Turn-based

585.

Mid-January was the holiday break. An Jin had promised he'd come back to see me, but he never did. It was a short break, just two weeks like the previous class. With a few days left after finishing my homework, I rode my bike around the city at night, taking in the scenery. I took lots of photos of the starry sky and sent them to him. He didn't reply.

The night before the holiday ended, he called me and said he had found a new part-time job. I said it was okay for him not to come back, as we would definitely have a fight if we met under such circumstances.

"Are you unhappy?"

"I'm not happy. Why do you spend less time with me after we've been together? I don't understand."

"Have you been taking medicine lately?"

"It depends. I take it when I really can't sleep. After taking it, I sleep for a long time throughout the day."

"Take less medicine."

"I know, you..."

"What do you want to ask?"

I want to ask you if you love me or not, and why you can endure not seeing each other for so long.

586.

Without asking, I told him a story.

In junior high, there was a couple in our school who dated from the first to the third grade. Every day after school, the boy would wait for the girl at her classroom door and walk her home. They both had excellent grades and eventually got into No. 1 Middle School together. Almost everyone believed they might get married, but before the end of the first semester of their freshman year, they broke up. The boy got a new girlfriend, who wasn't any prettier or more impressive. When I asked why, he said it was because the girl had given him a cup of milk tea.

I think this story is ridiculous, but this is how reality works. A relationship that seems solid may just not have withstood any test, big or small.

As for the relationship between An Jin and I, it seems that it lacks support over the past few months, let alone stability.

587.

"Do you think this boy did something wrong?" An Jin asked me after listening.

"I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just surprised that a cup of milk tea can defeat the legend of 'true love'."

"You want to see me?"

"Yes, I heard that online dating also requires daily contact. We can't contact each other every day, and we can't even meet in person?"

"I didn't know you wanted to see me."

"There's so much you don't know." You don't reply to my letters, text messages, or even my phone calls. I don't know what you're trying to do, or why you're treating me like this.

"Open the door."

When I opened the door of the rental house, he was standing outside, looking at me.

"When did you come back?"

"Yesterday, it was hard to get tickets for the Lunar New Year holiday. When I finally managed to get one, it was too expensive. I returned it and waited for the price to drop, which I did until yesterday."

"School starts tomorrow." I sighed.

"I know."

"I mean, there's not even time for a date."

"You only said meeting, not dating."

"Come in, it's cold outside. If I hadn't said I wanted to meet, why wouldn't we be able to meet today?"

"No, I was planning to go to school to see you tomorrow." He took off his scarf, and I saw his ears were red from the cold. He picked up the air conditioner remote control and turned up the indoor temperature.

"Don't you have a part-time job?"

"Yes, I'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"Then why didn't I just go find you in the beginning? Why is there any need to go through all this trouble?"

"Senior year should focus on studying."

"Were you sent by Cheng Yuan? Okay, I'll focus on studying. I'll open my textbook now and you can leave."

"Don't be angry."

"Um."

"Take your medicine first. I'll wait until you fall asleep before leaving."

"You won't be there when I wake up tomorrow."

"I'll call you more often when I'm free."

"You don't have time for a relationship? Why don't you just break up?"

"Don't be angry with me, and don't argue. Do you want to eat the apple?"

“…”

"Or grapefruit?"

588.

We had an argument the other day when we were on the phone. He said he'd come back to see me, but didn't. Now he's said he wouldn't come back, and now he's back, and we're about to get into another argument. Every time we argue, every time I get angry, he asks if I want some fruit. It continued like this for the next few years, becoming a regular pattern. I say it's because you like it, not me, and besides, it doesn't have the magical power to make me stop getting angry.

But if he interrupts like this, our topic will shift to fruits and we will discuss which one is more nutritious.

589.

"Can't we leave a day later?" I said after eating a slice of grapefruit.

"Next time, come back a little longer next time."

"I don't like people who don't keep their word."

"So what kind of person do you like?" he asked me with his eyes wide open.

"I like you like this, but you don't keep your word."

"I won't do that next time, really."

"Okay, I'll trust you one last time."

"I'll leave the letter here. You can read it when you have time tomorrow. Go to bed first." He took out three envelopes of different colors from his bag and spread them on the table.

"I know why you don't come to see me when you have time."

"What nonsense? What do you know?"

"You don't miss me." You don't value this relationship, or you think just having it is enough. But I've heard that relationships aren't like that. People talk on the phone for hours every day when they're just together. We had those times, too, but not when we were together.

"I don't."

"No, then no."

"I missed you so much."

"Yeah." He continued.

"And you?"

"Oh, it's my turn so soon?" It's my turn again? Round after round of missing.

"Don't throw the letter away after you read it."

"Don't worry, I won't throw away anything you give me."

"Sleep well."

"I know. Are you leaving now?"

"right."

"Okay, I'll take you there."

"Need not."

"...I'll take you there. I want to take you there. I'll take you to the gate of the community and watch you get in the taxi before I leave. Also, before you get in the car, I think we should hug each other. That would be more appropriate." Only then would we be like a couple, and only then would it be appropriate for me to change my signature to 'In Love'.

"I didn't know you thought that. Come on. What are you laughing at??"

"I laughed. I laughed. We've been dating for a few months, but this relationship is still so unfamiliar."

......