Chapter 45 N - Old Shadows

The scalding heat penetrated through his skin, causing Chu Beiling's thoughts to become a jumbled mess, and his body to go limp, turning into a soft, gelatinous mass, like the lotus root starch soup sold by an old woman by West Lake.

Chu Beiling felt as if he had died again. Yes, he had died again.

The first time was ten years ago, the second time was six years ago, and now it's the third time.

He actually thought it was pretty good, if this time, he could die in Xing Yu's arms.

Xing Yu was very strong. He put one arm around his shoulder and held his head in place with the other, stuffing a blueberry-flavored gummy into his mouth: "Fanfan, wake up."

He called out to him urgently, "Tell me, are you alright?"

The sweetness of the gummy candy slowly spread in her mouth, and her thoughts gradually returned. Chu Beiling opened her eyes and looked at him: "I, I'm fine."

Xing Yu supported him and helped him sit down on the sofa. Then he turned around and went to the tea table to pour him a glass of milk. He rummaged through the drawer and found a box of butter cookies. He glanced at the date and saw that they were not expired.

They handed it to Chu Beiling together, saying, "Are you too lazy to eat breakfast again?"

Chu Beiling felt a lump in her throat and stared blankly at him, momentarily forgetting what to do.

The feeling was so familiar that he thought he was hallucinating again, even though he had just taken vortioxetine.

Xing Yu glanced at him and placed the milk and butter biscuits on the coffee table in front of Chu Beiling: "Whatever it is, wait until you finish eating."

Chu Beiling had always had a poor appetite and was a picky eater; the medication made his appetite even worse.

As the medication took effect, his stomach churned, and he had no desire to eat.

But this was given to him by Xing Yu.

Despite the discomfort in his stomach, Chu Beiling reached out and touched the butter biscuit, then ate it in small bites, just like a hamster.

She couldn't eat and wanted to prolong the time she spent with Xing Yu.

Even if we do nothing, every extra second is good.

No matter how long you procrastinate, 76 grams of butter cookies will be eaten quickly, just like a train will eventually reach its destination.

He can't drag this out any longer.

Xing Yu looked up at him: "Have you finished eating?"

Chu Beiling nodded, walked in, and just opened his mouth to say the word "you".

Xing Yu preemptively interrupted him, saying, "Director Chu, we can't talk about personal matters. For business matters, please contact the person in charge directly. I have other things to attend to."

Xing Yu acted as if he didn't want to talk to him at all, as if he wanted to see him off.

Chu Beiling's forced smile froze on his face, his whole body seemed to be frozen, and he couldn't utter a single word.

That warmth and familiarity he felt just now was indeed an illusion.

The real Xing Yu, who is cold and distant towards him at 28, is right in front of him.

Chu Beiling's Adam's apple bobbed involuntarily. She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again to look at him. "You really don't want to see me? You won't even say a single unnecessary word to me?"

Xing Yu met his eyes, tried to calm his disordered breathing, and said naturally, "An ex-boyfriend can only be an ex-boyfriend; you can't be ordinary friends with him."

A mocking smile played on his lips, his tone both playful and wistful: "You still expect us to be on good terms, to pretend nothing happened? Impossible!"

Chu Beiling knew that this relationship had ended many years ago, and time had long since reduced it to ruins, making it unrecognizable. It would be difficult for them to go back.

But if it's difficult to go back—

What are Xing Yu's carefully preserved picture album on his bookshelf, his office which looks just like his home in Zhanlongkou, and the extra 6,600 yuan red envelope he gave Ke Jincheng?

Are you suggesting we draw a clear line across the board?!

Xu Tunan blamed him for abandoning his friends and lover and staying comfortably in Singapore.

What he didn't know was that Xing Yu was the one who moved away from Zhalongkou first, the one who blocked him first, and the one who forgot their agreement first.

It was Xing Yu who abandoned him first and forgot everything.

fraud.

Xing Yu is a big liar.

Chu Beiling stared straight at him, as if she wanted to see right through him: "Xu Tunan thinks I abandoned you, why don't you explain to him that it's not like that?"

Xing Yu paused in flipping through the documents, looked up at him, and said, "What's there to explain? Isn't that how it is!"

Chu Beiling stared intently into his eyes, tears welling up in them: "But back then, you clearly promised, we made a deal."

“I did agree,” Xing Yu paused, the words he was about to say becoming extremely difficult, a bitter taste spreading in his mouth: “But Chu Beiling, ten years, what makes you think I will continue to wait for you, wait for you forever.”

“You’re right,” Chu Beiling said, her eyes lowered, her emotions unreadable. “In that case, there’s no point in you keeping your ex-boyfriend’s sketchbook. Now that I’m back, you should return it to its rightful owner.”

Xing Yu unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, leaned back in his chair, and raised an eyebrow slightly: "Is he yours?"

Chu Beiling was amused by his self-righteous appearance: "Could it be yours!"

Xing Yu said, "The picture album is full of me, how can it be yours?"

He twisted the truth, displaying an attitude of being determined not to repay the debt.

This reckless and unruly demeanor reminded me of when Chu Beiling was sixteen or seventeen years old.

Unlike before, he didn't get so angry that he lost his temper and argued back and forth with Xing Yu. Instead, he calmly told him, "This is my drawing, you should return it to me."

"It's even more inappropriate to give it back to you." Xing Yu uttered each word clearly: "Ex-boyfriend."

After a moment of silence, he continued, "Get out of here while I still have a moral compass."

This picture album contains all the little moments he shared with Xing Yu in the past, all of Chu Beiling's beautiful memories.

Since he can't go back, at least his memories and the paintings are still there. Chu Beiling is determined to get the album back no matter what: "What do you want in return?"

Xing Yu didn't respond. After two or three minutes, he got up and walked to the bookshelf before speaking: "Your sketchbook has 241 drawings, spanning from 2012 to 2014. If you want it, you can exchange it for your drawings from the past ten years."

Chu Beiling's pupils contracted slightly, and his heart sank to the bottom: "What do you mean?!"

Xing Yu casually picked up the "Beating Xing Yu" card and waved it around: "This one is from September 1, 2012. There have been 10 September 1sts in the past 10 years, so there will always be one card in one year. The same applies to the others."

Especially someone like Chu Beiling, who spends all his time painting, could exchange all the paintings he has now for the paintings he has made over the past ten years.

A dark cloud, like the sky, clearly settled over Chu Beiling's face.

He glanced at him, couldn't stand it any longer, and fled Xing Yu's office as if escaping.

Chu Beiling stumbled and ran down to the first floor.

He leaned his head against the wall, breathing heavily, his chest heaving rapidly, staring unfocused at the ceiling, the dim light blurring and spreading across his retina.

Chu Beiling raised his hand to look at his hands, which had already lost their calluses, and gave a bitter smile.

The same date for the same date over the past ten years —

How to change it?

He didn't have even half a sheet.

Zhu Qing'an came downstairs and saw him: "What are you doing here? I've been looking for you for ages, and you didn't answer your phone."

"I switched to silent mode during the meeting and forgot to switch it back." Chu Beiling switched her phone back to audio mode.

A conscious Zhu Qing'an's gossipy mouth reappeared: "You just disappeared for so long, you wouldn't have gone to see the old man—"

Chu Beiling didn't give him a chance to continue, and directly changed the subject: "Have you confirmed with them when the second draft and model will be provided?"

Zhu Qing'an reported truthfully: "In half a month."

Chu Beiling nodded. "I'm leaving."

He still needs to go over there to handle matters at the branch office.

Xing Yu, who was chasing after them, missed them just as the two of them got into a ride-hailing car and disappeared into the misty rain.

Xing Yu stood at the front door facing the rain, ignoring the fact that his shirt was soaked, until the warmth on his wrists gradually faded and was covered by coldness before he went back inside.

Since that day when they met in Chumeng, Chu Beiling has been busy building the branch company's team.

He didn't go to the second version of the drawing review half a month later; Zhu Qing'an went alone.

When Zhu Qing'an returned, she made a point of coming up to him and saying, "It's a real pity you didn't go this time. Your ex-lover was there reviewing the manuscript."

Chu Beiling was taken aback by this, then smiled and dismissed it.

Having finished all her recent tasks, Chu Beiling told her assistant in advance on New Year's Eve, December 31st, that she could leave work early to celebrate the New Year.

Around 3 o'clock, the young woman knocked on his office door.

Li Zhiyi said, "President Chu, the MMORPG design proposal has been compiled and sent to your email."

Chu Beiling nodded: "Understood, you can leave now."

Li Zhiyi nodded and said, "Please contact me if you need anything."

Chu Beiling laughed: "Alright, if you're going to have fun, don't think about work. We'll talk about everything when we get back."

No sooner had Li Zhiyi left than Zhu Qing'an stepped into the office: "I read online that there's a New Year's Eve event at the lakeside tonight. Are you going?"

Chu Beiling was taken aback, then waved his hand: "I'm not going."

“Okay.” Zhu Qing’an nodded. “I’ll go by myself.”

In the entire office floor, Chu Beiling was the only one, spending the night in his office until 8 p.m.

After staring at the screen for a long time, Chu Beiling's eyes became dry and sore. He reached out and turned off the computer, pinched the bridge of his nose, and walked to the French windows.

On a huge billboard not far away, various commercial advertisements were playing in turn.

Lakeside!

This is probably the busiest time around Lakeside in77.

Chu Beiling suddenly had a strong urge to have a drink.

He grabbed his coat and headed off, planning to have a drink at the Long-Awaited Reunion Bar, which he had visited recently.

Tonight is New Year's Eve, and the streets are bustling with people. In addition, the weather has been very cooperative recently, with no rain for several days, so even more people are out and about.

Chu Beiling took a ride-hailing car and was stuck in traffic on the elevated highway for more than half an hour. She finally arrived at her destination at almost 10 o'clock.

Unlike the crowded scene outside, the pub was only occupied by a few people sitting in twos and threes. The bartender was not there, and there was only one bartender wiping glasses behind the bar. It was very quiet.

Chu Beiling glanced at the drink menu: "Old Shadows and Fleeting Years, thank you."

The bartender nodded and went to call the bartender.

“The past is gone and cannot be recalled. I suggest you drink Shuanghua and then we can talk about the mellow taste.” Zhou Chensu pushed up his glasses and said with a smile, “Let’s continue the unfinished chapter of our destiny.”

This insightful attitude made Chu Beiling very uncomfortable, especially since they had only met twice. Such a look was truly offensive.

The other person seemed to sense his wariness and boredom, smiled and didn't say anything more, and started mixing him a drink.

Chu Beiling watched Zhou Chensu skillfully shake the glass, adding amber-colored whiskey, then pouring in light gold Cointreau, pouring the whipped egg white foam on top of the liquid, sprinkling a layer of cinnamon powder, garnishing it with orange, and finally placing a straw with a vintage keychain on top.

Once everything was done, Zhou Chensu pushed the wine glass in front of him: "The 'Old Shadows of Bygone Years' you wanted."

Chu Beiling picked up her wine glass.

The wine has a warm, soft luster under the refraction of light, and there are countless pearl-like fragments.

Hazy and dreamlike, just like the blurred light and shadow in my memory.

Chu Beiling swirled the wine glass with one hand, and only after the wine was fully mixed did he take a small sip.

"How is it?" Zhou Chensu asked.

Chu Beiling took another sip and said honestly, "It's not very tasty, but it's a bit addictive."

The whisky has a subtle smoky and oaky flavor, both sour and bitter, but soon the Cointreau citrus notes emerge, followed by a delicate sweetness that spreads across the palate. It's complex yet harmonious, both unpleasant and delicious.

Chu Beiling simply couldn't describe it.

Zhou Chensu laughed: "There's a saying that goes something like this: a person can't have youth and youthful feelings at the same time. At that moment, everything you feel is bitter and painful, but when you look back, you only remember the beautiful side. Human memory is the most deceptive thing."

Chu Beiling neither confirmed nor denied, only saying, "Perhaps so, but for me, that year was the best."

Zhou Chensu bluntly stated, "But you can't go back."

“Yes, I know, we can’t go back.” Chu Beiling raised her right eyebrow, somewhat curious: “Boss Zhou is so rude to everyone…”

Zhou Chensu curled the corners of his lips: "I've said it before, I don't treat everyone like this."

Chu Beiling is no longer the same as she was back then. She doesn't know this group inside and out, but at least she doesn't think it's abnormal.

Over the years, he has been able to clearly distinguish those who are like him. Chu Beiling cannot accept these people; they are too crazy. They meet, have a drink, and if they hit it off, they can go to a hotel together.

Even without Xing Yu, these things clearly contradict his understanding.

Chu Beiling was about to refuse when he realized he had someone he liked and was only there to drink.

Zhou Chensu saw through his thoughts again and waved his hand with a smile: "Don't look at me like that. You are very good-looking, but that's because I think you look like someone I used to know. I have someone I like."

He glanced at the tavern and said, "Otherwise, what kind of person do you think would open a tavern like this?"

Because of his frankness, Chu Beiling immediately relaxed and chuckled, "That's true."

No one would open a tavern like this without a story to tell.

While they were chatting, Chu Beiling's wine glass was empty, and Zhou Chensu suggested that he have another glass of Frostflower to continue their conversation.

He said earnestly, "The past cannot be relived; you can only continue the unfinished chapter of your destiny."

Chu Beiling refused.

Zhou Chensu raised an eyebrow, somewhat curious: "Why?"

His best-selling wine is "Shuanghua Zaixu Chun," and everyone who comes here hopes to rekindle their past romance. Very few people would not choose it after hearing the meaning behind it.

Because of Zhou Chensu's composure, and because the person in front of him was a stranger, it wouldn't hurt to say a few words. In addition, he had drunk a glass of strong liquor, which made his thoughts a little confused.

Chu Beiling added, "The past cannot be traced back. I have a new life now, so there's no need for it."

Moreover, Xing Yu probably wouldn't want to see him either.

Zhou Chensu mixed him another cup of "Old Shadows and Fleeting Years" and raised his chin: "Do you know that person behind you? I'm watching you for a while."

Chu Beiling suddenly turned around.

Xing Yu stood under the dim light, backlit, making it difficult to discern his emotions.