hand was gripping her heart tightly. The pain was unbearable, and she instinctively clutched her chest.
The pain surged like a tidal wave, making her breathless and almost suffocating.
"Xihe? What's wrong with you?" Gu Qinghuai was shocked when he saw this.
"I...ah..." Lin Xihe was in so much pain that she was sweating profusely and could barely speak.
"Quickly, fetch a doctor! Pei Qian, go and fetch the imperial physician!" Gu Qinghuai shouted anxiously outside.
Immediately afterwards, he hurriedly hugged Lin Xihe in his arms. At this moment, Lin Xihe's forehead was covered with cold sweat, and her face was as pale as paper.
Why does my heart suddenly hurt?
Filled with anxiety, Gu Qinghuai carried Lin Xihe and hurriedly walked towards her bedroom, hoping to make her more comfortable and relieve her excruciating pain.
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