42 Chapter Forty-Two

◎ Sliced ​​to pieces, inch by inch, leaving trails of blood. ◎

Chapter Forty-Two

Liu Qingqing was stunned, thinking she had misheard.

The next moment, Liu Xu's cheerful but hypocritical laughter was heard. "What Lord Xie said is correct. Qingying has been clever since childhood. Even as a father, I cannot be biased, but I have to admit this."

"...Lord Xie, is that so?"

She suddenly hugged her knees and buried her head in them. She opened her lips and took a soft breath. She heard Xie Lang give a low "hmm."

"Lord Liu is absolutely right."

he……

Did you agree?

The familiar voice was like a flying knife, cutting her inch by inch, leaving her bleeding profusely.

Liu Qingqing felt a lump in her throat, unable to breathe. A thunderbolt struck her head, her mind buzzing. She couldn't hear what they were saying after her. Only his words echoed repeatedly in her ears—"Inferior to Qingying."

Inferior to Qingying.

She could hardly breathe. She leaned back against the cold wall, looking up at the dense, dark clouds overhead, half her body numb. She raised her hand to cover her chest, as if that wasn't enough, her fingertips clenching tightly into her tender heart.

A sharp pain struck, and she shuddered in agony, only then realizing she was still alive. She finally exhaled the breath that had been stuck in her throat, and felt a little better. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

A gust of wind made her shiver. She looked down and saw water droplets falling. She realized that her clothes were already soaked with tears.

Inferior to Qingying.

Every time I think of those four words, it feels like a needle pricking my heart.

She accepted that her father and brothers were biased, her stepmother was unkind, and her family ties were weak.

At least her chances of finding a partner are decent. With Xie Lang, at least she's not the one who's disliked; Xie Lang chose her. Her paradise is right beside him.

The name "Qingying" was inferior to hers, cruelly and directly shattering her illusions.

Even Xie Lang... prefers Liu Qingying.

Her whole body trembled uncontrollably.

No wonder he hasn't been replying lately and doesn't seem to care about her. Is it because after Liu Qingying entered the household, he, like them, started to think she was better?

The cold treatment she had endured at the Liu family mansion over the past decade or so, she watched as if she were invisible as the intimate scenes of the family of four, oblivious to everyone else, flashed before her eyes.

They seemed to treat her like a filthy, smelly rat that never saw the light of day. Whenever they saw her, they felt no disgust and just passed by indifferently.

The initial accusation was, "You're the older sister, so naturally you should give way to your younger sister. How can you be so petty and vindictive?"

Later on, the response was, "People are all made of flesh and blood. Qingying is better than you, so everyone likes Qingying more. You can't blame others for not liking you, can you?"

"If one person dislikes you, that's fine, but if everyone dislikes you, why do you think that would be?"

"Don't try to compare yourself to a swan, you're not even as good as Qingying's toes."

While she was taking a bath, Liu Qingying burst through the window, startling her and causing her to feel feverish. Instead, they made her apologize to Liu Qingying because her shouting had frightened her younger sister.

Liu Qingying flipped through her books and tore them. She cried and was slapped by Liu Xu. Liu Xu scolded him for being petty, always framing his sister to compete for favor, and for his low character.

Life in the Marquis's mansion was peaceful and warm. She thought she had forgotten everything, but those words, etched into her flesh and stained with blood, resurfaced with sharp edges, cutting her again and again.

She hugged herself tightly.

Liu Qingying was like a curse, awakening her past filled with unbearable pain.

She thought Xie Lang was different.

She thought Xie Lang was at least different!

Does Xie Lang think so too?

Is he just cunning and good at disguising himself?

Liu Qingqing looked down at her trembling fingers, then suddenly smiled, tears streaming down her face.

He was acting crazy, clutching his chest, laughing and crying silently with trembling hands.

She is a cloud in the sky, a duckweed on the water.

All she wanted was to be loved.

But no one loved her.

Nobody loves her...

Is there any Shangri-La in this world? Or is it that... no one puts her first, and she truly doesn't deserve it?

Liu Qingqing had no idea what they talked about or when they left. Their words kept echoing in her mind.

Suddenly, a torrential downpour began.

Liu Qingqing tilted her head back and let the rain pour down on her face, her warm tears disappearing into the cold rain.

For some reason, it sounded like another female voice. It seemed somewhat familiar; who was it?

Her moist eyelashes fluttered.

Oh, it's Xie Wanyan.

Her mind seemed frozen. Why did Xie Wanyan suddenly appear?

Did they just come by? She hadn't heard a sound.

"Wei Mingzhao said you're going to divorce Qingqing in three years?"

Xie Wanyan's furious scolding came from the window, making Liu Qingqing's shoulders tremble.

Perhaps because of the heavy rain, Xie Wanyan thought no one would come over and didn't shut up at all. "I know you didn't want to marry her in the first place, but now that you're married, how can you do such a heartless thing?! What's wrong with Qingqing? Where can she go after leaving the Marquis's mansion?"

Having been struck repeatedly, Liu Qingqing felt as if her soul was no longer her own. She held her breath and forgot to do anything else.

She prayed blankly in her heart, but didn't know what she was praying for.

After a long pause, she heard Xie Lang's still aloof and indifferent voice, "How do you know she has nowhere to go?"

Liu Qingqing froze completely, her heart turning to ice. Her arm hung limply, falling into the cold puddle.

She looked up at the rain that was relentlessly pelting her.

Already not fully recovered, she felt the autumn rain was truly cold.

...

Long after Xie Lang left, she finally moved her stiff and numb body.

She tried to get up, but fell to the ground due to numbness in her body. She simply lay on her side, curled up, and hugged herself.

With her cheek pressed against the cold stone bricks, she slowly closed her eyes. Tears slid down her cheeks.

It was a marriage she had insisted on, one she was unworthy of. It would be better to leave Liu Qingying behind; it turns out he never intended to grow old with her, and had even meticulously planned the day he would abandon her.

Three years later…

She was in so much pain that she could barely breathe, her mouth agape. So, in Xie Lang's heart, she only deserved to stay by his side for three years… She had thought that after enduring so much hardship, she finally had a home…

Have a home now?

With tears welling in her eyes, she smiled wistfully, and tears fell.

The sun was setting, and night was falling.

The rain gradually subsided, falling steadily to the ground with a pattering sound.

But she didn't know where she went.

This is a cold and impersonal mansion. Even the Jialan Garden is not her home. Where can she go?

In his chaotic mind, there was only one thought—he must not let anyone see him.

She knew she held no weight in Xie Lang's heart. If others saw this, Xie Lang would certainly not protect her, and she might even lose her life.

Avoiding people, she staggered to the bamboo grove outside her second uncle's courtyard and walked deep into the grove.

She knelt on the damp, muddy ground, feeling a chill that pierced her to the bone. This chill, however, brought her some relief. She covered her face with her hands, the backs of her hands pressed against the ground, opened her mouth, and cried silently, pathetically.

She felt utterly hopeless, even worse off than Zhao Pansheng, and she didn't even dare to cry out loud.

She didn't know how much time had passed when the rain stopped, and she had no more tears to shed.

She leaned against the smooth, sturdy green bamboo, lost in thought, seemingly oblivious to what she was thinking.

The soaked dress stopped dripping water.

For the first time, she was alone in the Marquis's mansion at night. In the distance, servants bustled about, bamboo leaves rustling overhead. Looking up, she saw twinkling stars and a silver moon like a knife. All this bustling noise, power, and prosperity felt irrelevant to her.

She could hear her own rapid breathing and her pounding heartbeat.

The hustle and bustle belong to others; loneliness and coldness are her world.

It felt as if I had suddenly returned to the days at the Liu residence.

Back then, she would sit in that square courtyard, gazing at the sky, feeling utterly bored.

This is so boring...

Her short life, filled with dislike and being seen as a burden, was utterly meaningless.

A few moments later.

"Miss, Miss..."

Hearing someone calling her anxiously, she moved her eyes and looked in the direction of the voice. Several people carrying lanterns were walking outside the bamboo forest, but they did not answer.

If she were to suddenly fall ill and pass away here, wouldn't it be a blessing for her, and for them, if she didn't burden them?

Thinking this, Liu Qingqing felt she had no strength left to call for help, unable and unwilling to get up, so she gently closed her eyes. Her dry eyes could no longer shed hot tears.

Whether we can find it or not is entirely up to fate.

She was exhausted and her spirits were low.

Outside the bamboo grove.

The four women, including Granny Li and Zhao Pansheng, were extremely anxious. When their young mistress still hadn't returned by dinner time, Granny Li sensed something was wrong. Granny Li had spent the most time with the young mistress and knew her temperament best. Although she appeared dignified and elegant, she still harbored a childlike heart.

Besides reading storybooks, the young lady also enjoys eating.

They are not picky eaters, do not waste food, and cherish food the most. They can even enjoy a bowl of vegetable soup.

How could you not return without even a word?

Granny Li's heart skipped a beat; she had a bad feeling.

She took three other women who were considered the young lady's confidants and went out to search for someone without telling the others at Jialan Garden.

Last time, the young lady went for a stroll in the garden and returned home feeling hot. Granny Li always felt that the young lady might be here. But Granny Li was getting old, and her heart was much softer than when she was young. Even though she was strong and calm, her hands holding the lantern couldn't stop trembling.

The four men split into four groups.

Qingju followed behind Granny Li, carefully protecting the food box and cloak in her arms, which contained ginger soup that Granny Li had just cooked. The young lady was most afraid of the cold. Qingju looked around; the sky was gloomy, and the surrounding air was filled with cool, damp air. She couldn't help but frown. She had to find the young lady soon and quickly give her the ginger soup to ward off the chill; she couldn't wait a moment longer.

Zhao Pansheng and Lin Mei followed behind. Lin Mei was meticulous, carefully examining each blue brick on the ground and considering the possible routes they had taken. Lin Mei had a sharp nose, but unfortunately, the heavy rain earlier had completely erased the young lady's scent.

Zhao Pansheng was bold; as soon as he entered the garden, he headed straight for the bamboo grove.

Qingju quickly grabbed Zhao Pansheng: "Are we going to the bamboo forest? There's a female ghost there!"

The servants of the Marquis's mansion all knew that a female ghost in white lived there, who often appeared in the garden at dawn and dusk. One servant had encountered her and was so frightened that he wet himself, went home, burned himself for several days, and talked incoherently for a long time.

Zhao Pansheng was anxious and shoved Qingju's hand away, "At a time like this, what are you afraid of? If Miss is really trapped by a female ghost, shouldn't we go and snatch her back?"

Upon hearing this, Qingju nodded emphatically. Although she was scared, she mustered her courage and followed closely behind Zhao Pansheng.

The bamboo forest was dark, and the damp soil was muddy. With each step, my cloth shoes sank in and were immediately soaked, my heels sucking into the mud.

Zhao Pansheng carried the lantern and walked ahead, her steps quick as if on flat ground, and Qingju hurried to catch up with her.

They had barely entered the bamboo grove when it felt like there was a barrier between them and the outside world. The bamboo leaves rustled, and the wind howled like ghosts. Qingju looked back, and just then, a cold raindrop slipped into the back of her neck, making her shiver and almost cry out.

"Miss!"

But then he heard Zhao Pansheng call out in a low voice. Qingju immediately forgot about the female ghost and hurriedly ran after Zhao Pansheng.

Staggering and gritting her teeth, she chased after him, barely stopping beside Zhao Pansheng. After looking over Zhao Pansheng's shoulder and seeing clearly, Qingju was shocked. Without saying a word, she stuffed the cloak and food box into Zhao Pansheng's arms, then pounced forward, sat on the ground, and hugged her young lady tightly.

Zhao Pansheng also took two steps forward, hugged the cloak, and squatted down with the lantern.

As the firelight drew closer, the two could finally see the young lady's pale, almost transparent face, her red and swollen eyes, and her soaked dress clinging to her body, outlining her exquisite figure.

Zhao Pansheng and Qingju exchanged a glance, showing remarkable understanding. As soon as Zhao Pansheng reached out to take the food box, Qingju took it from him, disregarding any dirt or grime, and immediately placed it beside her before taking out the ginger soup.

As Qingju did this, Zhao Pansheng carefully tucked the young lady into the cloak. When Qingju turned back with the ginger soup, Zhao Pansheng helped the young lady up. Their eyes met, and Zhao Pansheng nodded to Qingju. Qingju, with red eyes, coaxed the young lady in a trembling voice, "Miss, drink some ginger soup, don't catch a cold."

The young lady's lips were almost bloodless.

No matter how she tried to coax the young lady, she wouldn't open her mouth. She slumped down, completely devoid of any life, which made Qingju so anxious that tears welled up in her eyes.

Ignoring everything else, Zhao Pansheng used brute force to press down on the young lady's chin. Qingju saw that Zhao Pansheng had pressed marks onto the young lady's face and hurriedly tried to stop him.

Zhao Pansheng said gruffly, "At a time like this, who cares about these things! Don't you know that a cold can be fatal!"

Upon hearing this, Qingju was stunned for a moment. While crying, she imitated Zhao Pansheng and, although she spilled some, she managed to get most of the ginger soup down her throat.

Liu Qingqing coughed a few times from the spiciness, but it was still better than the icy cold she had just experienced. They finally breathed a sigh of relief.

The two men tried to help the young lady up, but she had already fainted and had no strength left, so she just kept falling. The wet ground made it difficult for them to put any effort into her.

Just then, Granny Li and Lin Mei also sensed something was amiss and trudged into the bamboo forest.

Lin Mei was strong; after just one glance, she squatted down and turned to signal them to put the young lady on her back.

“I know where to avoid people, you all hurry back and boil water.”

After saying that, he got up to leave.

Zhao Pansheng quickly followed and held down the cloak for the young lady, then turned back and nodded to Granny Li, "I'll go with Aunt Lin."

Li Mama responded and quickly took Qingju back to the small kitchen in the courtyard to boil water, while telling the other servants to go back and rest.

Fortunately, as the weather gets cooler, the small kitchen always provides the young lady with some warm water.

Even though Granny Li and Qingju were fast, they were still slower than Lin Mei. By the time the first pot of water was ready, Lin Mei had already settled the young lady in the wooden tub and was burning silver charcoal.

But charcoal fires burn slowly, unlike the warmth that fills a small kitchen.

Zhao Pansheng immediately said, "Take the bath tub to the small kitchen!"

Granny Li's eyes lit up, and the group immediately took action.

Only when the young lady was finally soaking in the warm water and her body and cheeks felt warm to the touch did Granny Li breathe a sigh of relief and finally have time to think about other things.

A cold can be fatal.

Knowing where the young lady had put the medicine, Granny Li quickly took out the pills. She took one, but when she looked back at the young lady's bloodless lips, she poured out four more.

Back in the small kitchen, I secretly fed them the medicine when they weren't looking.

Just as I was busy working, the courtyard gate suddenly rang.

The group of people tensed up and looked at each other.

Could it be that the adults have returned?

But the adults haven't returned to their main room for several days.

Why did they suddenly return now? This is tantamount to murder!

Miss must have encountered some trouble today, but she is unconscious and we don't know what happened. What should we do?

Just as Granny Li was about to go, Zhao Pansheng stopped her, saying, "Granny, I'll go instead. If you go, it will only make people think more."

That makes sense. Miss has always been kind to Granny Li and usually doesn't let her serve her at night. It's the younger girls who stand guard outside. If Granny Li suddenly appears, it might make people think too much.

Zhao Pansheng clenched his fingers, his hand resting on the door without moving, but first asked, "May I ask who comes here?"

A deep, questioning voice came from outside the door: "Miss Zhao, it's me. Why are you here so early tonight?"

Zhao Pansheng's eyes darted around: "Since the master hasn't been home lately, I've been arriving earlier. Also, Miss isn't feeling well today and has gone to bed early. Brother Xie, is there anything you need me to do?"

Xie Wu was greatly alarmed and, disregarding what was happening ahead, hurriedly asked, "Where is Madam unwell? May we summon the royal physician?"

Zhao Pansheng: "Perhaps the sudden rain today caused Madam to catch a chill. Madam is already asleep. If there is anything else, I will go and find Brother Xie Wu. If there is anything else, should we wake Madam up?"

Xie Wu hurriedly said no need, "My lord sent me to inform my wife that there is an urgent matter tonight and I cannot return."

Through the heavy wooden door, Zhao Pansheng's eyes revealed a mocking look. What urgent matter could have kept him away from home for several days?

"I understand. I will inform you tomorrow, Miss."

Xie Wu: "I will be on night duty in the outer study tonight. If you need anything, Miss Zhao, please go there to find me."

Zhao Pansheng: "I understand, thank you, Brother Xie Wu."

After sending the man away, Zhao Pansheng hurried back to the small kitchen.

After all that fuss, the young lady's previously pale face finally regained some color.

"I'm afraid the young lady will catch a cold and develop a fever, so she shouldn't soak for too long."

After soaking for a while, Granny Li instructed them to carefully lift the young lady out of the water and carry her back to the main room, tucking her into the quilt.

Silver-thread charcoal had been lit in the main room, dispelling the chill.

Four people stood guard in the main room, watching intently.

Soon the young lady's hands cooled down again, and she went back to work. Later that night, the thing everyone dreaded most happened—the young lady developed a fever.

Granny Li was extremely anxious: "What should we do! We must find the family physician to come and take a look!"

On the other end.

Outside the study, Xie Wu glanced at the moonlight and paced anxiously, wondering how his wife was doing.

Looking back at the closed study door and the shadow cast by the candlelight, Xie Wu shook his head and sighed.

Although you've been busy lately, you're not so busy that you can't go back to your room.

What's wrong, sir and madam?

They were so affectionate before, but suddenly they've become awkward, as if neither of them is willing to back down.

The adults just came back from the tunnel; I wonder if they're done with their work.

Did he inform the adults beforehand?

What could be causing you such anxiety?

A helpless, hoarse voice came from inside the door, "Come in and let's talk."

Xie Wu finally accepted the order, quickly pushed open the study door, then closed it again, "My lord..."

Having been in a bad mood lately and not getting enough rest for several days, Xie Lang was pressing his brow with his fingertips when he heard what Xie Wu said and stopped.

Jialan Garden.

The main family members disagreed on whether to summon the imperial physician overnight.

Contrary to her usual behavior, Granny Li sat silently by the couch, wiping her mistress's forehead and palms with a damp cloth.

Zhao Pansheng insisted on summoning the servants immediately, saying, "This cold is not to be taken lightly; what if we delay?"

Qingju, however, worriedly said, "But just now, Miss was in the bamboo forest..."

She couldn't say it outright, not knowing what had happened to her young mistress! But everyone could see her swollen eyes from crying. If it were an ordinary situation, she could always find a way to cover it up. But if it was something unusual, was she supposed to kill the family physician to settle the matter?

A woman's reputation can cost her her life!

Lin Mei remained silent, keeping her head down and bustling back and forth between the small kitchen and the main room, changing the warm water.

Just as Zhao Pansheng and Qingju were locked in a standoff, there was a gentle knock on the courtyard gate.

The group exchanged glances, their expressions solemn.

Zhao Pansheng hurriedly went out, but before she could speak, she heard Xie Wu from the other side of the door say in a low voice, "Miss Zhao, it's me. I've brought the family physician with me. Would you like to see him?"

Zhao Pansheng: "Did the lord send the physician from the palace?"

Xie Wu lowered his eyes: "My lord has not yet returned to the manor and is unaware that my wife is ill."

That means Xie Wu acted on his own initiative.

After thinking it over, Zhao Pansheng pushed aside the green orange that was blocking her way, gritting her teeth.

At this point, what's the point of being formalities? Saving our lives is the most important thing! We'll talk about the rest later!

He pulled open the bolt.

With a creak, the wooden door opened. Qingju's expression shifted, and she eventually retreated to Zhao Pansheng's side.

Zhao Pansheng stepped forward, blocking most of Qingju's path, and turned back to whisper, "Sister Qingju, why don't you go check out the small kitchen first?"

Qingju bit her lip, lowered her eyes to hide the unease in them, and finally did as Zhao Pansheng said.

She can't act; it would be bad if someone noticed even the slightest clue.

I hid behind the small kitchen window, my heart pounding.

Zhao Pansheng was the same; even when her heart was pounding in her throat, she was adept at feigning it. Others simply assumed she was anxious and worried.

The physician took his pulse through the bed curtains and found nothing serious. "He was overwhelmed by anger and carelessness, which led to the invasion of pathogenic wind. He will recover after a few days of medicine. In the future, he needs to keep his mind calm and avoid overthinking."

"Use the medicine first. If the fever doesn't subside after two hours, then you're getting better."

After saying that, he went out to get the prescription and medicine without lingering for a moment.

It's impossible for a physician in his fifties not to notice anything amiss, but even the masters in the previous dynasty would have the imperial physicians prescribe calming soups for the princes and princesses for the sake of peace. The affairs of the nobility are far more complex than that; how dare you question them?

Everyone stared at the physician, and seeing his confident words, they all felt relieved.

Especially Xie Wu.

Upon entering the courtyard, he keenly sensed the somber atmosphere within.

He couldn't do anything about the affairs between his masters, but at least he could prevent his wife from suffering from illness.

Not long after taking the medicine, Liu Qingqing's fever subsided.

Zhao Pansheng and Qingju stayed with their young mistress, urging Li Mama to return to her room to rest. Li Mama, however, refused, leaning against the chaise longue outside and dozing off for a moment.

The young lady developed a fever again in the middle of the night, and the men wiped her down with handkerchiefs.

They finally managed to get through the night and their fevers completely subsided, at which point they all breathed a sigh of relief.

As dawn approached, there were still many things to do at Jialan Garden. Since the young lady had fallen ill, they couldn't all stay in the room to watch over her. Taking advantage of the fact that the young lady's fever had subsided and she was sleeping soundly, they withdrew and took turns caring for her, one person at a time, for an hour at a time.

Granny Li was old and frail, so Zhao Pansheng and Qingju told her to go and rest first.

"With us here, Granny can rest assured. She can come and relieve us in three hours."

Granny Li was exhausted after staying up all night, her head was buzzing and throbbing. She couldn't help but pound her head and sigh, "She's only been living a few good months with Miss, how come she's already so delicate? It turns out that she can go two days without sleep without any problem."

Zhao Pansheng: "What you say is true, Granny. Go and rest. You can rest assured that we're here."

After Granny Li left, Qingju went to the small kitchen. Qingju was good at cooking, and if the young lady was hungry, she would definitely want to eat noodles. The young lady also needed to nourish her body, so she first cooked the soup base.

After everyone left, the main room fell silent. Zhao Pansheng returned to the bedside and tested the young lady's forehead again. Seeing that it was no longer hot, she hesitated for a moment before following them out, turning back to close the door tightly. Zhao Pansheng stood with her back to the courtyard, her eyes lowered, for a long while before turning around and instructing the maids in the courtyard to hurry up and get to work, not allowing them to slack off in the slightest.

Yesterday's rain blew down so many leaves, and the flowers and plants are all bent over; they need to be cleaned up.

The sound of a broom sweeping across the stone slabs outside the window echoed. Liu Qingqing slowly opened her eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling, tears streaming down her face.

[Author's Note]

My heart aches for my daughter, my precious little sister!

Next chapter preview: After the divorce, Xie Lang will definitely not cherish her anymore.