The Third Eye

539.

An Jin loves crabs, so I went with him to the beach over winter break. We were inexperienced the first time and didn't know we had to get up so early. He said he wanted to watch the sunrise, so he'd meet me at the door at 5:30, and we'd walk to the beach as fast as we could, otherwise we'd have to get up even earlier.

The purpose of the pill is to put you to sleep so that you don't have to worry about not being able to sleep tonight, but only about not being able to wake up tomorrow morning.

I'd slept less than four hours when I heard him knocking on the door downstairs. I came downstairs in a daze, opened the door, and hunkered down on the floor, refusing to get up. He thought I was being naive again, but I wasn't. I couldn't see clearly at all, or rather, all I saw was a blur of darkness. My head felt like it was being submerged in water, and even after the tinnitus subsided, I could still hear a gurgling sound.

Numbness in hands and feet, nausea.

He noticed I wasn't feeling well and asked if I was feeling well. He then helped me over to the sofa, told me to lie down for a while, and said we'd forget about it for today. I slept until the afternoon, and when I woke up, he was gone. I texted him to ask when he left, and he said he had just left.

540.

Senior: Is this medicine so uncomfortable to take?

Me: It won’t be like this if you get enough rest.

Senior: How long have you been eating?

Me: Several years.

Senior: How long do we have to keep eating?

Me: I don’t know, that’s it.

Senior: Why are all the furniture in your house covered with white cloth?

Me: I rarely come back.

Me: I was worried about it getting dusty, so I covered it all with one layer.

Me: Sometimes I’m too lazy to lift the lid when I get back, and I have to cover it again after I lift it up.

Senior: Are you so lazy?

Senior: Are you hungry? I brought you something to eat. It's dinner time.

Me: No thanks.

Senior: But I’ve already bought it, for two people.

Senior: What should I do?

Me: Okay.

Me: I’ll sweep the first floor. I won’t close the door. You can come in directly.

Senior: Oh.

Senior: Do you want more chili? Is a big bowl enough?

Me: Didn’t you say you had already bought it?

541.

The TV at home has been unavailable for a long time, perhaps because I haven't renewed my subscription? The two of us sat on the carpet in the living room to eat. He ate very quickly, but I had just woken up and couldn't eat much. After drinking the noodle soup, he asked me,

"Are you still in contact with Xu Jiaheng?"

"It's been a long time since we last contacted each other." This time it's true, we won't contact each other anymore.

"You two had a good relationship before?"

From my perspective, the memories I hold on to can attest to how wonderful it is. But from Qiu Yang's perspective, the parts I don't know, the parts I know I'll find difficult to accept later, seem to invalidate my testimony. Unsure how to respond, I just said noodles should be eaten in the store and brushed it off.

After putting the two empty boxes and disposable chopsticks into a plastic bag, An Jin asked me,

"Is there something you haven't told him? Besides liking him."

"who?"

"Xu Jiaheng."

"Yes." A lot.

"Then tell me."

"You want to know everything?"

"right."

"It's hard to say."

"It's okay, I'm listening."

"What I said is difficult to say. It's not that it's difficult to express, but I don't know if I can say it."

"Then, just say what you can say."

542.

I lowered my head and thought for a long time, then finally told him part of it. That time at the swimming pool, when I fell into the water and was on the verge of death, I remembered the parts that needed to be detailed and omitted, without exaggeration.

I'm afraid of water because of blood. What kind of disaster did I escape? What role did Alpha play in that disaster? He was a man forsaken by God, spending the rest of his life in the hospital, like a plant, without even consciousness. Of the two criminals, one escaped, the other died on the spot. I closed my eyes and lay under the bed until they found me.

The dead one's lips were slightly open, as if a third eye had grown on his forehead.

543.

"The third eye?" The process I described was much more detailed than this, and An Jin's palms were sweating after hearing it.

"Yes, that's the bullet hole."

"You fainted after seeing that?"

"Um."

"After waking up, you don't remember any of this, you only remember being afraid of water?"

"That's right."

"If you must remember, then you shouldn't have woken up."

"Yes, you are right." I tilted my head to the side and looked at him with a smile.

544.

The second time we went fishing was a few days later. I took my medicine the afternoon before, woke up around 5 a.m., and headed to the beach with him. It was a perfect temperature, a snowless winter. The water was much cooler than other months. With a shovel, you might find shells, clams, even half a jellyfish...

During busy tourist seasons, it's almost impossible to find a clear area. An Jin caught a lot of small crabs and put them in his bucket. I told him they looked meatless, and he said he didn't eat them. He'd put them all back in the sea later.

"Look, it can even wipe its eyes. Isn't it cute?"

"It's very cute. I fried it in a pot at noon."

"You have no love."

"So you caught this just to look at it?"

"right."

"Did you copy those lyrics just to read them?"

"yes."

"You buy posters of your favorite singer just to see them?"

"Yes."

"So what do you like to watch the most?"

I had some expectations, but he didn't give me a direct answer. He just said that this was our first meeting, he was here and I was on the balcony.

545.

"You can see the wool from such a distance," I said.

"It's far, but I happened to hear you practicing the piano when I passed by. One day, I forgot which day, the sound of the piano continued from night to day."

"I know which day you are talking about."

"Well, we met on that day. Although I hadn't met you then, I guessed you must be a very hardworking person. I didn't expect you to be so lazy."

"You guessed wrong. That day was not what you imagined." I was forced that day, not voluntarily.

"It doesn't matter. I like looking at you the most. Will you be satisfied with this answer?"

"meeting."