Chapter 17

"I don't know why, but I can't seem to remember anything from my childhood." Zou Ping muttered to herself and fell asleep again.

She lay on her side, her hair a little disheveled, her brows slightly furrowed, as if she were hiding from something in a dream. Her breathing was slow, but her expression was clearly uneasy.

Tang Yuchuan stood for a moment, leaned over to pull up the corner of the quilt, tucked it in for her, then turned and walked out.

In the early morning at the hospital, the corridors are emptier than at other times.

He knocked on the door at the end of the corridor.

"Come in." A slow response came from inside.

Tang Yuchuan pushed the door open and went in.

Sitting behind the desk was a doctor wearing wire-frame glasses, a thin build, a white coat, and regular features. He was looking down at a medical record.

"Lu Zhe." Tang Yuchuan called him softly.

The doctor looked up and saw him. His expression froze, then he smiled. "Why are you here? Are you having health problems again?"

"It's not me this time." Tang Yuchuan closed the door and sat down at the table. His voice was as calm as ever. "I brought a friend with me. Can you help me take a look later?"

"Which bed number?"

"Observation bed in 6A. Zou Ping, 23 years old. She started having a fever yesterday and it's mostly gone this morning, but she's not feeling quite right." Tang Yuchuan paused. "She's been comatose for a long time, has frequent nightmares, and when she's awake she's depressed and a little slow to react. She also seems to have trouble remembering her childhood."

Lu Zhe entered his name into the computer and took a look. "The physical examination report shows no abnormalities. The temperature has dropped to 37.4, and the heart rate is a little slow, but it's not a problem."

"Is there anything unusual about her speech or behavior?"

"Not at the moment. But she's... like, exhausted. Not physically, but emotionally."

Lu Zhe leaned back in his chair, took off his glasses, and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"It could be a stress response, a trauma response."

Tang Yuchuan didn't say anything, just nodded slightly.

"Has she had a bad experience before?"

"I'm not sure." He paused, "I didn't ask...do I need to take her to see a psychiatrist?"

Lu Zhe didn't ask further questions, only saying, "From what you said, her condition is more like stress-induced memory blockage. She currently doesn't have persistent hallucinations or self-harm tendencies, so she doesn't need immediate psychological treatment. If it doesn't affect her life, forced probing may awaken deep memories, which would be too much mental stimulation."

Tang Yuchuan responded in a low voice: "Okay."

After saying that, he prepared to get up.

"Wait." Lu Zhe suddenly stopped him and took out a medicine spray from the drawer. "Have you had asthma attacks recently? I have a new batch of formoterol plus budesonide, an imported combination. It works well. You should try it."

Tang Yuchuan turned around, took a look at the medicine, reached out to take it, and said in a light tone: "You really treat me like a long-term patient."

"You wouldn't call this a long-term condition?" Lu Zhe raised his eyebrows. "I've had asthma since junior high. I cough every time the seasons change. I don't remember the time last year when I couldn't sleep at night. But the scar has healed and the pain has been forgotten. I'm not sad at all. Tell me, if I don't care about you, who will?"

Tang Yuchuan smiled and didn't say anything back. He just lowered his eyes and looked at the medicine spray in his palm, and gently turned the medicine cap twice.

Lu Zhe watched his movements and spoke in a slower tone, "You've had a lot of health problems in recent years. Your asthma and stomach problems are serious. You need to be more careful. Don't wait until something bad happens before you think about taking medicine."

Tang Yuchuan nodded, his tone still as calm as ever: "I remember."

Lu Zhe tutted, looking both dissatisfied and helpless. "You should pay more attention. Don't just keep saying 'remember, remember' and then put everything aside after remembering it."

Tang Yuchuan looked up at him, the corners of his mouth slightly curved. The smile was barely perceptible, but it was genuinely gentle.

He stood up, put the spray into his pocket, and said in a tone as light as the wind: "Thank you. I know you are good to me."

Lu Zhe frowned and said, "Don't give me that. If you really know, don't let me run into you in the emergency room next time."

Tang Yuchuan didn't say anything else, just nodded slightly at him, then turned and walked out, his steps neither hurried nor slow.

When I came out of the hospital, it was already daylight.

Tang Yuchuan stood at the hospital entrance for a while, not smoking or making phone calls. He just stood there, the wind blowing the hem of his suit, one hand in his pocket, the other still holding the medicine spray.

He did not return to the ward immediately, but called a taxi and went to the old villa area in Xicheng.

Gu Xing's house is located in that quiet street. It is a single-family house converted from an old villa, with a stone staircase and tree shadows covering the windows.

The doorbell rang for three seconds before Gu Xing came out to open the door. He was wearing a dark grey home shirt and his hair was a little messy, as if he had just woken up.

"You're early." He said, stepping aside to let him in. "Why do you look so bad?"

"fine."

"An upset stomach again?"

“A little.”

Gu Xing didn't ask any more questions and just took him into the house. On the coffee table were some documents from unknown times and unwashed coffee cups.

Tang Yuchuan stood in front of the French window, looking at the neatly trimmed green plants outside. After a long while, he spoke: "I want to talk to you about Zou Ping."

Gu Xing paused, a cold smile on his face: "I guessed you would ask me, but I didn't expect it to be so early... You know I had a younger sister when I was a child."

"Gu Wanqing." Tang Yuchuan said the name with a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"She is." Gu Xing's voice was low, like a layer of ice that had been suppressed for a long time finally cracked.

The air became heavy and it seemed as if one could hear the heartbeat.

"Uncle Gu and Aunt Gu searched for her for so many years when they were alive, but they couldn't find her... When did you know?" Tang Yuchuan asked tentatively.

Gu Xing looked at the water cup on the table and said in a low voice that was almost inaudible: "A long time ago."

"You're not going to acknowledge her."

"Of course not." He sneered, his tone flat. "She is the Gu family's biological daughter. I am just their picked-up thing. I fought hard to survive all those years, and it was not easy to get to where I am today. If she comes back, I will be back to square one. Tell me, what do I want?"

His voice was low, but the end of the sentence revealed a hint of almost collapsing depression.

Tang Yuchuan stared at him for two seconds, then didn't ask any more questions. Instead, he slowly changed direction: "She went missing that year... Did it have anything to do with you?"

Gu Xing smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes: "Brother Yuchuan, are you doubting me now?"

"That's not what I meant." Tang Yuchuan paused, but his eyes did not avoid.

"Then what do you mean?" Gu Xing slowly sat up straight, the fatigue in his eyes faded away, leaving only a hint of coldness.

Tang Yuchuan didn't respond, but simply changed the question: "Since you don't want her to come back, why did you let me go find her in the first place?"

Gu Xing's smile paused on his face for a second, then slowly faded away, revealing lines of fatigue.

"That year, she was almost sold by her adoptive father." He paused and continued, "I actually thought about ignoring her. But in the end, I still let you go... Do you think I'm sick?"

"Why me?"

"Because you will go." Gu Xing whispered, "You won't ask too many questions, and you won't investigate me even if you suspect anything."

Tang Yuchuan didn't say anything, but just looked at him motionlessly.

"Aren't you always kind-hearted?" Gu Xing said softly, "You were willing to pity me back then, so I wanted to see if you could pity her as well."

Tang Yuchuan was silent.

As far as he could remember, it was that winter that he first realized that Gu Xing’s life in the Gu family was not even that of a human being.

He was sixteen years old and Gu Xing was nine years old at that time.

His father sent him to live in the Gu family for a short period of time, saying, "Uncle Gu is busy, and Wanqing is young, so you go and take care of him."

Tang Yuchuan never liked this kind of occasion, but he didn't turn it down. He knew that his father sent him there because he wanted him to have a closer relationship with the Gu family.

In the eyes of that family, Gu Xing was just a quiet, obedient and unpleasant "shadow".

Tang Yuchuan ran into him eating alone in the kitchen one night.

An hour had passed since dinnertime, and the living room lights were off. The kitchen was still lit, the door ajar. He pushed it open and saw Gu Xing squatting on the cold tile floor, eating from a bowl—or rather, nibbling on a small, cracked ball of rice, with a few cold stir-fried greens beside the bowl.

There is no heat.

If Tang Yuchuan hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would never have imagined that this kind of thing happened in modern society, and in a wealthy family like the Gu family.

When Gu Xing saw him, he just paused, as if he was doing something commonplace.

"Is this what you want to eat?" Tang Yuchuan asked in a low voice.

Gu Xing nodded, said nothing, and continued chewing.

Tang Yuchuan said nothing that day. He went back to his room, dug out half a bag of milk candies and a bag of nut biscuits from his schoolbag, knocked on the door, and quietly placed them at Gu Xing's door. The next morning, the bag was gone, and the door was ajar, as if nothing had happened.

From then on, he would always find opportunities to bring some food to Gu Xing, or leave some hot dishes for the kitchen lady to heat up for the child in the evening. He used the word "in the meantime" as if to deceive himself, not to make his concern too obvious, otherwise the family would think he was meddling.

Sometimes he would secretly take him outside the school to eat a bowl of hot beef noodles, and tell him some harmless jokes on the way.

Gu Xing didn't refuse, but he never thanked her. He just ate slowly, then whispered, "Go home early and don't keep them waiting."

Tang Yuchuan knew that he was not heartless. He was just not used to accepting kindness and was unwilling to expose his weaknesses.

Tang Yuchuan also knew that these small favors of his could not change anything.

He had seen Gu Xing being punished to kneel in the snow, just because Wan Qing fell and cried, and Gu's mother insisted that he was the one who pushed her.

He had heard Gu's father get drunk and call him an ungrateful person and a bitch, and smash his wine glass all over the floor.

He knew Gu Xing slept in the utility room, where there was no electric heating in the winter and the mattress was as thin as paper. He had secretly bought him a fleece blanket, and Gu Xing accepted it, but the next day he cut it into pieces and sewed it into tablecloths, saying, "I don't want anyone to see me using it and then have to kneel down again."

Tang Yuchuan's throat was blocked and he couldn't speak.

Many years later, when talking about Gu Xing, Tang Yuchuan still felt that that period was the most failed rescue in his life.

He had clearly sensed something was wrong, had clearly seen those traces, and had even tried to reach out, but he was young, had an awkward identity, and was filled with concerns. He hadn't been able to completely pull Gu Xing out of that hell.

He could only put sugar into the boy's bitter life little by little, like giving a straw to a drowning man, hoping that he could breathe.

Later, Gu Xing said that he had survived more than ten years relying on that little bit of warmth.

The more he said this, the more guilty Tang Yuchuan felt. He knew that this was far from enough. He had done too little.

Gu Wanqing is innocent, Tang Yuchuan knows it.

But Tang Yuchuan also understood that Gu Xing, as the person involved, hated Gu Wanqing and her entire family. He couldn't expect a victim to separate all the hatred so clearly. He couldn't blame him.