Chapter 33
Su Zhelan splashed cold water on his face. The reflection in the mirror showed slightly damp temples and a lessened redness in his eyes, but still a lingering sense of disarray. He changed into a plain white undergarment, his still-damp hair loose, and leaned against the headboard, flipping through a book.
The candlelight flickered on the desk, casting the words on the pages on and off, but even after staring at it for a while, he still couldn't make out what was written.
The sound of the knuckles knocking on the door was very soft, three knocks, just enough to be heard.
Before Su Zhelan could respond, the door creaked open, and a pale figure walked in carrying a gilded tray. On the tray was a bowl of lotus seed soup, steaming with fine white vapor, the sweet aroma of rock sugar filling the room.
"It's just warmed up, not hot." Xiao Qiyun closed the door, his footsteps as light as if he were walking on clouds, and went straight to the bedside, placing the tray on the low table by the bed.
Su Zhelan closed the book, shifted further into the bed, and pinched the corner of the page with her fingertips: "I told you there's no need to trouble yourself..."
"The soup is all served. It won't taste good if it gets cold." Xiao Qiyun didn't respond to his words. He just picked up the bowl and stirred it with a spoon. The pinkish-white of the lotus seeds mixed with the amber color of the soup, shimmering under the candlelight.
He sat sideways on the edge of the bed, no more than half a foot away from Su Zhelan. The minty scent mixed with a sweet fragrance emanating from him made it hard for her to breathe.
“I can do it myself.” Su Zhelan reached out to take it, but her wrist was gently pressed down.
He looked up and saw Xiao Qiyun looking at him. Xiao Qiyun's eyes were expressionless, but they carried a gentle quality that could make people compromise even without him saying a word.
"My previous injury has long since healed, I'm always troubling you..."
"Whether your injury has healed or not is different from whether I want to feed you." Xiao Qiyun's voice was low, like the crackling of a candle flame. He didn't let go of her hand, but instead picked up the spoon, scooped up a spoonful of soup and held it to Su Zhelan's mouth, "Open your mouth."
A speck of icing sugar clung to the edge of the spoon, shimmering faintly in the candlelight. Su Zhelan frowned, wanting to look away, but Xiao Qiyun's gaze remained fixed on his face, neither urging nor pressuring, simply watching quietly, as if waiting for him to relent.
After a brief standoff, Su Zhelan finally gave in. She parted her lips slightly, and the warm soup slid down her throat. The lotus seeds were stewed until they were soft and sweet, with just the right amount of sweetness.
"Slow down." Seeing that he was swallowing too quickly, Xiao Qiyun gently touched the corner of his lips with his fingertips, wiping away a little bit of soup.
Su Zhelan's cheeks flushed instantly, and he shrank back, but Xiao Qiyun pressed his shoulder with his other hand, preventing him from moving away.
"Take another spoonful." Xiao Qiyun scooped up another spoonful, this time handing it over even more slowly, his gaze fixed on Su Zhelan's face, as if admiring some rare and precious sight.
The steam from the soup blurred his features; beneath his docile exterior lay a deep-seated, yet ever-present, desire for control that brooked no refusal.
Su Zhelan closed his eyes and finally gave up struggling. He opened his mouth and let Xiao Qiyun feed him spoonful by spoonful, the redness on his ear tips spreading down his neck to where his collar covered.
The candlelight flickered between the two, and the sweet aroma of lotus seed soup concealed Su Zhelan's indescribable panic and Xiao Qiyun's unspoken determination.
The lotus seed soup was almost gone, with only a few small pieces of lotus heart remaining at the bottom of the bowl.
Xiao Qiyun scooped up the last spoonful and paused when he brought it to Su Zhelan's lips. The candlelight flickered in his eyes. He suddenly spoke, his voice carrying a casual smile: "Is it sweet? I added some rock sugar, in case you find it too bitter."
Su Zhelan had just swallowed the soup in her mouth, the sweet taste of lotus seeds still lingering on her tongue, when she was startled by the sudden question. Her eyelashes trembled, and before she could even respond—
"Let me try it."
Before he could finish speaking, Xiao Qiyun suddenly put down the bowl, the porcelain bowl making a soft sound as it hit the low table. He didn't give Su Zhelan a chance to react, pressing down on the back of Su Zhelan's neck with one hand, the force not heavy but with an unyielding strength, forcing him to tilt his head back slightly.
Xiao Qiyun scooped up the last spoonful and paused when he brought it to Su Zhelan's lips. The candlelight flickered in his eyes. He suddenly spoke, his voice carrying a casual smile: "Is it sweet? I added some rock sugar, in case you find it too bitter."
Su Zhelan had just swallowed the soup in her mouth, the sweet taste of lotus seeds still lingering on her tongue, when she was startled by the sudden question. Her eyelashes trembled, and before she could even respond—
"Let me try it."
The candlelight flickered suddenly, casting the shadows of the two approaching figures onto the tent.
Su Zhelan's pupils suddenly contracted, and his whole body stiffened like ice. He instinctively tried to back away, but Xiao Qiyun gently grasped his wrist. A scent carrying the bitter taste of mint wafted over him, domineeringly enveloping him, making it hard to breathe.
Xiao Qiyun's kiss was unlike Sheng Xuan's awkward and reckless one; it carried a sense of effortless control, yet was more direct than ever before—he was savoring not only the sweetness of the lotus seed soup, but also the panicked aura that belonged to Su Zhelan.
"Ugh..." Su Zhelan's struggles grew weaker and weaker. His tongue was numb from being rolled up, and he could only let Xiao Qiyun's breath envelop him, swirling between his lips and teeth, making it impossible for him to even whimper.
Only when Su Zhelan's fingertips began to tremble and his face turned pale did Xiao Qiyun step back slightly, his nose touching Su Zhelan's, his hot breath spraying onto Su Zhelan's face.
He looked at Su Zhelan's swollen lips, licked the corner of his own lips with the tip of his tongue, and the gentleness in his eyes completely disappeared, leaving only a wet darkness, like a whirlpool: "It is quite sweet."
The candlelight illuminated his smiling eyes, but there was no tenderness in that smile, only a triumphant smirk and a hint of stubbornness that said, "See, I can do it too."
Xiao Qiyun released his grip, but didn't pull away an inch. The front of his moon-white robe brushed against Su Zhelan's lips, which were red from being kissed. He suddenly lowered his head, his forehead against Su Zhelan's collarbone, and gently wrapped his arms around Su Zhelan's waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck like a large dog that had been wronged.
"Ze Lan..." His voice was muffled, with a nasal tone as if he had just cried. His fingertips gripped Su Ze Lan's hem and shook it gently. "Am I very boring?"
Su Zhelan's body was still stiff, and the numbness in the back of her neck had not yet subsided. She was caught off guard by this sudden intimacy.
He could feel Xiao Qiyun's breath on his neck, a stark contrast to the predatory kiss from before.
“I can’t be like Sheng Xuan, bringing you fun things every day,” Xiao Qiyun slowly raised her head, her eyelashes glistening with moisture, her eyes wet like a deer dampened by rain. “And I can’t be like him, holding your hand and daring to say I like you. I’m just clumsy and awkward, I can’t even make you smile…”
He gently scratched Su Zhelan's side with his fingertips, his voice lower and lower, sounding so aggrieved that he was about to cry: "But I like you too... I like you."
Su Zhelan's Adam's apple bobbed. She wanted to push him away, but her hand remained suspended in mid-air, unable to fall.
The candlelight flickered between the two, illuminating the grievance in Xiao Qiyun's eyes clearly, but he always felt that behind this gentleness there was something he couldn't understand.
"Could you..." Xiao Qiyun suddenly tightened his arms, pulling Su Zhelan closer to him, his nose brushing against her chin, his voice sweet and pleading, "Don't just look at him, okay? Look at me, I'm better to you than he is to you..."
His eyelashes brushed against Su Zhelan's jawline, tickling her and making her tremble. That deliberately feigned pitifulness, mixed with an undeniable stubbornness, was like a soft thorn, gently piercing Su Zhelan's heart.
Su Zhelan opened her mouth, wanting to say "no," but was rendered speechless by this sudden show of weakness. She could only let the other person hug her, her fingertips stiffening on his back.
Su Zhelan's breathing was still tinged with sobs, her chest heaving violently. She had just escaped the feeling of suffocation when tears began to fall uncontrollably.
He stared at Xiao Qiyun's face, so close to his own, the gentleness in Xiao's eyes completely replaced by a sinister glint. He was so frightened that his whole body went limp, and even his voice trembled: "Your Highness...you can't..."
The word "Your Highness" was like a needle, piercing through Xiao Qiyun's last layer of disguise.
A crimson glint suddenly flashed in his eyes, a lustful fire burning up his spine, making even his reason scorch. "No?" he chuckled, his laughter icy. "When Shengxuan kissed you just now, why didn't you say no?"
Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly stood up and roughly overturned the low table beside the bed. The porcelain bowl shattered on the ground with a crisp sound, startling Su Zhelan, who flinched.
Xiao Qiyun gave Su Zhelan no chance to adjust, straddling the bed and pressing his knees against it, bringing with him a chilling aura.
"Ugh!" Su Zhelan groaned as the sudden weight pressed down on her. Just as she was about to struggle, her wrist was gripped tightly.
Xiao Qiyun's strength was astonishing. With one hand, he pressed Xiao Qiyun's hands above his head, his knuckles clenching until they turned white. With the other hand, he grabbed Xiao Qiyun's chin, forcing him to tilt his head back and meet a pair of eyes burning with obsessive flames.
"Look at me!" Xiao Qiyun's voice was low and hoarse, filled with a tearing ferocity. "Speak! Why can he do it?!"
The candlelight flickered violently, casting his menacing shadow onto the tent.
Su Zhelan's chin was pinched painfully, and her tears fell even more fiercely. Through her blurred vision, she could only see the jealousy and resentment surging in Xiao Qiyun's eyes.
"I was here first..." Xiao Qiyun's voice suddenly trembled, filled with a near-collapse of obsession. His fingertips ground fiercely against Su Zhelan's lips, where the sweetness of the lotus seed soup and his scent still lingered. "From the first day you entered the manor, I was the one who brought you medicine, I was the one who applied the medicine for you every day, I was the one..."
He took a deep breath, venting all the pent-up grievances and anger, almost shouting, "What? He said he liked you, gave you a kiss, and you're already smitten?!"
Su Zhelan's wrists were gripped so tightly they hurt, and her chin was pinched so hard it felt like it was about to break, yet she could only endure this storm of questions.
He opened his mouth, wanting to explain that it wasn't like that, wanting to say that Sheng Xuan was too reckless, but his throat felt blocked, and he could only let out soft sobs, his face covered in tears.
The wind outside suddenly picked up, extinguishing the candlelight and plunging the tent into darkness. Neither of them could see each other's faces clearly—Xiao Qiyun's facade had been completely torn apart, leaving only his madman-like nature and the hysterical cry of "I was here first."
The tent was completely dark, with only a sliver of moonlight filtering in from the window, outlining the intertwined silhouettes of the two figures.
Su Zhelan's tears continued to fall silently. His chin was pinched painfully. He opened his mouth in the darkness, his voice trembling like a candle flickering in the wind, each word carefully chosen:
"Your Highness..." He sniffed first, his voice thick with emotion, "I...I'm very grateful for your care during this time. I'll remember all the kindness you've shown me..."
His wrist was pressed down even tighter, and he could feel Xiao Qiyun's breath on his face, carrying suppressed anger. Su Zhelan bit her lower lip, mustered her courage, and continued, her voice as soft as a mosquito's buzz: "But you...you're still young, sometimes...sometimes you can't distinguish what true liking is, maybe it's just...just a passing fancy..."
He dared not say anything too harsh, so he could only use this roundabout way to deflect the criticism, attributing everything to his "young age," as if this would leave some room for each other. Tears dripped onto the back of Xiao Qiyun's hand, scalding hot, but did not loosen the grip on his chin even slightly.
"Still young?"
In the darkness, Xiao Qiyun's voice suddenly lowered, like a knife chilled to the bone, each word carrying a mocking sneer. He leaned in abruptly, his nose almost touching Su Zhelan's forehead, the anger in his breath nearly overwhelming her: "I'm small? So in your eyes, everything I do is just childish nonsense?"
Su Zhelan shrank back in fear of his imposing manner. Just as she was about to say something to ease the tension, such as "No, Your Highness," her lips were abruptly sealed with his.
This kiss was fiercer than the previous one, filled with anger.
Xiao Qiyun's teeth even bumped into Su Zhelan's lips. The taste of blood mixed with the lingering sweetness of lotus seeds spread. He roughly pried open Su Zhelan's lips with the tip of his tongue, as if punishing her, or as if venting—venting the grievances of being treated as "childish nonsense," venting the unacknowledged obsession.
Su Zhelan's sobs were choked in his throat, his hands struggling futilely above his head, his wrists almost dislocated from being gripped so tightly. The darkness amplified all his senses; he could clearly feel Xiao Qiyun's anger, the despair and madness in that kiss, and could only let the other steal his breath until his consciousness began to drift away.
Xiao Qiyun bit his lip tightly, as if trying to leave an indelible mark, and growled in a muffled voice, "Shut up... don't say another word..."
The wind outside the window swirled fallen leaves against the windowpane, as if providing accompaniment to this out-of-control entanglement. Occasionally, a sliver of moonlight would peek in, illuminating the cold smile on Xiao Qiyun's lips.
"I'm young?" He repeated the word as if he had heard the biggest joke in the world. He suddenly released Su Zhelan's chin and grabbed his collar instead. "Fine, then Brother Zhelan, teach me what true love is?"
The sarcasm in his voice was like a poisoned needle, sending chills down Su Zhelan's spine. Before he could react, he heard a tearing sound—Xiao Qiyun's movements were swift and ruthless. His hand gripping Su Zhelan's undergarment tightened suddenly, tearing the garment open instantly to reveal the delicate white skin on his shoulder, which gleamed with a panicked whiteness in the moonlight.
"Your Highness! What are you doing!" Su Zhelan's voice finally broke into a sob, and her struggles became more violent, leaving red marks on his palm as her wrists were scraped. "Let me go! Let me go now!"
Xiao Qiyun seemed not to hear him, his obsession burning even brighter. He felt angry and aggrieved—why could Sheng Xuan declare ownership with a kiss? Why should his efforts be treated as "childish nonsense"? Since he couldn't explain it, he would prove it in the most direct way!
His hand slid down the torn fabric, its heat radiating, and wherever it touched, goosebumps rose on Su Zhelan's skin.
“Teach me,” Xiao Qiyun’s voice was close to Su Zhelan’s ear, hoarse as if it had been rubbed with sandpaper, with a devastating madness, “teach me with what you call ‘true love’.”
Tears welled up instantly in Su Zhelan's eyes, a mixture of immense fear and despair. He desperately tried to shrink back, but Xiao Qiyun used the shadow cast by his body and arms to trap him firmly between the bed and himself, rendering him unable to move. Moonlight swept across, illuminating his silhouette, which trembled violently with extreme terror.
"No...no..." The plea broke in her throat, leaving only a weak gasp and futile sobs. Tears streamed down her face like broken beads, trickling into her hair, her voice thick with nasal congestion, "Don't...don't do this..."
His struggles were so futile, like a moth caught in a spider's web, all resistance was dissolved by the other party's seemingly gentle but actually irresistible posture.
Xiao Qiyun stopped moving, but the shadow that had trapped Su Zhelan did not dissipate. The storm of obsession surging in his eyes subsided slightly, but settled into a more unsettling kind of control, disguised with a gentle facade.
In the darkness, he lowered his head, his nose brushing against Su Zhelan's neck, his voice suddenly becoming soft and sticky, with a deliberately lowered hoarseness: "Brother Zhelan..."
The word "brother" was uttered softly and gently, like a feather tickling the heart, yet it instantly tensed Su Zhelan's spine. He could feel Xiao Qiyun's breath on his neck, mixed with an unmistakable ambiguity.
“You said I’m too young, that I don’t understand what it means to like someone,” Xiao Qiyun’s fingertips gently twirled Su Zhelan’s loosened collar, the movement slow as if he were playing with it. “Then will you teach me?” He raised his head, his nose brushing against Su Zhelan’s chin, his tone filled with a coquettish indulgence. “Teach me step by step, teach me how to cherish you, teach me… what it means to truly like someone.”
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