Chapter 57

We strolled around the campus for a while.

After strolling along the path, I watched them run from the stadium seats. I rested my chin on my hand, thinking that this was the sport I hated the most but was assigned to the most.

Only after I finished speaking did I realize that Kurapika probably didn't know that I would be training at the Zoldyck family's house during the holidays.

Fortunately, running is a widespread and common sport. Although he didn't glean much more information from it, he was still able to continue the conversation by saying to me:

“I also find it troublesome… It might sound unbelievable, but when I took the Hunter Exam, the first test was a running race, an endurance test.”

I casually asked, "I heard that the pass rate for the Hunter Exam is very low... often there isn't a single qualified candidate for several years."

Kurapika nodded: "Not only that, but there is also the possibility of life-threatening danger at any time during the exam."

“What’s so special about an industry that you’d risk your life for?” I blinked and asked. “You know what Killua’s family does, right? Even in their line of work, when faced with danger, they would prioritize saving their own lives.”

“Everyone has their own reasons,” he replied.

"Then what is your reason?" I asked again.

He didn't speak.

After the stadium, we sneaked into the teaching building and wandered around the corridor on one of the floors.

More often than not, he just follows me around. So when I walk around the corridor and then quickly come out, he also does the same meaningless thing.

"Aren't you going in to take a look?" he asked me as we were taking the elevator downstairs and preparing to leave the teaching building.

“Fake things won’t become real,” I said indifferently. “I’m just here to see what kind of lives they lead… and that’s all I can do.”

There's no point in going in for a visit; it might even disrupt the normal campus order.

The elevator has arrived.

I strode in, turned around, and saw long golden hair sweep across my eyes.

"To be honest, I'm not really into following rules and regulations," I said to Kurapika behind me. "For a while, I made a mess of the school... Ah, all of us young masters and ladies from shady families actually went to pretty much the same schools. In first grade, I tried to instigate the brothers from my classmate's family to fight. Later, I even stirred up older boys to cause trouble everywhere. When my family found out, I was sent to a boarding all-girls school deep in the mountains."

"So it's completely understandable that my mother grounded me during college. After all, I had not only made a terrible mistake, but I also had a long criminal record. ... When she was watching me, I behaved myself, but as soon as her gaze shifted away and she felt relieved enough to leave me alone for the time being, I would definitely make her suffer."

The floor number displayed on the elevator screen kept decreasing.

“But,” I changed my tone, “there’s really no point in fighting with her like this…”

I just can't help wanting to destroy something to fill the emptiness in my heart.

“Watching them listen to the lecture in the hallway didn’t seem very interesting… If I had gone to school at that time, I would have done something terrible to relieve the boredom.”

Thinking about it this way, not being able to study on campus might not be such a bad thing. At least it preserves some of my fantasies about things I haven't experienced yet.

The elevator doors opened.

I realized that the sentences I casually uttered were like my terrible life memories—broken, abstract, and difficult to decipher.

I tucked the stray strands of hair behind my ear and exhaled.

"I suddenly shared some random thoughts... Please forgive me, I can be a little strange sometimes."

“It’s okay.” He followed me out of the elevator, then glanced back at the high-rise building behind us, as if lingering over the classroom scene he had just witnessed. His tone was soft. “Although I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, you’re right.”

“…the fake won’t become the real,” he repeated my words, “that’s their world.”

It's not ours.

We left the campus together.

When I came out, it was already dark. My first day of sightseeing hadn't even started before it was declared a complete failure, deviating entirely from the planned route.

I couldn't help but feel resentful:

"I hadn't planned to go inside."

I don't know how I ended up going.

Afterwards, I inexplicably felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my heart.

It's strange, isn't it? Things that I couldn't let go of in the past, I don't care about now.

"But it was still something worthwhile." Saying this, I asked Kurapika, "...Speaking of which, you look about my age, did you go to university?"

“I’m a militant,” he said without batting an eye.

"Oh," I said instantly, "no wonder you were so cooperative earlier. You haven't been to school much, have you?"

“…For me, this is unnecessary,” Kurapika said.

I laughed: "Do you always have to be so subtle when you speak? I was just asking casually!"

...

After that, we found another place to sit down and eat. The restaurant window was adorned with ice-blue flowers, just like those along the campus paths. While waiting for our food, I looked at the flowers and asked:

Do you know what this flower is called?

He said he knew, and then named the flower.

"Huh, how do you know?" I was even more puzzled. "This flower is very rare!"

Kurapika said, "The driver mentioned on the way that this is the city flower."

Me: "Oh, okay."

He stopped talking and sat quietly, while I continued to gaze at the flowers, and suddenly made a new discovery.

"So it doesn't grow on big trees!" I said to Kurapika. "I just realized it's a vine that twines around the branches."

Kurapika's tone was somewhat helpless: "The driver already said that... I thought you heard him."

I smiled and frankly admitted, "No, I'm the type who can't listen to what others are saying."

“You really enjoy making negative self-assessments,” he pointed out.

“I’m used to it,” I said. “Once I open my mouth, I have to say something unpleasant, either belittling others or belittling myself, otherwise I feel uncomfortable.”

This is a terrible habit, and it's probably because of this habit that I don't have many close friends... no, to be precise, I don't have any at all.

Most people feel uncomfortable around me because I'm extremely aggressive.

Except for perverts and lunatics.

What I said left no room for anyone to elaborate; if there was any, it would probably just be giving the other side an opportunity to attack me.

Kurapika thought for a moment, but didn't give such an aggressive reply. Instead, he simply suggested:

"When you really don't know what to say, it's best not to speak. ... That's my personal opinion."

"Is this why you were so quiet and cold towards me at first?" I asked, staring into his dark eyes.

Kurapika: "..."

He stopped talking.

I got excited and continued, "Even now, if you really don't know what to say, do you just pretend to have a cold, unresponsive expression that doesn't want to talk to me?"

Under my intense gaze, he finally spoke after a long while.

"...Your thirst for knowledge always seems to manifest in strange ways," Kurapika said.

“Not surprising, this is very important to me.” I continued to stare at him intently. “A complete block of ice and a cold exterior with a warm heart are two completely different things!”

“Anyway, we’ll go our separate ways later,” he said, changing the subject and turning his gaze to the ice-blue petals slowly drifting down outside the window. “In that case, there’s no need to ask so many questions now.”

"Even if we break up, that's a matter for later," I insisted. "The possibility of us breaking up doesn't conflict with wanting to know what kind of person you are. What are you avoiding?"

He blinked, and I stared at him intently for a long time before suddenly noticing something strange about his eyes.

The waiter brought out the main course, and I held the fork in my hand, turning it slightly twice.

……color.

When he turned his gaze to the window, the edge of his pupils looked slightly off.

But he had already stated that he wasn't the type to put a lot of effort into his appearance.

The Phantom Troupe, an auction, enemies, the underworld. Rumors circulating in the underworld…

"Ah," I concluded, "is that so..."

"What?" He was completely unaware of my guess and looked up from his dinner in confusion.

I held my fork, my gaze casually drifting between his eyes.

“I know who you are now.” Then I announced, “No wonder… I’ve been trying to figure out what grudge you have against the Phantom Troupe, and now I understand.”

He frowned, his expression shifting and unpredictable.

I lowered my voice and asked:

"You must be a descendant of that legendary ethnic group associated with the seven beauties, right?"

"...Have you heard anyone mention this?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"How was that discovered?" he then asked.

I pointed to my eyes.

"The marks are a bit obvious." Then I subtly implied, "They don't look like contact lenses, and considering the chase between you and the troupe... I guessed it."

He looked enlightened, and his shoulders, which had been tense when I exposed his identity, gradually relaxed.

“I see,” he said calmly.

He then continued eating.

"That's it?" I asked, my eyes widening again. "After hearing all that, don't you have anything to say to me?"

“…Miss Lei.” A few seconds later, he stopped what he was doing, solemnly raised his face, looked at me, and said, “If I had to say something, I would tell you that my silence is simply silence.”

“Unlike the people around me,” he looked up and surveyed the crowd in the restaurant, “they all have different lives, rich and interesting, covering all aspects… If you want to study and analyze, if you want to figure out what’s really going on with someone, you’d better not use me as a sample. Because none of your ideas will work on me.”

“I am the avenger, I only have this one identity, and my life only has this one direction.”

...

After those remarks about "Avengers" were made, Kurapika and I remained silent.

The heaviness in his words temporarily deterred me—I struggled to understand what it meant to him, but I could tell that it was somewhat inappropriate to approach him for a conversation at this point.

Not wanting to invite criticism, I calmed down.

We finished dinner in silence, then walked through the city streets as night fell. After walking for what seemed like an eternity, Kurapika stopped and said to me:

"Let's take a break for now."

I glanced at the direction his toes were pointing and reminded him, "It's a hotel... and you're paying this time too."

Kurapika simply replied, "Mm."

The place to stay was decided hastily and temporarily.

It happened to be the off-season for tourism, and the hotel didn't have many guests. If I hadn't been unable to provide an ID card, we could have booked two rooms.

...But never mind, it's fine, there's no danger in staying with this guy.

"What are you going to do next?" While riding the hotel elevator, the young man I had deemed harmless not only did not do anything suspicious, but even went out of his way to ask me questions. "Without an ID card, it's inconvenient to go anywhere... I managed to get away with it for now by using my hunter license as collateral, but who knows what will happen next time."

"Nothing much, we'll just have to see how it goes," I replied casually, staring at my toes. "Or you could lend me your hunter's license."

The value of a hunter's license is extraordinary. Several years ago, it could fetch 100 million Jenny just by being used as collateral. Even with the support of the Adrian family, I know that asking someone to hand over a treasure worth 100 million Jenny is simply wishful thinking.

You're lucky if you don't get a severe scolding.

However, considering the target is Kurapika...

I looked up and turned to look at him, and unexpectedly yet predictably, I noticed a hesitant look on his face.

I couldn't help but find it a bit unbelievable and ridiculous.

"You're actually starting to consider it..." I couldn't help but complain, "I've never met such a 'good person' in my life."

Kurapika: "...I'm not a good person."

Me: "I understand. Bad people won't admit they're bad, except for me."

Kurapika frowned again and said, "Didn't you want to leave the Zoldyck family?"

Perhaps he was afraid of me, because after he finished speaking, he quickly added, "Killua wants to help you. He and Gon are very special friends to me. Giving up a license is nothing. Although it may affect the handover of the mission and cause some trouble, I have a way to solve these problems."

I scoffed, "You and Killua must be really close."

This reason is completely untenable.

He realized the problem, pressed his lips tightly together, and his eyebrows furrowed so deeply they looked like knots.

When the elevator reached the designated floor, I casually pressed the open button. He stepped out of the elevator first, and I followed closely behind him.

After pushing open the door, I went straight to the chair and sat down, while Kurapika pushed open the bathroom door and hid inside.

Just as I was wondering if I was really that hard to get along with—how come the person I finally had a pleasant chat with suddenly turned on me in less than a day—I heard Kurapika's tired voice coming from the direction of the bathroom.

He came out of the restroom with his eyes changed color. Just as I expected, those originally deep black eyes actually concealed a fiery red.

"...Are we almost there?" Kurapika's voice wasn't meant to be spoken to me. He was holding up his phone, busy communicating with the person on the other end of the line. "Sorry, Leorio, I suddenly realized there's a problem here... No, there's no danger, it's just that I've run out of glasses. Could you please buy me a few more... Yes, dark ones, preferably black."

Only black contact lenses can cover up the vibrant colors of fiery red eyes.

After ending the call, he put down his phone, pressed his palm against his eyes, found a chair and sat down, resting his left hand on his thigh and continuing to cover his eyes with his right hand, looking haggard.

I recalled the events since we first met... He couldn't possibly have been wearing the same pair of colored contact lenses for so many days, but that thin artificial chip must have been stuck in his eye socket for some time.

My eyes will be ruined, won't they?

I wanted to ask him why he didn't lighten his load for a while, but the words that came out were automatically:

Is your friend the same doctor from last time?

“Hmm,” he replied simply.

“You actually contacted him,” I said. “I thought you preferred to be alone.”

As if recalling something, Kurapika's voice carried a hint of helplessness and amusement:

"I do prefer to handle everything myself... but I can't even get rid of you, can I?"

I snorted.

If you're trying to explain the depth of friendship between friends, there's no need to drag me into it.

To him, I was clearly just a redundant and troublesome presence.

After a while, the blond youth, who had temporarily regained some strength from his rest, got up from his chair, went back into the bathroom, turned on the hot water, and skillfully used a towel to apply a hot compress to his eyes.

"I heard that your eyes only change color when you have strong emotional fluctuations," I finally couldn't help but strike up a conversation with him, asking about eyes. "If that's the case, you should just control your emotions. Is it really necessary to wear colored contact lenses all the time?"

He chuckled softly.

“I hope I can be like that too,” he said.

The towel didn't seem warm enough, so he put it down, opened his eyes, and went back into the bathroom.

I stared at his back, recalling the eyes I had just seen in my mind. They weren't black, nor red, but a clear and refreshing azure like the sky.

"Can't you get back to normal?" I muttered to myself.

Does this mean he's in a peaceful mood right now?

Does wearing glasses mean he's in a bad mood?

But he wore glasses for so long, for such a long time.

My mind was full of questions.

Kurapika adjusted the towel, returned to his chair, gently pressed his eyes, and spoke in his usual calm tone.

“Of course I can. But I have a necessity to maintain that special form,” he said.

I didn't ask for the specific reason, but his words made me think of a more terrifying possibility.

"Since we're talking about maintaining it... what methods do you use to maintain it?" I suddenly felt his image had become a little frightening. "Emotions? Whether it's hatred or anger, experiencing the same emotion too many times will eventually numb you. When your heart is shattered, where will you find the extra mood and energy to perceive your own emotions?"

When I was with the Zoldyck family, I genuinely felt anger and hatred towards them for a long time.

Besides that, I also loathe Illumi, question Killua, and despise my mother.

Immersing yourself in the same kind of emotions for too long will gradually make you numb. So at the end of the story, when my mother suggested that I need to marry Illumi, I was just confused and relieved, thinking, "This day has finally come."

Even when I'm filled with resentment, I often feel exhausted and unable to perceive the world emotionally. So how does Kurapika manage to continuously awaken his intense emotions and maintain his fiery red eyes?

While maintaining that state of pain, he was still able to talk to me calmly and rationally, telling me that when getting to know someone, one should value their soul rather than their appearance.

I can't imagine it.

“Pain.” Faced with my doubts and disbelief, Kurapika said in a lighthearted tone, “Let’s have this for supper.” “Hatred, anger, sadness… When one of these emotions becomes numb and wanes, repeatedly give yourself verbal suggestions and fill yourself with another emotion that you haven’t had a chance to experience recently.”

Every day, I suffer because of my existence and weakness. When the pain subsides and can no longer burn my soul and tear my internal organs, I repeatedly recall the ruins and graves scattered everywhere on the day my clan was wiped out.

When the death of a member of their clan feels unreal, they torment themselves with the grief of losing loved ones and the homeland they could return to.

In short, to maintain red eyes, you have to live in hell every day.

Negative emotions are like hellfire, relentlessly scorching the soul that temporarily resides in this body.

In this situation, managing to say "I'm fine" or "Thank you for your help" to a concerned friend is enough to summon the last bit of warmth left in one's body.

...

Faced with this explanation, I finally realized why he showed resistance and antagonism when I said I wanted to understand what kind of person he really was.

Absolute indifference, cold on the outside but warm on the inside, or something else... none of these adjectives can be used to describe him anymore.

Using his body as a vessel, he filled himself with negative emotions composed of hatred, anger, and sorrow, becoming unrecognizable and hardly worthy of being called a "soul" that could be touched.

The moment the Phantom Troupe killed all his clansmen, they also erased his existence as a person capable of perceiving the world normally.

This is the power of hatred.

This is the result of hatred.

All the pain and darkness I had experienced in the past seemed like a flower compared to a mountain in the face of his magnificent and even splendid tragic landscape.

Flowers can sprout from the hard ground, but mountains are forced to endure the constant and relentless erosion of wind and sun, and this erosion seems endless due to the sheer size of the mountains.

After sitting quietly for a moment, I silently stood up, went into the bathroom, poured hot water on another towel that was on the counter, wrung it out, and came out to hand it to the blond young man.

His fingers trembled slightly at the not-too-hot temperature, then he moved the towel off his face with a puzzled look, opened his eyes, and looked at me with those blue eyes.

I don't want to talk.

Their eyes met, and he seemed to understand something. He didn't show any more questions or ask them aloud, and simply took the towel.

I returned to my seat.

“I know people from the Phantom Troupe,” I said. “He was the one who broke into my house first… Later I heard he was looking for his enemy, and that enemy, I think, is you.”

“If there’s no one else who can unite with the Phantom Troupe to resolve their unresolved grudges for the time being,” Kurapika said, “then it should be me.”

“I used to hate you,” I said, “for no reason.”

If it weren't for this enemy, Kuroro wouldn't have set his sights on Adrian Manor, and I wouldn't have met Kuroro.

During those agonizing nights, as I tossed and turned, I blamed all my suffering on this "enemy" I had never met.

However, upon seeing him, at this very moment, I realized that the pain he carried was already heavy enough, and my resentment wouldn't make a difference, especially since my resentment towards him was completely unfounded.

Kurapika replied, "Is that so?"

He made no comment on my past anger.

The room fell silent.

The doorbell rang abruptly a few moments later.

I was sitting further inside by the window, and Kurapika was right by the door, so he stood up and went to open it.

I watched as he put down the towel I had just handed him, unmoved... There was nothing I could do; all my kindness was left with the little bit I had just given him.

I think I've already taken extra care of him.

Especially compared to the treatment received by Illumi, Killua, and Kalluto.

...The doctor who had "kidnapped" me along with Kurapika appeared behind the doorbell.

After many twists and turns, our wonderful trio has reunited.

This can only be described as a kind of fate.

That's what I thought.

The doctor's voice was cheerful when he first entered the room:

"You opened the door so quickly! I was worried you might not be there—"

His cheerful voice stopped abruptly when his gaze met mine.

I smiled at him, raised my eyes, and reached out my hand to greet him.

Hi~

My doctor friend froze.

Half a minute later, he exaggeratedly took a big step back with his left foot, picked up his briefcase and held it in front of his chest, and said "Ha!" in a strong tone.

"Why is she here... Wait! Didn't we agree to help Killua find her? You've already found her, why didn't you say so?"

This sentence contains a lot of information.

The person who was dizzy and disoriented changed from him to me.

Help Killua, find me.

When was that?

I turned my gaze to Kurapika with suspicion.

The doctor friend, dressed in a black fitted suit, was also staring at Kurapika.

Kurapika remained unfazed under our piercing gazes.

One of his hands was still on the doorknob.

“Let’s come in first and talk about it later…” he said to his friend.

The other person finally stepped completely into the room, and the door closed.

Before Kurapika could explain, a man with a serious and dignified appearance, and a slightly menacing dark complexion, suddenly raised his voice and said:

"Oh no, there's a beautiful lady in the room! Door, door, Kurapika, open the door right now! That's basic respect for a lady!"

Kurapika: "...Have you forgotten where we are now?"

The man readily agreed: "Okay, let's open the window!"

He strode past me in one stride, swept the curtains wide open with a wave of his hand, then pushed open the window wide. He then adjusted his sunglasses, turned to me, and deliberately lowered his voice, saying in a deep tone:

"How are you feeling now, miss?"

Me: "...That's a bit pretentious."

He: "..." seemed quite devastated.

Kurapika stood at the doorway, facepalming. "Leorio...you overreacted..."

Oh, right, his friend's name is Leorio.

I had barely remembered this friend's name when Leorio excitedly interrupted Kurapika:

"Not at all! This is Miss Adrian. I didn't know the significance of the Adrian surname before, but after Killua explained it, I fully understand!"

“Miss,” he then said to me, “my name is Leorio. If your family or any of your partners have any medical needs, please be sure to contact me. I have obtained a Master of Medicine degree and have undergone a considerable period of internship training. I am absolutely a reliable and trustworthy doctor!”

Under his intense gaze, I had no choice but to passively reply, "...Oh, I see."

Leorio patted his chest and said, "My strength is not something I boast about. Miss Adrian, please watch closely. I'm going to treat Kurapika right now. If you have any discomfort, you can consult me. I will definitely make an accurate diagnosis and won't let you down."

Then he happily floated up to Kurapika.

The cheerful atmosphere didn't last long.

The man pried open his companion's eyelids with his hand to observe the condition of his eyeballs, and after asking a few questions, his expression became serious.

“I’m serious, you absolutely need to rest this time, Kurapika,” he said. “If you can’t even rely on your body, what strength do you have to seek revenge against the Phantom Troupe?”

"What's wrong with him?" I asked.

"I'm almost blind," Leorio said irritably. "My health isn't good either... Damn it! I learned this not only to make money but also to help people, and now I can only watch helplessly as my friend's condition worsens!"

“Miss, I’m going out to buy medicine,” he said, then instructed me, “Please keep a close eye on him. This stubborn guy can’t be let down for a moment. Don’t let him look at books or electronic device screens for now, and don’t let him reply to messages even if there’s some major news!”

After saying that, he stormed out of the room.

"How scary..." I couldn't help but sigh as I looked at his back. "At first, I thought he was going to be a comedic actor."

The door closed again.

"Leorio is someone who dares to beat up even legendary hunters for the sake of his friends," Kurapika said slowly after the door closed.

He tried to speak in a very ordinary way, but I could hear the underlying pride in his words.

...I'm a little hurt.

Their friendship is so deep that I feel really superfluous.

I curled up unhappily, hugging my knees, trying to relax, but to no avail. Finally, I could only raise my head and ask pitifully:

Would you like me to give you a hot towel?

I felt better after asking the question.

Kurapika replied with a curt "," as if he didn't understand my intention.

I explained simply, "I want to feel a sense of belonging."

he:"……"

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Thank you so much for your support! I will continue to work hard!