Chapter 40 No Need for If
"Hanyu-kun, is the water temperature okay?" Grandpa Sosuke asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
"Very good! Thank you, Grandpa Sosuke," Yuzuru Hanyu replied, reaching into the tub and rubbing his hands. He pressed the shower head against his forehead, rinsing off the foam from his body and head before stepping into the tub. Slowly sitting down, he tilted his head back against the edge of the tub, relaxing comfortably. The aroma of the bath salts subtly soothed his nerves, bringing a long sigh of relief.
The mist of hot air floated on the surface of the blue water. Yuzuru Hanyu sat in the bathtub, feeling the warm water temperature dispel the coldness in his body.
Even though they were covered in a thick blanket on the porch, it still felt a bit cold after a while. He wrapped most of the blanket around Le, but he was worried that she would fall asleep from crying herself to exhaustion. Fortunately, Le calmed down a lot after crying for a while. She sat up from his arms and sniffed stupidly. Her red eyes and red nose made her look confused and dazed, which made people feel pity for her.
He took out a tissue from his trouser pocket, wiped her tears, folded it again, and placed it on her nose. He held the back of her head with one hand and gently pinched her nose with the other. Le obediently blew her nose hard.
Thinking about that well-behaved look now, Yuzuru Hanyu laughed alone in the bathroom.
He should have gone home, but after seeing him sneeze several times in the entrance hall, Keiko's grandmother finally spoke.
"It's too cold outside, and it's snowing now. Hanyu-kun, your foot is still injured, so don't go back out in the cold. How about staying here for the day? I'll go get you a guest room."
"Okay." He answered almost immediately, sat down on the entrance steps, and neatly took off the shoes that he had just taken a long time to put on.
So, now, at Suginohara's house, he experienced the privilege of being a distinguished guest enjoying a fresh bath. Stretching in the tub, then immersing himself in the hot water once more, Hanyu Yuzuru felt a significant sense of relief. He couldn't help but hum a tune, but after only two notes, he heard someone approaching and stopped.
The Suginohara family's bathroom was a traditional, separate wet and dry area. Through the foggy door, a slender figure could be seen. She stood on tiptoe, rummaging through the top cabinet, and then heard the sound of a hairdryer.
Yuzuru Hanyu leaned over the edge of the bathtub, watching her blow-dry her hair in the mirror. Her fingers kept running through her hair, and even her shadow could see her hair flying in the strong, hot air. When the sound stopped, he was about to call out to her, but she quickly packed up her hair dryer and left.
In the guest room, the grandmother was cleaning the room for Yuzuru Hanyu. When Le passed by while wiping his hair, he saw the grandmother bending over and carefully cleaning every corner of the room with a handheld vacuum cleaner. He felt a little sorry and hurriedly went to blow dry his hair and rushed back.
"Grandma, let me do it." Le went over and took the vacuum cleaner from her grandmother's hand, and cleaned the room bit by bit, just like she had just done. However, this room was obviously cleaned on weekdays, and there was not much dust.
"Hey, be more careful. Mr. Hanyu has asthma, right?" Grandma was making the bed while directing Le to finish the vacuuming.
"Grandma, if he knew you were taking care of him like this, he would be so touched that he would cry~"
"I don't know who's crying today." Grandma went over and pinched Le's nose. Her eyes were no longer red, but after all, she had cried so much, her eyelids were slightly swollen, which made Huizi's grandmother feel distressed. "Is this kid from the Hanyu family so special? He lets our little Le cry like this without any scruples?"
"Grandma~"
"Okay, okay, grandma won't say any more. You've been out here alone for a long time, and I understand if you feel a little aggrieved." Grandma patted Le's head and said, "Let's go. Everything is done here. Go back to your room and sleep."
"I'll wait a moment," Le lowered his head and scratched his fingers, "His foot injury hasn't healed yet, and he'll need to re-bandage it later. I'll help him."
Seeing her unnatural and awkward look, Huizi's grandmother suddenly felt that it was a bit redundant for her to clean the guest room. She sighed and said, "You! Go to bed early!" After she said that, she scratched Le's nose and left the guest room.
Le sat on the newly made bed, playing with the bandage in her hand. She really wanted to help him, and he didn't bring any bandages with him. This roll of sports bandage was the one Le always kept in her suitcase.
I must stay here and wait for him.
But why does he take so long to take a bath...
After his shower, Yuzuru Hanyu felt relaxed, though a little thirsty. With a towel draped around his neck, he unceremoniously went to the kitchen, opened a cupboard, pulled out a glass, poured it in, and gulped it down.
"It's most comfortable to drink ice milk after taking a bath."
Grandpa Sosuke's voice suddenly sounded from behind, startling Yuzuru Hanyu so much that he choked on his water and started coughing. Grandpa Sosuke patted him on the back symbolically, then took out a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and handed it to Yuzuru Hanyu.
He suppressed a cough and choked, saying "thank you" as he unscrewed the milk and brought it to his lips. This time, he didn't dare to gulp it down, but only took a sip. The cold milk flowed down his throat, not only relieving his thirst after the bath, but also greatly relieved the discomfort of choking.
"We've watched you grow up. If we had known that Xiaole would bring you back, we would have kept her from going too far. That way, she wouldn't have suffered so much." Grandpa Zongzhu suddenly said seriously, "Let it go this time, but if you dare to make Le cry in the future, Grandpa will be the first one to not forgive you, you know?"
Heard of this sudden warning, Yuzuru Hanyu stood up straight unconsciously and nodded seriously.
"Very good. Grandpa is willing to trust Xiaole's judgment. As the only boyfriend she brought back, don't let Grandpa down." Grandpa Sosuke patted Yuzuru Hanyu's shoulder and turned to leave the kitchen. Yuzuru Hanyu's eyes widened when he didn't see what he said.
On the way back to his room, Yuzuru Hanyu kept chewing on the phrase "the only boyfriend ever brought back home." He even felt like he had such a delightful title hanging over his head. Humming a little tune, he pushed open the door, but the scene before him immediately silenced him.
This simply and neatly decorated Japanese-style room had thick bedding spread out on the tatami mat. Le was sleeping, curled up barefoot on the soft and comfortable bedding, with a roll of sports bandages beside her. It looked like she had fallen asleep while waiting for him.
Yuzuru Hanyu quietly closed the door and turned off the ceiling light, leaving only the table lamp by the bed on. He went over, carefully lifted Le's head and held her in his arms, freeing one hand to lift the quilt and place her inside. He also lifted the other side of the quilt and slipped in. He leaned over, smoothing the hair on her forehead with his fingertips and gently caressing her face. He had noticed her sleepy look when she had finished her shower today, her head wrapped in a towel, and asked him to join her.
I wonder if she's slept well over the past week, or if she still has nightmares. Every time he thinks of her trapped in that nightmare that night in Beijing, Yuzuru Hanyu feels a pang of sadness. If only she hadn't experienced that, if only she could always be that proud swan on stage.
He reached out and pulled her towards him, and Le snuggled into his neck. Her breaths beat against his neck, a gentle rhythm that made Yuzuru Hanyu drift off to sleep with her, his head full of what-ifs.
A knock on the door woke him up, and his mother's voice on the other side made him open his eyes in confusion. What was once the Japanese-style guest room of the Suginohara family had become the room he was familiar with in Toronto, and he was the only one lying on the single bed.
"Are you up yet? You have a performance today, so don't be late." His mother said outside the door and left, leaving Yuzuru Hanyu alone in the room to gather his thoughts.
He looked down at his hands, his head full of question marks.
A show? What show? Was he dreaming?
Perhaps the dream's origins came from the desk calendar, where a ballet ticket lay spread out. It was Romeo and Juliet, and he had a vague idea of who he was about to see. This dream was probably the "what if" he'd been mulling over before bed.
"This Suginohara Raku is your Aunt Feng's daughter." Sitting in the theater, Yumi's mother held up the program brochure and explained to Yuzuru Hanyu sitting next to her, "Every time you go to Finland to compete, we have to trouble Feng. Your Aunt Feng said that this is Xiaole's first time playing the leading role in an A-class competition, and she wanted us to give her flowers on her behalf."
Yuzuru Hanyu held the bouquet his mother had thrust into his arms, quietly listening as she recounted the events of his dream. His calm demeanor perfectly masked his inner excitement. He was about to meet Le, the Le who had never left center stage, the one who had successfully secured the female lead in Group A. Even in his dreams, he longed to see with his own eyes how stunning she would be.
The sounds of the orchestra adjusting their soundtracks gradually died down, along with the creaking noises behind the curtain. As the conductor took the stage, the theater erupted in applause, and the curtain slowly opened, guided by the music.
As if fully understanding Yuzuru Hanyu's wishes, the ballet skipped the opening sequence and went straight to Juliet's appearance. Watching the lively figures on stage, they perfectly captured the innocence and playfulness of young Juliet. Throughout the performance, the musical technique and acting were impeccable and captivating, though Hanyu nearly crushed the flowers in his hand when Juliet leaned in to kiss Romeo during their balcony encounter.
The curtain slowly closed and reopened as Juliet dangled like a broken puppet on the edge of the grave. The hero and heroine took their bows together, joined by the other leading actors. Hanyu Yuzuru, clutching flowers, followed the staff's instructions to present them on stage. Le, still smiling gracefully in character, nodded in greeting, but with such a distant and polite air that he awkwardly withdrew his hand, intending to embrace her.
Le lowered his head and sniffed the bouquet he received, then took out a rose and handed it to Romeo beside him.
This dream, this if, was probably destined to have no place for him. Yuzuru Hanyu pondered this as he silently made his way down the stairs. Before he had even reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard the entire theater erupt in applause, cheers, and even whistles. Curious, he turned around and saw Romeo kneeling on one knee, holding a small red velvet box.
The bouquet of flowers she had just received from Yuzuru Hanyu fell to the ground in Le's surprise. Instead of reaching out to take the ring, she held Romeo's face, nodded and kissed Romeo, who was kneeling on one knee waiting for an answer.
"Can't!!!!"
Yuzuru Hanyu suddenly sat up from his sleep. The people around him were awakened by his movement and rubbed their eyes.
"What's wrong?" She was hugged as soon as she finished speaking. He muttered that it was great, it was all a dream, which made people feel a little bit funny. She raised her hand and patted his back, "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"
Yuzuru Hanyu released Le and, in the morning light streaming in from outside, gazed at her face. The image of her graceful and proud presence on stage in his dream suddenly resurfaced in his mind, and he was unsure how to answer Le's question. Was it a nightmare? But she looked so wonderful in the dream. She had achieved her dream, standing center stage, where she belonged, receiving the audience's flowers and applause. Even though Le in the dream wasn't accompanied by him, she still had a lover who loved her.
"It wasn't a nightmare, it was actually a very good dream." He shook his head and stood up to draw the curtains. The morning after the snow was exceptionally bright, quickly illuminating the entire room. "Le, do you think dreams are actually parallel worlds?"
"Maybe, who knows?" Le said as he stretched and got up as well, then went behind him and hugged his waist. "Why are you saying this suddenly? If you have a nightmare, you can tell me."
"I feel like I've dreamed of a parallel world. I went to see your performance, and you were the principal. It was fantastic." Hanyu turned around and hugged Le back. "It was like an if-in-progress scenario where you'd always been on the ballet stage."
"Do you think that if line is good?"
"Of course!"
"If, I mean, if I had stayed in the United States, we wouldn't have met. Wouldn't that be okay?" Le raised his hand and scratched Hanyu's nose. "We, Hanyu, who never shy away from adversity, actually thought of an if-line for me. Don't underestimate me. Adversity is painful, but only after overcoming it can we see better scenery. Isn't I doing well now?"
He tightened his embrace, holding her closer to him, and tilted his head to kiss her cheek.
"Well, you're right, it's fine now. We're all fine."
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